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384 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 7, 2017
“Imagine that the last five decades happened with no restrictions on energy. No need to dig deeper and deeper into the ground and make the skies dirtier and dirtier. Nuclear became unnecessarily tempestuous. Coal and oil pointlessly murky. Solar and wind and even hydropower became quaint low-fidelity alternatives that nobody bothered with unless they were peculiarly determined to live off the main grid.”
We could’ve brought a life into this world of wonders and that life could’ve changed us both, made us better, fixed the broken clocks inside our brains that wouldn’t let us be happy when happiness was within reach.
She touched her stomach. I like to think that’s the moment she changed her mind and decided to have our baby and become a family.
“I’m not much of a Freudian, but something about fame makes the id and the superego devour the ego like anacondas in a cage, right before they cannibalize each other. Fame warps your identity, metastasizes your anxieties, and hollows you out like a jack-o’-lantern. It’s sparkly pixie dust that burns whatever it touches like acid.”
But around the dinner table - while I sup up the remains of the ratatouille with crusty spelt bread and my mom takes the dessert she baked out of the oven and my sister opens another bottle of sauvignon blanc and Penny listens to my dad with guileless interest while her foot occasionally presses down on mine under the table - he can speak openly without fear of any ridicule more acrid than the exasperated sighs Greta doesn’t bother to conceal as she accidentally splits half the cork into the bottle because her fine motor skills decrease exponentially with each glass of wine.
My fifteen employees started applauding and flexing their zygomaticus muscles to bare their teeth and gums, which makes me recoil until I realize they’re smiling at me.
Like, okay, in my world, when you break up with someone, it’s considered gracious to offer the person you dumped a lock of hair so that, if they want, they can get a genetically identical surrogate grown for whatever purposes they need to get over you. It has no consciousness, but it looks exactly like you and can be used for rudimentary physiological functions. Like, you know, sex.
The belief that the world is here for humans to control is the philosophical bedrock of our civilization, but it’s a mistaken belief. Optimism is the pyre on which we’ve been setting ourselves aflame.
Marty McFly didn’t appear thirty years earlier in his hometown of Hill Valley, California. His tricked-out DeLorean materialized in the endless empty blackness of the cosmos with the Earth approximately 350,000,000,000 miles away. … The Terminator would probably survive in space because it’s an unstoppable robot killing machine, but traveling from 2029 to 1984 would’ve given Sarah Connor a 525,000,000,000-mile head start.The Gottreider Engine provides an unanticipated anchor, a bread crumb trail of tau radiation that can be followed through space and time. It’s an ingenious solution.
This is how the world changes—two strangers experience a crackle of chemistry.
"The most complex physics question [is] a breeze compared to the contradictions of the human heart.”
This is how you discover who someone is. Not the success. Not the result. The struggle. The part between the beginning and the ending that is the truth of life.
"It’s amazing how much damage one penis can do.”
When you invent a new technology, you also invent the accident of that technology.
. . . .
The Accident doesn’t just apply to technology, it also applies to people. Every person you meet introduces the accident of that person to you. What can go right and what can go wrong. There is no intimacy without consequence.
That’s the magic trick of creating life—it takes every bad decision you ever made and makes them necessary footsteps on the treacherous path that brought you home.
I didn’t mean to do any of this, but there’s no one else to blame. Not even my father. And clearly I’ve lost the plot because I’ve always been able to blame my father for whatever went wrong in my life—blaming my father is basically my superpower.
…
This was supposed to be, like, a time-travel romp, you know? I’d make some mistakes but in the end I’d set things right. I fantasized that despite or maybe even because of everything I’ve done wrong, I’d somehow come out of this a hero. The hero…. I’m sorry this isn’t a time-travel romp. I was expecting causal loops and reality fluctuations and branching dimensions and scientifically questionable solutions to ornate space-time paradoxes. I wasn’t expecting actual human pain.
It all happened, more or less exactly as envisioned. I’m not talking about the future. I’m talking about the present. Today, in the year 2016, humanity lives in a techno-utopian paradise of abundance, purpose, and wonder.
Except we don’t. Of course we don’t. We life in a world where, sure, there are iPhones and 3D printers and, I don’t know, drone strikes or whatever. But it hardly looks like The Jetsons. Except it should. And it did. Until it didn’t. But it would have, if I hadn’t done what I did. Or, no, hold on, what I will have done.
You know that the Earth spins on it’s axis and also revolves around the Sun, while the Sun itself moves endlessly through the solar system. Like water through a turbine, the Goettreider Engine harnesses the constant rotation of the planet to create boundless energy. It has something to do with magnetism and gravity and honestly - I don’t know anymore than I genuinely understand an alkaline battery or a combustion engine or an incandescent light bulb. They just work.
"...when you invent a new technology, you also invent the accident of that technology. When you invent the car, you also invent the car accident. When you invent the plane, you also invent the plane crash. When you invent nuclear fission, you also invent the nuclear meltdown."And when you invent a time machine... yeah. Written in memoir style, All Our Wrong Todays showcases Tom Barren, the significantly less talented son of a scientist/physicist/inventor/genius, who acts before he thinks and tests out his father's newest invention. The end result is a world that resembles our present-day 2016. Only for Tom, this is total opposite (in a bad way) of what his 2016 was. I was a bit confused about whether this was time travel or dimension travel...it was kind of strange, but the contrast was very interesting to me as a reader as it shows that technological advances don't always equal happiness.