Delusions of Grammar: The Worst of the Worst Bloopers and Blunders Ever

by Sharon Eliza Nichols

MORE missspellings! MORE badder grammar! MORE than 350 photos of laugh-out-loud funny signs from the creator of the smash-hit books (and Facebook groups) I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar and More Badder Grammar here together for the first time in one awesome bind-up.
Sharon Eliza Nichols pleases, thrills, horrifies, and amuses her audience with an all-new assortment of the most ungrammatical, outrageous, and ridiculous mistakes ever put into print. Featuring actual photos of actual signs in actual locations, these billboard blunders are sure to delight grammar groupies, punctuation sticklers, and pretty much anyone who can read.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction

288 pages, Paperback

Published January 17, 2017

Reviews

[karen]

sidesplitting, no?

why are books like this funny? or at least meant to be funny? sure, part of it is feeling superior: 'chortle, chortle. look at the way that person has gaffed.' but i learned the rules about apostrophe use a long time ago; so long ago that it's as natural to me as the rule about not touching a hot stove, and the "joke" of someone misplacing an apostrophe is one of diminishing returns and not enough to sustain an entire book. admittedly, it's a comfort and a vindication to see some of the more 'professional' examples. in this book, there is a verizon ad that misspells 'verizon' and a macy's sign with a misplaced apostrophe. and since we have all made mistakes at work, it's a relief to have proof that everyone makes mistakes and thankfully, most of ours are less visible. but the third reason is, for me, the most compelling. i enjoy books like this for the unexpected charm resulting from errors, particularly translation errors.





this book does not acknowledge the charm, just the error, and all possible joy is sucked out. the photos in this book were sent to the author as submissions to her facebook group "I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar," so her only job here is curating and providing a witty caption to run below each image. and like the person who misspelled 'verizon', she has not done her job well. the title of my review is "I Judge You When You Use Poor Humor," and this book suffers from two major flaws: her comments are not at all funny, and the examples chosen as targets are misplaced and redundant.

the not-funny is mostly tonal. this book, whether the example is a professionally-made sign or dashed-off bathroom graffiti, treats errors as a personal affront, and the captions are smug reactions. this isn't even an attempt to be humorous, it's just didactic snark:





and this - you can practically see the smirk accompanying it:



is it interesting? or are you just really pleased with yourself?

that sniffy tone carries throughout, and you may want to pass it off as a schoolmarmy persona adopted for the sake of the book, but if so, it's not a very successful persona, because it's an alienating tone that doesn't win the reader over to the side of the stuffy grammarian. you can be a curmudgeon, but in order to be one the reader treats with amused indulgence, you have to be funny. most of these are the equivalent of someone at a party telling an inappropriate joke and looking around for, nay - expecting, approval while everyone is just uncomfortably fidgeting with their canapés.



huh? huh?? nudge nudge elbow amiright?

sigh.

it's just too much of the same thing over and over.





oh, if only that were so. it is far from the last time.



i think it sparks my imagination and makes a little film play in my head of an office staffed entirely by watermelons and what their dress code might be. your comment sparked no such whimsy and made me cringe in embarrassment for you.

the ego is strong with this one. many instances of the royal we:





you know perfectly well they meant "parties," don't be a dick.

the condescension of addressing the imagined audience as "people"



and "kids"



distancing herself as an island of grammatical perfection against the unwashed masses.

and this:



no one has ever found anything 'highly amusing'. it's such a douchey phrase.

this is particularly douchey:



yes, it's redundant. it's as redundant as saying 'isbn number', but it's one of those linguistic "errors" accepted in casual use, like referring to a photocopier as a xerox machine, even if that is inaccurate.

she also demonstrates an inability to appreciate the humor of others:



or to play nice with like-minded individuals:



it's just tedious. and ungrateful.



i'm always going to support a sign that warns about the horrors of birds, no matter where they shove that apostrophe.

however, she's right about one thing:



because pride goeth before a fall and glass houses and all that:



were i a comedienne on her level, i would say something like: "'acknowledgments' has a 'd' in it, and 'd' is for 'duhhhhh.'"

the second problem is the targets chosen and her inability/unwillingness to distinguish between actual ignorance of grammatical rules and simple careless typos.

