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Taboogasm

Gregor Xane (Goodreads Author)

really liked it 4.00 · Rating details · 26 ratings · 17 reviews

ILLUSTRATED!

Bill likes booze. He likes women. But he doesn't like to work. Luckily for Bill, if he plays the lottery, he wins.

Every single time.

What happens when a low-life starts living the high life?

What happens when a deadbeat loser becomes the luckiest man alive?

He draws some unwanted attention, naturally, from dark and powerful forces, and before he knows what's what ...more

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Kindle Edition, 162 pages

Published July 2016 by new dollar pulp

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· 26 ratings · 17 reviews

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Nov 30, 2016 Janie C. rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Gregor Xane. Oh my goodness, you're like Ruby Tuesday: who could hang a name on you? Every book you write gets consistently stranger, in the best ways possible. How can I explain this book? Is it Bizarro? Is it Genre-Free? Is it of this earth? Here's the gist: a man walks into a Burly Earle Stop & Shop, buys some lottery tickets and wins nearly a trillion dollars (alas, he is one dollar short). Man turns home into an exotically expensive playpen, meets alien at a party and escapes with h ...more

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Jul 26, 2016 Edward Lorn rated it really liked it

Recommends it for: Everyone with a sense of humor

Disclaimer: Gregor Xane is a good friend of mine. We speak daily. I also helped to design the layout of the cover for the hardcover edition and did the font work on the Kindle and paperback covers, although the artwork is all Mike Tenebrae's fault. And before you brush this review off as a biased review from a friend, I am overly critical of the people I surround myself with. I don't kiss anyone's ass and I sure as shit am not going to help promote someone I don't think deserves it. Gregor is on Disclaimer: Gregor Xane is a good friend of mine. We speak daily. I also helped to design the layout of the cover for the hardcover edition and did the font work on the Kindle and paperback covers, although the artwork is all Mike Tenebrae's fault. And before you brush this review off as a biased review from a friend, I am overly critical of the people I surround myself with. I don't kiss anyone's ass and I sure as shit am not going to help promote someone I don't think deserves it. Gregor is one of the good ones. Probably the best indie author working right now. That is my honest opinion.

Now for a little goofiness.

My buddy Gregor knows his way around weird. He's spent a significant amount of time honing his craft and perfecting the art of explaining the unexplainable. While he is my friend, I look forward to his newest work like I do the works of Stephen King and Rachel Ray and John from the now disbanded band John and Kate Plus Eight. And, once you've completed Taboogasm, I'm sure you'll become a dedicated Xanist, as well. But first, a history lesson.

My purely-platonic-yet-erotic man-crush on Gregor Xane started when I read his debut, Six Dead Spots, and gave it a critical review. Gregor contacted my eliteness soon after to express how much he wanted to massage my manly bits. I responded by telling him I was married but we could totally cyber sex like it was 1999 as long as he agreed not to tell my wife about our late-night, virtual saber-clashing sessions. Between rugged hammering of each other's tent stakes, Gregor asked me to do a proofread of another piece of classy literature entitled The Hanover Block. I fangirled all over that thing until it became stiffer than a pair of old sweat socks baked in a kiln. Since then Gregor's sexy ass has taken me from mound pounding to goat loving to puppet shows to cattle farming, until finally we stopped here at Taboogasm.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Who the fuck is Edward Lorn and why should I care what he thinks?" I have no answer to that question. But what I do know is that Gregor Xane should be a household name by now. It is an affront to Tom Cruise's good name that Gregor Xane is not on the tip of your tongue every morning and the last thing in your mouth before you kiss your significant other goodnight in the evening. And Taboogasm is a damn good reason as to why that should be the case. This man has proven he can write anything and write it well. But what I find most impressive about Gregor's writing is the fact that he can make the craziest shit so damn real and enthralling. Because, in the hands of a lesser author, his premises would not be taken seriously. It is a testament to Gregor's writing chops that I was able to suspend my disbelief while reading the story you are about to experience. For fuckery is afoot, and you're about to have one helluva freaky ride.

In summation: Taboogasm is a must read for many reasons, but the simplest reason is the best one. You have never and will never read anything like it. Come for the experience. Stay for the fantastic writing.

Final Judgment: Men's Adventure with a Xanist twist. ...more

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Jun 03, 2016 Evans Light rated it it was amazing

(FULL DISCLOSURE: Gregor Xane has been a fellow contributor on several anthologies, and has become a friend over the last couple of years. That being said, our friendship was born primarily out of his stellar writing abilities, as his debut short story "It Came From Hell and Smashed the Angels" and novella Six Dead Spots absolutely blew me away and led me to seek him out. This review is my honest opinion, as free from personal bias as possible.)

