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Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species

Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

4.44 · Rating details · 705 ratings · 80 reviews

Maternal instinct--the all-consuming, utterly selfless love that mothers lavish on their children--has long been assumed to be an innate, indeed defining element of a woman's nature. But is it? In this provocative, groundbreaking book, renowned anthropologist (and mother) Sarah Blaffer Hrdy shares a radical new vision of motherhood and its crucial role in human evolution.

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Paperback, 752 pages

Published September 5th 2000 by Ballantine Books (first published 1999)

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Jan 24, 2013 Meg rated it really liked it

Shelves: parenting, health, feminism-gender

A feminist Darwinian! Bring it on. If you want to know about the biology of motherhood, this is the book for you. True, it's kind of long and full of scientific and anthropological detail. But it's also well written, interesting, and even funny. I really appreciated that the author is committed to understanding what it means to be a mother (and, to a lesser extent, any parent) without getting sentimental or making assumptions. At times, she shares her own anecdotes of being a mother (including b A feminist Darwinian! Bring it on. If you want to know about the biology of motherhood, this is the book for you. True, it's kind of long and full of scientific and anthropological detail. But it's also well written, interesting, and even funny. I really appreciated that the author is committed to understanding what it means to be a mother (and, to a lesser extent, any parent) without getting sentimental or making assumptions. At times, she shares her own anecdotes of being a mother (including being a working mother) to illustrate her points.

I didn't understand everything in this book, and I didn't agree with everything either. I'm still skeptical about evolutionary psychology, and find the near-exclusive focus on natural selection to be somewhat reductionist (Hrdy doesn't discount the impacts of culture and temperament, but doesn't spend much time on them). I either don't understand or don't agree with the whole "environment of evolutionary adaptedness" concept. Also, there were a few times when I thought she contradicted herself (but frankly I didn't really have the energy to track down the conflicting statements in such a long book). I thought some of her forays into developmental psychology were skewed toward Bowlby and attachment theory, sometimes at the expense of other important concepts.

A few of the things I learned about in this book (though there are many more):

- Mothers have always been willing to delegate care to "alloparents" (other caregivers), as long as safe care is available. (In some environments, safe care was not likely to be available, so mothers and infants have had longer-term exclusive bonds.)
- Mothers have always been ambivalent about having children, usually for good reason (e.g. if they don't have kin or "alloparents" - including fathers - to help raise the child, or if resources are scarce). There has always been infanticide (prior to availability of safe abortions), usually by abandonment/ exposure. In some cultures this has reached epidemic proportions (43% of infants baptized in 1840's Florence were abandoned!).
- Infants are cute for a reason: to convince mothers/ tribes not to abandon them. (OK, I didn't learn that from this book... I learned it from my infants.)
- Mothers have always been ambitious in their work (whether that is foraging for nuts and berries, or running experiments in a lab). One could argue, as Hrdy does, that this is for evolutionary reasons (to increase their offspring's status and therefore their chance of reproductive success), or else one could argue that it's a human trait to love useful work ("The pitcher cries for water to carry/ and a person for work that is real." - Marge Piercy), but regardless, boo-ya to those who claim working mothers are unnatural. ...more

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Mar 07, 2010 Lynne Williamson rated it it was amazing

All human animals should read this book about real (not Victorianized) maternal nature.

Looking realistically at "mother nature:" For a human mother, the survival goal includes an evolved capability for weighing the odds for survival of her current children when faced with a competing newborn. Will she have enough resources to feed and protect the children she has as well as for the newborn given the environmental circumstances - circumstances which include the whole cultural milieu as well as he ...more

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Dec 21, 2012 Bob Nichols rated it liked it · review of another edition

Drawing heavily from sociobiological theory and evolutionary psychology, Hrdy argues that (1) the mother at some deep level calculates the benefit/loss ratio that's involved in parental investment, and (2) the infant/child employs various evolutionary strategies to ensure maternal investment in its survival and well-being. There are no guarantees in this business. The mothering "instinct" is not unconditional and the infant's and child's sense of security is not assured. Hrdy strips the parent-c Drawing heavily from sociobiological theory and evolutionary psychology, Hrdy argues that (1) the mother at some deep level calculates the benefit/loss ratio that's involved in parental investment, and (2) the infant/child employs various evolutionary strategies to ensure maternal investment in its survival and well-being. There are no guarantees in this business. The mothering "instinct" is not unconditional and the infant's and child's sense of security is not assured. Hrdy strips the parent-child relationship of much of its romance, and she argues that this is why there's been extensive abuse, abandonment (foundling homes), and infanticide (post-birth version of late-stage abortion, used before abortion became a safer practice). Hrdy, in short, challenges the reader to look at parenting from the perspective of evolutionary theory that makes "love" conditional, calculating and colder.

