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The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively

(5 Love Languages)

4.20  ·  Rating details ·  17,987 ratings  ·  1,802 reviews

More than 1 million sold!

You know you love your child. But how can you make sure your child knows it?

The #1 New York Times bestselling The 5 Love Languages® has helped millions of couples learn the secret to building a love that lasts. Now discover how to speak your child’s love language in a way that he or she understands. Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr

Kindle Edition, 224 pages
Published April 15th 2016 by Northfield Publishing (first published May 28th 1995)
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 ·  17,987 ratings  ·  1,802 reviews

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The concept of the five love languages is very inspiring, and it was fun to figure out which is the best way to express my love to each of my kids. Of course it’s not that simple, not that black and white: they – just like everyone else – are multilingual. The five love languages may seem oversimplified, and some examples fabricated, but the book has its merits. It’s about love after all.
Jun 16, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is brilliant! Beyond the fact that this is a book about how to love your child in the way that he or she best identifies and recognizes as love...because that alone is a smart and beautiful undertaking, this book begins by introducing the concept of learning to speak your child's love language and then includes a gentle list of things to remember about children.

In this book, Chapman and Campbell explain each of the five ways a child expresses and receives love. They explain how to iden
Jennifer Wedemeyer
Immediately, I realized that I wasn't meeting each of my children's individual love need. I thought my son's main love language was physical touch but it's also words of affirmation. This is so obvious in that he is always touching, always wrestling, and always in your personal space and now that I realize it he's also always asking if everything is ok, did he do this ok, am I all right and he is so happy after receiving positive words of affirmation from myself and my husband. After reading Gar ...more
Feb 26, 2014 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I've read the original 5 Love Languages and so this one was sort of a waste of my time. I did find some valuable tips and interesting insights, but the 5 languages are the same for kids as adults, so it was the same book all over again. With an adult, you can say, "Here honey, take this quiz to let me know what your primary love language is." With kids, you can't do that as easily. This book (politely) says to the reader, "Hey, dummy. Try quality time and see how your kid responds. Then try word ...more
Feb 21, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: A Must Read For All Parents
I think this book is fascinating! I've noticed that my children, my spouse and I all have a love language that relates to them. The love language is your preferred way of giving & receiving love. What I loved most about this book is the knowledge that when you discipline a child in their love language it cuts really deep. For example, my daughter is a words of affirmation child, and when I correct her actions, she shuts down (even when I do it in the nicest way 'we can't touch that sweetie') My ...more
Jan 28, 2010 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: book-club
I am a blue, type - A, ESTJ, who likes to be shown love through quality time, and likes long walks on the beach and....WAIT, no I'm not. I'm Karen, a girl with lots of personality quirks, one of which is that I dislike pop psychology books that tell me I and everyone else fits into one of their created, ficticious descriptions. I have to admit, I didn't even finish this book (I did read almost all of it though). Probably most of us are familiar with the five love languages, they have enjoyed bei ...more
Joshua Park
Sep 15, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
With any book that's designed to help parents be better parents for their kids, it's easy to fall into the trap of defining the success of the book by whether its advice was successful in the reader's family. The fact that every child is different is actually the highlight of this book. This helps people understand why two kids might react completely differently to the same gifts, the same activities, and the same punishments. It has to do with how the people involved show and express love.

Sep 08, 2015 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
This book, like the other "Five Languages of Love" book, takes an interesting concept that could have been detailed in a 3-5 page essay but is instead stretched miserably with vague example stories and filler recaps so they could publish an entire book. Also, the section that declared that not all women work, so they should talk to their husbands about receiving a monthly budget to buy them gifts was particularly weird.
May 16, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
I am really torn over what I thought of this book. While I like the concepts and I think it had valuable information I had a hard time with it. For some reason I couldn't get into the writing style. I constantly found my mind wandering and having to go back and re-read portions. The last several parenting books that I have read have been very readable so I found this hard to reconcile.

