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First published October 4, 2016
“Otis," I said.
"Shhh," he said. "I'm incognito. Call me...Otis."
"I'm not sure that's how incognito works, but okay."
“Mjolnir is always getting misplaced. I swear, Thor needs to have that hammer duct-taped to his face.”
// buddy reread with the gays! (tag later)
“Otis and his brother, Marvin, pulled the god’s chariot. They also provided Thor with a never-ending supply of goat meat. Each night, Thor killed and ate them for dinner. Each morning, Thor resurrected them. This is why you should go to college, kids—so when you grow up you do not have to take a job as a magical goat."
“I’d even had a mind-melting conversation with my cousin Annabeth about the Greek gods who hung out in New York and made her life difficult. Apparently North America was lousy with ancient gods. We had a full-blown infestation."
"I think it's time you met Percy."
"I wondered how Inge felt about being required to show her tail at all times. Was it a source of pride to show her identity , or did it feel like a punishment?"
"—I couldn’t always fight my friends’ battles. The best I could do was be there to heal their injuries."
"I will decide what is manly, unmanly, womanly, or unwomanly for me. Don’t make me kill you again."
“Etiquette tip: If you're looking for the right time to leave a party, when the host yells, "No one leaves here alive," that's your cue.”
“Sam’s body language looked pretty stiff. I was too far away to hear, but I imagined her conversation with Alex was something like:
Alex: Awkward, awkward.
Sam (nodding): Awkward, awkward, awkward.”
“I'd been chased by Valkyries. I'd been chased by elves with firearms. I'd been chased by dwarves with a tank. Now, lucky me, I got to be chased by giants with giant bowling balls.”
“We need our goats!” I yelled.
I waded through the crowd until I reached our chariot. I grabbed Otis’s face and pressed my forehead against his.
“Testing,” I whispered. “Is this goat on? Thor, can you hear me?”
“You have beautiful eyes,” Otis told me.”
Thor announced his well-reasoned conclusion. "We must kill them all !"
Blitz raised his hand. 'Ah, Mr Thor, even if we could get you close enough to Thrym, killing him wouldn't help. He's the only one to who knows exactly where the hammer is.'
'So we torture him for the information and then kill him! Then I will retrieve the hammer myself!"
Alex muttered, 'Nice guys.'
'Sir', Sam said, 'even if Thrym told you exactly where the hammer was, how would you get it back from eight miles under the Earth?'
'I would break through the Earth! With my hammer!'
We waited for Thor's mental gears to run.
'Oh,' said the god. 'I see the problem. Curses!'
'The girl is right', Vidar signed. Time is wasting. “Listen to brave Vidar, girl,” said Thor. “Loki’s capture can wait for another day. Right now we should be celebrating the return of my hammer!” That’s not what I said, Vidar signed.”
“THIS IS WHY I HATE FAMILY REUNIONS. You always have to face that one uncle you don’t want to see—you know, the one who pops out of a nutshell and demands a sword.”
Annabeth smiled. “I don’t know the ocean very well, but my boyfriend does. I think it’s time you met Percy.”