The Book Of Tells

by Peter Collett

A TELL IS AN ACTION THAT TELLS YOU WHAT SOMEONE IS THINKING, EVEN IF THAT PERSON DOESN'T KNOW IT THEMSELVES. AND TELLS ARE HIGHLY INFORMATIVE...The way you stand when you're talking to others, how you move your feet, your hands, your eyes - even your eyebrows - says a lot about your commitment to a conversation and your underlying attitude. Your actions and stance can also affect how long you get to talk and how often you get interrupted. Even when you're seated, the position of your arms and legs provides a wealth of information about your mood and intentions, showing whether you feel dominant or submissive, preoccupied or bored. But Tells aren't confined merely to conversations; when you are alone you are constantly shifting your body - and each movement, each gesture provides clues about your state of mind. In this illuminating book, Peter Collett, social psychologist, former Oxford don and Big Brother's resident psychologist, introduces us to the fascinating concept of Tells, showing how they work, where they come from and how to identify and iterpret them. Whilst sentizing readers to the motives and actions of other people, this invaluable guide also focuses on the messages that we unwittingly send, and the impact that these might have on those around us. Comprehensive and accessible in its approach, and written in the tradition of the international bestseller, Manwatching, THE BOOK OF TELLS offers a new, unifying vocabulary for understanding human communication and social influence - and a unique opportunity to read yourself, and others.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Business, English Literature, Relationships, Personal Development

400 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

Reviews

[Caroline · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Did you know that the way you stand, how you position your elbows, move your feet or hands, says a lot about how dominant or submissive you feel? Or that when you're trying to hide your feelings, your sexual attitudes are betrayed by your eyes and mouth? Even the way you smile and the facial muscles you use show whether you are genuinely happy or faking it! These are Tells, and they are highly revealing. In fact, wherever you are and whatever you're doing, your movements provide important clues about your state of mind. In The Book of Tells Dr Peter Collett, social psychologist and former Oxford Don, and resident psychologist on Channel 4's Big Brother series, introduces us to the fascinating concept of Tells, showing how they work, where they come from and how to identify and interpret them. While teaching you to read the motives and actions of other people, this invaluable resource also helps you to focus on the messages that you unwittingly send, and the impact that these might have on those around you. Comprehensive, accessible and fun to use, The Book of Tells offers a new, unifying vocabulary for understanding human communication and a unique opportunity to read others and yourself. It is quite an eye-opener to discover what a devious game we human play with our unwitting messages of communication."

I will never look at people and friends the same way again...

[Cristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Captivating indeed!It has great information about the gesture language, the type of language we tend not to observe easily, but, as P.Collett could say,the most revealing and genuine one.
I found it helpful and I can tell you this book will surely increase your appetite for knowing more about the way our body sends messages much better than words could ever do.
Knowing, observing and understanding the signals the body transmits, we can learn a great deal about the others and about ourselves.

[Pasatoiu George · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mahatma Gandhi once said "A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do, Nothing else." Most of the time, we are defined by what we do, not by what we say. The problem is that the majority of people emphasize on what people say and they don't take into consideration the signals that are transmited by their bodies. Even though our words may tell a lie, our bodies usually tell the truth. Our eyes, our posture, our hands or feet, all of them can send a sign that will reveal our deepest thoughts and feelings. This book is barely an introduction to the skill of reading the meaning or our gestures. It won't turn you into Dr. Cal Lightman from the TV show Lie to me, you won't become as good as Sherlock Holmes on noticing even the smallest details, but you might get to understand the meaning of some frequently met gestures. Many of these are unconscious, we are not even aware that we are doing them. Others can be trained and used to change the way we appear in relation with the other people. This can be clearly seen in politics, where the people have to show that they are strong characters, but also attentive to what the others have to say. Their words can easily deceive our ears, as people tend to believe what they want to hear, but their eyes or hands usually unmask their real thoughts, even though this may happen only for a fraction of a second. You could be "tricked" by these signals and you might not even notice it. For example, if you found yourself charmed by the Puss in boots from Shrek 2 and its glamorous eyes, you might want to know that those big eyes are usually linked to a baby's eyes, because a baby's eyes are rather large in rapport with their heads. All the animals in the world, including humans, tend to treat the young with love and care and to offer them protection. That is why if you have your eyes wide open, you will send a signal of non-aggresion and the others might treat you nicer. All of these and much more are explained in the book, and when you're done reading it, you might see the world in a different way, you may start to give meaning to things that otherwise would have gone unnoticed.

