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How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7
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How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7

4.37  ·  Rating details ·  2,435 ratings  ·  382 reviews
A must-have resource for anyone who lives or works with young kids, with an introduction by Adele Faber, coauthor of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, the international mega-bestseller The Boston Globe dubbed “The Parenting Bible.”

For over thirty-five years, parents have turned to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Hardcover, 385 pages
Published January 10th 2017 by Scribner
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Rosa DA Chapter 3 deals with sibling rivalry. But to be honest, I feel like the entire book has examples of siblings interacting with each other. Of the…moreChapter 3 deals with sibling rivalry. But to be honest, I feel like the entire book has examples of siblings interacting with each other. Of the things I remember at the top of my head, the book covers parents' speech comparing the children, what to do when each child keeps telling the parents what the sibling did bad expecting punishment, and how to deal with an older child that gets annoyed with the baby. I think you should check out this book, it might help you in areas that you were not thinking of at the beginning. (less)
Kimball I thought it was much more detailed. They have some of the same stories and many of the same principles but I think both are helpful to read…moreI thought it was much more detailed. They have some of the same stories and many of the same principles but I think both are helpful to read especially as repetition helps us remember things better.(less)

Community Reviews

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4.37  · 
Rating details
 ·  2,435 ratings  ·  382 reviews

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Oct 24, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2017
The basic idea is to acknowledge and validate your toddler's emotions, instead of correcting them, and what's great about this book is I started using its strategies at work and it's going amazing. So instead of saying "You didn't collect user requirements until the week before the due date so it's on your fuckin' ass when this project doesn't launch on time" - see how that sounds really blamey? That nimrod I work with probably felt defensive, right? Instead, I might say, "Boy, you're frustrated ...more
Sep 22, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
Before reading this book:

*3 y/o spills milk on the floor intentionally*
Me (pissed): "What are you DOING? We TOLD you to drink your milk at the table. Now look what happened. You made a mess! Go get a towel and clean it up!"
3 y/o: *nonchalantly walks out of the room*
-- 10 minutes of cajoling, threats and tears ensue... --

After reading this book:

*3 y/o spills milk on the floor intentionally*
Me (concerned voice): "Oh. There's milk on the floor."
3 y/o: *silently walks into kitchen, gets towel, start
Kaytee Cobb
Dec 14, 2016 rated it really liked it
Oh, man. This might be the most empowering parenting book I've read about the age and stage of parenting that I (and most of my friends) am currently in! This collection first gives you the information and tools (in part one), along with myriad examples of what those tools look like in action. And then, in part two, they dive into specific situations and examples and how to use those tools to deal with tough behaviors. The authors also acknowledge that parents get ANGRY sometimes, and sometimes ...more
Apr 18, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: adult
This book is a game-changer. It has forced me to stop, think and evaluate why I talk to kids (especially my own) the way I do and how it could be tweaked and made so much better and more effective. It's a dense read, but it's packed with many real-life examples and multiple different scenarios and synopses that while helpful, could also be glossed over. Most importantly, it is a powerful tool in communicating in general and not necessarily just with little kids. Because it's about assuming the p ...more
Apr 22, 2017 rated it it was amazing
So this book had good examples of how to actually implement things I've read in other books (Lansbury, et al) but with actual practical steps for implementation, and a real awareness that parenting little kids is damn hard and we there is no magic bullet that will make our kids into angels or give us the patience of saints- but that parenting in a respectful, gentle way can actually be done, with little kids, without me having a personality transplant.
Sep 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This was pretty excellent. The book is organized clearly, the writing is accessible and enjoyable, and the tone is not obnoxiously judgmental, which I've come across in some other parenting books. I actually feel like I'm walking away with useful tools and language to use with my 3 year old.
Oct 04, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Eveeet, çocuklar! Sizin için hazırım :D :D
Şaka bir yana fazlasıyla aydınlatıcı bir çeviri süreci oldu.
Sıkılırım sanıyordum, ama şaşırtıcı bir şekilde keyif aldım :)
Oct 16, 2017 rated it really liked it
This book was just the kick in the pants I needed. I feel like my parenting was slowly devolving and reading this gave me concrete strategies to implement that are in line with my values. I had read How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk a few years ago and loved it. I appreciate how this one focuses on the younger years, the depths of which I am currently muddling through. Highly recommend!
Anthony Keys
Feb 15, 2017 rated it liked it
I gave it three stars, even though some of the tips were really good and effective with my son. Unfortunately, there is no "right" way to parent and emotions do get involved when you are upset. The "no consequences" approach is still hard for this blue collar boy to digest, but I would recommend parsing out pieces from this book. Read it and take what you need when dealing with your kid.
Aug 08, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
Wszystkiego, co wiem o komunikacji (nie tylko z dziećmi) nauczyłam się z tej książki. I z jej poprzedniczek, których współautorką była matka Joanny - Adele Faber (czytałam i zachwycałam się nimi jeszcze jako nastolatka). "Jak mówić, żeby maluchy nas słuchały" jest ich świetną kontynuacją, skupiającą się na młodszych dzieciach.
Ale wszystko, co zawierają te poradniki, doskonale sprawdza się również przy porozumiewaniu się z ludźmi dorosłymi. Zaakceptuj i potwierdź czyjeś uczucia; nigdy nie neguj i
Feb 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: kids, audiobook, parenting
This was extremely useful - highly recommended for parents of small kids.

