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Surviving The Killing Fields: The Cambodian Odyssey Of Haing S. Ngor

Haing Ngor,

Roger Warner

4.51 · Rating details · 2,757 ratings · 232 reviews

"He became famous through his academy award-winning performance as Dith Pran in the film The Killing Fields, but the key to Haing Ngor's screen success was the terrible truth of his own experiences in the rice paddies and labor camps of revolutionary Cambodia."

Here, in a gripping memoir of life under the communist Khmer Rouge regime, he reveals the country's descent into a ...more

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Paperback, 504 pages

Published 1989 by Pan Books Ltd. (first published 1988)

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Feb 28, 2020 Ahmad Sharabiani rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: history, 20th-century, asia, culture, biography, non-fiction, memoir, war

A Cambodian Odyssey = Survival in the Killing Fields, Haing Ngor

Here, in his memoir of life under the Khmer Rouge, is a searing account of a country's descent into hell. His was a world of war slaves and execution squads, of senseless brutality and mind-numbing torture; where families ceased to be and only a very special love could soar above the squalor, starvation and disease. An eyewitness account of the real killing fields by an extraordinary survivor, this book is a reminder of the horrors ...more

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Aug 14, 2011 Mariel rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Recommends it for: Ruby, don't take your love to town

Recommended to Mariel by: one of the classic blunders

Kum. Kum is a Cambodian word for a particularly Cambodian mentality of revenge- to be precise, a long-standing grudge leading to revenge much more damaging than the original injury. If I hit you with my fist and you wait five years and then shoot me in the back one dark night, that is kum.

Kum-monuss. Ngor took the word for revenge and paired it with the word for people, monuss. "Revenge people." That's what they are, communist at the top and kum-monuss at the bottom.

Why did the Cambodian people ...more

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Apr 27, 2011 Alex rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011, asia

I think I can sum up the lessons of this book with a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal cartoon.

For the first half or so, I thought I had a handle on it. I've read Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China, which details what the Chinese suffered through under Mao and the Cultural Revolution; since the Khmer Rouge borrowed a lot of ideas from Mao, this was a story I was familiar with.

Then it got bad.

When you've just read 200 pages of people being harnessed like oxen to ploughs and whipped on until the ...more

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Dec 08, 2020 Steven Godin rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: memoir-autobiography, history, non-fiction

"The Khmer Rouge wanted a complete change of society, from the top to the bottom. Gone was everything that had governed our lives in the old times. Lon Nol was gone, airlifted to America before the fall; Sihanouk was gone, his fate a mystery. The monks were gone. ("The monks were bloodsucking imperialists. If any worker secretly takes rice to the monks, we shall set him to plant cabbages. If the cabbages are not full-grown in three days, he will dig his own grave.") The families were broken up,
"The Khmer Rouge wanted a complete change of society, from the top to the bottom. Gone was everything that had governed our lives in the old times. Lon Nol was gone, airlifted to America before the fall; Sihanouk was gone, his fate a mystery. The monks were gone. ("The monks were bloodsucking imperialists. If any worker secretly takes rice to the monks, we shall set him to plant cabbages. If the cabbages are not full-grown in three days, he will dig his own grave.") The families were broken up, the children and elderly sent off to live in their own groups. There were no more cities. No more markets, stores, restaurants or cafes. No privately owned buses, cars, or bicycles. No schools. No books or magazines. No money. No clocks. No holidays or religious festivals. Just the sun that rose and set, the stars at night and the rain that fell from the sky. And work. Everything was work, in the empty, primitive countryside."

"Day after day the purge grew worse. Some were taken away for complaining, most for stealing food to stay alive. We tried to learn why the Khmer Rouge were killing so many but found no real reason. It was just something they did, a craving they could not satisfy. They created enemies to devour, which increased their appetite for enemies. Shock, horror, grief—with the death of my father, part of us died. Under the control of an alien force we responded, but without energy to spare. We were beings so imperfect and fragile in manufacture that we wore out constantly, or were destroyed for being defective by those who did not care. Everything was gone. The bond between humans destroyed. There was no hope. Two weeks later my brother and his wife were taken away with their hands tied. I never learned why. They never came back."

