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Getting Even

really liked it 4.0  ·  Rating details ·  5,148 Ratings  ·  216 Reviews
After three decades of prodigious film work & some unfortunate tabloid adventures, it's easy to forget that Woody Allen began his career as one heck of a great comedy writer. Getting Even, a collection of his late '60s magazine pieces, offers a look into Allen's bag of shtick, back when it was new. From the supposed memoirs of Hitler's barber: "Then, in January of '45, ...more
paper, 110 pages
Published 1972 by Warner Books (first published 1966)
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Fahd It's just adding a german or maybe austrian accent to the character's way of speaking - It would just mean "And Mama and I laughed at it."
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Paquita Maria Sanchez
I dedicate this review to my friend David Vicsotka. Here is a man that LOVES engaging in those early-in-the-dating-process, sprawling conversations about art, literature, and film that either A) get you laid, and ideally lead to further discussions concerning the wonders of the creative process coupled with additional sexual encounters or B) lead to awkward conversations, reconsideration of sexual interest, fears that this person is a boorish dumb-ass, fears within that potential dumb-ass that y ...more
Nov 24, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: short-story, prose
هوشمندی طنز وودی آلن در پاشیدن غباری از کودکانگی به روایتهاش هست. بنابراین اگرچه گاهی درونمایه و اجرا تاب سنگینی تبدیل متن به داستان کوتاه رو نداره، اما همین هوشمندی کودکانه متن رو جوری پیش میبره که بعد تموم شدنش حس نارضایتی نمیکنی.
متنهای نیمه اول کتاب جذابترن؛ مخصوصا متن نگاهی به جنایات سازمانیافته رو که بسیار دوستش داشتم و بعدها باز هم بهش برخواهم گشت.
هميشه فكر مى كردم -البته هنوز هم- كه تو ذهن وودى آلن صداى خنده پخش ميشه ، از اين مدل خنده هايى كه تو سريالاى سيتكام هست . عاشق ذهناييم كه ترجيح ميدن از راهى كه "ديد عوام" توش هست پيروى نكنن .
از اين چهارده داستان ولى فقط سه تاشونو دوست داشتم :
يادداشت هاى يك پرخور
كنت دراكولا
چند گفتگو با هلمهولتس

" وقتى ده كيلو وزن كم مى كنيم ، شايد بهترين ده كيلويمان را از دست بدهيم . شايد آن ده كيلويى را از دست بدهيم كه نبوغمان ، انسانيتمان ، عشقمان و صداقتمان در آن نهفته است . "
Mohammad Ali

نمره ی واقعی: 2.5

نیمه ی اول کتاب پر از تکه های خنده دار و جذاب بود اما در نیمه ی دوم به ندرت چیز خاصی پیدا می شد. اگر کل کتاب مثل نیمه ی اولش بود سه ستاره واقعا حقش بود. همچنان مشکلات در تلفظ اسامی وجود داشت - چیزی که نشان از ویراستاری ضعیف یا نامطلعه

این کتاب رو بیشتر از "عوارض جانبی 1" خنده دار یافتم. یعنی کتاب زیر
عوارض جانبی 1 by Woody Allen

بخش هایی که جذاب تر یافتمشان، "لیست های لباسشویی مترلینگ"، "خاطرات اشمیت"، "بله، اما آیا ماشین بخار قادر است این کار را بکند؟" و "افسانه های حسیدیک" ( به جز آخریش ) بودند
Oct 11, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Hermit the frog
Recommended to Mariel by: Gonzo style
Review #1: The Lists

I would do a list of my favorite Woody Allen films but I've already done so elsewhere on goodreads. I know it happened in 2003 (or maybe it was 2004. I remember the pain if not the exact date) that these asshole Wes Anderson fans made fun of me for having such a long list of favorite Woody Allen films.