[Nicoleta]

Molipsitorul cascat nu e singurul gest care se copiaza inconstient
Inaltimea, spatele drept si succesul
Asezarea la masa negocierilor
Postura dominanta si Michael Jackson
Picioarele intinse in postura asezata
Coatele si mainile in solduri in tablourile regilor
Fata in fata pentru prieteni
Sprancenele pensate, buzele groase si sumisiunea. Barbia mica, ochii departati
Poti sa casti mult citind despre cascat
Cine vorbeste primul castiga
Gestul primului ministru australian
Privitul cand vorbesti sau cand asculti. Citat din Nietsche
Autolinistire si gesturi amintind atingerea mamei
Capul aplecat sabia nu-l taie.
Firescul perierii.
Faptul ca vorbesti peste altul nu e totdeauna un semn de nepolitete si dezinteres. Cel putin nu la mediteraneeni si evrei cica.
Cand picioarele spun mai multe decat ochii.
Moa si jena de a saruta.
Dansul despartirii.
Poseta regala.
Anxietatea duce la transpiratie la nivelul mainilor si fetei si mai putin in rest
Luarea cu mainile de cap, ducerea mainii la ochi sau gura, atingerea parului si a fetei pentru protectie, respectiv autolinistire
Gura si anxietatea: muscatul buzelor, rosul unghiilor, fumatul si mestecatul gumei.
Balbaitul, vorbirea rapida si raspunsurile rare si anxietatea.
Lekking si cluburile de noapte.
Tocurile, lordoza si femela hamster.
Sincronizarea posturilor mai ales la femei.
Ochii mint, nasul nu e mereu atins la minciuni, vorbele, tonul, modul de a vorbi conteaza mai mult decat gesturile pentru a detecta minciuna
Bilblia si pronuntia gresita
Englezii tin furculita in mana stanga si cand mananca, americanii tin furculita in mana stanga doar cand taie carnea, dar cand mananca, furculita trece in dreapta. Canadienii nu prea se folosesc de cutit.
Sarutul mainii la est-europeni.
Zambetul iti poate schimba dispozitia
Tacerea finlandezilor
Moutza si v de la victoire
Fumatul si locul unde muncesti.
Fumatul si timiditatea
Fumatul, extravertitii si nevroticii.

[Joshua G. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very basic information that seems intuitive. 90% of the time I found myself saying, “well, no duh.” Was expecting more from this book. Like more actual tells that aren’t common sense.

This is a great book if you’re an alien species or a robot who needs to find out how human beings operate socially. Otherwise, you won’t learn much here.

[Kareem EL-Haki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice book...helps me to understand humans

[Vanea Tudor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've learned some good tips about human patterns in general. It has some boring chapters (for me at least) but it was a good and useful read.

Ps: Bill Clinton in the main character in this book :))

[Alexandra Trs · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very easy to read, it is just an introduction to the significance of gestures. A bit outdated.

[Sara.jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

They should teach you this sort of things in school. Brilliant.

[Heidi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dit is een goed boek om een zich te krijgen op wat lichaamstaal allemaal inhoudt en hoe het onbewust mensen wederzijds beïnvloed. Velerlei soorten signalen, houdingen en taalaspecten worden behandeld in tal van situaties. Wat ik heel belangrijk vind en in dit boek gelukkig aan het eind wordt vermeld is dat er geen één op één relatie bestaat tussen een bepaald gedrag en een bepaalde interpretatie. Je kan bijvoorbeeld onmogelijk zeggen: die persoon doet dit, dús hij liegt. Het gaat om het vergelijken van het volledige gedrag van een individu in een normale setting met hoe het gedrag van diezelfde persoon wijzigt in een niet normale setting, bv. onder stress.
Wat me enorm stoort is de Nederlandse vertaling. Tikfouten, grammaticale fouten maar ook vertaalfouten komen regelmatig voor. De Engelse term 'mate' in de zin van seksuele partner wordt vertaald door 'maat', zoals Australiërs de term dikwijls gebruiken. 'Voluntary' en 'involuntary' worden vertaald door 'willekeurig' en 'onwillekeurig', terwijl het 'vrijwillig' en 'onvrijwillig' moetzijn. En soms wordt hetgeen in een paragraaf wordt uitgelegd, bv. persoon A van cultuur a gedraagt zich X en cultuur B van cultuur b gedraagt zich Y in de afsluitende samenvattende zin omgekeerd gesteld door twee cruciale woorden van plaats te verwisselen. Dat is onaanvaardbaar in een boek dat kennis probeert over te brengen.
Ik las dit boek in het Nederlands omdat mijn vriend deze editie in zijn bezit had. Normaal gezien probeer ik boeken zoveel mogelijk in de oorspronkelijke taal te lezen, zeker als dit Engels is. Mijn raad daarom: als je het Engels machtig bent, lees dan beter de oorspronkelijke versie.

[charbel · Rating 5 out of 5]

very professional books about the body language, no need to be an expert in body language to understand it. you can start your body language studies with this book. It could be better if it contains more photos since it is taking the subject of a visual process, like Paul Ekman's leading body language books.
This book intended to be easy read, So it can be a good start in this domain despite the lack of photos.

