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Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living

Shauna Niequist,

Brené Brown (Goodreads Author) (foreword)

3.83 · Rating details · 46,386 ratings · 3,684 reviews

LIVE A LIFE OF MEANING AND CONNECTION
Instead of pushing for perfection

A few years ago, I found myself exhausted and isolated, my soul and body sick. I was tired of being tired, burned out on busy. And, it seemed almost everyone I talked with was in the same boat: longing for connection, meaning, depth, but settling for busy.

I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, ne ...more

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Hardcover, 240 pages

Published August 9th 2016 by Zondervan

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Aug 22, 2016 Annie Rim rated it liked it

Shelves: reviews

I was drawn to Shauna Niequist's newest book, Present Over Perfect because its title seemed to indicate our current season. I quickly realized that Niequist's life and my life are vastly different. While I'm learning to live with a messy playroom, Niequist is finding balance by saying no to Big Opportunities and Flashy Job Offers. She's learning to settle in at home with a cup of tea and her family. Perhaps it's harder for someone with a lot of opportunities to say no and to find that balance. I ...more

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Aug 30, 2016 Callie rated it did not like it

Shelves: read-in-2016

1.5/5 stars.

I have never read anything by Shauna Niequist, but I see her books everywhere. So when I saw Present Over Perfect available for review, I thought, why not?

Niequist is known (to me) for her food memoir, so I knew this book would be a bit of a departure, but I was excited to give it a try. However, I would not recommend reading this book. As so many books I have read lately, I felt this one had positive and negative elements, but the negative elements definitely outweighed the positiv ...more

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Jan 26, 2017 Morgan rated it did not like it

Shelves: 2017

Where to begin with this review...I think first the positive. First and foremost, this book should be called a memoir. It should not be read for spiritual instruction, but since Niequist has assumed the role of an author, speaker, and teacher, no doubt readers are coming to her for instruction. If I were rating this book simply on writing style and relatability to the author's struggle for simplicity, for being present over perfect, I would give it a 4. But as a believer in Jesus Christ, I strug Where to begin with this review...I think first the positive. First and foremost, this book should be called a memoir. It should not be read for spiritual instruction, but since Niequist has assumed the role of an author, speaker, and teacher, no doubt readers are coming to her for instruction. If I were rating this book simply on writing style and relatability to the author's struggle for simplicity, for being present over perfect, I would give it a 4. But as a believer in Jesus Christ, I struggle to give it a 1.

Some reviewers will call me fundamentalist or conservative, but there is a reason the Holy Spirit gives us a spirit of discernment, and my discernment sensors were on full blast throughout this book. Mentions of spiritual directors (both she and her husband see Jesuit priests as their spiritual directors), and practices of Catholicism and mysticism left me beyond wary of Niequist. She mentions this new meeting she and her husband have started at Willow Creek Church (where her father Bill Hybels is the lead pastor), called The Practice. The Eucharist takes center stage as does teachings from Rabbis, Jesuits, and other interfaith leaders. This was a red flag....interfaith teachers...and we're all sharing communion? Spiritual practices such as centering prayer are encouraged. With very little research one can quickly find that centering prayer has its roots in the occult.

Perhaps even more disconcerting is the author's own admission of not having grasped grace until this point in her life, that she has" competed, feared, proved, and hustled," but that grace has eluded her. And yes, grace is a hard pill for all of us to swallow! We're not worthy of it, we don't want to be indebted to anyone. But when we come to the point of our salvation, we cannot help but be overwhelmed with gratitude and praise for amazing grace! How I longed for that in this book! And sure, we struggle with continued efforts of self-righteousness, but God in his great mercy always brings us back to his gospel of grace.

And that was completely lacking for me. Very, very little emphasis was placed on Jesus, the gospel, Scripture, or grace while overwhelming ink was given to counselors, spiritual directors, and practices of spiritual formation. And why is this all so disconcerting? Because over the past decade, Niequist has published four books, all geared toward an audience of Christian women. Because in the past decade, Niequst has made her rounds at Christian women's conferences as a speaker and workshop leader. Because in the past decade, she and her husband have been leading in a prominent mega church in Chicago, her husband previously the worship leader there. And prior to that both were on staff at another large church in Michigan.

Honestly, this terrifies me that this book hit the NYT bestsellers list immediately, that so many women look to Niequist's voice for "spiritual direction" (to use one of her favorite terms).

