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There Is No Good Card for This: What To Say and Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love
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There Is No Good Card for This: What To Say and Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love

4.23  ·  Rating details ·  1,192 Ratings  ·  253 Reviews
The creator of the viral hit "Empathy Cards" teams up with a compassion expert to produce a visually stunning and groundbreaking illustrated guide to help you increase your emotional intelligence and learn how to offer comfort and support when someone you know is in pain.

When someone you know is hurting, you want to let her know that you care. But many people don’t know wh
ebook, 272 pages
Published January 17th 2017 by HarperOne
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Feb 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
You know how you always feel awkward when bad stuff is happening to people you care about? You never quite know what to say to or what to do. This book is a practical guide on how to be supportive in tough situations. I highly recommend this excellent book that is well worth the read!
❄️✨ Kat ✨❄️
It discusses what to do to help people who are in distress - what you can say, and if you aren't great at talking/listening, what you can do to help. It also states phrases that are very common, that really aren't that helpful.. such as "I know how you feel" or "Maybe you should (insert unwanted advice here.)" All in all, this is a great, super informing read.
Jan 25, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: life-101
This book should be mandatory reading for every human.
Feb 20, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2017
This book is such a good idea. All of us are faced with what to do or say when tragedy strikes family and friends. This books is colorful, has whimsical illustrations and talks about how to listen, what to say, how to act and what not to do. Did I learn very much? Not really yet it was so nice to be reminded that doing something, no matter how small is oh so important.
Aug 09, 2017 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
It's fantastic to encourage people to show up for others in need. People want to do this but often have no idea how, which is why this is a great topic for a book. I was very excited when I saw There Is No Good Card for This: What To Say and Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love. However, it was a lot less helpful than I thought it would be.

What I found helpful

The authors remind those receiving support to value what is being given even if it's not what they want and remind
Jan 19, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I loved this book, and wish everybody would read it. We've all been in the situation where someone we care about has had awful news or loss of some kind, and we WANT to help, but we're afraid. What if we say the wrong thing and upset them more? What if they don't want anyone to know, or bring it up? What if they cry?!

This book is a step-by-step guide (complete with delightful illustrations!) for navigating exactly these situations. It offers concrete examples and advice for being a more empathet
Mar 28, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
Everyone should read this! How many times in your life have you wanted to be helpful towards someone going through a rough patch but felt awkward about what to do or say? This book outlines how to really "be there" for others in terms even the most emotionally/socially backward among us can comprehend. Here's the great part--it doesn't take much! Turns out our smallest efforts can make the biggest difference for those we care about. Great resource for real life!
Rose Ann
Feb 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I think everyone should read this book! Whether you currently know someone in a crisis or not.
It really makes you step back and take a minute to realize how things you say (or don't say) affect people. And most listen.

So much more to say about this book....I have it littered with post-it's!

Easy to read!
Feb 17, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: goodreads-deals
2018 has been a rough year so far: a work colleague's house burned down, a dear friend had a mastectomy, an extended family member passed away. Tragedy has a terrible way of making me feel powerless in the wake of my loved one's suffering. This book helped me take back some control and work toward helping the people in my life. Main thoughts: DO SOMETHING - try to express your sympathy in some meaningful way, DON'T MAKE IT ABOUT YOU - and don't compare, JUST LISTEN - enough said. The illustratio ...more
Colona Public Library
Dec 12, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: ashley, non-fiction
I saw this book in an article that listed some books about self-improvement for the new year (Jan. 2018 is fast approaching!) And I thought this book was an incredible idea! I see and talk to so many patrons and when they are experiencing a loss or some hard times and I always wondered if I'm saying or doing the right things. If you can remember that your kindness is your credential, listening speaks volumes, and small gestures make a big difference then you will go a long way. This book covers ...more
Nov 30, 2017 rated it it was amazing
In the crazy, far-off land known as Corporate America, citizens are often required to take exams on certain topics (such as Cyber Security or Ethics) every year or so to make sure they're in a certain level of compliance. While draconian and annoying, it's just the way things go, and something I never thought much of until I read this book. Until I read this book, I never thought citizens in the actual world should have an analogue to this process, but now I believe that every year, every human ...more
Jan 24, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If you've ever had a family member, close friend or casual acquaintance go through something difficult, you've probably deliberated over whether or not to reach out, and how exactly to do that. You may have fretted over doing or saying the wrong thing. Until now, I've never come across a book that addresses this topic in a practical, yet humorous sort of way. A blend of social science research and quirky illustrations, this book is one-of-a-kind. It's an excellent primer on showing empathy and e ...more
Apr 18, 2017 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Didn't love this one. Not that it was bad - just not written in a way that I could relate to.
Jan 20, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Should be required reading for all people.
Jun 18, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2017
A great book for someone like me (i.e the socially awkward and ) Also good for regular people too
I would like to think I am an empathetic and supportive person, but my words and actions sometimes fail me, as they sometimes do many of us. This is a great book for encouraging us to reach out to one another when we need it most, despite the inevitable awkwardness and missteps. It presents the ways many of us have erred while also presenting better examples of words and actions we can use to show the care and support to others in need. Should be required reading for human beings. Will be endeav ...more
Oct 11, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This is an easy, but important, read. Everyone will eventually be on both sides of tough situations - either you will be in the tough situation, or you will be the friend, loved one, or acquaintance wondering what to say and do. There is both practical advice and a general explanation of empathy. So many people mean well, but either say or do nothing for those who are struggling, or they do damage through saying really hurtful things. Other than truly egregious things, it is usually better to er ...more
Mar 27, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was an excellent book. I'm buying a copy for my home library. Clearly written, to the point, and so useful in seeing my own issues with dealing with hurting people and recognizing it in how people have treated us during our hard times. This should be required reading for everyone!!!
Mar 22, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobook
Having run across a virulent stretch of bad news among co-workers and friends in the recent past, I’ve come to realize that I am probably not reaching out or responding in a way that matches my good intentions. I often stumble for the words to express my regret and to offer solace. I thought this book sounded like a good way to learn how to make this part of interacting with others a bit more accessible when needed.

