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How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7
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How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7

4.39  ·  Rating details ·  8,515 ratings  ·  1,024 reviews
A must-have resource for anyone who lives or works with young kids, with an introduction by Adele Faber, coauthor of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, the international mega-bestseller The Boston Globe dubbed “The Parenting Bible.”

For over thirty-five years, parents have turned to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk for its
Hardcover, 385 pages
Published January 10th 2017 by Scribner
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Anna Schubert I would say they are extremely similar, but this book is less 80's-feeling, and also more geared to younger kids (as the title would suggest). You pro…moreI would say they are extremely similar, but this book is less 80's-feeling, and also more geared to younger kids (as the title would suggest). You probably don't need to read both, since most of the tools are the same. I'd slightly recommend this one over HTTSKWLALSKWT (you're right, this abbreviation is ridiculous! =D), though.(less)
Rosa DA Chapter 3 deals with sibling rivalry. But to be honest, I feel like the entire book has examples of siblings interacting with each other. Of the thing…moreChapter 3 deals with sibling rivalry. But to be honest, I feel like the entire book has examples of siblings interacting with each other. Of the things I remember at the top of my head, the book covers parents' speech comparing the children, what to do when each child keeps telling the parents what the sibling did bad expecting punishment, and how to deal with an older child that gets annoyed with the baby. I think you should check out this book, it might help you in areas that you were not thinking of at the beginning. (less)

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Oct 24, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2017
The basic idea is to acknowledge and validate your toddler's emotions, instead of correcting them, and what's great about this book is I started using its strategies at work and it's going amazing. So instead of saying "You didn't collect user requirements until the week before the due date so it's on your fuckin' ass when this project doesn't launch on time" - see how that sounds really blamey? That nimrod I work with probably felt defensive, right? Instead, I might say, "Boy, you're frustrated ...more
Sep 22, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
Before reading this book:

*3 y/o spills milk on the floor intentionally*
Me (pissed): "What are you DOING? We TOLD you to drink your milk at the table. Now look what happened. You made a mess! Go get a towel and clean it up!"
3 y/o: *nonchalantly walks out of the room*
-- 10 minutes of cajoling, threats and tears ensue... --

After reading this book:

*3 y/o spills milk on the floor intentionally*
Me (concerned voice): "Oh. There's milk on the floor."
3 y/o: *silently walks into kitchen, gets towel, start
Kaytee Cobb
Dec 14, 2016 rated it really liked it
Oh, man. This might be the most empowering parenting book I've read about the age and stage of parenting that I (and most of my friends) am currently in! This collection first gives you the information and tools (in part one), along with myriad examples of what those tools look like in action. And then, in part two, they dive into specific situations and examples and how to use those tools to deal with tough behaviors. The authors also acknowledge that parents get ANGRY sometimes, and sometimes ...more
May 28, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I really DON'T APPRECIATE being shown so reasonably how much of what I thought I knew is actually wrong. I am also VERY ANNOYED to find some of the methods this book teaches working IMMEDIATELY when I tried them. Five stars. ...more
Courtney Squire
May 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I WAS BLIND, BUT NOW I SEE!! This book has changed EVERYTHING! Before reading this book, I thought I was a good parent, and maybe I was. But I don’t want to be just a “good” parent. I want to be an amazing one. Ever since picking up this book I feel like my eyes have been opened and my perspective on parenting has completely changed for the better.

This book really is a survival guide. I feel like I can now thrive in life with my child, whereas before this book, it was all just a big struggle.

Feb 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobook, parenting, kids
This was extremely useful - highly recommended for parents of small kids.

I found a lot of tips which seemed useful, and was often surprised by how smoothly they worked in real life. A few times after defusing annoying situations surprisingly easily, I turned around to my wife and pointed at myself with a smug look, like "check out the skills on this guy"!