There are, however, a couple of issues with her presentation. Hrdy does not describe how her perspective is consistent with her endorsement of kin selection which is a central tenant of sociobiological theory. Much of Hrdy's book is about "allomothers," a community of support that behaves "as if kin." That seems to contradict kin selection theory that has our other-regarding tendencies limited to kin relations. We know of course that non-kin allomothers (her term) extend their love, care, concern and interest to babies even when non-related. Why is that the case if they are not kin? For that matter, why did the gooslings follow Lorenz even though he was obviously not kin? Hrdy skims over these as if they are not issues. "All early caregivers become the emotional equivalents of kin," she writes, without explaining how this matches up or doesn't match up with kin selection theory. In addition to her numerous "as if kin" references, she writes about the importance of being part of a "community," but then adds without a blink that such a community is "a group of kin" without accounting for the fact that most communities today are not at all kin related. Could it be that kin selection cannot explain other-regarding, altruistic tendencies beyond the parent-child relationship? Could it be that other-giving tendencies are based on the individual's need to be part of a group for survival purposes and that genetic tendencies push the individual to the group and vice versa? Could it be that infants and children need to bond (imprint) with a caregiver, and for caregivers to do the same for dependent infants and children because that's how the group and individuals within the group were able to survive?

Another potential issue with Hrdy's presentation is the implicit assumption of her "parental investment theory" that maternal instinct expression depends on environmental circumstances. Hrdy says there's no pure genotype because genotypes always get expressed within a context. In other words, the environment modifies the genotype and this always results in a phenotypic expression. Within that framework, Hrdy states that, "I assume that mothers in the past were emotionally similar to me. But they made their decisions under different, vastly more arduous, circumstances." No doubt, there is a considerable truth here, but it does raise a question: Is it fair to say that mothers everywhere have the same "emotional make up"? How does that match up with the genetic variation within species that is the guts of Darwinian theory? How does it match up with Hrdy's various references to different, innate temperaments? Hrdy talks about differences in phenotypic expression among identical twins, but there are ample studies about how genotypic expression is remarkably the same among identical twins regardless of the environment. Could it be that some women (and men for that matter) have more of a nurturing, maternal instinct than others because of basic innate differences that are more or less independent of the environment?

As a final comment, Hrdy refers to the Harlow studies (infant deprivation of love objects) without condemnation or, at least, acknowledgement of the problematic aspects of that scientific type of approach from a maternal or paternal point of view. ...more

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Jul 08, 2011 Cara Pulley rated it it was amazing

This book. This frickin book. I love it. I love that it challenges our perceptions.

I don't know why human society believes that women are all programmed to want to birth and nurture the kids. Perhaps people believe it out of convenience or wishful thinking.

This book talks about mothers and babies of different species and about human mother roles historically. The other species portion is to illustrate that humans are not alone in doting over their babies and that babies are genetically programm ...more

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Dec 26, 2007 Pearl rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Recommends it for: monkeys

"Mother Nature" changed my life, bridging evolutionary theory, feminisim, and pragmatism in a way that touched a deep core in my beliefs. In the most mundane sense this book is interesting. Whether you are an anthropology buff or a spiritualist you should read this.

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Oct 19, 2016 Alex rated it it was amazing

Shelves: psychology, game-theory, evolution

This is a big book, and it requires a big review. There is so much I learned from it that I may struggle to get this review to resemble anything less than a rambling string of interesting facts and theories. But I'll try.

Written in 1999, this book explores a feministic perspective on evolutionary theory. It is an account of how both mothers and infants have shaped one another's biology and psychology over the eons in the struggle for survival. Since before Darwin published his Origin of Species ...more

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Dec 17, 2008 Susan rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

If you want to scream every time some unenlightened jerk gives you some kind of "Men are from Mars" crap, then this is the book for you! Dispelling myths, bullcrap, and outright lies about the evolution of motherhood in sentient beings, I highly recommend this book.