For the most part I felt like the "love languages" were well explained but in the later chapters when examples
Rock Rockwell
Now that you know my love language, will you use it against me? Seriously, compartamentalizing love into five expressions is a bit limited. To some it may help to understand why those "special" people don't meet our expectations, and how to accept their love expression (even though it may not mean much to my love language receptor). I was one of the unusual ones that couldn't figure out my love language... sort of like those personality/gift tests (dinc) that put me in the "I don't know" range. ...more
Nov 01, 2017 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
There are some real problems with this book. I finished it, because there were a few helpful nuggets I could take away, but in general, I have some serious objections.

First, maybe I live under a rock, but it's not immediately apparent from the front cover, back blurb, or early chapters that this book has religious undertones. Religious nonfiction is great for some people and has an important place, but, as I've said with novels that try to sneak a message in in the last quarter, be upfront about
Aug 07, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was a joint read, so we could read and discuss our parenting tactics, but it became much more than that. We'd worked through The Five Love Languages before and I remember being blown away by that, not expecting the same thing here - and for a very different reason.

Our experimental test subject (first child) is still a toddler, under the key age for this book; the specific tactics aren't really applicable for under 4s, and you probably want to implement them before the teenage years begin (
Aug 19, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone, but especially parents
Shelves: non-fiction
My oldest child is much like me, but my second felt so different! But for the first time I'm understanding him, and this book may be the difference between a close relationship with him during these formative years, and a distant one.

This is the best parenting book I've read. In a nutshell: everyone shows love and desires love in return, but we do it in different ways. Those "ways" are called languages, and are condensed into five types. Receiving love in YOUR language fills your love tank. Kids
Jan 29, 2016 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was fine. I'm super familiar with the love languages, so I don't really know what I thought would be different about this book. It was literally the exact same thing, just with examples pertaining to kids and then some thoughts later about how these apply to learning and discipline and so on. It did say that in kids under 5, it is impossible to tell what their love language is, so in some ways major parts of the book didn't apply to me yet since my kids are 3 & 5. It was good food for thoug ...more
3.5 Stars This had a lot of good information and helped me to see what my children's love languages are, but I think it could have been half the length. I felt like they added extra chapters at the end, especially the one for single parents and the children of divorce horror stories, just to fill up the pages.

Popsugar Challenge 2020 - A book with a made-up language
Connie  Kuntz
I enjoyed this, not just because it gives me ideas about how to better communicate with my children, but also because it sheds insight about how to better communicate with my spouse, co-workers, and friends. However, because this book is about the love languages of children, I will try to write about only that.

This book is about exploring how your children (or spouse or co-worker or friend or what-have-you) communicates and how best to match your appreciation of that person to that person's pref
Jul 25, 2011 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenthood
I appreciate the aims of this book. My biggest worry as a parent--or rather, ONE of my many biggest--is that my daughter will not feel sufficiently loved/appreciated/proud of/etc. Love was a complicated and fraught thing in my home growing up, which has led me to be overly-concerned and ready to consume the books offered at the library in hopes of not missing out.

This is another one of those books that could have been covered in a nice article rather than a lengthy book and the elaborations seem
Mar 19, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The authors expound on their theory that there are five different ways that people express and experience love: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service. By the time kids are five or so, they say, the kids have started to have a preference (before then children just need love in all the languages all the time). Knowing your child's love language can help you to be sure that they know that you love them, which leads to all kinds of good things they'd like to t ...more
Apr 09, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I listened to this book as an audiobook and I couldn't get enough of it, I was so into almost everything Chapman had to say. I truly believe that I am loving my children fully but this book gave me some ideas on how certain love languages speak to each of them differently. After hearing it, I know that it is true, and I just didn't know why before. Most people probably read this when their kids are younger, I never had, but I think that heading into the teen years, when the kids are changing and ...more
Jan 13, 2020 rated it really liked it
An informative read, but mostly directed towards parents. Still got some good nuggets of advice from it though.
If you are already familiar with the 5 Love Languages Concept, the format and content of this book will be familiar to you. The difference here is that this book is written for parents to better understand how their children best feel loved.

Although the Love Languages books have been out for some time now, I only became acquainted with it myself a few months ago. I had been hearing about the book for many years and was finally compelled to take the test myself online to discover my own love lang
Mary-Anne Swift
Apr 10, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
"The wonderful thing about human relationships is that they are not static. The potential for making them better is always present."
This book was wonderful! I thought it was the most helpful "parenting" book I've read yet. While a few of the examples were really extreme, most of them were great. It was so informative and eye-opening to me to read about the 5 love languages with my children in mind. It was also a great refresher for me since I read the original 5 Love Languages book back in colle
10%-- Erk. Pretty smarmy. Not sure I'm going to be enlightened beyond the title, which is-- use the five love languages on your kids.