Each section of the book tackles a different problem area, e.g. "food" (when kids refuse to eat etc) or "mornings" (how to get kids out of the
Apr 18, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: adult
This book is a game-changer. It has forced me to stop, think and evaluate why I talk to kids (especially my own) the way I do and how it could be tweaked and made so much better and more effective. It's a dense read, but it's packed with many real-life examples and multiple different scenarios and synopses that while helpful, could also be glossed over. Most importantly, it is a powerful tool in communicating in general and not necessarily just with little kids. Because it's about assuming the p ...more
Apr 22, 2017 rated it it was amazing
So this book had good examples of how to actually implement things I've read in other books (Lansbury, et al) but with actual practical steps for implementation, and a real awareness that parenting little kids is damn hard and we there is no magic bullet that will make our kids into angels or give us the patience of saints- but that parenting in a respectful, gentle way can actually be done, with little kids, without me having a personality transplant. ...more
Anthony Keys
Feb 15, 2017 rated it liked it
I gave it three stars, even though some of the tips were really good and effective with my son. Unfortunately, there is no "right" way to parent and emotions do get involved when you are upset. The "no consequences" approach is still hard for this blue collar boy to digest, but I would recommend parsing out pieces from this book. Read it and take what you need when dealing with your kid. ...more
Kristen McBee
Feb 26, 2021 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2021-prose, parenting
Solid examples of ways to connect with your kids. I suggest starting with “No Drama Discipline” to build your foundation and for an abuse-free perspective (to clarify: this book does not advocate for spanking, but I don’t think they were emphatic enough about saying that hitting your children is not okay).
Sep 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This was pretty excellent. The book is organized clearly, the writing is accessible and enjoyable, and the tone is not obnoxiously judgmental, which I've come across in some other parenting books. I actually feel like I'm walking away with useful tools and language to use with my 3 year old. ...more
Dec 31, 2020 rated it really liked it
Finished my 20th book in the nick of time!!!! Great book with tools on how to handle toddlers - will they work with Char? Only time will tell.... 😬
Feb 27, 2018 rated it liked it
I found the book to be redundant (lots of examples given, and advice was repeated).

I did enjoy the prevailing message: “listen to and acknowledge your children’s feelings”! The book allowed me to shift my perspective outside of myself... why won’t my children listen to me, why are they acting this way, etc.... and see their view of the world, how they don’t have the language to express themselves, how they have trouble remembering my requests, etc. it was a good reminder to be patient with them
Jan 17, 2020 rated it liked it
I've read about half of How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7, and have reached the point where it's time to shelf it for reference. It's a helpful book, but after reading so many "stories" of parental success, all written in the same voice ("To my surprise, it worked! And Little Johnny has loved broccoli ever since.") I just needed to give it a rest before I started irrationally hating the authors and parent characters.

The advice seems sounds, a
Oct 16, 2017 rated it really liked it
This book was just the kick in the pants I needed. I feel like my parenting was slowly devolving and reading this gave me concrete strategies to implement that are in line with my values. I had read How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk a few years ago and loved it. I appreciate how this one focuses on the younger years, the depths of which I am currently muddling through. Highly recommend!
Jannah Cloud Child
February 2019
Just reread this and I loved it again. I forgot how easy to read how straightforward it was with no unnecessary paragraphs to skim past and you can use the tips straight away. Everything that was there was concise and worthwhile to not skip. I'm not a huge non fiction reader and take ages to finish a nf book, constantly stopping and starting, no matter how good the subject or how well written it is. But this was just such an easy read, I kept coming back for more.

In now a parent to
Carmen Liffengren
Jul 18, 2018 rated it liked it
3.5 Stars

This is the first parenting book that I've read in years. After spending my early years of parenting dutifully reading parenting books, I realized that I was coming away with lots of conflicting and muddled advice. I remember the moment I revolted against more discipline books. I knew that I was going to have to carve out my own path knowing that raising children is more an art than a science. This book has some sage advice in the simple notion that we must show empathy and "acknowledge
Jun 04, 2018 rated it really liked it
It is amazing how a bit of talking, some creativity and common sense can make a child do what you want without your blood pressure boiling over when there's an issue. My inspiration for reading this book was a Nextdoor post about a workshop based on it, but I wasn't about to pay the hundreds of dollars to attend it. I was like, let me check out the book at the library (for free) and see what this is all about. After reading this book, I can understand why people would pay money to attend the wor ...more
Feb 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I bought this book when my daughter turned 2 and just as the title implies, this book is literally a survival guide for life with kids, the book discusses several problems that any parent struggles with and more importantly it provides you with applicable tools and skills that you can actually use to increase compliance and have a harmonious relationship with your kids, what I love about this book most is that :
1) it gives many examples in each chapter for different situations and behaviors.
Oct 22, 2020 rated it it was ok
This book is kind of a slog. All the advice is based totally on anecdotes. But once again I'm obviously not the target audience lol. (Which seems to be upper middle class whole foods parents) the advice boils down do "acknowledge their feelings" and "give them a choice! Do they want to take a bath with CUPS or BUBBLES" and I can only handle the phrase "that sounds FRUSTRATING!" so much. I feel like if you tried the "reflect their feelings and use the word frustrating a lot" method on anyone over ...more
Jan 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This was, hands down, the best, most useful parenting book I have ever read. It was honest, empowering, and never did I feel the “Mom guilt” that often comes with other parenting books. I couldn’t stop talking about with my husband, and the tips and ideas are SO EASY to start putting into practice right away.