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Jul 25, 2011 Sonja rated it it was amazing

My bible. I read this book when I was pregnant with my second child - and was convinced by Blaffer Hrdy's arguments and facts. Nature is cruel, mother is not nature. Or mother is cruel, nature is not mother? Some very controversial theses in there, but at least they make you think.

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Dec 15, 2011 Jennie rated it really liked it

Shelves: abandoned

abandoned it, but an excellent read

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Jun 09, 2010 Katie rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites

my friends will be relieved to know that i will no longer be spouting interesting facts about infanticide every 5 minutes.

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Mar 12, 2019 Kimberly rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: get-from-library

This was a labor of love to read. It's fascinating subject and so well researched. I will say though that it can get very in depth into science that leaves the causal reader's head spinning a bit. All in all though a wonderful tome about mothers.

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Jan 07, 2016 Emily rated it really liked it

Shelves: science, nonfiction

No spoilers, just hiding this part b/c it's about bad things happening to babies, and I don't want to drop it in my friends' feed with no warning!

(view spoiler) No spoilers, just hiding this part b/c it's about bad things happening to babies, and I don't want to drop it in my friends' feed with no warning!

(view spoiler)[I came across this book after reading a fact from it cited in some tangentially related article, and having this conversation with myself:
BRAIN: Oh, that's interesting. It says here that something like 40% of infants in medieval Florence were abandoned by their parents, and 2/3 of those died in the foundling homes.
HEART: Oh, no, that is the saddest thing! Those poor parents, having to give up their babies and knowing they probably wouldn't survive.
BRAIN: Is it though? I mean, we're talking about tens of thousands of people over many years. They were probably making the best choice they could.
HEART: Of course it's the saddest thing. How could a mother go through that without being completely wrecked?
BRAIN: Okay, but we're pro-choice, we think abortion is a good thing when people need or want it, and we know women who choose that react with a whole range of emotions, including happiness and relief. So why wouldn't we believe that women with unwanted pregnancies in medieval Florence had the same range of emotions?
HEART: But...but...wouldn't carrying a child to term and giving birth make it impossibly awful to abandon it like that? Even if you knew you couldn't raise them? Even if half your neighbors were doing it?
BRAIN: I dunno. Want to read this book and find out?
HEART: [cringes] Are there going to be a lot of dead babies?
BRAIN: Probably. I'll take over when we get to those parts and you can cover your eyes.

(Brain was right about women practicing infanticide and abandonment throughout history; turns out they pretty much always have, and have constructed many religious and folklore beliefs that let them see it not as a criminal act or something they were directly responsible for, and considering it a monstrous criminal act is fairly recent. Heart was right about the number of bad things happening to small children in this book, though the tone of scientific detachment throughout the whole thing made it surprisingly painless to read about. At some point, talking about China's one child policy, the author says something like..."why subject such a stark matter to dispassionate analysis? Well, why wouldn't you?" And outside of excerpts from diaries or literature, that's pretty much what her writing sounds like.) (hide spoiler)]

Anyway, this was fascinating all over, the kind of book I frequently felt compelled to share fun facts from. The author is rightfully skeptical of so much discourse about parenting that focuses on what mothers "naturally" ought to be doing, and it's refreshing to read instead about what they have always done, on every step of the evolutionary ladder from bees to monkeys to ancient humans to modern civilization. They've always worked on things besides childcare, sought out help from others, taken advantage of whatever level of "choice" they have, and taken care of themselves without being self-sacrificing - all things that make sense from an evolutionary perspective, at least if you weren't raised in Darwin's time and projected your Victorian values all over your observations.

This was hard for me to read sometimes as a more social science-y person - shutting off my "but what about---" reaction every time I saw a biological fact that definitely has some social/cultural factors was difficult! Plenty of things that I consider important are smoothed away in an effort to write about humans at the species level. I had to tell myself pretty often "she's not denying any of that stuff, it's just not what the book is about." So, big grain of salt needed for how much any of this applies to your own life or beliefs or politics, but overall it was fascinating and eye-opening. ...more

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Nov 11, 2009 Inder rated it it was amazing

Shelves: culture, parenting, women, science, ethnography, read-2010

I have long been extremely leery of evolutionary or biological explanations for differences between the sexes. Just the words, "mothering instinct" make me break out in a rash. Why? Because "biological" explanations, which are more often than not based in pure speculation, always seem to conveniently rationalize the superiority of men and reduce women to their reproductive capacity. Don't even get me started about this, you'll never hear the end of it.

