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Why Men Hate Going to Church
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Why Men Hate Going to Church

3.87  ·  Rating details ·  1,022 ratings  ·  166 reviews
It's Sunday morning. Where are all the men? Golfing? Playing softball? Watching the tube? Mowing the lawn? Sleeping? One place you won't find them is in church. Less than 40 percent of adults in most churches are men, and 20 to 25 percent of married churchgoing women attend without their husbands. And why are the men who do go to church so bored? Why won't they let God cha ...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published April 1st 2005 by Thomas Nelson (first published March 22nd 2005)
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James
Nov 08, 2011 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
In this updated edition of his 2005 book Why Men Hate Going to Church David Murrow has addressed a real, verifiable problem. Men don’t go to church, at least not in the numbers that women do. Why is this? Are Women more spiritual than men? Less fallen? No, but among the various factors that keep men out of the pews, Murrow finds that the church have soft-pedaled parts of the gospel painting Jesus as the gentle lamb of God without also showing us that He is the Lion of Judah, ferocious and wild. ...more
Callie
Jul 12, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-in-2017
This book was interesting, and I have some mixed feelings. In this book Barrow discusses the things about church that tend to make men shy away, and the book gets 4 stars because he made so many good points. He writes about ways we tend to discourage a masculine spirit in our churches, and how this is leading to a significant disparity between the number of men and the number of women in America's churches. As a Christian wife and especially a mother to boys, this topic is pretty relevant to me ...more
David
Feb 04, 2011 rated it did not like it
yikes.
Coyle
Nov 07, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Hmm, another book where it's tough to know where to begin. I guess with a summary:
This book is about why men hate going to church. Specifically, it walks through some historical and psychological reasons men don't go to church, and then through some possible solutions.
This book is well written, so it gets three stars (my rock-solid rule of book rating is that if you can string two sentences together in a way that keeps me reading, you get the average- it's a rare enough skill that it ought to b
...more
Dave  Johnson
Feb 25, 2011 rated it it was amazing
WOW. great book! and such an eye-opener. i have to say, i think this book may have shifted my perspective on ministry. in my heart i've known that i would eventually father other men, but this book really pointed that out even more and watered the seed in my heart.

the idea of the book is simple. men hate going to church because church in general is more of a feminine place. if you think about this, i think you'd agree. he has a lot of research to back this up, citing stats of church attendance
...more
Daniel Butcher
Oct 14, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
David Murrow has updated Why Men Hate Going to Church, his renowned book with new information and text previously published by him in other books. Murrow in this text uncovers the gender gap in churches, asking the question where are the men? Murrow shows his readers that today’s churches are dominated numerically by women and that men are largely absent. He explores the culture of the church noting that church vocabulary and words like love and relationship are tied to feminine culture and not ...more
Travis Bow
Jun 15, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-audio
Is this one of those cheesy, real-men-go-to-church, read-it-because-it-talks-about-trucks-and-barbed-wire Brother's Breakfast study guides?

No, not really. The book does paint men (and women) with broad, generalizing strokes, but it's not a man-up-and-go-to-church pitch, and it didn't strike me as manipulative or pandering to an imaginary dim-witted man who could be won over if you just used more distressed wood and Celtic knots in your Bible study branding. It's a book about the struggles and t
...more
David
May 23, 2017 rated it really liked it
When I mentioned this book to a friend, he had the same knee-jerk reaction to the title that I did. The only reason a man would hate going to church is that he is lost (unsaved), or backslidden (out of fellowship with God). After reading this book, I realize what a simplistic answer that is.
While it is true that mature Christian men, who have either been raised in the church or have been going long enough to become accustomed church culture will feel quite all right about the status quo, many ne
...more
Ryan French
Sep 26, 2020 rated it really liked it
This book will reshape your view of why churches have become disproportionately comprised of women. Men seem less and less interested in church and it isn't just because men are less enlightened. Murrow doesn't use this phrase but since reading this book I have started noticing the "sissification" of churches. Everything from church decor to song choices subtly encourages men to find their feminine side rather than encouraging godly masculinity. Even the cultural emasculation of Jesus has become ...more
Heidi
May 18, 2012 rated it really liked it
I think I'm a little unqualified to review this book, but here goes. Author David Murrow asserts that the rapid loss of men in the protestant faith over the last 50 years is due to the unintentional feminization of the church. I would have to say he's probably right - most of the time. From the decor (quilts, doilies, flowers, etc.) to the ministries that thrive (women's events, children's ministries, choir) church is tailor made for females and gives men the impression that they are not needed. ...more
Peter
Dec 26, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Why Men Hate Going to Church