"I has survived three episodes of torture and prison as well as malaria and dysentery. I was alive. There were scars—scalp wounds, from the third prison; burn scars on my legs, from the second prison; half of my little finger missing, from the first prison. There were other injuries, mental and emotional, but I wasn't aware of them until later. At the time, I was in reasonably good spirits. And I was amazed. I had survived when thousands of people around me had died of illness or starvation, and thousands more had been executed. It was a miracle I was alive. I accepted it as such and thanked the gods. When I looked around, I saw other miracles. Everything, from the color of the sky to the taste of rice to the sight of a temple on the mountainside, seemed new and fresh. And the life-force within me was the same force within the earth and sky and all other living beings." ...more

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Nov 24, 2018 Mikey B. rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: vietnam, autobiography, war, 20th-century-history

This is a harrowing read. In this autobiography we get an in depth and very personal feel of life in Cambodia under Sihanouk, Lon Nol, and then the Khmer Rouge.

The Khmer Rouge upended everything in Cambodian society. They started - as they said – from Year Zero. Normal life was destroyed and the cities emptied. The author could not even wear his glasses for fear of being labelled as a bourgeois and being executed or at the very least of being imprisoned. He was a doctor but never admitted to thi This is a harrowing read. In this autobiography we get an in depth and very personal feel of life in Cambodia under Sihanouk, Lon Nol, and then the Khmer Rouge.

The Khmer Rouge upended everything in Cambodian society. They started - as they said – from Year Zero. Normal life was destroyed and the cities emptied. The author could not even wear his glasses for fear of being labelled as a bourgeois and being executed or at the very least of being imprisoned. He was a doctor but never admitted to this during the Khmer Rouge years.

This is a sad story. The author lost many in his family from the long years of ruthless labour and starvation under the Khmer Rouge. We also get a strong sense of the author’s resilience, possibly his inner rebelliousness was key to his survival. For much of the Khmer Rouge period the author and his wife performed various forms of slave labour. We also come to feel the helplessness of his inability to aid his fellow men during those long years. To do so would have put his life into jeopardy. I found the inseparableness of Haing Ngor and his wife, Huoy life affirming; they continually supported each other during the many dire experiences they underwent together.

This book has many parallels with “1984” by George Orwell. Angka – the name of the authoritarian regime of the Khmer Rouge are much like Big Brother. And as the author finds out, much to his detriment, anyone can “turn you in” for any purported suspicion. Angka controls and usurps all aspects of life like family, sex, and religion. It is heresy at the risk of death to question Angka.

Page 199 (my book)

What made it worse, what made it more appalling was that somehow it was ordinary. You put one foot in front of the other and you kept walking. You heard the cries of the weak but you didn’t pay much attention, because you were concentrating on yourself and your own survival. We had all seen death before. In the exodus from Phum Chhleav, the atrocious had become normal.

Page 388- 389

But the traffic on National Route 1 in 1975 was nothing like the traffic on National Route 5 in 1979.

In 1979 there were no cars being pushed, or motorcycles. There were no television sets, radios, electric fans or cartons of books being carried. If people had any possessions at all they carried them in small bundles on shoulderboards, on their backs, or balanced on their heads. They trudged along in barefoot groups, two or three or five skinny people in rags and then another few coming along a hundred yards later. Most had facial sores. In 1975 women had cared how they looked, but in 1979 there were only torn clothes, and the women had no sense of fashion or pride in their appearance. In 1975 when friends met they asked “Have you eaten yet?” or “How many children do you have?”. In 1979 they stared at you with haunted eyes and asked, “Who survived in your family?”.

