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Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching, and Life
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Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching, and Life

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4.03  ·  Rating details ·  416 ratings  ·  55 reviews
What questions lead to our biggest breakthroughs and successes? In this new and revised third edition, Marilee Adams describes how questions shape our thinking and how personal and organizational problems can often be traced to the kinds of questions we ask.

Drawing on decades of research and experience as a coach and consultant, Adams uses a highly instructive and entertai
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Paperback, 256 pages
Published January 11th 2016 by Berrett-Koehler Publishers
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Average rating 4.03  · 
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Viet Hung
Apr 13, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Effective, yet simple, framework

Love to start practising this. Will see how meditation can help with the self observer part as well. Coaches, you should read.
Bob
Dec 04, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: business
Summary: Builds on the insight that the kinds of questions we ask shape our actions, and focuses on learning to ask "learner" rather than "judger" questions.

Marilee Adams proposes that the kinds of questions we ask of ourselves and of others, whether they be spouses, work colleagues, or coachees, profoundly shape our actions and our lives. She calls this Question Thinking. She proposes that we choose between two types of paths, two types of questions: the Judger path and the Learner path. For ex
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Klyemann
Oct 22, 2019 rated it it was ok
while the underlying method might have some merit, most of the message gets lost in all the annoying fictional chitter chatter
Ihthisham Ikram
Nov 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Very effective for those people who are always worried about what their boss is thinking about them! Although this books talks from the perspective of a leader, I believe it is equally useful for a regular employee or any regular person!
Robert Ritzinger
This is a powerful book. Marilee Adams asks us to ask better questions. We need to ask better questions to come up with better answers.

This sounds simple of course, but it’s not. We need to ask ourselves better questions to change the internal dialogue in our head. When we change the questions we ask ourselves, we stop making assumptions about ourselves and everyone else. The results can be life changing.

Adam stipulates that the first thing you need to do is change your mindset and look inward f
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Pap Lőrinc
Apr 15, 2018 rated it really liked it
Am I Ben?
Amy
Dec 18, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: smart, 2018
I liked it but it’s not a great book for audible. You want to have the printouts in front of you or access to the websites. Lot of repetition too.
Cinthia
Apr 17, 2019 rated it liked it
The book could be summarize like this: be aware when we're being a judgmental asshole, try empathy instead. It's normal that our first reaction is to behave as a judgmental asshole, but we can re-wire our brain to change that mindset by changing our questions. We need to let go of our assumptions and try to understand the other people's point of vue and motivations. I found the concepts useful and I'm confident it's going to help how I communicate and relate with others.

The author explains her c
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Amy Rhoda  Brown
This book presents a question-based framework for several self-management/emotional intelligence skills. It's structured as a narrative, with fictional characters.

The skills presented are the ability to recognize one's own stress response (characterized in the book as "Judger hijack") and to manage it by changing one's perception of the situation, seeking more information, or seeking perspective. The tools presented for developing these skills are questions.

The book presents a useful framework a
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Elizabeth Schlatter
Very accessible (veering on cheesy) way to manage and change your mindset from judger to learner. The beginning of the book is a bit confusing -- it's written by Marilee Adams, but the bulk of the book is a tale about a guy who learns and applies Adams' questioning technique. For some reason that sort of threw me off. But when I figured that out it was all fine and the ideas are very applicable for work as well as elsewhere. Adams essentially helps you use mindfulness (although I don't think she ...more
Kirti Chandra
Dec 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed every word of this book, its worth the time and money. Actually, it can change your life, if at all you give what it teaches a little practice and make it your habit. New habits can be a bit hard to be formed, but doing them till they seem easy is something courageous and amazing that anyone can do for themselves. And I hope that I am able to do that myself.

My favorite quotes from the book:

"Accept Judger and practice Learner - moment by moment by moment."

"Being able to nonjudgmentally
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Carly
Oct 26, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2017
This book is awesome. There is nothing earth-shattering in here that hasn't been covered in a million self-help books - the basic premise that we always have a choice as to how we react to something, either positively or negatively - but she makes it real for the business world. In the story of Ben, she asks all the questions to I found myself asking, as a leader in a large organization, to validate this method would work in the workplace. We tend to operate under the false assumptions that lead ...more
Susie
Mar 26, 2019 rated it really liked it
It took me a little while to get used to the narrative style, which I think is pretty unique for this type of book. However, once I did I found the book enjoyable and the concepts clear. I found some similarities between some of the key Question Thinking (QT) concepts and Crucial Conversations principles, for example focusing on facts, not stories, and asking open ended questions. As someone with a background in Crucial Conversations, I think QT is complimentary to the Crucial Conversations fram ...more
B
Jul 21, 2020 rated it it was ok
I wish the epilogue had been the whole book. I can see a few useful things in here that I would carry forward in my own leadership and coworker experiences but the book loses a star for its narrative style. I was so bored and annoyed with the way the lessons were told through a fictional story of a grumpy and arrogant new manager. The whole thing, especially the dialogue, felt very baby-ish. The cheat sheet of 12 skills is mildly interesting and the “choice map” is a good mental cue but again ve ...more
Ned
Jun 24, 2017 rated it liked it
The book is organized as a story and teaches the importance of asking questions to uncover and challenge the inner assumptions we all have. It illustrates that the judge mindset doesn't yield beneficial results so we need to switch to learning and then breakthrough happen. The upper hand in any argument is with the person that is in the learner mindset and ask question. Overall if you like getting some lessons in a story form it is a good book, otherwise the essence could be summarized in a shor ...more
Sokry Boramy
Sep 15, 2018 rated it really liked it
Don’t you believe that your brain functionality is created to believe what you want to believe? To think what you want to think in order to find solution? For example in calculus class where you are told about a theorem and you solved a problem using that theorem coz you believed it at least true for that moment of solving and you then asked your brain to think of its way. Similarly, to life problem, ask right question is a start of every solving problem...
Dwayne A Milley
May 17, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Questions!!