I've just finished reading TABOOGASM, Gregor Xane's (FULL DISCLOSURE: Gregor Xane has been a fellow contributor on several anthologies, and has become a friend over the last couple of years. That being said, our friendship was born primarily out of his stellar writing abilities, as his debut short story "It Came From Hell and Smashed the Angels" and novella Six Dead Spots absolutely blew me away and led me to seek him out. This review is my honest opinion, as free from personal bias as possible.)

I've just finished reading TABOOGASM, Gregor Xane's first full-length work since the mind-melting spectacle that was The Hanover Block. I finished reading it yesterday, slept on it, yet still find myself at a loss for words.

TABOOGASM may in fact be a mystical porthole, a voyeuristic excursion into Gregor Xane's dreams.

Much like Xane's The Hanover Block, this book defies description. TABOOGASM is its own thing, a whole new flavor of inXanity™.

If I wanted to orient a mainstream reader, I'd say it lies somewhere in the general vicinity of Douglas Adams and David Wong (John Dies at the End), and it does - but in the same sort of way that Pluto lies in the general vicinity of earth.

The book is unrelentingly imaginative and by turns funny, bizarre, vulgar, and surprisingly action-packed. There's a light feel to the whole proceedings, playfulness laced with a sense of unease generated by a story line that veers so far off the path well-traveled you'll find yourself holding on for dear life as things pick up speed.

One of the hallmarks of a good book is a feeling of disappointment when the final sentence arrives, a longing for the story to continue. I'm eager to follow this adventure along to the next uncharted destination, and I hope this book connects with an audience so that can happen someday. The ending leaves things perfectly poised for a sequel.

If you want to be amused and disturbed in the best possible ways, give this a spin. You'd have to be incapable of joy to not have a good time with this book.

BONUS: The book is full of wonderful illustrations by Mike Tenebrae, which complement the story perfectly.

4.5 STARS - It left me wanting more! ...more

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Apr 28, 2016 Gregor Xane added it · (Review from the author)

Shelves: 2016, bizarro, dark-humor, novella, science-fiction, weird

Taboogasm is now available in paperback and Kindle editions.

Order the Paperback:

Amazon | B&N | BAM!

Grab the Kindle Edition for 99¢!

Click the cover image below to read a sample.

...more

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Apr 28, 2016 Bill rated it really liked it

Gregor was saving up the crazy for a rainy day with Taboogasm.

It just started pouring.

If you have ever read any of Mr. Xane’s work then you know he is one hell of a writer and has a real talent for the strange and wonderfully bizarre.

I couldn’t begin to explain this one.

You will just need to read it for yourself.

You won’t regret it.

flag 14 likes · Like · see review

Aug 01, 2016 Steve rated it liked it

Shelves: read-in-2016, science-fiction

One of the strangest books I've ever read, and I have no idea how to rate it. For now, it's three stars, but I may adjust that rating in the future. ...more

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Nov 04, 2016 11811 (Eleven) rated it liked it

I know this dude through Goodreads and I keep reading his stuff because he's probably my favorite weird fiction writer I've come across so far. This was equal parts comedy and surreal and I prefer the more surreal stuff but I still had a trippy good time.

I still recommend The Hanover Block first among his work. I'm still in the market for a therapist just to help me with that book. ...more

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May 21, 2018 Douglas Hackle rated it really liked it

This was my first time reading Xane, and I'm impressed. Dude can write. A fun read and not your average lottery winner story, Taboogasm is zany (xany?), insane (inxane?), and a little zesty (xesty?). ...more

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Aug 29, 2016 Jeff French rated it really liked it

Shelves: wtf-novels

Taboogasm is unlike anything I have ever read. If you think you know where this book is going after the first few pages, I can guarantee that you'll be wrong. If I were to try to summarize the book, it would sound ludicrous, and yet Xane somehow pulls it all together and makes it work. Entertaining and original, Taboogasm is a wild ride. Buckle up! ...more

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Oct 21, 2016 Daniel Barnett rated it it was amazing

A crazy goddamn joy is what this was. I laughed. I grinned like an idiot. I laughed some more. Gregor Xane had a great time here, and when a great author has a great time, well, you know how that one goes.

You don't know?

Well, you should. And you will, if you climb aboard Taboogasm. ...more

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Aug 04, 2016 John Gibbons rated it really liked it

Shelves: favorites

A man stumbles into a convenience store for some beer and smokes. As he goes to checkout he decides to get a lottery ticket. He wins a decent amount and plays again, and keeps winning. Sounds like a lucky son of a bitch right? Well, things for Bill just keep getting weirder and weirder as this novella continues. I really want to be vague so as to not give off any of the plot. I will say this, Gregor Xane has a hell of an imagination, and I've really enjoyed reading his work. As long as he keeps ...more

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Jan 07, 2017 Amanda rated it really liked it · review of another edition

I keep going back and forth between rating this 3 or 4 stars. I think I am going to settle on 3 and 1/2 stars. I typically, but not always, “round-up” on star ratings, and I feel this deserves a “round-up”.