It should be noted that this is the biography of Haing Ngor, the man who acted the role of Dith Pran in the film “The Killing Fields”. So this autobiography is entirely different from the story of the film. The book focuses much more on Haing Ngor’s arduous struggle under the Khmer Rouge. And very tragically Haing Ngor was murdered by a street gang in Los Angeles. ...more

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Apr 25, 2011 Adele McVay rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I read this book a long time ago, so this is not going to be an in depth review, instead it's a reflection on the impact it had on me.

I remember aged 21 working in an office and coming across this book, in tattered form. No one else in the office claimed it as theirs, but one guy had read it and recommended it to me. It wasn't the kind of book I would normally have been attracted to at that age. I was not shallow, but not the deepest of people either.

This book opened my eyes and made me mature I read this book a long time ago, so this is not going to be an in depth review, instead it's a reflection on the impact it had on me.

I remember aged 21 working in an office and coming across this book, in tattered form. No one else in the office claimed it as theirs, but one guy had read it and recommended it to me. It wasn't the kind of book I would normally have been attracted to at that age. I was not shallow, but not the deepest of people either.

This book opened my eyes and made me mature a little. No other book before or since has had so much impact on me. I'd watched grainy footage from 2 world wars. I'd heard numerous references to "Nam". I'd been vaguely aware that something had gone on in the Falklands, possibly to do with Thatcher. I'd been desensitised to violent scenes via special effects (primitive as they were back then). But this book was an assault on my senses. The author does a great job of vividly describing events, not just visually, but emotionally. 14 years after reading the book I can still recall at least 4 gruesome scenes and one still brings a tear to my eye. After reading this I feared for humanity. I questioned my belief system and took an interest in politics. The most disturbing part of the book for me was the fact that it took place during my lifetime. These were not grainy images of a long ago war, I knew that while the events were happening, while a country was crumbling and people were suffering and dying I was being bounced on my fathers knee and getting on with being a toddler. It made me wonder "what else is going on, right now, elsewhere?" A couple of years later when I saw reports of genocide on the news I sat up and paid attention. I took annual leave from work and spent the time sorting donations and packing aid boxes bound for Romania. I would never have done that if this author hadn't opened my eyes to the harsh realities of war, regimes and dictatorships.

This is a book that cannot be unread and should be read by everyone of voting age. ...more

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Feb 05, 2019 Breanna Chov rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I grew of hearing just glimpses of my Dad’s family’s life before immigrating to the United States. Much of their stories seemed too unreal to believe.

This book gave a bigger picture for what the Cambodian people and my family endured. It is captivating, well written, and honest. There were times where I had to choose either to take a break from the book, skim read past the unspeakable cruelties of the Khmer Rouge, or buckle down and choose to read about the real experiences of Haing Nor and oth ...more

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May 22, 2009 Jessica rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

One of the hardest, saddest books I have ever read. It is extremely graphic; nevertheless, I'll never see the world the same way again. ...more

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Jun 11, 2013 Noah rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites, history, biography, east-asia, autobiography, indochina, reread, personally-influential

After rereading this, I have decided for sure that it is my favorite book. It is the most disturbing, violent, and heart wrenching story I have ever heard. It is disgusting in parts, so when it warns the readers to skip ahead if you are faint-hearted, take the advice seriously. Haing Ngor started out in poverty, made it to the status of an upper middle class doctor, only to lose it all in the awful Khmer Rouge regime. This book records Haing Ngor's survival of the Cambodian Genocide against all ...more

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Sep 10, 2012 Bexy rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

A riveting read...'a must'. It's exceptionally well written account of the realities of life under the Khmer Rouge. Whilst the reading material may be hard for some, for anyone familiar with the atrocities that go along with brutal occupation and genocide the content is, sadly, not surprising. The book is also underpinned by love, hope and the human ability (or super ability in Haing's case) to survive - making this book a 'journey' that will stay with you. ...more

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Feb 14, 2013 Michael rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