I had a couple of other reasons to listen to this audiobook. First, I had read S
Thank the lord this is over. I am not cut out for non fiction.

This book was helpful but also silly. When I started this way back in January I was skeptical, some of the activities were too awkward for me to bother with, but then I unfortunately needed this book when an unfortunate event came along. I think when the “ what do I do??” Moments come up in life’s hard moments The book is helpful in offering opportunities to help, that one doesn’t normally think about.
Jun 07, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: in-my-office
This is a book I highly recommend for anyone who has ever wondered what to say to someone when they are hurting. This book is approachable, funny, and the illustrations help summarize the key concepts in highly accessible ways. I recommend this for teenagers and adults.
Devon Johnson
Jun 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Whelp. This book seems to have come at the exact right time for me. It was full of so many helpful tips I wish I could remember even more than have already landed with me so thoroughly. And within the week I have been presented with an opportunity to practice them all as my most beloved person in the entire world has received some frightening health news. If this book helps me love and support her better through this process then it has earned my eternal gratitude and an immediate upgrade to fiv ...more
Dec 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Honestly, I got this book to better understand my own reactions to how people were communicating with me after both my parents died. I often felt annoyed and angry and wasn’t totally sure why—especially when people were trying to be nice by calling me brave or strong. I also felt that I had been assigned an extra amount of responsibility over other people’s feelings because so many conversations I have still end up with me comforting other people for how they feel about my situation.

This is a h
Dec 04, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2017-read, nonfiction
This was an excellent wake-up call for me. I grabbed it just out of vague interest but this entire book has been a big lesson. I DO ALL THESE TERRIBLE THINGS! I give unwanted advice, I try to find ways to fix the problem, I push solutions, and I share my similar experiences because I always thought that it would help for them to know they aren't alone. I didn't even realize I was making things about me. So this book is a life-saver (or maybe a friend-saver?) because now I can stop driving people ...more
Nov 24, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: everyone who worries about what to say in a bad time
Full of excellent down to earth advice about what to say when confronted with someone you care about who is having a horrible event. It isn't full of pompous useless bromides such as "you'll be stronger because of this", or "learn something from this" or imply it is somehow their fault. It suggests the simple statements: "I'm so sorry". It suggests keep the conversation on the person in crisis. They can wait to hear your experience with your dying hamster another time. It suggests specific offer ...more
K. Lincoln
Sep 17, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I was given this book to read in preparation for a panel discussion about helping people in crisis-- I am a breast cancer treatment survivor who had to be convinced to accept help during my own chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery experiences.

At first, I was a bit dismissive. It's easy to mistake the brightly colored cover, the simply drawn faces, and the illustrated, highlighted sentences for sentimental'd be sadly mistaken. And you would miss out on the best, plainest advice
Janae Johnson
Nov 13, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is one of the best books I've read in a while. EVERYONE can benefit from this book. It has helped me boost my confidence in helping others, and given me the courage to let go of hesitation and just help others in anyway I know how. I loved how deep this book dove into the reasons why we hesitate, and how we need to be more forgiving of ourselves so that we are more willing to take the plunge and help others. I also appreciated the sections on good listening--especially since that is most of ...more
Alanna Jane
Jun 29, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Without a doubt, this is THE BEST book I have ever read on both dealing with, and supporting others through, grief and hard times. Honestly, I think this book should be required reading to get a pass as an adult!!

I have been through way more than my fair-share of trauma and now live with severe chronic pain. I have spent loads of time diving into the deep and dark stuff, and working hard to become a better human without losing my unique quirks. As life found new ways to test me, I blossomed mor
Apr 17, 2017 rated it really liked it
If you've ever struggled to know what to do for a friend or family member battling serious illness or any of life's other difficulties, this book is for you. Reaching out to someone in your life who is suffering isn't always easy, but this book gives you permission to attempt just that and provides ideas for doing so that allow you to stay within your own comfort zones. Sometimes when I want to help someone in need I find myself assuming that help from me would not be wanted. I plan to pull this ...more
Ramona Mead
Jun 27, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
This is an amazing, important book! The content could be dry and heavy, so is presented in a fun way that keeps the reader's attention and is easy to absorb. It's set up to be easily referenced in a time of need, and I know I'll do that some day. The point of the book is to guide people to respond to their loved ones crisis with empathy, compassion, and kindness. As an empath, it serves as a great reminder that dealing with feelings doesn't come easy for everyone. It also was helpful to remind m ...more
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“If we really want to have authentic connections with others, then we need to talk about two kinds of psychological baggage we tend to carry around, which make us completely self-conscious about our capacity to connect with people: (1) guilt about how we’ve let others down, and (2) resentment about being let down by others in the past.” 3 likes
“Empathy is when you use your imagination to expand your ability to feel compassion for people in situations beyond those you have experienced, maybe even in situations completely different from those you have known.” 1 likes
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