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The Curse of the Self: Self-Awareness, Egotism, and the Quality of Human Life

4.26  ·  Rating details ·  156 ratings  ·  12 reviews
Despite its obvious advantages, our ability to be self-reflective comes at a high price. Few people realize how profoundly their lives are affected by self-reflection or how frequently inner chatter interferes with their success, pollutes their relationships with others, and undermines their happiness. By allowing people to ruminate about the past or imagine what might hap ...more
Paperback, 226 pages
Published January 4th 2007 by Oxford University Press, USA (first published 2004)
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Dierregi
Nov 27, 2014 rated it it was amazing
If you read only one book in your life, make it this one. Written in simple but not dull prose, this book tells you what to do to avoid the worst pitfalls of consciousness, and to make your living experience as stress-free and less painful as possible. This is clearly no small achievement and requires your active co-operation.

Even if you are absolutely not into meditation, you will learn that most of our “pastimes” aim at achieving the same result of “losing one’s self” into different activities
...more
Minh Vu
Dec 31, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Self-esteem is not the reason why we strive to success, or the necessary virtue that makes us successful - only does it appear to be resulted from being successful while having moral values. Understanding that, I try to find the right solution for my problems, which is self-compassion, something I could not do for myself.
I learned the important difference between self-compassion and self-esteem from this book, as well as the importance of the first decency to living a happier life. At first, I u
...more
Johnny Andrade
Oct 03, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Another awesome book. This is my 98th book of the year. Lots of interesting information about how are minds often deceive us and work against us.

How fortuitously serendipitous is our luck that we just happen to follow the one true religion, and also live in the greatest country on earth, and we’re all born into the most noble and virtuous race/tribe? Also your dad could beat up anyone else’s dad. Our minds are constantly blinded from thinking rationally by egocentric bias.

When we experience ro
...more
Maher Razouk
Jan 24, 2021 rated it it was amazing
لو كان الناس يقلقون فقط بشأن الأشياء التي لديها احتمالية معقولة للحدوث ، ولو كان القلق دائمًا يساعدهم على التعامل بشكل أكثر فعالية مع الأحداث المستقبلية ، فإن القدرة على القلق ستكون هدية عظيمة. ولكن الحقيقة هي أن معظم القلق غير ضروري. ربما معظم الأشياء التي يقلق الناس بشأنها لا تحدث أبدًا ، وحتى عندما تحدث ، نادرًا ما يكون القلق بشأنها شيئاً مفيدًا. وعند النظر إلى الماضي ، من المرجح أن يقول الناس : «لم يكن هناك أي سبب لكل ذلك القلق» بدلاً من «كنت أتمنى لو أنني قلقتُ أكثر!»
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Mark R. Leary
The Curse
...more
Neil H
Sep 07, 2020 rated it it was amazing
If I have learnt anything from living close to less than a century of a life. Its this. I have no idea what to make of myself and those I see around me. A vast hoch poch of contradictions, misnomers and poppy cocking. This book makes the psychedelics of living life lean a little more to a spectrum which we can view ourselves. As ego, self love (too much) hence all the worries about what happens tomorrow, yesterday and how that bastard on the street took my cab. A preservation of self image to th ...more
Leonardo
Sep 14, 2018 marked it as to-keep-reference
In The Curse of the Self the social psychologist Mark Leary points out that many other animals can think, but none, so far as we know, spend much time thinking about themselves. Only a few other primates (and perhaps dolphins) can even learn that the image in a mirror belongs to them.

The Happiness Hypothesis Pág.206-207
...more
Bacon Sandwich
Oct 24, 2020 rated it really liked it
This is a really good book, amongst the best I've read for modern popular psychology books (up there with Haidt, Tavris, Kurzban, Horney). I find it curious how such good books cannot catch on as well as bloated others. It is well written and easy to read. Reviews many of the human deficiencies in ways of thinking that lead to struggles in life and society, citing good examples and studies, and is excellent complement to understanding modern civilization and politics. ...more
Gau Guedes
Aug 24, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Simply the best psychology book I’ve ever read! Self-quieting, self-control, diminishing ego defensiveness and fostering ego-skepticism, makes so sense and it feels so logic as a path to achieve a better human being that I find it extremely hard to prove otherwise. A scientific perspective of what religions and philosophical doctrines have been teaching us for millenniums. This is definitely a book to revisit on a regular basis. 5 stars!
Gaudencio Guedes
Sep 01, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Simply the best psychology book I’ve ever read! Self-quieting, self-control, diminishing ego defensiveness and fostering ego-skepticism, makes so sense and it feels so logic as a path to achieve a better human being that I find it extremely hard to prove otherwise. A scientific perspective of what religions and philosophical doctrines have been teaching us for millenniums. This is definitely a book to revisit on a regular basis. 5 stars!
Natasha
Feb 22, 2017 rated it really liked it
this is a very interesting and thought provoking book. It's not an easy read, it's very dense with descriptions of research experiments and feels like a college class study material. I'm very glad I read it. I learned a lot and will practice new things I learned. If you struggle, like I did, to finish this book, don't put it away until you read at least the last chapter. ...more
Kolo
Jan 28, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Awesome book. Highly recommend...
Geovi
Sep 25, 2011 added it
great book
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