In a word, harrowing.
I visited the Killing Fields in the outskirts of Phnom Penh about seven years ago and it too is a harrowing place to see the results of what some Cambodians did so violently to other Cambodians. Unfortunately at the time of my visit I did not have the excellent historical background that Haing Ngor provides us with as he brings together the events of the past, internal political factions and the superpowers and their game-plays that simply overwhelms a whole population and In a word, harrowing.
I visited the Killing Fields in the outskirts of Phnom Penh about seven years ago and it too is a harrowing place to see the results of what some Cambodians did so violently to other Cambodians. Unfortunately at the time of my visit I did not have the excellent historical background that Haing Ngor provides us with as he brings together the events of the past, internal political factions and the superpowers and their game-plays that simply overwhelms a whole population and rips apart a society of which Haing Ngor is part of.
He trained as a medical doctor and not long after his graduation, the Khmer Rouge rebels began their sweep through the whole country. His family was prosperous and they lived a very comfortable life in the capital Phnom Penh. As the rebels advanced every component of the society the Cambodians knew began to be stripped away from them in a rapid decline and we are led through this by Haing Ngor's personal story and those of his family, friends and colleagues. At gunpoint he was forced to stop in the middle of a surgical operation that he was carrying out in the hospital, the whole population of Phnom Penh was forced to flee their homes, their families and their lives as they had known it. The abandonment of the luxuries of life, the destruction of housing, the collapse of the transport system, the ban on any sort of trading (food, goods, markets), the value of money vapourised, the destruction of anything associated with religion including the desecration of temples and statues, and the population was forced into the countryside to work as peasants as part of the "great revival of Cambodia without Western influences".
There was an interesting comment by the author about women and how they would not commit the torture and atrocities that men did. As a mere male I had not thought about this before and I think he is correct.
To the rebel soldiers these people swept away from the capital were soft and of low status which enabled the rebels to treat their prisoners/slaves with utter contempt. All work was manual work with long hours of labour and primitive hand tools. The projects they were forced to work on (canals, paddy fields, dams) were usually inadequately planned and often abandoned bringing more despair to the captives as they were then uprooted from their primitive base to another area where they had to start from the beginning again. Each week saw another level of society as we know it removed from them. Families torn apart, disease and no access to medicine or medical aid, inadequate food supply, sheer exhaustion from the demanding labour requirements, poor shelter, spying by traitors in their own compounds plus the fear of torture where death became a preferred option as an escape from the horrors they faced on a daily and hourly basis.
Despite all of the above, if you are willing to work through the descriptions of the animalistic torture that was imparted on the population at large and have an interest in Cambodia and its history I can thoroughly recommend this book. ...more

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Aug 03, 2011 Nick rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

The hardest book I have ever read, not because of the concepts or language (Roger Warner arranged Haing Ngor's halting English into a narrative that flows), but because of what happens. That includes a handful of Holocaust memoirs. Ngor survived three sessions in Khmer Rouge jails, and before the book recounts each of them it warns sensitive readers to skip what follows--and that is after the harrowing accounts of excruciating work, starvation and the casual execution of Ngor's relatives. The Kh The hardest book I have ever read, not because of the concepts or language (Roger Warner arranged Haing Ngor's halting English into a narrative that flows), but because of what happens. That includes a handful of Holocaust memoirs. Ngor survived three sessions in Khmer Rouge jails, and before the book recounts each of them it warns sensitive readers to skip what follows--and that is after the harrowing accounts of excruciating work, starvation and the casual execution of Ngor's relatives. The Khmer Rouge decided that ignorance was indeed bliss, that individuals with knowledge of medicine and engineering were class enemies to be extirpated through overwork and underfeeding. When the rice fields and worthless dams failed to perform, it was the result of sabotage, not leadership incompetent at best and murderous at worst. The society they created was so classless that when it all came crashing down, the Khmer Rouge were identifiable because of being a normal weight. Ngor was a doctor without tools; he feels powerless when he sees Khmer Rouge "nurses" give an infant a fatal overdose of a vitamin; he hasn't the tools to save the life of his own wife, who had already saved his. Through all this, perhaps the most astonishing facet is the deep love between Ngor and his wife Huoy. The Thai and the Vietnamese come off as less than selfish: the Thai forced thousands of Cambodian refugees back across the border into minefields where they perished; the Vietnamese invaded because the pesky Khmer Rouge kept raiding its border communities, but mostly because Cambodia is, under normal circumstances, a rice basket for the region, and they left when the fall of the Soviets stopped subsidizing them. Ngor became involved in post-Vietnamese politics, but evidently grew skeptical of the regime of the ex-Khmer Rouge Hun Sen, still President. Throughout, there is the corruption that lubricates Cambodian power and economics, known by its nickname "bonjour". After surviving the regime, the prison camps and the prison, Ngor acknowledged that he remained a difficult man, haunted by what had happened to him, and he met an end at the hand of Cambodian robbers in Los Angeles. ...more

