What do you think?
Bernadette Peters Hates Me: True Tales from a Delusional Man
When something embarrassing happens to you, what is the first thing you do? Look around to see if anyone else saw you? Not Keith Stewart. Instead, he writes it all down and shares it with the world. Join in on the fun as Keith shares his Hysterical stories that include ripping down gas pumps, fighting with a bird trapped inside a grocery store, and confronting the one and only Bernadette Peters. After reading the hilarious memoir of this klutzy, southern man, you will feel better about your own humiliating moments, and instantly feel like you have gained a new best friend.
138 pages, Paperback
First published March 9, 2016
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
March 14, 2016
This is one of the funniest books I have ever read. And it's non-fiction! Who would think that an MBA/accountant could have these experiences, but he did! Stewart's writing is crisp and he has a way of putting you in the middle of the action. Wonderful!
March 15, 2016
I received an ARC of this book, and was so happy I read it. I literally laughed out loud at some point in every single essay! I would highly recommend this book for anyone looking to relieve some stress and have some fun.
March 19, 2016
I laughed, I cried I saw myself in so many of these stories and now I know that I am not alone. I would recommend this collection to all my friends who need to invite a little brightness into their day.
April 8, 2016
Keith Stewart is a fabulous storyteller.
Yes, he is also funny. Yes, he can laugh at himself like no other. And yes, you will laugh right along with him.
But the thing I really want to reiterate is that Keith Stewart is a fabulous storyteller. This is what most struck me about this book.
Stewart's self-deprecation (I won't tell you what he calls it) starts in the introduction, with a little snippet about how this book is not meant to be the next great literary masterpiece. He points out (half-apologetically) that though this book may not be profound in the way of some literary works, humor itself is a universal truth. I could not agree more. And in that sense, this book is as true as it gets, because you will laugh your butt off as soon as you start reading it.
But the other truth here is that Keith Stewart is a masterful storyteller. I don't just mean he can spin a yarn and make you laugh (which he can), I mean he has a way with words that goes beyond the casual funny anecdote. If you have heard him tell any of these stories in person, you know his delivery is stealth. At times I have tried to relay his stories to others - always with little success, and usually ending with the disclaimer "Well, you just have to hear HIM tell it." The good news is that this also translates well to the page.
Part of the art of storytelling is holding the interest of listeners or readers without tricking them into it in any way. We all have that one friend who loves to tell stories, and can delight listeners with embellished versions of stories we have heard 100 times, but who grows the story or exaggerates details whenever people's attention starts to slip away. That effect - which seems almost like a panic to get back the attention of an audience - compromises the truth of the story, and therefore the trust of the audience. It is an effect I am happy to say is NOT present in this book. You see, when Keith Stewart tells a story, you do not have to be tricked into listening. You WANT to listen. And Keith Stewart (the person) does not demand your attention. The stories do that on their own. Any embellishment you may find in his writing (and there is plenty) is of the variety that embellishes details to give a better understanding of the story from the teller's perspective - not to make the events look bigger than they were, but to explain why they had the effect they had at the time. This type of embellishment is more subtle, and far more effective, as it does not break trust or get in the way of the truth. This is important.
Oh, and did I mention funny? Because it. Is. FUNNY. No two ways about that. If you do not laugh your everlovin ass off, you might be made of stone.
I enjoyed this book immensely, and I highly recommend it to anyone made of flesh and bone.
Yes, he is also funny. Yes, he can laugh at himself like no other. And yes, you will laugh right along with him.
But the thing I really want to reiterate is that Keith Stewart is a fabulous storyteller. This is what most struck me about this book.
Stewart's self-deprecation (I won't tell you what he calls it) starts in the introduction, with a little snippet about how this book is not meant to be the next great literary masterpiece. He points out (half-apologetically) that though this book may not be profound in the way of some literary works, humor itself is a universal truth. I could not agree more. And in that sense, this book is as true as it gets, because you will laugh your butt off as soon as you start reading it.
But the other truth here is that Keith Stewart is a masterful storyteller. I don't just mean he can spin a yarn and make you laugh (which he can), I mean he has a way with words that goes beyond the casual funny anecdote. If you have heard him tell any of these stories in person, you know his delivery is stealth. At times I have tried to relay his stories to others - always with little success, and usually ending with the disclaimer "Well, you just have to hear HIM tell it." The good news is that this also translates well to the page.
