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All Tomorrow's Parties: A Memoir

Rob Spillman (Goodreads Author)

3.70 · Rating details · 206 ratings · 38 reviews

Rob Spillman—the award-winning, charismatic cofounding editor of the legendary Tin House magazine—has devoted his life to the rebellious pursuit of artistic authenticity. Born in Germany to two driven musicians, his childhood was spent among the West Berlin cognoscenti, in a city two hundred miles behind the Iron Curtain. There, the Berlin Wall stood as a stark reminder of ...more

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Hardcover, 344 pages

Published April 5th 2016 by Grove Press

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Jan 04, 2016 Elyse Walters rated it it was amazing

Shelves: netgalley

Update: In case you don't trust my word --(that this book is terrific), ...seems its noticed by 'somebody' other than me. (its hitting the Professional BIG WIG LISTS)....
Its been called out to be one of the.....
"Most Anticipated -Great 'Non-Fiction' books for 2016! (works, for me...I'd loved it!)

This was an engrossing memoir....REALLY ENJOYABLE!!!!!

Rob Stillman is editor and founder of *TIN HOUSE*...
a literary magazine, based out of Portland, Oregon....which has been honored dozens
plus awards f ...more

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Jul 22, 2016 Barbara rated it liked it

Shelves: memoir

What an excellent memoir. Several story threads that all come together at the end in not such a neat way. No lil ribbon tie-off. For memoir writers....study this book. Love the structure. He creates suspense with chapter endings and with a foreshadowing early on having to do with absinthe. He's coming on the show on Sept. 21, 2016 (Writers on Writing, KUCI-FM) and I can't wait to talk to him about the book. He's so on the page, as he should be, and if anyone's flawed, it's him--just as it should ...more

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Apr 11, 2016 Júlíus Arnarson rated it really liked it

Very entertaining and intelligent. Makes you think about your life as you read the book. I had no idea who Spillman was, but now I know all the details. A book about life and how you live it (or should live it). His music interest almost took the book to 5 stars.

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Mar 20, 2017 Tuck rated it it was amazing

Shelves: essays, tin-house, chechnya-russia-ussr, books-about-books, music-and-other-700-s

Fun and informative read about spillmans young life , his discovery of punk rock and new wave told simultaneously with his and his wife's long stay in east Berlin after the wall fell but before reunification Intelligent and fast paced and of course lots of book references. He didn't explain how tin house got started which disappointed , no pictures, no index no bibliography. But super fun epigrams. ...more

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Feb 18, 2016 Lolly K Dandeneau rated it it was amazing

"Of course I'm going to jump into the abyss. That's what I do- throw myself into the unknown."

Intimately revealing. The child of musicians who divorced when he was young, Rob grew up behind the Iron Curtain. Eventually he ended up in New York and longed to return to Germany when the wall came tumbling down. Here he chases a life that seemed to be promised from the time he was little and surrounded by the most worldly, creative people. That he became a writer, longs for a Bohemian existence, feel "Of course I'm going to jump into the abyss. That's what I do- throw myself into the unknown."

Intimately revealing. The child of musicians who divorced when he was young, Rob grew up behind the Iron Curtain. Eventually he ended up in New York and longed to return to Germany when the wall came tumbling down. Here he chases a life that seemed to be promised from the time he was little and surrounded by the most worldly, creative people. That he became a writer, longs for a Bohemian existence, feels he doesn't quite fit in anywhere and hungers for that 'other world' follows. Coming of age with artistic surroundings it seems going back to where he started is where the soul and heart of his life is anchored, but is it? What was he running to? From?
Together with his new wife Elissa, they shuck their American lives for European ones.

"Miraculously, we were doing what we had set out to do. We were Paul Bowles in Tangiers. We were going to go native, write strange novels, and then our artist friends would make pilgrimages to visit us, to get our blessing. My worries about Elissa being able to handle living off the grid shifted to worrying she was getting too into our new life. When not writing, she read Jane Bowles and Virginia Woolf, and would cry over her copies of Two Serious Ladies and Mrs. Dalloway. She was open and vulnerable to the universe, her emotional highs and lows amplified in our simplified life."