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Jan 01, 2017 Jo rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Survival at the Killing Fields is an account by a rational, honest man, of his time living under one of the most brutal and pointless regimes in history, the Khmer Rouge. If the descriptions of torture in Khmer Rouge prisons, which the author survived 3 times, are chilling, it's the loss of his wife that brings you to tears. The sheer hopelessness of a doctor being unable to save his wife because the regime virtually abolished medicine is only one of many situations that exposes the stupidity an ...more

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Feb 28, 2013 Harry Rutherford rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: south-east-asia, around-the-world, autobiography, asia

Survival in the Killing Fields is my book from Cambodia for the Read The World challenge. Haing Ngor was a doctor in pre-revolutionary Phnom Penh. That alone was enough to make him a target for the Khmer Rouge, but he managed to survive their regime through lies, determination, judgement and blind luck. Later he made it to America, was cast in the film The Killing Fields , and won an Oscar for best supporting actor.

Which is a remarkable story, and superficially one of the triumph of the human ...more

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Aug 23, 2011 Iris rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Searing. Powerful. Unforgettable.

I recently decided that I wanted to learn about Cambodia, the Khmer Rouge, and the killing fields, especially because I plan on traveling there later on in life. I borrowed about 10 books from my library, and made it halfway through about 3 of them before I read this one. While those previous books were powerful, I found them to either be too hands-off, more interested in politics or explanations rooted in the nature of man, rather than the humanity and tragedy ...more

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Aug 07, 2011 Andrew Rosner added it · review of another edition

A tragic but ultimately very human story. In many ways Ngor's story is even more horrific than that of Dith Pran, who Ngor played in the movie "The Killing Fields." That Ngor was able to survive not only the depredations that every Cambodian faced during that terrible time, but three separate imprisonments during which he was brutally tortured speaks to his sheer force of will and desire to live. But it's more than just his personal story. Ngor was a keen observer of Cambodian culture and the po ...more

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Feb 12, 2020 SethGyan rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This isn't just a reminder of how evil communism is but also a love story that holds the narrative even till the murder of the author. The love story of Haing and Huoy.

Life's tragic and for Haing Ngor it was all the more; even after surviving being under the Kmer Rouge and becoming a movie star, he still couldn't shake of the pain and tragedy of loosing Huoy and everyone he loved. He was depressed even till the end.

And the biggest irony is that he died a rough death whiles Pol Pot who engineer ...more

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Sep 09, 2013 Eastern Lit rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: cambodian, non-fiction, history

Over the years I have read a fair few autobiographies of survivors of the Pol Pot regime, yet this is the only one which still haunts me to this day.