LADIES, we have a spiritual director and counselor. His name is Holy Spirit. We have a mediator of grace. His name is Jesus Christ. We can hear the voice of God. It is called the Word of God, the Bible. We have grace, we have freedom, we have all we need in the Word and with the direction of our spiritual director. While there is nothing wrong with learning from other faiths and ancient practices, if they lead us astray from the gospel, we must always, always be wary! Overall, this book is laden with a smorgasbord of Catholicism, mysticism, and New Age practices. I cannot recommend it or anything else produced by Niequist. ...more

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Aug 02, 2016 Von rated it liked it

I WANTED to like this book, really I did, and to be honest there were a few chapters I really appreciated. However, I just don't think I can relate very well to the context of the struggle. It's really hard for me to connect to someone that has the luxury of going away from life every summer to a lake house or Lake Geneva and leaving things behind. I kept wondering why things were so tough for a person that has two healthy kids, a loving/wonderful husband, and annual get-away destination. I foun ...more

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Jan 12, 2017 Angela Mushrush rated it did not like it

I stopped on page 70. I just can't believe this is a book and I'm embarrassed and kind of angry that I bought it. There are some truths in this book. Basically that she's addicted to working and is really rich and blah blah blah. She could have summed this book up in about a paragraph on her Facebook account. I waited for her to say how she became present over perfect but she just kept talking about vacations and describing places (like Hawaii) of complete serenity where her in laws were keeping ...more

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Nov 01, 2016 Danielle rated it it was ok

Some good nuggets in here and a good theme, overall. But super repetitive (super!!!) and felt a bit thrown together. Like, her editor called her to badger her about a new book and she said, "no! I'm done hustling! I'm taking a break and getting back to my core!" And her editor said, "great! Write about that! I need it in a week!" It has that messy, mid-journey memoir, right-in-the-thick-of-it feel to it. It very easily could have been (probably should have been) a magazine article. ...more

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Jun 17, 2017 Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader rated it really liked it

Another positive audiobook focused on simplifying life. Some helpful tips here and lots of acceptance.

2017 Summer Vacation Book #1 (Audio #1)

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Aug 25, 2016 Jennifer rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2016-books, personal-improvement

I am a fan of Shauna Niequist's honest and approachable style. Her devotional Savor: Living Abundantly Where You Are, As You Are is one I've relied on for the past couple of years.

Having read probably 10 books about "slowing down" and "simplifying," I'm never quite sure if I'll glean anything new from a book or if it will just be more of the same. I'm not sure if Niequist's writing just resonates so well with me, if I was desperate to hear the message, or if this book is really that good, but th ...more

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Feb 15, 2017 Mollie rated it did not like it

I did not learn anything from this book. The best thing about it was the title. The rest was her complaining about how busy she is and how she isn't going to write books anymore—while she is writing a book. I wish it had more practical advice, or even just wisdom about what matters in life versus what doesn't. Instead it felt like a lot of self-loathing followed by peace followed by more self- loathing. ...more

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Feb 12, 2017 Rebecca rated it it was ok

I think there were nuggets of good thoughts here and there in this book, but overall, I was overwhelmed by the serious lack of recognition of privilege throughout. I had to wonder if someone making a low to middle-range income had read a manuscript at any point through the editing process. It might have helped. I think the fact that I heard a ton of hype about this book may have set me up for disappointment, but still.

That said, if you happen to be someone who is free to choose your own work ho ...more

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Mar 10, 2019 Christy rated it it was ok

Shelves: 2019-three-stars-and-below, 2019-non-fiction-challenge, 2019-audio

2.5 stars

I struggled with this one. It had some good insights, but overall was repetitive for me and was hard for me to get into. Oh well, on to the next one...

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Oct 07, 2016 Rebecca rated it it was amazing

This book spoke to me so deeply. The whole book is wonderful, but three things in particular pervaded my recent thinking.

It’s ok for life to be less impressive on the outside. This might mean fewer vacations, fewer blog posts, and fewer parties, because being home and being with our loved ones leaves a space that is “beautiful and peaceful and full of life and connection, what I was looking for all along.” A Romanian saying I learned from my step-father-in-law is “They will not build a statue of This book spoke to me so deeply. The whole book is wonderful, but three things in particular pervaded my recent thinking.

It’s ok for life to be less impressive on the outside. This might mean fewer vacations, fewer blog posts, and fewer parties, because being home and being with our loved ones leaves a space that is “beautiful and peaceful and full of life and connection, what I was looking for all along.” A Romanian saying I learned from my step-father-in-law is “They will not build a statue of you in the parking lot!” But Niequist takes it one step further into our spiritual lives by reminding us we aren’t building a castle or a monument, we are building a soul and a family. We can choose not to spend our lives at the altars of productivity, capability, busyness and distraction, even if those altars include “godly” pursuits such as volunteering and helping with church activities. Rather we can choose less commitments and more time with those we love for meaning, connection, love, and freedom.