it's one thing when a major company puts out an ad with an inadvertent typo, something that has gone through editorial review. (like the "acknowledgments" section of your book, for example, which went through TWO printings unnoticed) but when you're red-penning teen graffiti:







hastily scrawled signs:



shit mass produced in some sweatshop by children who likely do not speak the language:



the rantings of mentally unbalanced sign-toting street people:



and assorted protesters. (p.s. - hand-written signs do not come equipped with spell check. dude.)



it seems more like bullying than a public service.



i wish you could experience joy.

also, this is flat-out wrong



if we're talking about real gang members (and not people likely to wear little airbrushed hats), their ability to spell is not really a factor in their ability to intimidate. the pen is not actually mightier than the sword (or the AK) and if you look at the lyrics of any gangsta rap song, it's clear they're prone to certain liberties with orthography.

but back to bullying. there are many instances where it's clear that the mistake is made by someone whose first language is not english:



or are delightful idiosyncrasies of translation :





i will not enjoy you. because not only are you unfunny, you're a little extreme.



she is endorsing prison time for leaving off an "e" in a word.

and advocating reproductive limits based on consumer choices:



and yet:



what, NOW you are concerned with being PC? after targeting immigrants and the poor? and suggesting that people be jailed or neutered for typos? as someone who is spinally challenged, i declare this sign to be funnier than any of your jokes.

now, to lighten the mood from this dystopian totalitarian nightmare landscape, let's focus on some of the charming examples:



i think this one is an improvement. more evocative rarrrrrrr!!

and this one - how can you not be enthusiastic about all that cheese! even if it is extra. which it is. so noted.



or giggle at the potty humor:





or just basic humorous accidents:





unlike her, i would rather solve the mysteries of what these signs could possibly mean than to criticize their spelling:





i understand it's galling to see mistakes. i notice them all the time, and sometimes it's maddening. in fact, i once left a restaurant because they spelled 'blueberries' as two words. and you know how old i was? fourteen. and insufferable.

but again, while some of the examples are people who should know better and who are meant to be setting an example:





it's only funny when it's funny.



life's too short to be such a pompous twit. learn it.

also, FYI - i'm pretty sure this is the correct usage:



and i'm pretty sure this one is too, and is referring to the quiet half of the famous comedy/magician duo being available for all your banking needs. on saturdays.



because i prefer to see the world as a fun place, not a prison of your making.

***************************************************

i hate this book so much, i'm going to have to bring out my favorite gif as a placeholder until i can review it properly, because believe me - this is going to be a long, picture- and disgust-filled review.



this is the worst kind of smug teen-snark passing as humor, her abuse is directed at all the wrong targets, and worst of all, this is a case of "fool me twice," because this book is just a repackaging of I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar: A Collection of Egregious Errors, Disconcerting Bloopers, and Other Linguistic Slip-Ups and More Badder Grammar!: 150 All-New Bloopers, Blunders, and Reasons Its Hilarious When People Dont Check There Spelling and Grammer, which YES, is clearly indicated on the book, but i didn't notice that because i usually like books like these, and i was feeling grabby. HOWEVER, i'd already read I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar: A Collection of Egregious Errors, Disconcerting Bloopers, and Other Linguistic Slip-Ups and HATED it - review here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... (ironically enough, that review was written back when i was so lazy that not only didn't i use capital letters when typing, but i eschewed apostrophes as well, which made me a complete douchebag, and for that i apologize.)

full review to come, but for now, just flames.



come to my blog!

[Mayda]

There are some humorous signs in this collection, but others are not so funny. There are many examples of misused or missing apostrophes and quotation marks. Maybe too many. To, too, and two as well as there and their are also represented. My main complaint, repetition aside, is that several of the pictures have signs that are too small or too blurry to read.

[Jeanne]

When you tell the same joke over and over it isn't funny anymore, especially when illustrated with out of focus pictures.

[Elizabeth]

This was mostly just okay. It’s a collection of two books together, and I read them together, but the first one seems much stronger than the second.

