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My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy
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My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy

3.36  ·  Rating details ·  266 ratings  ·  47 reviews
In this memoir of her 40 weeks and five days in hell, Andrea Askowitz takes an unflinching look at her pregnant life from struggling with hormones to poor body image to a self imposed exile from family to take us on a ride through the turbulence of single lesbian motherhood. Along the way we meet her liberal parents as they struggle with their daughter's choices, the lover ...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published April 28th 2008 by Cleis Press (first published January 1st 2008)
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Andrea is quite possibly the most irritating woman alive. I have never, ever born witness to someone more self-obsessed.

I picked up the book because I was intrigued by the notion of it and thought she could provide a unique take on the topic of pregnancy. I was so wrong. This was another "I have made the decision to become pregnant -- please bend over backward to benefit me!"

She spends about 65% of her time moping about how she is pregnant and alone. Now, I do not deny that it would be very hard
May 21, 2008 rated it did not like it
This book was SO BAD I actually threw it into the fire after about two chapters, which was all I could take of a character who was supposed to be SO OLD her eggs were in jeopardy of expiring but who still talks about high school every other paragraph.
Annabeth Leong
I couldn't put this book down, but I'm not sure if that means I liked it. Memoirists are often accused of being whiny, and I often find that accusation unfair. In this case, however, the author comes off as so unashamedly self-absorbed that I kept reading in part to understand what her friends see in her. I get the sense that the book is composed of journal entries edited for clarity but not social acceptability. The entire book has the tone of "things most people know better than to say out lou ...more
Sonya Feher
Nov 25, 2008 rated it it was ok
The title warned me that Askowitz is miserable and lonely, but I also found her unlikeable. Maybe because I was implicated in myriad of things and people she criticizes in the book, maybe because there's so little redeeming about her experience, the journal format doesn't go deep enough for me to feel like I really know or care about any of the characters, and it's exhausting to listen to this much whining. It's not that I expect everyone to love being pregnant but I want to be able to sympathiz ...more
Feb 13, 2010 rated it really liked it
I was glad to get the chance to read this book before I was knee-deep in pregnancy, as I saw in it the possibility to glimpse what pregnancy will be like. I was surprised, to be honest, at how different even the cursory-glance she gives the reader was from my own experience so far. I was a little concerned by some of the warnings (especially her discussion of the perineum), but I guess that was an important part of the story, in her experience.
The majority of this memoir is really her journey th
Andrea Askowitz is friggin hilarious. It was really cool to hear her read and her book confirmed my desire to never be pregnant ever.

Upon reading other people's reviews it seems that a lot of people didn't like the book because they felt Andrea was self-centered and obnoxious. But I think that's sort of the point. Hearing her read, it was really obvious that she meant the whole thing to be like "haha jesus i was such an asshole, that was such a shitty time, so the only way for me to deal with it
Funny, grumpy, poignant. I read it in one sitting and really appreciated this look at a pregnancy journey very different from my own. At the same time, it also reminded me of the vividness of my own experience, which has now blurred somewhat in the haze of parenting a toddler.

Edited to add: other reviewers have called Askowitz unlikeable. I can see that, yes. But I am also 100% fine with a pregnancy memoir that is self-absorbed and complainy. We have a lot of stories about the miracle of life an
Sep 02, 2008 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: other hormonal lesbians
I completely identified with this book. Of course I'm not pregnant, but my body seems to think I am and I seem to have all of the horrible hormonal feelings that this author encounters (got to go see that ob/gyn!). Oh yeah and the lesbian thing--so few real lesbians appearing in books lately, so nice to see. Thus, it was fun to read...and identify with. Of course I so totally did not identify with not having to work. I had to keep reminding myself that as difficult as things were...she didn't ha ...more
Dec 28, 2011 rated it liked it
I'm not sure how I feel about this book. This wasn't the most self-absorbed, unlikeable memoirist I've ever read; that honor goes to the author of Passing for Thin, and I had more in common with that author than I do with Askowitz.