She also writes passionately about prayer, about bringing all our whole selves to God, as we all knew how to do as children. But somewhere as we grew up we learned to “only bring our achievement or our desperate apologies for the lack of achievement, as though God is the foreman of the factory, punching our time cards.” Wow, what a thought. I have definitely been unintentionally doing this, only bringing thanks for my achievements or apologies for my failings instead of simply pouring out my heart and soul to God, including all the small hurts and enormous fears.

Finally, she encapsulates succinctly and strikingly the current culture’s message to women, to be, “really skinny and really tired. If I could shrink and hustle, I’d be right there, skinny and tired . . . The messages of the world say in no uncertain terms: ruin yourself, and starve yourself. Wring yourself out. Ignore your hunger, your soul, your sickness, your longing.” Niequist states unequivocally she will not live there anymore, and I’m with her. Instead, we can choose to be countercultural, to be rested, full of grace and nourishment. “I will practice hospitality to my very own body—you can rest, you can be nourished, you can be loved. And I’ll also practice hospitality to my complicated feelings about my body. Because they’re a part of me, too.”

I can’t recommend this book highly enough.
...more

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Oct 07, 2016 Amy rated it did not like it

Shelves: christian, self-help

Shauna repeats herself WAY too much, I felt like I was reading a blog post about the same thing over and over again. Is this book a memoir or self-help? very selfishly written if she truely meant to inspire. the premise is good, but how??? no meat whatsoever, especially if you're looking for truth based on the Bible. I have never given such a low review, I almost feel bad, but she says in her book that she isn't looking for accolades from others anymore, so... oh well! ...more

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Dec 03, 2017 Maureen rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This was so great as well as so convicting. I loved all of it, and the audiobook is fantastic!

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Jan 12, 2018 Irene McHugh rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: audiobook, non-fiction, wish-i-d-never-wasted-my-time

Let me save you time and money. Shauna Niequist’s plan to practice a life being present over perfect is completely dependent on you strengthening your relationship with God.

It’s a God book. A memoir about how busy she was, and her messy, messy, oh so messy life. It’s a collection of disjointed essays that happen to be written in chronological order about how she dealt with her own issues through prayer and redefining her relationship with God.

For most of this book, I was rolling my eyes. As an a Let me save you time and money. Shauna Niequist’s plan to practice a life being present over perfect is completely dependent on you strengthening your relationship with God.

It’s a God book. A memoir about how busy she was, and her messy, messy, oh so messy life. It’s a collection of disjointed essays that happen to be written in chronological order about how she dealt with her own issues through prayer and redefining her relationship with God.

For most of this book, I was rolling my eyes. As an atheist, her entire solution is a fairy tale. If other people find her ideas and writing helpful, fine. I have no issue with Christians who want to spend their time and money on an audiobook that reinforces their beliefs.

But could the publisher maybe mention God in the book summary? Given that praying to build a better relationship with God is the only actionable solution that Niequist offers, I’m guessing the publisher realized that few people would buy this book if they did disclose the limited advice. Christians or religious people could easily go talk to their spiritual leader and probably get better advice personalized for them from that person rather than listening to Niequist whine about her own success.

What truly frustrated me was my own sense of hope. Early in the book, Niequist had an essay describing the people in life residing in concentric circles. The innermost circle houses the people we cherish, and as the circles widen, the outermost circle contains people we can disappoint. I found that particular visual helpful. I kept holding out hope that there would be more thoughtful essays that had nothing to do with God. While that visual is not a practical solution that I can place on a “to do”list, it is a mental model that I can remember the next time I’m “offered an opportunity” that is anything but.

Live and learn. I should have researched who Niequist was and saved myself the frustration of listening to her spiritual journey to get closer to God. ...more

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Apr 05, 2018 Brooke — brooklynnnnereads rated it really liked it

As someone who can get caught up in the act of perfectionism and the frantic lifestyle, I really took away a lot from the content of this book. If you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, this book may be a helpful tool for change.

Although the author and I live drastically different lifestyles, I can relate to her struggles as well as the desires she has for her life. This book was a good reminder to refocus on what my priorities are in life and I found her stories profoundly relatable ...more

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Jan 11, 2017 Rene rated it did not like it

This may be for some. But definitely not for me.
Poorly written. I felt so much was left out. The word whining comes to mind and narcissism...
definitely not for me.