Times that Wes Anderson made me look like an idiot:
1. His stupid fans ganged up on me for having a long list of favorite films. Okay, if my favorite filmmaker was Wes Anderson m
Alexander Akyna
Dec 10, 2017 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: loathed
Read it years ago. Remember hating it with a passion, namely the part in which Woody destroys his beloved Swedish movie The Seventh Seal.
This book's title was accurately translated into Spanish as Acabemos de una vez por todas con la cultura ("Let's Finish with Culture for Once and for All"), and I get Woody's intention, but I agree with Oscar Wilde more, Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault., and this book felt to me at the time a
Jul 18, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2013
(وودی آلن)"فرقی نداره توی کدوم گروه باشی ، قطعا توی اون یکی گروه بیشتر خوش می گذره"
وودی از نوابغه بازهم میگم شک نکنین!
این کتاب در فارسی دو تا ترجمه داره یکی کنت دراکولا و داستان های دیگر و ترجمه ی دیگر که ترجمه نگار شاطریان است با نام "حالا بی حساب شدیم"نمی دونم توی ترجمه دیگر هم این مقدار حذفیات و سه نقطه داخل کروشه که نشانه ی سانسور هست وجود دارد یا نه. ولی با تمام این احوالات این هم یکی دیگر از کارهای معرکه ی وودی آلن نابغه ی دوران ما بود خصوصا دو داستان "عقاید فلسفی من"و"اطلاعیه های بهاری"
Apr 26, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Punk by: Sab
Shelves: short-stories
Humor. These absurd little pieces read like they were written by a computer program that learned to write from Mad Libs. The humor is completely random and utterly dry. The stories aren't laugh-out-loud funny -- they're more likely to surprise an admiring snort out of you -- but they are funny (if sometimes funny-strange), crafted with skill and fearlessness (comedy: the one thing Woody Allen isn't afraid of?).

Some favorites: "The Schmeed Memoirs" - Hitler's barber; "Death Knocks" - Death plays
Jeff Crompton
Aug 05, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I picked this one off the shelves a couple of days ago. I've read it a couple of times over the years, but not recently. This time, more than ever, it struck me as brilliant. The humor is a mixture of the intellectual and the ridiculous, and that mixture appeals to me strongly. I particularly enjoyed the final piece, "Mr. Big," which reads like something Mickey Spillane would have written if he had been a philosophy major.
Mahdi Dolati
مجموعهای از داستانهای کوتاه. من از اینها بیشتر لذت بردم
خاطرات اشمید
بله، اما آیا ماشین بخار میتواند این کار را بکند؟
افسانههای حسیدیک با تفسیرشان از دانشمند مشهور
کنت دراکولا
زندهباد وارگاس!

بخشی از زندگی کنت ساندویچ، مخترع ساندویچ از داستان: بله، اما آیا ماشین بخار میتواند این کار را بکند؟
پس از چهار سال کار طاقتفرسا احساس میکند که در آستانه پیروزی است، در برابر همکارانش، از اختراعش که شامل دو برش بوقلمون با یک برش نان در وسط میشود پردهبرداری میکند. هیچ کس از این اثر او استقبال نمیکند، بجز دیوید هیوم
Rosa Ramôa
Jan 09, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Sim, mas a máquina de vapor é capaz de fazer isto?
Podemos fazer uma reflexão filosófica.Podemos ver nisso uma
interpretação do distinto erudito.Boletim da Primavera?
Podemos acabar de vez com a cultura?Será a morte que chama ou é a minha filosofia?
Num dia normal na vida do lendário Conde Drácula que espera pelo anoitecer para não levar com os raios de sol que certamente o matariam. Cai a escuridão.Drácula sai.Tratava de um eclipse.
E ainda:
-As listas de Metterling
-Uma vista de olhos pelo cri
carpe librorum :)
É cómico, absurdo, bastante irónico e sarcástico, apesar de eu ter cabeceado algumas vezes a lê-lo, mas pronto, estava cansada e cheia de sono. Ando a reler Contos do Gin-Tonic e não posso deixar de notar algumas semelhanças. O Woody também tem o seu quê de surreal. Enfim, um clássico incontornável que eu mais tarde ou mais cedo havia de ler. Next.
Mohsen M.B
در اینکه این کتاب طنزی فوقالعاده داره هیچ شکی نیست اما مسئله اینجاست که طنز هرقدر عمیقتر بشه، مخاطب مطلعتر میطلبه؛ این کتاب دربرگیرنده طیف وسیعی از موضاعاته، جایی با فلاسفه شوخی میکنه، جایی با سران آلمان نازی، سری به انقلابیها میزنه، یهودیها و هنرمندان رو هم بینصیب نمیذاره...ـ
در هر یک از این موضوعات، اشارات فراوانی به افراد، فرهنگهای مختلف، نکات اجتماعی و تاریخی وجود داره که برای درک اونها نیاز به آگاهی و مطالعه در اون زمینه است، شاید به همین دلیله که هر فردی با بخشی از کتاب بهتر ارتباط برقرار
Jane Stewart
This was ok, but I didn’t smile as much as I hoped. My mind wandered at times.