This was my first book by Gregor Xane. Months ago, I noticed a goodreads friends rate and review this book. I thought the cover looked interesting, so I decided to add it to my “to-read” pile. I had some Christmas money left over, and it seemed like the perfect time to give a new author a try. ...more

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Feb 08, 2018 Creekbird rated it it was amazing

If I ever win the billion dollar lottery, TABOOGASM, the movie, is priority numero uno.

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Oct 28, 2016 Susan rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: ebook, humor, contemporary, sf

Taboogasm by Gregor Xane Bill is a sad sap. He’s usually drunk and when he’s not drunk, he’s hungover. He’s a wretch, but a very lucky wretch. He keeps winning one lottery after another. In fact, he’s gotten his sorry self banned from a few lotteries for life because he’s so lucky. Just when he thinks his life can’t get any luckier, he stumbles upon a small but determined group of aliens. Yep. This story goes from being an odd comedy to a kind of scifi horror flick. Oh, to hell with it! I’m not Taboogasm by Gregor Xane Bill is a sad sap. He’s usually drunk and when he’s not drunk, he’s hungover. He’s a wretch, but a very lucky wretch. He keeps winning one lottery after another. In fact, he’s gotten his sorry self banned from a few lotteries for life because he’s so lucky. Just when he thinks his life can’t get any luckier, he stumbles upon a small but determined group of aliens. Yep. This story goes from being an odd comedy to a kind of scifi horror flick. Oh, to hell with it! I’m not sure what genre to shove this book in!
The most important thing about this book is that it made me laugh, often inappropriately. That probably says a lot about my personality, but you won’t figure that out unless you read this book. Sometimes I was laughing because the situation was sad and true, so therefore a little funny. Sometimes I was laughing because you just can’t simply read those taboos without laughing, sometimes uncomfortably. Gregor Xane manages to poke fun at a lot of taboos in this book. There’s plenty of dwarf humor, jibes at pregnancy, and also inappropriate use of puppets shaped liked aliens. Yeah, I’ll just let you stew on that.
Much of the book takes place in a mansion that is really a spaceship. Bill and Miss Plumpkin are the only two humans in this mansion that’s on a voyage to a far off alien world. Jake, the alien who masterminded this, was the last of a site-seeing group that crashed on Earth a few decades ago. The mansion is staffed with robots who impersonate their human counterparts. Reno is the chief among these, explaining things to the humans and keeping the staff in order. Since Bill is stuck in space for a great length of time, he falls into a ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’ episode and becomes even more wretched than he was on Earth. Yet, even here, there is humor. It’s often limp, vulgar, and encrusted in stale vomit, but it’s there. Once our ‘hero’ comes out of this sodden episode, the humor returns with more dwarf jokes and some unexpected comfort bots.
There’s no one character that I could consistently root for in this book, but it was a very, very interesting fiction. I’m OK with it lacking a hero and a definite villain as this made the story interesting. I never knew where it was going and I was little sad when it ended. While I did sometimes suffer from crude humor fatigue, I kept coming back to it. Reading this book was like watching several natural disasters, one after the other. Fascinating, scary, and filled with nervous laughter.
I read this book through the Kindle Unlimited program.
The Illustrations: Mike Tenebrae was responsible for the cover and several illustrations in the book, which are also part of the Kindle ebook edition. Of course, the cover drew me right to this book. I was rooting for the killer whale from the start. However, I feel that Tenebrae’s illustrations within the story are the better ones. They are a bit more detailed and sometimes there are naughty bits. I also appreciate his attention to facial expressions that reflect the book scene he’s captured so well. ...more

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Jul 17, 2016 Marjolein rated it liked it

Shelves: arc, read-in-english, review-pending, science-fiction, wtf-did-i-just-read

Full review to come!

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Feb 17, 2020 Miguel Jorge rated it liked it · review of another edition

This book is something else entirely.
Not a bad thing that every new page there is a new crazy turn. But those crazy turns sometimes were too much out there, and at some point I was expecting anything. The writing is good, the book has some very good moments. But in the end was really the story that was maybe too crazy for me. I like craziness a lot, but with this book I found there is a limit for how much I can take.

Overall a good book. But yeah, kinda nuts.

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Nov 02, 2016 Rick rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: bizarro, own-pulp

This was a really fun read but since I will be leading a group read I will hold my full review until after that discussion has concluded. If I hadn't been so exhausted every night I would have finished this in just a week. ...more

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About Gregor Xane

Gregor Xane

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I prefer science fiction, fantasy, and horror without the spaceships, dragons, and zombies.

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