100%-- Well, it's pretty much exactly what the title says. It's formulaic but a good reminder to seek out the way important people in your life like to be loved.

Finished in one day.
Jessica B.
Mar 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This books casts a beautiful vision for raising children and making family relationships a little better. In other words, this book is about making society a little better ❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️
Apr 02, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: children, parenting
In the Evangelical tribe I grew up in, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman provided the idiom to talk about how each us receive and give love. Because of our unique personalities and family of origin, we each have modes of expressing love which is particularly meaningful to us. For some it words of affirmation. Others feel particularly loved when you spend quality time with them. Giving and receiving gifts is another ‘love language.’ Others feel loved through physical touch or acts of servic ...more
The five love languages has had much acclaim for the use in parenting children as well in the aiding of marriages. I found the book slightly interesting, mildly helpful, and downright obvious in spots. While understanding the different love languages a person can have: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch, can move you worlds closer to getting along with someone, it doesn't necessarily always bridge the gap of personality comprehension. For chi ...more
Feb 27, 2017 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
If you enjoy being guilt tripped over not doing enough as a mother than this is the book for you! The answer to every problem is to love your children more. Give up more of your free time and responsibilities and simply love your children. All your problems will disappear! If you have a job, as a mother, or are a father than travels (because women don't travel for work), then you are certain to create children who deal drugs. So, give up that day job and start loving your children today! (That i ...more
Jan 10, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audible, 5-stars
**Update 10/19** - Still love the concepts in this book. Just finished listening to it. Applied what I re-learned to a child I’ve had a hard time lately and the change in our home!! Feeling grateful for this.

I wish I had read this book a lot sooner in my parenting journey. Perhaps it's because I am lacking in so many ways as a mom, but I had so many light bulbs going off while reading this gem. Like always, I will take some advice and leave some advice, but what I will "leave" will be little! I'
Reem Hajjar
Sep 30, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
children is a gift from god..
this book will teach you how to know your children needs. every child or every person has a different way of feeling love. get to know your child love language. we have to use all the languages with our children but focus on the one they feel loved through.
my kareem feels it from quality time. but tooti through physical touch.
to be honest this book will change your behavior. we need to discipline our children but with LOVE.
LOVE your children and stop abusing them
May 20, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I really liked this book. The theory is that there are 5 love languages and by figuring out your child's primary love language, you can figure out how they best perceive and feel love. Without even reading the descriptions, I could easily figure out my oldest son's primary love language. The books says if your child is under 5, you probably won't be able to tell their primary language yet so I am interested in trying to pick up the clues as the twins get older.
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Married more than 45 years to Karolyn, Dr. Gary Chapman is just the man to turn to for help on improving or healing our most important relationships. His own life experiences, plus over forty years of pastoring and marriage counseling, led him to publish his first book in the Love Language series, The 5 Love Languages®: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Millions of readers credit t ...more

Other books in the series

5 Love Languages (10 books)
  • The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
  • The Five Love Languages for Singles
  • The Five Love Languages of Teenagers
  • The Five Love Languages: Men's Edition: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
  • The Love Languages of God: How to Feel and Reflect Divine Love
  • Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade: The 5 Love Languages and the Alzheimer's Journey
  • A Teen's Guide to the 5 Love Languages: How to Understand Yourself and Improve All Your Relationships
  • Sharing Love Abundantly in Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities
  • Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages and Becoming Stepfamily Smart

Articles featuring this book

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." -Benjamin Spock Calling all parents who have ever found themselves wondering: Whe...
34 likes · 9 comments
“The best way to love your children is to love their mother [father].” That’s true. The quality of your marriage greatly affects the way you relate to your children—and the way they receive love. If your marriage is healthy—both partners treating each other with kindness, respect, and integrity—you and your spouse will feel and act as partners in parenting.” 5 likes
“It may surprise you that the primary lifetime threat to your child is his or her own anger.” 5 likes
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