This may become my go-to gift for first time parents; it is on my own list of “books I checked out from the library but absolutely must now own” (which is a short list!).
Excellent. Practical. Highly recommendable. It’s changed the way I talk to my child, with successful outcomes. And each chapter has a summary of strategies so it’s skimmable for busy parents and also a good reference material.

Update several months later: I talk about this book to anyone who will listen. It has been game changing for me.
Nov 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
This book is genius. I’m a much better parent and happier person because of it. I’m so happy I’ve read it while my daughter is just over 2. I need to buy copies for everyone who will ever have a 2 year old.
Aug 04, 2019 rated it really liked it
I read this book on and off for 2 years. I found it incredibly helpful but reading is my downtime so parenting books feel like a chore and this one was no exception.
Harmony Petty
Aug 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I have been a kindergarten teacher for 10 years and have read a variety of books on early childhood, behavior, and classroom management. I really wish I had read this book sooner!

Now that I have a two-year-old, I was looking for some books to help me navigate some of the difficult parts of parenting a toddler. This book exceeded my expectations.

Part I lays out a myriad of tools and strategies for handling emotions, engaging cooperation, resolving conflict and praise and appreciation. Each chapte
Mar 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: EVERYONE
If I could give this book 10 stars, I would do so. It is my new go-to choice for a baby shower gift, and I will be encouraging all my friends and family members who take care of young children to read it, too. This is the most useful, practical, life-changing parenting book I have ever read or heard about! (And I'm a huge fan of Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg, so this is really saying something.)

I'm a very concrete thinker m
May 05, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting, 2020
Incredibly useful and empowering parenting book. A lot of similar sentiment/strategy to its predecessor (How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk), but less 80s feeling and better examples for the younger kids. Totally resonated with our supposed parenting style, even though we definitely don't follow this all the time (though the authors keep it real and have a chapter on how we all blow it sometimes).

Basic idea is that all feelings are valid, but what we do with those feeli
May 16, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2017, parenting
I have a four year old, who was three when I read this book, and man, was it necessary. They tell you about the “terrible twos”, but then they keep the biggest secret — THREE IS EVEN WORSE. Three year olds are tiny little terrorists, and I needed all the help I could get to negotiate my way through that year.

How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen gives you lots of simple techniques for communicating with your little kid, whether you’re trying to get them to do something, get them not to do somet
Jan 14, 2021 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I had this book on the shelf and had flipped through it occasionally (pre-2020) with a careless sort of "huh that's interesting!". Coming up on month 11 of stumbling through the bleak and arid world of Pandemic Parenting, I binge read/re-read the entire thing in a wild and desperate panic one week recently and I'm extremely glad I did.

Reading it I had the frequent, mildly embarrassing experience of seeing a suggestion and thinking (sometimes speaking aloud) "Uh, yeah right but but what about THI
AJ Payne
Apr 05, 2020 rated it really liked it
How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk is one of my favorite parenting books for providing practical tips and examples for interacting with your kids. So, since all my kids are within the "little kid" range I decided to read this one.

It's been a few years since I read the precursor, but from what I remember this is a rehashing of most of the same principles with some specific changes that cater to little kids who don't have the interactive/reasoning skills that older kids h
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“As for logical consequences, the "logic" is highly debatable. If you continually arrive late for my workshop, despite my warning that lateness is unacceptable, I may find it "logical" to lock you out of my classroom. Or perhaps it would be more "logical" to keep you locked in after class for the same number of minutes you were late. Or maybe my "logic" demands that you miss out on the snacks. As you may be starting to suspect, these are not true exercises in logic. They're really more of a free association, where we try to think of a way to make the wrongdoer suffer. We hope that the suffering will motivate the offender to do better in the future.” 2 likes
“Studies find that kids who are punished are more likely to misbehave in the future. Punishment actually increases the undesired behavior.” 2 likes
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