[Teya Daneva · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Book of Tells is informative and easy to follow. The author succeeded in discussing a variety of topics in a gradual and well-planned manner. However, what lacks overall, in my opinion, is a fine touch to the narrative detail. Whereas the author combines humour and witty writing style, I had the impression that the book was meant to be a practically orientated reading without being whatsoever in praise of the joyful act of reading.

[Joseph Derdessi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptional. You cannot see humans as "humans" , after reading this book.
You grow the ability to know when someone likes you or not.

You know when someone is lying or telling the truth. Whenever someone is interested (in mating) with you.

Power tells - Anxiety tells- Love and Sexual tells - Body Language - Emotional Leakage. All packed-in nicely and easy to read!

One of my favorites!

[Robertson Kunz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found myself a bit bored with the book, especially when it relied heavily on politicians and politics to illuminate its examples. Also, I wonder how accurate the meaning of some of the "tells" actually are and whether they have shifted over time. The chapter on "Foreign Tells" is interesting.

[Ed Barks · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author delves into what our nonverbal signals tell others in an easy to comprehend yet not condescending manner. A thorough index makes this a most useful volume.

[Abdulaziz Khallaf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely informative, the best body language book i've read so far.

[Gil Smolinski · Rating 3 out of 5]

https://smolinskiblog.co/2019/01/10/t...

[A Crawley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book on nonverbal cues! He is an amazing observer and amusing writer.

[Mick D · Rating 3 out of 5]

The medium is the message. Trust your eyes not your ears. The devil is in the detail. Pay attention, focus, the majority of communication is non verbal.

[Victor Oanca · Rating 1 out of 5]

Plina de pseudo-stiinta si asumptii!

[Shelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing, I was able to identify an in office relationship using the pointers in this book. Enlightening

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Did I only read it because Derren Brown recommended it? Yes
Did I enjoy reading it? Also yes
Do I believe in any of it? [redacted]

[Lisvia · Rating 4 out of 5]

O carte cu multe detalii utile in viata de zi cu zi si un indemn de a fii mai atenti la noi si la cei din jur, sa citim printre 'randuri', prin micile gesturi, emotiile si sentimentele celor dragi.

[Stoichita Andrei · Rating 4 out of 5]

myes

[Ionut Sburlis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Direct and simple

[lisa.hritcu · Rating 4 out of 5]

informativă, dar extraordinar de repetitivă.

[Lazar Catalin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Aproape nimic wow

[Andreea Mădălina · Rating 2 out of 5]

2,5⭐

[Pasatoiu George · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mahatma Gandhi once said "A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do, Nothing else." Most of the time, we are defined by what we do, not by what we say. The problem is that the majority of people emphasize on what people say and they don't take into consideration the signals that are transmited by their bodies. Even though our words may tell a lie, our bodies usually tell the truth. Our eyes, our posture, our hands or feet, all of them can send a sign that will reveal our deepest thoughts and feelings. This book is barely an introduction to the skill of reading the meaning or our gestures. It won't turn you into Dr. Cal Lightman from the TV show Lie to me, you won't become as good as Sherlock Holmes on noticing even the smallest details, but you might get to understand the meaning of some frequently met gestures. Many of these are unconscious, we are not even aware that we are doing them. Others can be trained and used to change the way we appear in relation with the other people. This can be clearly seen in politics, where the people have to show that they are strong characters, but also attentive to what the others have to say. Their words can easily deceive our ears, as people tend to believe what they want to hear, but their eyes or hands usually unmask their real thoughts, even though this may happen only for a fraction of a second. You could be "tricked" by these signals and you might not even notice it. For example, if you found yourself charmed by the Puss in boots from Shrek 2 and its glamorous eyes, you might want to know that those big eyes are usually linked to a baby's eyes, because a baby's eyes are rather large in rapport with their heads. All the animals in the world, including humans, tend to treat the young with love and care and to offer them protection. That is why if you have your eyes wide open, you will send a signal of non-aggresion and the others might treat you nicer. All of these and much more are explained in the book, and when you're done reading it, you might see the world in a different way, you may start to give meaning to things that otherwise would have gone unnoticed.

[MUROV · Rating 2 out of 5]

Băi a fost ok, stiam deja o mare parte din lucruri, dar au fost si multe pe care fie nu le-am stiut, fie care nu cred ca sunt adevarate. Faptul că mereu s-au dat exemple, s-au pus ilustrații/poze si s-au folosit studii e un plus.
Nu cred ca e un must read si nu e nici ceva revoluționar, personal a fost o carte la care nu am putut sa ma concentrez cand am citit-o.
Cele mai bune capitole au fost cel despre gesturile cu tentă sexuală, gesturile fumătorilor, gesturile împrumutate de la straini si cele despre gesturile societății si cum ne dam de gol.
Interesant cum a comparat gesturile cu un joc de pocker.