David Murrow
Nelson Books
ISBN 0-7852-6038-2

Almost any church you walk into, any Sunday service, any church committee, you will notice the gender gap. There are more women than men. Is this just the way of things? Are women just naturally more religious than men? If you think that's unlikely, but don't understand why and want to know mote, then this is the book for you. David starts by looking at Masculinity, and then at some more detailed categories of people who are n
...more
John
Oct 21, 2007 rated it it was ok
The premise is wrong. Men don't hate going to church. They just don't go. The same goes for women.
Until they know Jesus. When a man comes to know Jesus he will find a church to go to, for all its many flaws. That's where he will come to know Jesus better, so that's where he will want to be.
This is not to say that churches couldn't stand to be more guy-friendly. And the author does have some really good points.
But his writing is repetitive, and it's filled with hyperbole, made-up examples and gen
...more
Louis Vigo
Sep 14, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: library
I remember a girl friend of mine coming to an event where I was playing guitar for on a worship team about 17-18 years ago. Our worship set was pretty up to date for the times, consisting of worship hit songs from Matt Redman and the ilk. Most of our set was geared to bring people into the throne room of God. That’s when you can zone out and feel the warmth of God’s presence and embrace of his spirit. It’s a very emotional place where people are often weeping, kneeling, or joyfully dancing.

It t
...more
Sonia Reppe
Jul 15, 2009 rated it really liked it
A lot of this book is about the differences between men and women; and why men are not comfortable in church (because most churches employ feminine themes and imagery, use a verbal teaching style, don't challenge enough, talk about having a "relationship" with Jesus, and so on) and how churches should adjust to meet men's needs.


There are so many points I could expound on, and yet maybe they are obvious to you. Men don't go to church because it's boring for them, they don't like the hand-holding
...more
Derek
Dec 26, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is awesome. This dude nails it, and he had the data to prove his points. I would encourage every Christian to read this book, and then begin to act on the truths and the hard realities contained within. This book isn't sexist, or misogynistic. It is true, funny, and well researched. The author was able to put words to many of the things that had been rumbling around in my head for years.

It sounds like it might be a negative book, but actually it's very upbeat, humorous and positive. H
...more
Louisa
Feb 17, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book! Everyone should read this. Pastors, fathers, mothers, old ladies who want to make doilies for the communion table. :) Centuries-old problem of a female-centered church experience, how we got there, and great ideas to fix it.
Trevor Dailey
Feb 06, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: theology
Wonderfully written and challenging. Written from a practical standpoint which then translates into real spiritual results. Will definitely be referencing in the future.
Kelli
Feb 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
So many points he raised rang true, both as a parent of boys and as a former Sunday school teacher. I want to go back to those young men and say, "Sorry! I didn't mean to drive you away!" ...more
Ethan
Jul 12, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
There are some books which prove quite important to one's growth and development in life because they make evident a pattern, challenge, and/or idea that is true, real, and yet somehow neglected or left unconsidered. Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow is one such book: after reading it, you will never look at Christianity and its practice in 21st century America the same way again.

I first encountered this book a few years ago and was glad to have the chance to read and review the updat
...more
Chris French
Jul 31, 2014 rated it it was amazing
I’m sure you’ve noticed a decline in the male population in our churches. Why are men fleeing from the church like a fat kid from gym class? Murrow thinks that we’ve feminized the church. We’ve focused on the Lamb of God to the exclusion of the Lion of Judah. He may have a valid point. Today’s church identifies more with the love, helping and relationships than with success, achievement and power, which is interesting because the first grouping comes from the women’s values in the book Men are f ...more
Steve
Sep 16, 2012 rated it liked it
Shelves: booksneeze, kindle
NB: my review is of the revised second edition - not this one. The revised edition doesn't seem to be available on Goodreads.


Christianity is not attractive to men at the moment. In fact, men hate going to church, according to David Murrow, the author of Why Men Hate Going to Church. Murrow argues that Christianity has become feminized since the industrial revolution to such an extent that men are leaving in droves or avoiding church like they avoid housework (my example - not his!). The men who
...more
Bethany
Aug 09, 2014 rated it did not like it

This book would have been intriguing if, instead of a 200-page book, it were a comment in a conversation. The author’s premise that church has evolved into a feminine society, thus making men feel uncomfortable and less interested in attending, is an interesting one.