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Aug 02, 2016 Ioana rated it liked it

Shelves: book-reviews, net-galley, project-dayzero-3, read-in-2016, christian, non-fiction-inspirational

I'm always curious of Shauna's new books, although I have realized long ago that I'm not always the targeted audience of everything she writers. I don't resonate with everything she writes about in this book, but there have been some aspects that rang true and caught my attention.

Shauna Niequist tells stories from her personal discovery of what it means to have way too much on your plate, saying "yes" to one more thing, but forgetting what is important and what should be a priority. The author m I'm always curious of Shauna's new books, although I have realized long ago that I'm not always the targeted audience of everything she writers. I don't resonate with everything she writes about in this book, but there have been some aspects that rang true and caught my attention.

Shauna Niequist tells stories from her personal discovery of what it means to have way too much on your plate, saying "yes" to one more thing, but forgetting what is important and what should be a priority. The author makes several references to her family, her husband and children, and this automatically makes a distinction between those who can relate to this life and those who aren't in that season of life. It's not a deal breaker, but something that should be mentioned. You know, the busy wife&mom life VS those who aren't that.

Another thing worth mentioning is that sometimes it feels like she keeps saying the same thing over and over again. In a way it makes sense since the core of what she's writing is not some big theology, although it can be looked at from different perspectives. This is something I find in most non-fiction (especially Christian) books: the author has the idea, and that idea is turned every possible way to make a book out of it. Now, luckily, Shauna Niequist is good with words - I like how she writes, I like how she chooses the right word for the right sentence. Sometimes she goes the long way to make a point, and while this can be slightly hard to follow, one can look at it as her writing style. Others see this as rambling.

On to what I definitely like: I highlighted quite a bit, so that should be enough evidence that I did like this book. My favorite parts were those that referenced to prayer. Adopting this new mantra of slowing down and being mindful of what she accepts in her schedule meant a shift in the way she looks at prayer. "[God] has all the time in the world to sit with me and sift through my fears and feelings and failings. That’s what prayer is. That’s what love is like. (...) He doesn’t ask me to show up and catalog my strengths. He doesn’t ask me to show up and abuse myself for my failings. He asks me to bring my whole-fragile-strong-weak-good-bad self. (...) He is love itself, grace embodied, holding the fullness of who we are—strong, weak, good, bad, wild, fearful, brave, silly—in his hands. He can be trusted with every part of it, the silly and the enormous." What she's saying is that prayer is not a brief meeting where we ask for direction when we're stuck, or give the run-down of how we did things - prayer is something that binds us with God. If not for something else, the passages about it are worth reading the book for.

Another thing that I particularly liked was how she linked being still to coming to terms with who you are & who you are meant to be. Because "it’s only when we’re truly alone that we can listen to our lives and God’s voice speaking out from the silence." We can ignore what we are called to do and be, or we can live fulfilling our calling. This, too, is something worth reading the book for. Probably given the life stage I'm in, the words had a bigger impact, and they were most welcome.

Although I'm not one of those people who have a lot going on and feel the pressure to make a big sacrifice to rise to the expectations imposed on me, there sure was something valuable I took from this book, as I'm sure everyone will. That is, if you don't make up your mind to see this book as another one in a long list of Christian non-fiction books written by middle-class, middle-age women (wife&mom, naturally). In no way is my life similar to hers, but some things are generally true, no matter the lifestyle differences.

I received an ebook from the publisher via Net Galley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts expressed here are my own. ...more

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Jan 11, 2016 Jennifer rated it really liked it

A 4.5 for me. A really strong (good) message about not hustling. Almost feels like she can see into my brain.

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Jan 07, 2019 Amy marked it as gave-up

I thought this would be like Brene Brown's work: accessible social science, with vaguely spiritual overtones and practical self-help tactics. This book turned out to be more like a Christian memoir. The religious language was off-putting for me (though I see other reviewers feel the author was not Christian *enough*) -- but I kept reading, subbing in humanist ideas for the religious parts to make it more relatable (e.g. thinking of my meditation/reflection/gratitude practice when she speaks of p ...more

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Jan 07, 2016 Sarah rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2016, faith, reread, on-my-shelf, memoir, nonfiction, 5-star-reads, standalone

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm convinced Shauna Niequist is me, just 12 years older and with an excessive love of cheese I'll never be able to share. Basically everything she writes hits me squarely in the heart and tells me exactly what I need to hear right when I need it most. This one was no exception. Full review to come. ...more

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Jul 27, 2016 Christy Ryan rated it it was ok

Hmmmm. Not what I thought. This type of book is truly my favorite type of non fiction. I love books on balance, busyness and best yes. My night stand is full of them. Love the title and the concept of slowing down and giving your best to those in your home first. But, I felt like I was drowning in so much new age thinking that this one just wasn't for me. ...more

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Mar 06, 2017 Melody Warnick rated it it was amazing

That thing when you read a book that is exactly what you need at this precise moment in your life? Yeah, I love when that happens.