I like his quirky mind. Woody Allen was ok as narrator of the audiobook.

Narrative mode: mostly 3rd person. Unabridged audiobook length: 2 hrs and 43 mins. Swearing language: Jesus used once or twice. Sexual content: nothing explicit. Book copyright: 1971. Genre: humorous thoughts.
Jan 22, 2018 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: short-stories, essays
You know that weird friend who buys beans in bulk and soaks them himself, or swears that vinyl sounds "warmer" than that electronic crap they record on today as long as you aren't playing it on a Crosley, or compares different wines to Star Trek characters and Greek philosophers, or when people ask him what he does for a living he calls himself a "lifelong learner" or "an intellectual" or "What do any of us do to live, really? You know I was reading about the future of artificial intelligence in ...more
Nazanin Banaei
تایپ من نبود کلن. بجز دو تا داستان فلسفه ی من و یادداشت های یک پرخور
Ivan Damjanović
Priličan sam ljubitelj Allenovih filmova (nekih više, nekih manje*, kao, uostalom, i tekstova iz ove zbirke), a ovo je prvi njegov tiskani uradak kojeg sam se dohvatio. Tradicionalno najuočljivija tekstualna struktura, naslov knjige, veliki je upitnik ovdje. Ne uočavam nikakvu vezu između „Getting Even“ / „Milo za drago“ i dotičnih tekstova. (Ni na netu nisam našao razjašnjenje, ali nije da sam se ubio tražeći). Uglavnom, ova kompilacija objavljena ’71. na mahove vrlo zabavno parodira biografski ...more
Aug 12, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Hacía tiempo que no releía algo, pero es que realmente necesitaba hacerlo.

Es la clase de libros que sólo alguien acostumbrado a su manera de escribir, de su clase de chistes y su humor snob-intelectual, puede disfrutar. De otro modo puede verse como un montón de palabras pegadas y lanzadas al azar. Sin mencionar que los contenidos culturales que poseen son de alto calibre y sin tener un conocimiento previo, al menos de nombres, puede volverse algo tedioso o confuso, o idiota. Lo que más les gus
Nov 16, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: essays
Allen, Woody. GETTING EVEN. (1971). ****1/2. This was the first collection of Allen’s thoughts, essays, and phantasmagoria. Most of the pieces were first published in the New Yorker magazine, and are all stand-alone. This is the second time I have worked my way through this book, not realizing that time was passing, and all of a sudden finding I was at the end. On the way I have been entertained and amazed at the variety of Allen’s turgid imagination. Pieces like, “Death Knocks,” and A Little Lo ...more
Rich Meyer
Nov 25, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2014
Woody Allen's three books are some of the funniest stuff I've ever read. I. thoroughly enjoyed them as a child, though I did spend a lot of time in the library looking up some of the more obscure references. This Take the Money and Run- and What's Up Tiger Lily-Allen, not the much more serious leaning director of Manhattan or Interiors.

Getting Even is the first collection and probably the most sublime of the three. Definitely worth a read for any fan of erudite comedy.
Jan 06, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Un recopilado de los textos humorísticos que Woody publicó en el New Yorker y la verdad son divertidos (no todos pero sí la gran mayoría).

Mis favoritos fueron los de Sándwich, Bergman y la Cultura.

It's a gem of a book.

A collection of hilarious and slightly jarring stories told from different view points including a philosophical detective investigating the death of god, a member of a revolutionary uprising in a south american republic...