Which is why this book totally rocked my wor I have long been extremely leery of evolutionary or biological explanations for differences between the sexes. Just the words, "mothering instinct" make me break out in a rash. Why? Because "biological" explanations, which are more often than not based in pure speculation, always seem to conveniently rationalize the superiority of men and reduce women to their reproductive capacity. Don't even get me started about this, you'll never hear the end of it.

Which is why this book totally rocked my world, and why I want to recommend it from the rooftops. Sarah Blaffer Hrdy looks exhaustively at the biological data regarding mothers of all species, and explodes the Victorian archetype of the sexless, submissive, and nuturing wife and mother. She finds that human mothers do have instincts, of course, but they are not all stereotypically "maternal." Rather, difficult decisions and a dose of ambivalence have always been part of what it means to be a human mother.

The best part is the way that huge amounts of not-always-straightforward biological data are presented with ease and charm. Once you've started, it is difficult to put this book down.

I recently read another book on "natural" mothering, Our Babies, Ourselves, by Meridith Small. I enjoyed Our Babies, Ourselves, and reviewed it positively here. However, I felt that it was an introduction to the ethnographical study of motherhood, and in some respects, grossly oversimplified the needs of infants and mothers. But I was intrigued, and wanted to learn more about this field. As a follow-up, Mother Nature far exceeded my highest expectations. It is simply a far superior book, and may even make me rethink my high rating for Our Babies, Ourselves.

Don't get me wrong, this book still pushed some buttons for me - okay, a lot of buttons, or was it one really big button, over and over? - but because Hrdy takes feminism so seriously, ideas that might have infuriated me from another source become genuinely "thought-provoking."

This book left me hungry to read more by Sarah Hrdy. ...more

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Sep 11, 2013 Jane Night rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Review also appears on my blog:
http://authorjanebnight.wordpress.com...
I really enjoyed this book. Some non fiction books can get really bogged down and beyond the understanding of someone who is only a bit familiar with the subject matter. This was not one of those books. This book was easy to understand and everything was explained in layman terms.
Being a mother but also a woman interested in women’s issues I really liked the subject matter. It also was a book that brought questions (and extra ...more

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Jun 22, 2008 Sianna rated it really liked it

Fascinating read takes takes an evolutionary approach to gender roles and how/why society has 'evolved' the evolution beyond its actual gender roles into socially conditioned (namely, patriarchal) ones. Conclusion: maternal instincts are in fact a concept of social conditioning and not a scientific fact. Men are no less capable of caring for young than are women.

The notion of women being genetically predisposed to be natural nurturers and thus better suited for raising children (that is, the tra ...more

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Jan 29, 2011 Dan rated it liked it

I liked this book a lot, but I found it hard to decide what the author's position was. I read it thinking it be a look at mothers from a feminist point of view - but based on hard science. It was very much based on hard science, but in the end, I wasn't sure what her point was - she seemed ambivalent about some key questions regarding a woman's role in mothering. However, all in all it was extremely interesting. it frames many of our behaviors, especially mothers and babies, in the light of evol ...more

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Sep 07, 2011 Amanda rated it really liked it

Really deep and thought-provoking look at maternal ambivalence. Maybe I shouldn't have read it just weeks postpartum — or, then again, maybe that was the perfect time. It's a dense, often disturbing read, because Hrdy pulls no punches when describing maternal behavior across species, cultures, and times. But it's freeing as well, in dismantling the myth of the Perfect Mother by showing us how very conditional a mother's affections actually are. The end comes back around to describing what it is ...more

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Feb 27, 2011 Benjamin rated it it was amazing

Fascinating and, at times, unsettling. The book is riveting at first, but the focus begins to wander in the latter half. While this makes for a less enjoyable read, one can only appreciate that Hrdy was unwilling to whittle the complex and competing forces under discussion into a more palatable narrative.

my favorite quote: "One reason television is such a perilous medium is that even infants less than two years old imitate what they see on the screen, yet what appears there is determined by what ...more

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Mar 22, 2016 Tor.com Publishing added it