Askowitz is a pretty funny writer. She definitely made me thankful that I'm not planning to ever get pregnant and that my love life is in order. I was kind of thrown to see her thanking her two nannies at the end; I agree with the other reviewers here and elsewhere who
Apr 12, 2012 rated it really liked it
Pregnancy is funny—when it happens to other people. For five years, Ms. Askowitz wanted to be one of those other people and tried like crazy to have a baby. Then she became pregnant and the terror started.

For anyone who has ever been pregnant, contemplated pregnancy, found themselves pregnant (as in “Holy sh**, how did THIS happen?!?”), this book plots the pitfalls, windfalls, pratfalls and just plain lunacy of being up the spout from the unique viewpoint of a lesbian (because with gay sex, ther
Apr 21, 2010 rated it liked it
This is the kind of book I wouldn't want to read before getting pregnant. It seemed like she had every problem (haemorrhoids, constipation, fibroids, etc) that was possible. She whinges about everything and expects so much from her friends and family (it felt to me like she ignored the people saying it was going to be very hard and then expected them to carry her through it) and I feel like I shouldn't like the author or the book. But there was enough humour to carry the book and it was good to ...more
Courtney Workman
Seriously - no stars. A complete waste of time and this was a book I selected for a beach read so the expectations were low as it was. Given the title I thought it would be a humorous look at pregnancy, but basically the book is about the annoying aspects of any pregnancy with the annoying "but I'm a lesbian" line thrown in all the time as if it entitles the author to some type of special pregnancy treatment - and in the absence of - license to complain more.
Oct 29, 2008 rated it really liked it
I'm not miserable, lonely, a lesbian or pregnant but I wanted to read this book. It was fun, it was educational, it was a good book and the cover caught my eye. The author was in Chicago not to long ago and I wanted to go but couldn't.lgbtALLY approved :)
Dec 27, 2008 rated it did not like it
Shelves: gay-lesbian, memoir
Gods, this woman was annoying. The only thing that made this book worthwhile was the half chapter devoted to how wonderful the baby is at the end.
May 18, 2017 rated it it was ok
It had a total blog-to-book feel, which I don't think it was. Which is to say, I enjoyed it well enough but wish I hadn't paid for it. Despite the author's sexuality (which is what attracted me to the book in the first place) it reads like one of a million mommy blogs, one you don't even know why you read anymore. The author is fairly entertaining and judging her is even more entertaining, but this book is probably only worth it if you find it in a little free library.
Jul 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I couldn’t put this book down. Funny, inspirational, raw, and real. I feel like I’m right beside her throughout her journey to motherhood and truly feel like we could knock a few back and be friends! LOVED!
Cordelia Eddy
Sep 23, 2018 rated it it was ok
Lesbian pregnancy memoirs are important and there should be more of them. Unfortunately, Andrea’s personality is so unlikeable that it is hard to sympathize with anything that she is going through.
Bettina Judd
Oct 07, 2018 rated it it was ok
It starts off well enough. You almost find the self-absorption of the narrator appropriate, self reflective. Until it isn't. Wow. Now I'm miserable.
Jun 11, 2011 rated it it was amazing
I want to give this four and a half stars. I can't really relate to the author in almost every way, but I appreciate her brutal honesty in everything. She describes the people around her as horrible, but she also describes herself this way too. She doesn't lean too far into the self-depreciation or build herself up as a victim of everyone else's faults, she just describes herself and her situation honestly, and it's exactly as the title says. It's a depressing read, which I don't normally like, ...more
Anaura Chen
Aug 30, 2015 rated it it was ok
Shelves: memoir
A compelling, well-written memoir. However, the narrator was soooo completely unlikeable. She came off as honest but entirely selfish and self-centred. I don't know how much of that was just emphasising her bad bits for the sake of being witty but she never seemed to change very much throughout her pregnancy, and after the birth, we only have her word that being a mother improved her outlook. The only sympathetic characters were some of her long-suffering friends and her ex-girlfriend.

(view spoi
Oct 13, 2008 rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: nobody
Recommended to Monica by: the East Bay Express?
Shelves: didn-t-finish
I wish there were a category for books I didn't finish because I didn't want to waste any more time. This would go there. I had read a review of this book in a local paper, and thought I'd check it out. I got a bit into her second trimester (she divides the book up this way), when I gave up. Though she had been compared on the cover blurb to David Sedaris, she really wasn't that funny, and, throughout the book, she constantly complains about looking fat. How utterly boring and regressive.
Oct 07, 2011 rated it really liked it
I read an interview of the author that promoted this book and I almost peed my pants with laughter as she described her surprise in learning about a mucus plug. I'm mesmerized by pregnancy in general, so I sought this book out at a time when it seemed like everyone I knew was pregnant or just had a baby. It was humorous at times, but not like I expected it to be. In juxtaposition with her interview and writing style, I thought the title was supposed to hyperbolic, but she really did mean miserab ...more
I wish that I had enjoyed this memoir more. Askowitz is brutally honest about her pregnancy, her ex-girlfriend, her friends, her family, and a friend who died of cancer. She really holds nothing back. And there were definitely some funny parts. But I found her tone very whiny - and I can't fault her for that, since the summary on the back actually uses the word "whiny" to describe the book - and very self-absorbed. I just couldn't relate. She did, however, seem to grow towards the end of the boo ...more
Jul 23, 2008 rated it liked it
I was really charmed by the author, and the book is all about the author, all the time. I know, I know, it's a memoir, but her tendency towards self-absorption irritated me throughout much of it. Then, in the third trimester, I started to fall in love with her and her journey. It's more about being single, and creating family and community, than it is about being a lesbian. And I looooved reading about the labor and birth. Really touching. I want to be friends with her.
Mar 15, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Very few books make me laugh out-loud, this one did. The author's style of writing is shameless, open and raw. You feel like you are truly being let into her life. Her experiences go beyond lesbianism or pregnancy. I am neither gay nor pregnant and I still sympathize with her. Pregnancy can apparently be a bitch, but the ending is happy. This book is a good read and well worth your time. I promise you will laugh and cringe at the same time. AWESOME!
Dec 20, 2009 rated it liked it
This would be an excellent book if the title were "My Miserable, Lonely, Single Pregnancy." I thought this was a good, frank account of pregnancy and birth from the perspective of a single woman. I was a bit disappointed because I expected more on how her sexuality affected her pregnancy and child-rearing, of which there was not much. If you would not mind the lack of that, you will like this book.
Becky Everhart
Apr 22, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: all women
Recommended to Becky by: early reviewer
I really enjoyed this book because I felt such a connection that can only come from a shared journey. While I am not a lesbian, I am the mother of two girls, so the bumpy road of pregnancy and all of the resulting negativity, pregnancy brain, and insecurity felt like transcriptions from the journal I wish I'd kept. That said, I highly recommend this book and reading more of Askowitz's work.
Aug 12, 2008 rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: insomniacs
Shelves: non-fiction
BLEAH. This author could not be more likeable if she tried. I bought the book because I saw snippits of it in cartoon form, and they were funny. The whole book should be cut down into three-panel manga-style drawings. Then it might work for her. It was tedious and whiny and I read it just to get through it and say it was over.
Jun 08, 2009 rated it it was amazing
If you are curious about how insemination and donors work, this funny, fast-read memoir's for you. I love how she paints the first trimester (and all of it) as basically hell, and, yet, I still nearly cried reading her birth story. Don't ask me so many questions - read this book, and then we'll talk.
Don't let the title scare you away. This is one funny book and you don't have to be a lesbian or ever been pregnant to enjoy it. I concur with reviewers who have compared Askowitz's writing to David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs. This book is also along the lines of Everybody Into the Pool by Beth Lisick and Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress by Susan Jane Gilman.
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Andrea Askowitz's first book is coming out in May, 2008 called My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy. Andrea is also an adjunct professor at FIU, and the producer of Lip Service, a true stories reading series at Books & Books in Miami." ...more

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