It seems that he took this, began assuming it was a general rule, and decided to write about it. Then, when he started unearthing facts and actual data, he realized they didn’t quite line up with his premise, so skewed them and publ
...more
Andrew
Oct 14, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
In Why Men Hate Going to Church, David Murrow exposed the truth to the gender gaps in churches around the world. Men are rapidly disappearing from the congregation. Men have decided to do different things on Sunday. Women have become the main people running and going to church. Men are leaving churches because they have fear losing their masculinity. Many churches are using feminine language to describe a personal relationship with Christ. Murrow feels like men associate the word relationship wi ...more
David Santos
Oct 21, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Before I get into the actual review. I'd like to remind people that there are other Christian religions such as the 7th Day Adventist, that do NOT worship on Sundays, but on Saturday mornings. The author researched many other religions and mentions them in the book except the SDA's. Now, as I said I am an unbiased reviewer so I will not lower the rating of this book because of that, but I thought I should point that out. We do exist people.

For years I have asked myself that very question "Why do
...more
Paul Baggaley
In this book David Murrow correctly identifies the problem that most churches are not appealing or comfortable for men. He makes the point that churches that do successfully attract and retain a higher proportion of men are those that are healthy and growing. Murrow posits a number of historical and cultural reasons why this problem exists, and ultimately makes some limited suggestions about what can be done to tweak our churches to make them more man-friendly.

For the most part I agree with his
...more
Kj
Nov 18, 2011 rated it it was ok
Shelves: christian
I have a love-hate relationship with this book.

On the one hand, I was annoyed with the way he portrayed women - I know, it was a stereotype to highlight the differences between men and women, but as a woman it annoyed me. I felt judged whilst reading it, and that my feminine qualities were somehow the reason men couldn't worship alongside me.

I'm probably being oversensitive about that. Maybe it's that time of the month.

I also really didn't like the way he separated Jesus into two separate charac
...more
Brian
Dec 29, 2011 rated it it was amazing
YES! He’s right! David Murrow begins by calling out specific peeves that turn off men in contemporary churches. But he doesn’t stop there. He backs up his observations with solid data and supports his assertions directly from scripture. At first, his often humorous commentary felt very validating by asserting the same concerns and dislikes that I’ve felt for many years. It seems I’m not the only guy who’s uncomfortable with overly sentimental praise songs. But the tone changed away from what cou ...more
Aleesa Sutton
Aug 28, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Murrow has written a thought-provoking and important book about the crisis of the number of "unchurched" men today. This is an obvious labour of love for Murrow, as he almost abandoned Christianity himself because he didn't feel there was any room for his masculinity. Some points I especially liked:

- men’s passivity in church stems less from laziness and more from uneasiness (with the “feminine status quo”)

- many of today's churches are focused on comforting rather than challenging

- churchgoing
...more
Flewts
Apr 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If you have never read this book, I can't recommend it enough: Why Men Hate Going to Church. I picked it up because I have been dissatisfied with the church I have belonged to for 30 years and couldn't really figure out why. While it did help me spot some things, the more important thing it pointed out was how feminized our churches have become, why Islam is so appealing to men, and what we should do to change our churches so they can become more welcoming to men.

It's not about making churches i
...more
Dale
Jan 14, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Powerful and dead on.

Published 2011 by Thomas Nelson
237 pages, including end notes.

David Murrow has put a lot of thought into why men do not go to church. I am in my mid-40s and have gone to church all of my life, with the exception of 2 or 3 years right after college where my wife and I went every once in a while at best. We have been at the same church for 18 years.

We have a great church but we do have wives that come to church without their husbands week in and week out - not many, but after
...more
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“Men are hard-wired for risk taking—particularly young men. The number one killer of fifteen- to twenty-four-year-old males is accidents.6 Female investors hold less risky investment portfolios than their male counterparts and generally take fewer chances with their money.
Churches need men because men are natural risk takers—and they bring that orientation into the church. Congregations that do not take risks atrophy. Jesus made it clear that risk taking is necessary to please God. In the parable of the talents, the master praises two servants who risked their assets and produced more, but he curses the servant who played it safe. He who avoids all risk is, in the words of Jesus, “wicked and lazy".”
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“But a Christ who is all grace cannot stir the masculine soul. Deep down, men long for a harsh affection—the love of a coach who yells at his players to get every ounce of effort; the love of a drill sergeant who pushes his recruits to the limits of human endurance; the love of a teacher who demands the impossible from his students. As Western society feminizes, it’s getting harder for men to find this kind of love. The Lion of Judah offers harsh father-love in abundance—yet he’s becoming an endangered species in the modern church.” 2 likes
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