Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “How to Survive a Horror Movie (How to Survive)” as Want to Read:
How to Survive a Horror Movie (How to Survive)
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

How to Survive a Horror Movie

(How to Survive)

3.91  ·  Rating details ·  2,314 ratings  ·  383 reviews
Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover:

- How to Perform an Exorcism
- What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer
- How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff
Paperback, 175 pages
Published July 30th 2007 by Quirk Books (first published May 1st 2007)
More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about How to Survive a Horror Movie, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about How to Survive a Horror Movie

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30
Average rating 3.91  · 
Rating details
 ·  2,314 ratings  ·  383 reviews

More filters
Sort order
Start your review of How to Survive a Horror Movie (How to Survive)
Jan 13, 2020 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
ill save u all the trouble of reading this by giving u a tidbit of advice from within
if ur in a horror movie and battling satan, show him ur dick
i did not make that up
u r welc
Mike (the Paladin)
Mar 23, 2010 rated it really liked it
I saw this book reviewed here...and felt strangely compelled to reserve it at the library. Just after picking it up and reading the opening chapter on how to tell if you actually are trapped in a horror movie....I discovered a box of very old books I hadn't realized I even owned??? Upon finding them I went searching out shelf space for the dusty old volumes (oddly as soon as I went into the dark bedroom to shelve the books my cat screamed and leapt from one of the shadowy shelves right at me. ...more
I received this book for free from the publisher (Quirk Books) in exchange for an honest review.

This was such a fun read!

This book essentially makes fun of horror movies and all the cliches that come with them. For example, one of the things it says NOT to do is investigate strange things. The book explicitly states, Investigation = mutilation (pg. 36). Nothing good ever comes from checking something out. Thats just asking to be murdered.

The book also alludes to many famous horror movies, so
Feb 18, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: for-laughter
i had to read this when i saw that he has a jane austen/zombie book coming out soon. this was a good way to kill time until the release date. but now i am finally going to have to read pride and prejudice!! dammit!
Nov 11, 2016 rated it it was amazing
this book is HILARIOUS!!!!! if you love - or even just like- horror movies, you should own this book.
Sadie Hartmann Mother Horror
3 out of 5 Skulls!
January/February Issue of SCREAM Mag
Ive built a career on the blood of innocents, and I guess the guilts finally caught up with me.
-Wes Craven/Introduction to How to Survive a Horror Movie

I knew this book was going to be a fun read after briefly skimming the Table of Contents and seeing that the Foreward was titled, An Apology by Wes Craven. Another indication was that the entire book is filled with illustrations and who doesnt love pictures?!
This book has several intended
Ellen Gail
Ridiculously fun. A total treat for a horror movie nut like me!

I can still remember the first time a horror movie truly scared me. To clarify, I was not allowed to watch them. Didn't stop me.

I was twelve, and up way past my bedtime watching a late night rerun of a horror movie I'd never seen or even heard of before. I had a big box TV mounted to the wall in my bedroom. So in order to stealthily watch it, I had to plug my clunky headphones into said TV and stand on a chair because the headphones
Oct 03, 2019 rated it really liked it
Humorous, thorough (it covered about everything as if you suddenly somehow found yourself as an actor in one and weren't aware, haha) and a fairly quick read.
Sep 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Im a huge fan of horror movies and I loved P+P+Z, so I was intrigued by this.

I loved the sections and how it was chaptered out. Pretty much everything was filled with snark and I found myself laughing out loud in several places. The contrasting pages and illustrations made for something a little extra that I wasnt expecting.

Overall, it was a quick and fun read. Im sure Ill have it in my head for the next horror movie I see.

**Huge thanks to Quirk Books for providing the arc free of charge**
Horror movies and I? We go way back. I've been a voracious consumer since I was eight and my enthusiasm for the genre hasn't diminished with ... ahem ... maturity and wisdom. So yeah, it's been a lifelong love affair, one I don't hide, or feel I need to apologize for. Because even amidst the dreck, there exists some awesome cinematic gems, and amidst the classics there are film moments of hair-raising, heart-stopping, enviable genius.

The naysayers who decry: "how can you watch that garbage" are
Nov 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I love horror movies. Halloween is my favorite holiday. I relish thriller and suspense novels. I guess if I can dress up as, watch, or read about fictional horrific things, it puts the problems I encounter in life into a better perspective. Sort of like -- Hey I can handle a flat tire during a snow storm...piece of cake. At least I'm not that babysitter who got the call about the killer being inside the house. See? Perspective.