The premise of the first one is that it is a funny collection of pictures showcasing grammar mistakes. Nichols included prominent, professional signage that made unfortunate errors with punctuation, phrasing, or spelling. These are mistakes should not have happened. Pro tip: If you ever erect a giant sign to advertise your freshly cut peonies, make sure that the sign actually says “Peonies.” The one included here advertises the sale of freshly cut body parts that also begin with “P.” Everyone makes mistakes, and this collection seems to be meant in good fun: a warm reminder that everyone is in the same leaky grammar boat from time to time.

The second book has a similar premise, but the warmth is noticeably lacking. There is a fine line between gentle humor and meanspiritedness, and some parts of the second book seem cruel. For one thing, there are many examples taken not from professionally printed items or public signage, but from online comments, hand-scrawled messages written hastily on torn-off notebook paper, and even graffiti. Many of these aren’t even grammar errors, but simple typos. (So a notice on a school bulletin board has a typo. So what?) The worst of it, I think, was the inclusion of a comment from an ESL student who was looking for books on English grammar and not finding any. She posted online a very eloquent paragraph explaining her struggles to learn English and her desire for a grammar book, only to have the screenshot of the comment printed here, so that people can make fun of her one grammar error. Did they miss the whole part where she’s trying to study grammar? She’s already stated that she wants to study English and doesn’t have access to enough resources. Why are they attacking her for something that she’s obviously already concerned about? That’s just cruel. In addition, many of the pictures are too small and blurry to read clearly, and that also inhibits enjoyment. Finally, my inner English major was starting to get irritated at the author’s grammar mistakes. That is, I was irritated at the mistakes she made in her decisions to criticize perfect grammar. Many of the “errors” belittled here are not errors at all, but correct formal grammar. I’m amazed that some of this was included here, since a perusal of any style guide (or even a dictionary) would have vindicated many of the people who are here mocked.

On the whole, the collection is decent. There are some nice reminders that even the best of us make mistakes, and we’re all human. I mean, if a Verizon advertisement can misspell the name of its own company, then what hope is there for the rest of us? Surely I should be grateful for the common foibles that connect us all. Better still, some of the commentary is pure snarky gold. But there are some definite flaws here as well. A mixed bag.

[Harris]

This book is a compilation* of unfunny, crowdsourced bottom of the barrel mean spirited online snark, the worst example of someone’s boring mid-2000s blog feed somehow being published as a print book.

We all encounter funny typos, turns of phrase, or just incomprehensible weirdness in posted notices, signs, or advertisements in our daily lives, as we traverse a city, the open road, or the web. The sort of stuff we might have a chuckle at and maybe take a hasty picture of on our phones to share with friends or maybe post on social media. Perhaps, though, that stuff should stay there.

As other reviewers have covered, basically, it’s the same bland apostrophe joke told over and over again, occasionally without the joke. A few of the user submitted photos themselves are humorous, but most, cramped and blurry, don’t look especially good on the page. None are helped by the scolding tone of the commentary.

*This is a collection of the author’s two previous volumes in the series, so if you’ve happened to have read either of them, there’s nothing new here.

[Kate]

Claw don’t move foreward nor backward.

Being Tored will be unvalid.

If your still reading, you’r in the wrong place.

Everythings’s cheap!

Personnel watermelon

Hotdog availablhe.

Caution! “Shelf”

Contain’s almond’s

[Clayton Chase]

I picked this up while browsing the library and soon had to close it to stop drawing attention to my out-loud laughter. A collection of user submitted observations, clearly the sticklers have united!

[Kelly]

I'm confused...this was pretty much identical to "I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar."

[Judy Egnew Ness]

Made me laugh out loud!

[Shandra]

Many of the pictures were too small or too dark to be easily read.

[Brooke Tremblay]

This is just a silly coffee table book my best friend got me for Christmas. It’s a humorous curation of grammar mishaps. Some of the sections aren’t that funny, like sections about missing apostrophes or commonly misspelled words. But there were other sections where I was laughing so hard reading it that someone asked if I was okay. It’s probably only funny for grammar nerds in general.

[Melody]

Sometimes I have trouble seeing the error, if the signs are very wordy. Still, many are giggle-worthy.

[Allanna]

Funny and snarky.

[Sarah]

This is a short, funny read that any English nerd would appreciate.