This book definitely isn’t for the faint hearted. It’s heartbreaking and horrowing. There are graphic descriptions of torture and murder, of disease and starvation, of crimes against humanity both within the Khmer Rouge and outside (including the rape of women by Thai soldiers as they try and escape Cambodia, and the mass killing of Cambodian refuge ...more

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Sep 10, 2013 Carys rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: history, indochina

This had to be the most tragic book I've ever read about the Khmer Rouge and what they did to their own people. The chapters of his times in prison are what haunted me the most. That the book warns sensitive readers to skip those parts should say enough about the horrors he had to live through.
When Ngor is not in prison, he has to watch his family get ripped apart through the random executions, which made the Khmer Rouge so feared. Being a doctor only makes it worse for him, I believe, as he is ...more

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Dec 09, 2013 Michael rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: world-history, non-fiction, favorites

This is a amazing book. Powerful. It will help you appreciate how good your life is, and show you how horrible it could be. People can be such monsters. The things some people are capable of doing is just mind blowing to me. This is a very sad and disturbing story of Haing Ngor's survival during the Pol Pot communist regime take over in Cambodia in the 70's.(1975-1979) This book enraged me. But I couldn't put it down. I highly recommend this book to anyone that thinks they have a tough life. Any ...more

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Dec 18, 2014 Avi rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction-history, favorites, non-fiction, non-fiction-history-cambodia, non-fiction-autobiography

Korea is often termed the 'forgotten war' in comparison to the events of Vietnam, but it is Cambodia which was a truly forgotten country during the Cold War era. And while the efforts of New York Times reporter Sydney Schanberg, Dith Pran and the film The Killing Fields did much to bring to light the political turmoil within which Cambodia found itself embroiled in the 1970s, this memoir by Haing Ngor (who played Pran in the film) is the definitive, harrowing account of life under the brutal Khm ...more

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Mar 15, 2009 Jill rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Ngor's story of his experiences in Cambodia before, during, and after the Khmer Rouge takeover in the late 1970's. Absolutely gripping and often emotionally trying. I usually do my best to avoid violent scenes in books and movies because they just play over and over in my head, but I found myself feeling awful skipping the gory parts (he warns you when they're coming). How can I claim discomfort at just reading about them when millions actually suffered through those horrendous crimes. I didn't ...more

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Jan 16, 2017 Diz rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: history, biography, cambodia

This is a very powerful book. Haing Ngor tells the story of his survival of the killing fields of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia in the late 70s. It's hard to imagine the brutality and inhumanity that he describes. If you read this book, be prepared to cry a little. I feel it is important to remember stories such as this in order to remind ourself how demonizing others can lead to some very dark outcomes. ...more

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Feb 03, 2009 Tom rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This book is just terrifyingly sad, but necessary. Note that when Ngor gives one of his caveats that he is about to tell you something really, really terrible, he is NOT FIDDLE FUCKING AROUND. He means it. He's about to lay some seriously terrible shit on you. And it will haunt you. ...more

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May 28, 2013 Judi rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: asian-history, memoir

I read this book on the heels of Tree of Smoke by Denis Johnson. This book certainly fleshes out the massacre in Cambodia during the years of conflict in Southeast Asia. It serves to flesh out the greed, hate, fear, cruelty common to all wars.

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Nov 04, 2016 Lesley rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: true-stories, historical, culture, 2016-50-countries-challenge

This is about what happened in Cambodia in the 1970's. This is excruciatingly violent with the brutal yet casual executions of innocent people. This genocide was evil! Its humbling to read of such suffering but yet overcome with the love this man had the human spirit. ...more

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Mar 05, 2009 Natalie Camp rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This book is sooo crazy and takes you into a very depressed state of mind all through out it but such a good description of what was happening then. This is an AMAZING and heart wrenching book

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Nov 28, 2012 Bettie rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: film-only

The helicopter scene was filmed just down the road from my hotel in Cha-am.

Another one of those that cannot be graded by stars.

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Dec 28, 2016 Ros rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

An extremely well-written account of a horrific time in history.

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Jan 02, 2017 Nick rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: history, military

An amazing account of the killing fields of Cambodia during the 1970's. Really worth reading. ...more

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“I told the others which trees to chop, where to get the mud, even though I was not the official leader. My father used to say, ‘Thing like a boss, not like a worker.’ He meant that it is better to use your brain and be active than to be sullen and passive, as most workers are. I worked harder than anyone in the crew because it kept my mind sharp and because it kept me from thinking about other things.” — 3 likes

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