But, I do have to say, it is disappointing when a story is clocking
Nov 09, 2008 added it
Well, now I know that all I have to do to survive is whip my junk out since full-frontal male nudity does not exist in horror films. Cheers!
Aug 17, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
"I've always had a special place in my heart for horror movie characters."

How to Survive a Horror Movie is a guide for what to do if you find yourself unfortunately trapped in a horror movie. This ended up being more of a coffee table book than an actual book to read, but that's fine. I think it was a little too long for the coffee table book style, and I ended up losing interest somewhere along the way, and skimming. It was entertaining, but I'm not really sure that it offers anything new or
Oct 18, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: audio, nonfiction, humor
Finally - a self-help book that addresses my life!
Aug 14, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Such a fun book for everyone to read and/or listen to if they are into horror movies.
Feb 08, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: comedy, nonfiction
Look, I had just finished Come Tumbling Down, and the world we visit there is constantly compared to a horror movie, so I HAD to pick this one next, right? Right.

This is a quick, fun read if you have a few hours to fill. It's funny while you're reading it, but probably quite forgettable afterwards ("probably" because I only just finished it a few hours ago, only time will tell for sure) But I was definitely satisfied while it lasted.
Melissa Chung
Oct 20, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I received this book from Quirk Books for an honest review. I want to thank Quirk Books for sending this one my way. Super fun read.

How to Survive a Horror Movie was a blast to read. If you like fake self help books then you'll love this quirky read. It was so much fun.

How to review this book. Let's break it down by....looks, format, information, and overall read.

Looks- It's a cute little book. I enjoy chubby/squat books because they are obviously cute to look at, but they are also easy to hold.
Dec 13, 2014 rated it it was amazing
This was so awesome. As a horror movie fanatic, I really love this type of thing. It was really hilarious and poked fun at all the stupid things that happen in horror movies without denouncing the genre. It was packed with tons of references to various horror movies across the genre (from Halloween to Saw to Snakes on a Plane). And with a foreword by Wes Craven, you may be able to do no wrong. This book reminded me of Scream in many ways, but it really expanded and included various genres and ...more
actual rating: 3.5

This was funny, but also kind of exhausting? I generally feel this way about a comedy book when it's like every. single. sentence. is a reference to something so about halfway through you're just like god this feels like an extended Family Guy episode and there's a reason those are so short. The premise is entertaining and there were several good bits and I even laughed out loud at some points, but it also seemed to be kind of all over the place and written both as if you are
Lilyn G. | Sci-Fi & Scary |
This made me laugh so damned hard. A must have for horror fans.

Full review to come.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for review consideration.
May 28, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
The Good: The book starts off with a delightful prologue from Wes Craven, which is definitely worth the read. Seth Grahame-Smith is quickly becoming a household name, especially with a movie adaption of his Pride & Prejudice & Zombies coming out soon. How to Survive a Horror Movie contains a wealth of his tongue-in-cheek humor that fans will love. As an avid horror movie fan, I appreciated quite a bit of what the author was putting out there in this book. "What to Do If Your Corn Has ...more
Jan 27, 2009 rated it liked it
Shelves: humor
Perhaps capitalizing on the zombie survival trend, this book attempts to cover ALL manner of horror films and tells the reader how to tell if you're in one and what to do next.

I found it humorous enough, but it felt like the author was rather stretched for material. He seemed to bounce back and forth between two vantage points - one being that there actually is a Horrorverse and you are in it, the other being that you are just on a movie set. The advice for what to do in the actual Horrorverse
Audra (ouija.doodle.reads)
This book is a MUST-READ for horror fans!

I loved this little guidebook to the Terrorverse. Grahame-Smith is more than proficient in storytelling tropes when it comes to horror, so he is the perfect guide for a quippy, hilarious look at what makes horror movies tick.

I found myself laughing out loud as I read. The book is devised as seemingly endless lists like how to defeat survive a haunted house; how to stay awake for a week; 10 things to never, ever, ever put in a childs room; and how to tell
Jim Gorman
Mar 17, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was not too bad of a book. I real tongue in cheek on how to survive in a horror movie. It goes over such things as figuring out if you are in a horror movie, what type and how to survive. It's pretty funny if you are a fan of horror movies. I was able to identify so many that I have seen from the descriptions of the situation. It pretty much follows the logic that I shout at the screen right before someone gets killed.