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Sep 21, 2016 Stacy rated it it was ok

I'm going to agree with many of the reviews that this was more of a memoir then any kind of self-help book. It was like reading her diary. It seemed repetitive and very biblical off for me at various points. It was an easy read but I was disappointed. I was expecting more encouragement on my own path to a life of simplicity. I don't recommend this book unless you enjoy reading someone's diary of thoughts and struggles. I do recommend The Best Yes by Lysa Terkurest, Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Fre ...more

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Oct 15, 2016 Lori rated it it was ok

I really enjoyed the book "Bread and Wine", but I struggled to finish this one. Too repetitive and the new age religious tone of this book, well lets just say I'm not a fan. ...more

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Dec 30, 2016 Amy rated it really liked it

If you want to start your next year out right, this book is for you. Niequist really explores our lack of presence in our lives as this becomes overshadowed by busy schedules and pleasing the wrong people in our lives. Basically, this book is giving you the side-eye, overcommitted extrovert. You know it is!

Shauna shares her own struggles of overcommitting, guilt about what she isn’t doing, and how we look for validation through social media instead of the people sharing our home.

Yup, it hit me r ...more

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Aug 19, 2016 Elizabeth Moore rated it it was amazing

"...and the soul felt its worth." ...more

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Feb 03, 2018 Kelly added it

Shelves: non-fiction, read-in-2018

If you're not a person of faith -- like me -- you can easily skim over that stuff and/or fill it in with whatever your spiritual preference is.

That said: I don't think she goes there deep enoough. Niequist realized she was filling her life with tasks and to-do lists and that she needed to make things more simple. To say "no" more. And yet, there's no real reflection upon why. "I want to be more present" would be worth really diving into, and yet, it's all superficial.

There's nothing new in here ...more

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Oct 17, 2016 Samantha Baruzzini rated it it was amazing

Sometimes you read a book and it feels good to finish something. Then there are books that move me. Bring tears to my eyes. Convict me of needing to find and rediscover pieces of myself and my soul and connection to God. To make the time for quiet and stillness and prayer. For creating and recreating furniture and art and song. That is this book. I haven't picked up and finished one so quickly amidst my busy-with-life frantic mindset in a long time. It will be one that stays on the shelf, to be ...more

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Jan 22, 2018 Catherine rated it it was amazing

There is a certain peace and freedom found in these pages. Today I decided I would read this book. And I did. All day. It's the only thing I did, really. And I'm glad. I'm in this same season of stripping away, deciding what I can and can't do and learning how to say no. Learning how to say yes. And learning how to jump. And sometimes, well, all the time, God gives us exactly what we need when we need it most.
Today it was this book. ...more

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The Grounds' Book...: "Present Over Perfect"	1	4	Jul 24, 2018 01:36PM
Paper & Glam Book...: July 2017: Present Over Perfect	14	135	Jul 26, 2017 05:37PM
Paper & Glam Book...: July Book Club Read - On Sale TODAY!	2	110	May 13, 2017 12:22PM
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About Shauna Niequist

Shauna Niequist

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Shauna Niequist is the author of Cold Tangerines, Bittersweet, and Bread & Wine. Shauna grew up in Barrington, Illinois, and then studied English and French Literature at Westmont College in Santa Barbara. She is married to Aaron Niequist, who is a pianist and songwriter. Aaron is a worship leader at Willow Creek Community Church and is recording a project called A New Liturgy. Aaron & Shauna live ...more

Books by Shauna Niequist

Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes

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Savor: Living Abundantly Where You Are, As You Are

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“The world will tell you how to live, if you let it. Don’t let it. Take up your space. Raise your voice. Sing your song. This is your chance to make or remake a life that thrills you.” — 43 likes

“What kills a soul? Exhaustion, secret keeping, image management.

And what brings a soul back from the dead? Honesty, connection, grace” — 38 likes

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