Perhaps my single favorite non-fiction work. Hrdy comes at the preconceptions of anthropology with guns blazing, & it is a slaughter of scientific biases. This book came into my life at the perfect time, in undergrad as I was starting to become aware of logical fallacies in the sciences, borne from real world prejudices. Hrdy attacks them at the structural level through the simple act of viewing women-- & in her other books, females of other primate species-- as worthy of as much evoluti ...more

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Sep 05, 2012 Jamie Marks rated it it was amazing

Modern Family. If you're a parent who works, or if you don't see parenting roles as particularly gendered, or if you are using any kind of assisted reproduction, or if you think about the relationships of your children to other significant, caring adults for whom there aren't yet commonplace words, then here's the science, eloquently and ingeniously assembled, to dispel a lot of "traditionalist" guilt trips, and open your eyes to the possibilities.

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Dec 14, 2012 Amanda Banks rated it it was amazing

Shelves: anthropology

I LOVED this book: very thought provoking and intellectually daring. It contains many highly controversial ideas, so the easily offended should probably avoid it. However, for anyone interested in history, anthropology or parenting (in the more theoretical sense: it is not at all a 'how-to' book) the book is fascinating and completely repays the effort required (it is very long and fairly intellectually challenging). Grade: A.

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May 11, 2010 J.P. Drury rated it it was amazing

Shelves: non-fiction

What an amazing text! It engaged me wholly, making me re-examine many ideas I had already thought deeply about pertaining to culture, patriarchy, reproductive autonomy, and my own life. A read you will value forever. If you found yourself interested in the bits on primatology, pick up her earlier book The Woman that Never Evolved.

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Jan 18, 2008 Cortney rated it it was amazing

WOW! This book idolizes an amazing mother and how nature nurtures their young in a similar way! Where do we get our motherly instinct???? Nature of coarse! I will keep this book and read it again when (if ever) I become a mother!

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Aug 01, 2013 Dri rated it did not like it

Shelves: abandoned

Feels like I'm reading an anthropology textbook, but without sufficient information on how it correlates to human's maternal behaviors and instincts.

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Jul 06, 2008 jen rated it it was amazing

Shelves: read-for-class, non-fiction

Textbook for Anthropology course: Sex, Evolution, and Human Behavior.

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Mar 03, 2009 Carla rated it it was amazing

This is THE baby book for anyone with even a mild interest in natural science. For very good results, pair with the BBC series "Mammals".

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Aug 17, 2008 Meghan rated it it was amazing

Shelves: non-fiction, pregnancy-childbirth-parenting, favorites

A favorite from by undergraduate days. A bit heady, but fascinating information nonetheless.

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Jun 27, 2018 Roslyn rated it really liked it

This book was fantastically interesting. I really enjoyed reading about evolution and biology from the female perspective.

However, the male-bashing, get-revenge sexism, the belief that men and women "should" be the same and act the same, and judging mother nature as "bad" for "acting ruthlessly against the weak" detracted from my overall enjoyment of the information.

Interesting Quotes:

"Researches engaged in long-term studies of orangutans in the wild have long been puzzled by the curious case of ...more

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Jan 10, 2019 Megan S rated it liked it

Mother Nature - overall a somewhat long-winded yet fascinating read about the research surrounding maternity across species and, within homo sapiens, across time. This book dispels many myths that surround 'natural' motherhood - asking the questions "natural - when, and for whom?" These questions are the most valuable part of this book. For the mothers (and fathers, paternity is addressed as well) who feel the push and pull of loving parenthood and wanting to get away from it all. Ever been desp ...more

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Jul 28, 2018 Xiaocong Long rated it it was ok

Unconvincing and largely repetitive

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About Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

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Sarah Blaffer Hrdy is an American anthropologist and primatologist who has made several major contributions to evolutionary psychology and sociobiology. She has been selected as one of the 21 “Leaders in Animal Behavior.”

Books by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding

The Langurs of Abu: Female and Male Strategies of Reproduction

The Black-Man of Zinacantan: a Central American Legend

We Are All Stardust: Leading Scientists Talk About Their Work, Their Lives, and the Mysteries of Our Existence

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“One reason television is such a perilous medium is that even infants less than two years old imitate what they see on the screen, yet what appears there is determined by what happens to appeal or to sell rather than by what behavior helped individuals in a particular past environment to survive or prosper.” — 3 likes

“A woman predisposed to be a mother can learn to love any baby, while a mother not so disposed does not even learn to love her own.” — 1 likes

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