Great book. Obviously, by the title, it’s all about asking the right questions to get ourselves on the right path. I read this for a school assignment, and I’m glad I did. I think this book must have been referenced by other authors, because I’ve used some of the practices the author references here, but I’ve never read this before. Very practical. Very helpful. I’ll be applying Adams’ advice.
Mohandas
Jul 16, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Transformative

Demonstrates the power of asking the right type of questions. I have always been an answer man, but after reading this book, I have changed my approach, asking open ended questions rather than giving answers. As a result I now find people taking more ownership...I find them more motivated and happy. I also find that they are improving and growing more confident. Therefore I call the book transformative!
Kay Hempsall
Oct 27, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A really practical and helpful book

Every situation presents opportunities to learn and grow - we get stuck when we fixate on one perspective - this book provides a set of questions to help find greater balance and peace of mind through finding better ways to think about what is happening.
Susan
Nov 01, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I wanted to like this more. I wanted it to be more enlightening. Maybe it hit too close to home or maybe it was just a bit too elementary for my taste. There are a few good mental tricks for changing your mindset when approaching problems, but it could have been boiled down way sooner and way easier.
GSugar
Jul 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book. Easy read that gets you thinking.

The story of Ben and the rest of the crew in this book is a fantastic introduction to the concepts of question thinking (QT). I appreciated the succinct summary and exercises at the end of the book where the author lists the concepts and discusses in a workbook style potential exercises for practicing and implementing the concepts.
Louise
Sep 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
Told as a parable, this is an easy-to-digest book that outlines how important your questions are. I enjoyed the simple yet powerful Judger/Leaner concepts, as well as the choice map and brainstorming questions. This edition came with a workbook at the back that allows you to practise some of the principles. A good read that I'll likely refer back to in future. ...more
Kelly Phipps
Jan 14, 2020 rated it liked it
My first book of the year is usually an annual dive into a read that promises to mentally tune or align me up for the days ahead. This book wasn't entirely bad - in fact, it was helpful in learning how to ask a series of questions about any challenge one faces with the hope of transitioning from a "judge" to a "learner." ...more
Beverly Rouse
Oct 17, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is a must read for everyone. How you look at situations in your life and how you ask questions shape relationships. If you want a different result, consider the question. I love how Marilee Adams challenges our "judging" ...more
Hannah Dawson
Apr 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Question thinking is something that I’ve used while reading this book to improve personal relationships. This book was easy to read and has life changing content. The choice map now hangs in my home office and I hope to reference it more often as conflict arises.
Marcos Barros
Apr 21, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The best way to direct your decision making

Being a big fan of using questions to clarify and guide your thinking process, I was delighted and touched by the clarity and easiness of storytelling style of this book. I loved every bit of it and read it in a day.
Michael
Apr 24, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: leadership
A great book! It is consistent with other books I’ve read about helping us to re-engage the prefrontal cortex to help us think more rationally and regain our agency. But I like the approach of looking at the questions we ask. The Choice Map has been a helpful tool.
Danny T
Aug 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Extremely helpful and enlightening

I bought this book to help me with coaching, but I gained so much more. As a leader, as a coach, as a husband this book has given me practical tools to improve my communication in all areas of my life
Daphne
Oct 06, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Why all the repetition?

Please writers stop summarising over and over again. Do you assume readers are stupid? Or do you not have enough words to fill a book. It is like US TV shows, always repeating.
Maya
Jan 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
this book fundamentally changed how I approach my professional life. I honestly have given it to all my friends and several peers.
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Marilee Adams, Ph.D., is an author, executive coach, facilitator, and professional speaker. She is president and founder of the Inquiry Institute, a consulting, coaching, and educational organization and the originator of the QUESTION THINKING™ methodologies.

Marilee is the author of Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching and Life, 3rd edition, a best-se
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  If you listen to NPR regularly, you’ve likely heard the voice of Shankar Vedantam, the longtime science correspondent and host of the radio...
17 likes · 3 comments
“Blame keeps us stuck in the past. Responsibility paves the path for a better future. Blame” 1 likes
“Maybe an example Joseph gave us would make this clearer. It had to do with a study that was done with two comparable basketball teams. Team A was coached with an emphasis on preventing mistakes on the court. Day after day, they reviewed videos that focused on their errors. Those mistakes got grooved in their brains. By contrast, Team B was coached with an emphasis on building on their successes. Day after day, they reviewed videos that focused on their most successful plays. So Team B’s successes got grooved in their brains. “To put it simply, Team A focused on what was wrong. Team B focused on what was right. I’m sure you can guess which team had the greatest improvement by the end of the season.” 1 likes
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