My only issue with the book is that there are several breaks for other

There are two things you cant change in this world: a husband who lets the dishes pile up, and a haunted house. Both lead to nothing but frustration, fear, and, eventually, a gruesome death.

Full of excellent advice, only surpassed by it's humour.
Feb 29, 2016 rated it really liked it
Let's be honest here and admit that for the most part that horror films are predictable. Scream gave us some easy to follow rules to survive a horror movie and now we have a survival guide written by the guy who gave us Pride Prejudice And Zombies and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. How you view this book depends on your views of the horror genre. If you aren't a fan then you'll hate this (if you hate horror films why are you even reading this review?). It's quite a humorous book that doesn't ...more
Scott Rhee
Dec 03, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: horror, humor, nonfiction
Seth Grahame-Smith obviously spent a large part of his childhood (and much of his adulthood) watching horror movies. I can totally relate to this, as I have spent most of my life watching horror movies as well. Clearly, those of us who are not in jail or mental institutions have learned to channel (or divert) our love of horror movies into something healthy. For Grahame-Smith, it's writing books.

In "How to Survive a Horror Movie", SGS has written the ultimate survival guide for the perhaps
Jan 05, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: horror movie fans
Recommended to Laura by: no one
Shelves: adult
Hilarious! Takes a lot from classic, easy to recognize horror movies and compiles advice in humorous and bizarre lists. This author has a great sense of humor and the book is pretty short which is the perfect length to end before the jokes get stale. Anyone who enjoys the older horror movies like Nightmare on Elm street, Halloween, Friday the 13th, the Shining, Children of the Corn, Pet Sementary, etc. will have fun with this book.
This book wins the award of MOST impulsive buy! But the laughs I
Kelly Hager
Sep 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing
As a near-lifelong horror fan, I was so excited to get to read this book. I feel like I'm definitely a final girl, but that also depends on the type of movie we're in.

As someone who's basically the lady version of Randy in Scream, I'll survive the first one handily, but if there's a sequel? I'm totally toast. If you have a similar personality, this book could save your life. I cosign all the advice and would add this:

If you survive a massacre, here's what you need to do:

You may be tempted to go
Nov 13, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book was frigging hilarious!!
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 next »
topics  posts  views  last activity   
Play Book Tag: How to Survive a Horror Movie by Seth Grahame-Smith - 5 Stars 6 19 Mar 18, 2016 10:12PM  

Readers also enjoyed

  • The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires
  • Twelve Nights at Rotter House
  • The Deep
  • Slash
  • The Remaking
  • Monster, She Wrote: The Women Who Pioneered Horror and Speculative Fiction
  • Ghoster
  • Broetry Poetry for Dudes
  • Miscreations: Gods, Monstrosities & Other Horrors
  • True Crime
  • Geek Wisdom: The Sacred Teachings of Nerd Culture
  • Skinwrapper
  • The Twilight Man: Rod Serling and the Birth of Television
  • The Little Book of Lost Words: Collywobbles, Snollygosters, and 86 Other Surprisingly Useful Terms Worth Resurrecting
  • False Bingo: Stories
  • Blood Sugar
  • Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness
  • The Dead Girls Club
See similar books…
Seth Grahame-Smith (born Seth Jared Greenberg) is an American author, screenwriter and film producer. He is best known for his novels Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter which both hit the New York Times' best seller list. Seth Grahame-Smith lives in Los Angeles, California with his wife, Erin, and his son, Joshua.

Other books in the series

How to Survive (1 - 10 of 26 books)
  • How to Survive Marriage (How to Survive)
  • How to Survive Parenthood (How to Survive)
  • How to Survive Retirement (How to Survive)
  • How to Survive as a Governor in a Church School (How to Survive)
  • How to Survive as a Firefly (How to Survive)
  • How to Survive a Flood (How to Survive)
  • How to Survive a Blizzard (How to Survive)
  • How to Survive a Fire (How to Survive)
  • How to Survive as a Shark (How to Survive)
  • How to Survive the Wild (How to Survive)

Related Articles

Stand-up comedian, writer, and actress Ali Wong is adding another gig to her already packed résumé this fall: author. 44600621 Won...
70 likes · 11 comments
“put the car in "d" set the compass to "n" and get the "f"out of there” 55 likes
“Some people say "if we split up,we can cover more ground"-with blood” 28 likes
More quotes…