Well worth a read.
Oct 21, 2016 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Freud və Tərəvəz <3
Maja Perić
Feb 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The Whore of Mensa from ''Without Feathers'' would really come in handy when trying to tell the real-life and the made up people apart (though I am fully aware that this probably only goes for me). Nevertheless I absolutely loved every short story and gained some perspective on things I never really thought or cared about before. On a more unrelated note, am currently wondering if Heywood will live to dispel all those misconceptions about Dylan Farrow's sexual abuse allegations and to see the tr ...more
Mar 25, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor, ensayo, 1992, ficcion
Fantástico. Una colección de ensayos cortos sobre los más diversos temas (relacionados con la cultura) en los que el autor da rienda suelta a la vez a su intelecto y a su humor más absurdo. El de la partida de ajedrez por cartea me hizo llorar de la risa. Muy recomendable.
Il y a
Nov 26, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
In its genre it's (Woody is) one of the best. It isn't even literature. But what it is, it is good at it.
Jul 28, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
honestly, i have no idea why such a small book took me so long to read. especially considering how much i enjoyed it. more than likely, i just didn't want it to end.

it's difficult to explain the magic of woody allen's writing. if you've seen a few of his films, then you will at least understand the nature of his humour - dry, witty and at times so sarcastic it almost comes across as sincerity.

this definitely translates into his short stories. it gives him the ability to take the most mundane (a
Pardis Parto
Jul 12, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
خندیدن به.. خندیدن به از یک بازی شروع میشود. اختلالی کوتاه در نظرم نمادین یا یک جا به جایی بازیگوشانه در نظم جدی، خشک و مکرر زندگی. به این معنا، اگر خندیدن به... را از معنای غیراخلاقی آن تهی کنیم، باید بگویم که خندیدن همیشه به دستمایه ای، هرچند ناچیز نیاز دارد. به هر حال باید به چیزی خندید و بهترین دست مایه ها برای خندیدن، همیشه جدی ترین مسائل از کار درمی آیند.

وودی آلن در این مجموعه، انتقام خود را از مسائل مهمی همچون چاقی، جرایم سازماندهی شده، تحصیلات بزرگسالان، لیست های خشکشویی افراد مهم، روانک
Kathy  Olivos
Aug 28, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Este es el primer libro que leo de Woody Allen. Partamos por decir que soy fanática de sus películas, me encanta que estén llenas de referencias a la alta cultura y esa mirada cínica y existencialista de la vida que traspasa a sus guiones. Respecto al libro, pasó a ocupar el primer lugar de los textos que más me han hecho reír (seguido por Filosofía Política del Poder Mediático, y luego quizás vendría La Maravillosa Vida breve de Oscar Wao).

Son una serie de ensayos y relatos sobre temas complej
Abolfazl Fattahi
Jul 31, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
حالا بی حساب شدیم مجموعه طنزهای وودی آلن هست که انتقام خود را از مسائل مهمی همچون چاقی، جرایم سازمان دهی شده، تحصیلات بزرگسالان، لیست های خشکشویی افراد مهم، انقلابی های آمریکای لاتین و رونکاوی می گیرد و انصافا خیلی هم عالی و جذاب این کار و انجام می دهد، خیلی برای من پیش میاد وقتی کتاب های مختلف رو می خونم، نوع نوشتار نویسنده آزارم میده ولی وقتی این کتاب رو می خوندم فقط دوست داشتم به جلو حرکت کنم و باقی ماجرا رو بفهمم، یک احساس فوق العاده ای رو به آدم منتقل می کرد، برای کسانی که دوست دارند بنویسن ...more
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Which story was your favorite? 2 14 Dec 29, 2013 08:44AM  
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Heywood "Woody" Allen (born Allan Stewart Konigsberg) is a three-time Academy Award-winning American film director, writer, actor, jazz musician, comedian and playwright. His large body of work and cerebral film style, mixing satire, wit and humor, have made him one of the most respected and prolific filmmakers in the modern era. Allen writes and directs his movies and has also acted in the majori ...more
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“She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.” 30 likes
“These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks, he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks, Freud would let you treat him, and that included a choice of any two vegetables. Thirty dollars an hour! Fifty dollars an hour! The Kaiser only got twelve and a quarter for being Kaiser! And he had to walk to work! And the length of treatment! Two years! Five years! If one of us couldn’t cure a patient in six months we would refund his money, take him to any musical revue and he would receive either a mahogany fruit bowl or a set of stainless steel carving knives. I remember you could always tell the patients Jung failed with, as he would give them large stuffed pandas.” 13 likes
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