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The Secret Footballer: Access All Areas

(The Secret Footballer #3)

3.72  ·  Rating details ·  484 ratings  ·  24 reviews
Forgive your enemies, they say.

Keep their addresses and keep notes, I say.

In Access All Areas, you'll learn how to buy three Premier League points for just £25,000, what it's really like to face a Football Association disciplinary hearing, and why every footballer in the country shuddered when they heard about the Ched Evans case.

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Paperback, 368 pages
Published November 5th 2015 by Guardian Faber
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Average rating 3.72  · 
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Nov 06, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: sports
The Secret Footballer – Access All Areas

Once again The Secret Footballer gets down to the nuts and bolts about the professional game in England lifting the lid on aspects some clubs and managers would never like the light to see. As usual this is a humorous book packed full of information that looks at all the clubs in the current premier league as well as a few of those who are no longer there.

The unique views we are given here are wonderful, frank and honest, some know
Nov 11, 2015 rated it really liked it
Loved it! Both entertaining & educational. Could have maybe added a few more Championship clubs though!
Nov 17, 2016 rated it liked it
Shelves: football
It's difficult to accurately rate this book due to reading it cover to cover in about 2 days, yet feeling like it was still a bit of a let-down.

Despite the preface from his 'WAG', in which we are told this is the book he really wanted to write all along, this very much continues from his previous books, as a collection of anecdotes of antics and the actual playing of football.

It's difficult to know to what extent TSF is a character in his own right, and how seriously to t
Jan 27, 2016 rated it really liked it
The latest in TSF's series, it has the usual humour and wit that you would expect from his books. The A-Z of premier league football clubs is a nice touch, meaning that there is a little section on each club to keep all football fans happy. The anecdotes are somewhat amusing as well, especially about on the pitch 'banter'. However, i would say that i was a little disappointed with the back page claiming how to buy 3 premier league points for £25,000. I presumed this would go into detail regardin ...more
Stuart Bird
Nov 10, 2015 rated it really liked it
More insight than 90% of what you'll read and hear from footballers (or former footballers). Occasionally the author sounds a little too pleased with himself and the prose style sometimes wanders into Accidental Partridge territory. Some topics clearly interest the writer far more than the prospective reader - such as previous slights and injustices experienced by the writer - but despite the occasional mis-steps there is a lot to enjoy. You'll not find the usual cliched punditry but interesting ...more
Feb 13, 2016 rated it liked it
Falls into the trap of opinion and stale punditry for the middle third. The first and final thirds are much better. Editor should have done a better job and dealt with at least 5 sentences that are ambiguous at best, make no sense at worst.
Phil Mechanic
Nov 09, 2018 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Guess it's just not my cup of tea. Some interesting snippets, but written in a really abrasive tone which just made it hard work. The self-confidence required to be a top-level footballer perhaps inevitably leads to a strong sense that you know best. Sadly this book fails to go the extra step of providing evidence or context, instead presenting several hundred pages of overwhelming arrogance, from an author who presents himself as a pretty unpleasant character.
R.Eashwar Ramu
May 25, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Best book of the series!!!
Mark Williams
Aug 31, 2018 rated it really liked it
Great insight to premier league footballers. At times hilarious.
Filip Olšovský
Aug 10, 2018 rated it really liked it
Probably the best one in the series. Factual, entertaining but mainly (and finally) really insightful.
Duncan Smith
May 01, 2018 rated it really liked it
Very good - this guy is really smart. Prickly and opinionated, but worth listening to.

Read three of his books inside a couple of weeks.
Jan 06, 2019 rated it really liked it
this covers much of the same ground as Crouchie's book and is an antidote to it in many ways . Whilst Crouchie is good humoured and thinks it is all a bit of a larf/ridiculous TSF is cynical and reveals football the be a money driven out of control sport with a "me first " attitude from all participants from the players to agents to owners to administrators . The buying of the various World Cups is the norm . I did not chortle very much but revelatory .
Colin Murtagh
Dec 13, 2015 rated it really liked it
I've been really enjoying this series. Unlike most football books, this gives a much more cynical view of the beautiful game. As such, it's probably more accurate, it certainly feels frank and honest.
He works through the premier league teams giving his views not only on the teams but on the character of the teams and fans.
This is all interspersed with little stories about his playing career, and his life after retirement. The two big things are his attempts to take over another club, and his m
Nick Brett
Nov 16, 2015 rated it really liked it
This series of books has been both fascinating and revealing. TSF a now retired “ex-Premiership” footballer who continues to lift the lid on football and what really makes it work. Even the knowledgeable football fan will find things here to surprise them. TSF has been there and done that and writes with eloquence and clarity (obviously populated with swearing) about the underbelly of football. We get an A-Z of the Premiership clubs in terms of visiting them, their culture and their managers. Al ...more
Sep 22, 2016 rated it really liked it
(Finished earlier than recorded here)

Ok, a little something about their propensity for sex. Nothing too saucy though. Young chaps with testosterone on overdrive. And willing participants. Oh well.
I like that Mr Footballer here is very self-aware about what's happening, and his observation of the environment in which these footballers spent most of their time changes their view of the world. Not everyone matures at the same rate, and some of these boys cannot recover from
Kevin Collett
Feb 13, 2016 rated it liked it
I enjoyed the book. This was the first TSF book I've read and it was entertaining and well written. I was a bit concerned when I started as people were not being named but that was a brief situation with plenty of dirt being dished on well known players and managers. Good luck to the TSF in buying a club and being chairman.
Dec 17, 2016 rated it did not like it
I read an earlier version as I'm a football fan - Scottish football - but really did not like the tone of this one. That's probably pretty personal though, read the first chapter and took it straight back to the library.
Albert  Gubler
Jan 07, 2016 rated it liked it
The Secret Footballer is a funny book full of great one-liners and interesting stories surrounding the whole wide world of football. It helps that the author seems to be acutely self-aware and also is not afraid to mock himself. Entertaining, but also not really full of depth.
James Koppert
Dec 01, 2016 rated it it was amazing
The third book of his I have read and equally as brilliant. It highlights exactly how ridiculous, false and corrupt the game is but at the same time exactly why it is such a beautiful game. The most honest football books you will ever read
Adam Hurt
Genuinely a decent read

I've given the book a 3* rating because although it's a good read, it's almost repetitive of the other 'secret footballer' series. Nothing really surprises me, there is no shock factor, it's turned into a book on what the fans already know and think.
Mike Thomas
May 21, 2016 rated it it was amazing
read this in 4 days,loved it, and yes i do know who the secret footballer is!!
Damien Chapman
Jul 26, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great read

Loving Dave Kitsons work. Superb book as ever and truly insightful to get to the nub of the issues in the game.
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Ian Bergel
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Kevin Sheehy
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Nirav Jariwala
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Jan 15, 2017
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