Part of the art of storytelling is holding the interest of listeners or readers without tricking them into it in any way. We all have that one friend who loves to tell stories, and can delight listeners with embellished versions of stories we have heard 100 times, but who grows the story or exaggerates details whenever people's attention starts to slip away. That effect - which seems almost like a panic to get back the attention of an audience - compromises the truth of the story, and therefore the trust of the audience. It is an effect I am happy to say is NOT present in this book. You see, when Keith Stewart tells a story, you do not have to be tricked into listening. You WANT to listen. And Keith Stewart (the person) does not demand your attention. The stories do that on their own. Any embellishment you may find in his writing (and there is plenty) is of the variety that embellishes details to give a better understanding of the story from the teller's perspective - not to make the events look bigger than they were, but to explain why they had the effect they had at the time. This type of embellishment is more subtle, and far more effective, as it does not break trust or get in the way of the truth. This is important.
Oh, and did I mention funny? Because it. Is. FUNNY. No two ways about that. If you do not laugh your everlovin ass off, you might be made of stone.
I enjoyed this book immensely, and I highly recommend it to anyone made of flesh and bone.
June 6, 2016
I could tell you why Bernadette Peters hates him but he can tell the story so much better than I could. This is a book packed full of funny stories. We could all use a little laughter and lightheartedness in our lives.
May 1, 2016
Keith Stewart is one of the funniest people to ever live by the looks of the short essays in his book! He had me laughing so hard I cried many times. I love that he can laugh at himself, which is such a great quality. Not many people would tell on themselves like Stewart does, nor would they with such humor. You should definitely read this book. A cool thing is that the essays are pretty short, so perfect for a short read between things or waiting at the doctor's office, at the DMV, etc. I'm reading it straight through, but I can see the benefit for that, definitely! He is funny as hell and had me in stitches throughout the whole book. Don't miss this book! Funny, funny, funny!
February 27, 2017
A really fun book, if a bit predictable at times. I yelped out loud with laughter several times during the book. I absolutely loved the title story and thoroughly enjoyed other little self-deprecating tales such as "The Future is so Bright, I gotta wear shades" and "How to Self-Administer your own stroke" about the rigors of hot yoga.
I would like to meet Keith.
This book also leaves you with a strong sense of place. Keith paints a picture of his Kentucky home very well.
I would like to meet Keith.
This book also leaves you with a strong sense of place. Keith paints a picture of his Kentucky home very well.
April 10, 2016
The book is truly hilarious. The only question I had, after reading Keith's account of his adventures in daily life, is-how do I worm my way into his entourage???
June 10, 2016
The last time I laughed out loud this much was reading Thurber on the New York subway. This time only my husband was there to wrinkle his forehead. Great job, Keith!
February 8, 2017
In this collection of sweetly silly tales of everyday mishaps and encounters, Keith Stewart delivers giggles and a few gasps. The stories are honest, self-effacing and a fun peek into someone else's life and thoughts. Each story is just a few pages long, which is great for reading while waiting in line, on your lunch break or when your attention span is lacking. If you like David Sedaris, check out this book. Also, I love the cover art!
March 14, 2016
Keith Stewart's life is one hilarious accident after another. These "true tales from a delusional man" made me laugh out loud and often. A must read.
March 4, 2017
Big hearted and hilarious. This book is therapeutic. The only thing funnier than reading it, is hearing the author read it. Will definitely be on the look out for more from this author.
September 12, 2017
These stories are HILARIOUS! Fun book to keep on your shelf & share with friends.
August 10, 2026
This was an interesting read and fairly funny. I have trouble with comedy but this one made me laugh in a few of the vignettes. It's great for an independent author. I have read some that were doozies.
May 3, 2023
Such a fun read!
May 5, 2020
It is guaranteed that you will laugh out loud throughout this entire book! Keith Stewart has the gift of telling his life stories. This is a quick read that just makes you feel good.
January 29, 2019
I found this book by searching for something funny to read when I was feeling a little down. I was happy to discover this book of stories by a fellow CPA who gets himself in all sorts of hilarious situations and is able to laugh about them after the fact!
May 15, 2016
My ver funny friend, Keith Stewart, with a masterclass in self deprecating humor. Bravo!
March 12, 2020
I loved it! I laughed from beginning to end. Even in my saddest this book made me smile and giggle. Excellent. I recommend this book to anyone.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews