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Sh*t Politicians Say: The Funniest, Dumbest, Most Outrageous Things Ever Uttered by Our "Leaders"

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From the moment a Founding Father first asked for a vote, politicians have been saying dumb stuff. From George Washington to George Bush (both of them!) right on to present-day pundits like Donald Trump, Sarah Palin, and Hillary Clinton, political leaders can always be counted on to say funny, exasperating, and nonsensical things, often unintentionally. In Sh*t Politicians Say , Jesse Ventura shares the most entertaining and disturbing "thoughts" from his political brethren, including these winners:

"The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive."
--Donald Trump

"I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself."
--Ronald Reagan

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."
--Arnold Schwarzenegger

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle

"A zebra does not change its spots."
--Al Gore

"People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook. I've earned everything I've got."
--Richard Nixon

"Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war."
--former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." --George W. Bush

From bigoted statements to outright lies . . . flip-flopping to just TMI, Sh*t Politicians Say will provide readers with a welcome respite from the presidential campaigns.

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2016

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About the author

Jesse Ventura

28 books155 followers
Jesse Ventura is an American politician, actor, author, veteran, and former professional wrestler who served as the 38th Governor of Minnesota from 1999 to 2003.

Ventura served as a U.S. Navy Underwater Demolition Team member during the Vietnam War. He had a long tenure in the World Wrestling Federation, and was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2004.

In 1951, James George Janos, later known as Jesse "The Body" Ventura, was born in Minneapolis to George and Bernice Janos. Janos joined the U.S. Navy and spent time in the Vietnam War. He was briefly a bodyguard for the Rolling Stones. Janos developed a rigorous workout routine, and his newly muscular physique attracted the attention of famous Midwest wrestling promoter Bob Geigel. He began wrestling professionally in the mid-1970s and changed his name to the one that made him famous, Jesse "The Body" Ventura. He continued wrestling in the national spotlight until 1984, when emergency hospitalization due to blood clots in his lungs made him miss a title match against Hulk Hogan, and ended his professional wrestling career. He spent the next five years as a wrestling commentator for various television and radio programs. He acted in a handful of films, including several Arnold Schwarzenegger movies: "Predator" (1987), "The Running Man" (1987) and "Batman & Robin" (1997). In 1990, Ventura ran against and defeated the 18-year incumbent mayor of Brooklyn Park, Minn., serving until 1995. He campaigned for governor as a third-party candidate, and was one of the pioneering politicians who reached out to new voters via the Internet. He was elected as Minnesota governor in 1998, and proved to be a progressive politician, strongly backing gay rights, abortion rights, funding higher education, third-party politics, mass transit, property tax reform and opening trade relations with Cuba. Ventura Decided not to run for reelection because he wanted his family to regain their privacy.

The Freedom From Religion Foundation awarded the former governor the 1999 "Emperor Has No Clothes Award" for his "plain speaking" on religion and, as governor, for rejecting proposals to entangle state and church, including refusing to proclaim for Minnesota a "Day of Prayer." As governor, Ventura vetoed a bill that would have required students to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools. Ventura, on refusing to sign a National Day of Prayer in 1999, said: "I believe in the separation of church and state. We all have our own religious beliefs. There are people out there who are atheists, who don't believe at all. They are all citizens of Minnesota and I have to respect that" (Minnesota Independent, "Despite court decision, National Day of Prayer will endure in Minnesota," by Andy Birkey, April 20, 2010). In his 2009 book Don't Start the Revolution Without Me! (co-authored with Dick Russell), Ventura writes: "I was the only governor of all fifty who would not declare a National Day of Prayer. I took a lot of heat for that, and my response was very simple: Why do people need the government to tell them to pray? Pray all you want! Pray fifty times a day if you desire, it's not my business! . . . If I declare National Day of Prayer, then I've got to declare National No-Prayer Day for the atheists. They are American citizens too" (p. 58). "For me, the lines between church and state seem to become more blurred by the day. The First Amendment protects freedom of speech, thought — and religion. Nowhere is it mandated that we're the Christian States of America. . . . That's made us, I think, a stronger and more democratic nation. . . . It's abundantly clear that our Founding Fathers wanted to prevent our government from establishing a 'national church'" (p. 59).

More: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Ve...


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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
Profile Image for Driver.
558 reviews3 followers
May 12, 2021
I discovered Jesse Ventura in 2012 and he's about one step below Ron Paul for me, so pretty high up in my hierarchy of people I think the world needs more of. I do not agree with Ventura on every issue but this book was a refreshing compendium of "stupid is as stupid says."
I have even more respect for him due to the fact he included quotes of his that he now considers stupid or inaccurate at least. That takes guts and that shows integrity.

The author takes us on a joyride through the past few centuries, beginning with outrageous, unmeasured or outright stupid things the founding fathers stated. It's both amusing as much as sad to see that not much has changed; everyone dissed everyone else, only, the founding fathers did so with more style and a far more superior vocabulary than today's politicians.
Some quotes run diametrically opposed to what the politician had previously stated, even just months earlier. It boggles the mind.
Other quotes aren't so much stupid or outrageous but reflect the emotional and social remoteness of our so-called leaders to the average Mr. Joe guy. They are so far removed from real life and the challenges and pains (or joys) that come with it that they could just as well be aliens. And these are the people who "lead" us, create laws for us to abide by, punish, tax us. Sounds like a good plan.

Now, to be fair, some quotes made me wonder whether they had been taken out of context or were perhaps misinterpreted. For instance, I am not sure how serious JFK was when - upon being asked whether he knew he could easily be nominated as vice president - he responded, "Let's not talk about vice. I'm against vice in any form."
Profile Image for Drew.
506 reviews2 followers
September 24, 2019
This was an amusing collection of quotes, but pretty uneven. Some of the quotes were funny or witty or outrageous, but many were long, rambling, and mundane. The author added a few paragraphs at the beginning of each chapter, which were interesting, and a few words before or after some of the quotes, which were amusing, but in general, he didn't do much else. He was at his best when he offered some opinions or commentary.
Profile Image for Amy.
921 reviews45 followers
January 20, 2017
An interesting book of quotes from various political individuals, ranging from the funny and silly to the ones that make you wonder how the person thought ____ was alright to say.
Profile Image for Tomasz.
293 reviews13 followers
June 1, 2021
Repetitive, trite, banal. Apparently a few too many head shots connected.
1,098 reviews
November 9, 2016
I discovered Jesse Ventura’s on the weekend before the 2016 election. I was surprised that the book was available, given the craziness of this election. .

Most of the writing was done by others. Ventura (or someone) collected scores of quotations, mostly one liners.

Some are typical political jokes: Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT) at the end of a reelection campaign speaking on a radio show: “Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.”

Others capitalize on a single sentence out of context: Congressman John Boehner, “We spend more money on antacids than we do on politics.”

Some are examples of how to answer difficult questions: Sen. Ted Cruz in 2016, “If you want someone to grad a beer with, I may not be that guy. But if you want someone to drive you home, I’ll get the job done.”

Ventura reminds us that we all can make mistakes in public speaking: For example, Dan Quayle answered a reporter’s question with “One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is “to be prepared.”

Many of the examples reveal a darker side of humor: Michelle Bachman, speaking to The League of Women Voters in 2006: “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”

The book picks on Republicans far more often than Democrats. When a Democrat is quoted, we usually find statements that are funny and clever. For example, JFK is quoted as saying, “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”

The book is an easy read—especially if you’re watching the World Series. (Especially when it is a World Series in which two teams who have not won the Series in a long, long time). I may read the book again when the two baseball teams meet again in a World Series.
Profile Image for Roy Murry.
Author 9 books109 followers
September 9, 2016
Sh*t Politicians Say:


Reviewed by Author Roy Murry

Just this last year after many years of being apolitical, I looked, studied, and journalized my thoughts. From this evaluation, I wrote my white paper ‘Sixty Days To the End of The USA As We Know IT’; and during that time I read Jesse’s book.

In my published white paper, I used a few of his book’s quotes. I did this because they were within the scope of it.

Jesse’s SHIT POLITICIANS SAY is funny and informative. If you are interested in politics, this is a book to enjoy and use when in conversations with friends and families today.

Most of the quotes are forgotten but still apply to the present day’s elections in the USA. It seems that what goes around does come around again.

Example: “In America, you have a right to be stupid…” part of a John Kerry quote as secretary of state on his first trip in 2013. Can you believe it? It’s true he said it.

You’ll have to read this fascinating collection, which includes quotes from Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and presidents back to John Adams.

And, who can forget Bill Clinton’s …it depends on how you define is, is?
Profile Image for Dave Pirtle.
10 reviews
November 19, 2016
Collection of quotes ranging from witty to asinine. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll rage at the fact that these people make decisions affecting thousands of others. Jesse gives a bit of context but sometimes it still isn't clear what the person is taking about. Everyone is fair game - including himself, who gets his own chapter at the end to show that no one is immune and no one should be excused from saying Sh*t.
Profile Image for Rob.
75 reviews
September 7, 2016
This book is a collection of random quotes from politicians that Jesse Ventura found inane, funny or quizzical. I usually enjoy Jesse's books, but this one is simply a bunch of quotes. It needed more context and in some cases an explanation of why the quote was inane etc. Unless you are looking for a bunch of random quotes, give this one a pass.
Author 13 books8 followers
July 25, 2016
Usually I'm a fan but this book is just a cut and paste of quotes with little context. I'd like to hear more of Jesse's thoughts.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews

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