I found a lot of tips which seemed useful, and was often surprised by how smoothly they worked in real life. A few times after defusing annoying situations surprisingly easily, I turned around to my wife and pointed at myself with a smug look, like "check out the skills on this guy"!

Each section of the book tackles a different problem area, e.g. "food" (when kids refuse to eat etc) or "mornings" (how to get kids out of the
Feb 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I bought this book when my daughter turned 2 and just as the title implies, this book is literally a survival guide for life with kids, the book discusses several problems that any parent struggles with and more importantly it provides you with applicable tools and skills that you can actually use to increase compliance and have a harmonious relationship with your kids, what I love about this book most is that :
1) it gives many examples in each chapter for different situations and behaviors.
Jun 04, 2018 rated it really liked it
It is amazing how a bit of talking, some creativity and common sense can make a child do what you want without your blood pressure boiling over when there's an issue. My inspiration for reading this book was a Nextdoor post about a workshop based on it, but I wasn't about to pay the hundreds of dollars to attend it. I was like, let me check out the book at the library (for free) and see what this is all about. After reading this book, I can understand why people would pay money to attend the wor ...more
Jan 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This was, hands down, the best, most useful parenting book I have ever read. It was honest, empowering, and never did I feel the “Mom guilt” that often comes with other parenting books. I couldn’t stop talking about with my husband, and the tips and ideas are SO EASY to start putting into practice right away.

This may become my go-to gift for first time parents; it is on my own list of “books I checked out from the library but absolutely must now own” (which is a short list!).
Nov 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
This book is genius. I’m a much better parent and happier person because of it. I’m so happy I’ve read it while my daughter is just over 2. I need to buy copies for everyone who will ever have a 2 year old.
Harmony Petty
Aug 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I have been a kindergarten teacher for 10 years and have read a variety of books on early childhood, behavior, and classroom management. I really wish I had read this book sooner!

Now that I have a two-year-old, I was looking for some books to help me navigate some of the difficult parts of parenting a toddler. This book exceeded my expectations.

Part I lays out a myriad of tools and strategies for handling emotions, engaging cooperation, resolving conflict and praise and appreciation. Each chapte
May 16, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I have a four year old, who was three when I read this book, and man, was it necessary. They tell you about the “terrible twos”, but then they keep the biggest secret — THREE IS EVEN WORSE. Three year olds are tiny little terrorists, and I needed all the help I could get to negotiate my way through that year.

How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen gives you lots of simple techniques for communicating with your little kid, whether you’re trying to get them to do something, get them not to do somet
Apr 28, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Fantastic techniques and advice that are applicable in real world situations. The book is written with sympathy and humor and addresses a number of common issues. It also includes information about how to apply the techniques with children who have sensory issues or are otherwise not neurotypical. Great stuff!
Ryan Martinsen
Apr 22, 2018 rated it it was amazing
When I remember to use the strategies contained herein things go far more smoothly with the little ones. I will be coming back to this book again and again as a reference.
Jun 27, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Holy smokes. Such a good book...I took a lot of notes... More substantial review TK!
Christine S
Aug 23, 2017 rated it really liked it
Nothing unbelievably groundbreaking, but full of good reminders on how to talk at a level little kids will understand (and rationales for why).
Feb 07, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I definitely needed this refresher! I'd read and loved Liberated Parents, Liberated Children and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk before I actually had a kid, but I knew that I needed to revisit the tips now that I was a parent. Then I saw that there was a version for little kids (my son just turned 2), so I immediately requested a copy from the library without realizing that 1) this was a brand-new publication 2) co-authored not by the original authors, but by the ...more
Carmen Marie
Jul 18, 2018 rated it liked it
3.5 Stars

This is the first parenting book that I've read in years. After spending my early years of parenting dutifully reading parenting books, I realized that I was coming away with lots of conflicting and muddled advice. I remember the moment I revolted against more discipline books. I knew that I was going to have to carve out my own path knowing that raising children is more an art than a science. This book has some sage advice in the simple notion that we must show empathy and "acknowledge
Jessica Aitoro
Sep 12, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Must read for parents of demon childr---I mean toddlers.
Jannah (Cloud Child)
The full 5 stars.. I was contemplating taking a star down for several reasons however as an overall its worth the read and a definite keeper. I think it definitely did it's best to tailor to younger children whose brains and development levels were not quite yet at the level yet to reason always, and needed a little more creative thinking.

Let me get the niggles out of the way first:
+ I read this right after How to talk so Kids will listen & Listen so kids will talk and my edition had a very
Feb 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is the most useful parenting book I have read yet. Listening to her hilarious examples of bad responses to conflicts (all of which I had recently used myself) made me laugh and cry all at the same time! I only realized how great her suggestions were when I, as an experiment, started to use her techniques. My whole day changed. My kids listened to me and I remained calm... mostly. I listened to it 3 times as an audiobook so I could start to incorporate some of the methods of communication an ...more
Sarah Obsesses over Books & Cookies
So when it became this daily thing where Lucy would start to do these compulsive aggressive things like run around throwing things and hitting her sister and me and just laughing and not at all responding to any direction I was either going to hold her down physically until she wore herself out or lock myself in the bathroom and read a book.
I'm a bibliophile.
Skeptical with any how to books in general, desperation motivated me to give this a try and it was the one book most recommended in parent
Feb 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I was drawn in from the very first chapter's examples of how parents often communicate with their children and thought, "Why yes, I do talk to my children in these ways, and no, it doesn't usually work to solve the issue at hand." I devoured the remainder which reinforced some concepts that I was familiar with and gave me some fresh techniques to use. I appreciated all of the real life parent examples thoughout the book and the section that applied the tools to specific situations, like eating o ...more
Jun 29, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Parenting is daunting, i have to give you that. I’ve read a little of the original material and thought it was brilliant, but what i really need is the little kids version for toddlers.

the tools mentioned in this book really need honing continuously and scenarios differ each time, but i find them useful. A prerequisite (at least for me) is that you need to maintain a certain level of calm and quick thinking to really be able to use them skillfully, and in a fit of anger sometimes i could barely
Hannah Curran
Feb 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing
So easy to read! I normally get bored and can’t finish nonfiction books, no matter how badly I want to learn the information. This book had such an easy-to-read format with a short section about the chapter followed by lots of anecdotes giving real life examples. And at the end of each chapter is an outline summarizing the main points so you can copy it and hang it where you can easily see it during the day. I copied and printed the summary about punching/hitting since that’s the reason I went a ...more
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“Study after study has found that young children who are not constantly ordered around are much more likely to cooperate with simple requests from a parent—for example, cleaning up toys when asked—than children who are micromanaged and controlled much of the time.” 2 likes
“As for logical consequences, the "logic" is highly debatable. If you continually arrive late for my workshop, despite my warning that lateness is unacceptable, I may find it "logical" to lock you out of my classroom. Or perhaps it would be more "logical" to keep you locked in after class for the same number of minutes you were late. Or maybe my "logic" demands that you miss out on the snacks. As you may be starting to suspect, these are not true exercises in logic. They're really more of a free association, where we try to think of a way to make the wrongdoer suffer. We hope that the suffering will motivate the offender to do better in the future.” 1 likes
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