Sounds like a dream life for anyone, and admittedly- I am a little jealous of their life together and also of his childhood. "Like most sons I wanted to be like my father. But the desire to be a pianist like him was not met with the desire or discipline to sit down at a piano to bash through countless repetitions of Czerny and Hannon exercises. My father didn't push me, telling me that in time I would find what gave me joy." Even his mother didn't push music on him, this surprised me so much. So often we see parents trying to replicate themselves in their children, forcing them into the same life and it seems his parents were wise enough to know music wasn't his calling. I love this though, " My father was on constant alert for signs of a calling. When I played tennis with him and nailed a forehand winner, he arranged for tennis lessons, hoping this would be like the fateful moment when he'd find the right note in his mother's score." The best parents are guilty of it, hungry to nurture our children's natural talents and feed the fire of their leanings, so to speak. "I felt like I was letting my father down. Where was my spark? Where was my thing?" Who hasn't felt that, especially those with parents we admire?
With children who grew up overseas, it changes you. You're always in-between. I've seen similarities in my own children. The times of Spillman's youth were different from the Europe of today. Strange how our beginnings are vital to who we become, how our surroundings seep into our very marrow."A real artist doesn't need a safety net." He feels, and how lucky for him that his wife loved him enough to brave the unknown and follow his pilgrim soul on his journey to be a real bohemian.
His back and forth between parents is beautifully written about. "Of course I also didn't mention that I dreaded landing in Louisiana. I missed my mother and couldn't understand why she had moved so far away from me. Each time I visited I was afraid to see this person I didn't really know, along with my uncles, cousins, and grandparents, whom I didn't know at all. I felt like a foreign exchange student going off to live with his american family."

"TV was the foreign language they spoke." This struck me as very true. I remember when my children moved back to the united states after living in England and Japan and not knowing who all the celebrities and shows were their peers talked about. Way to feel like a distant ship, like a foreigner yourself. What bonds people is their culture, and like it as not, it seems to be TV here now and then.

I think about the famous writers disillusionment with the seemingly aimlessness that gripped Americans after the war and their hunger to discard the old life for something true, by returning to 'the old world', which sounds absurd and yet somehow made sense. Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein , T.S Eliot, F. Scott Fitzgerald- and yet it seems Spillman is longing for the same throughout his journey. There is bravery here, that not all of us could embrace.

Gorgeous memoir, one of the best I have read in a long time. Those of us who read Tin House know who he is, and are likely chomping at the bit to get their hands on this but it stands on it's own, even without knowing a thing about Tinhouse or Spillman. There may be a little Rob in all of us. Fantastic read! ...more

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Sep 17, 2016 Sandra rated it liked it

Rob Spillman (co-founder and editor of literary magazine Tin House) was born in Germany and raised in Berlin by his musician parents. There and back in the United States when his family (now divorced) returns, he grows up among artists and deep in the theater world. Eventually, Spillman finds his way to New York where he hungers to live the life of an artist which in his eyes means the life of Jack Kerouac or Hunter Thompson or something like that. As part of that search, he convinces his wife t ...more

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Apr 19, 2016 BookBrowse rated it it was amazing

"Spillman captures the rawness of youthful artistic ambition eloquently and self-consciously, the "amplified emotions you only feel in your twenties, when you are wildly changeable." His seeking of authenticity and creative fulfillment, from latching on to early influences like Hunter Thompson to his disappointment in the debauched literary culture of 1980s New York, make for a melancholy but ultimately redemptive journey." - Lisa Butts, BookBrowse.com. Full review at: https://www.bookbrowse.com ...more

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Apr 29, 2016 Joan rated it really liked it

I saw the author at a reading/signing and found him to be very interesting. I did like the book and appreciated how he went back and forth in time. I would recommend reading this book if you like memoirs.

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Jul 23, 2018 Miriam rated it really liked it

Shelves: favorites, spring-summer-2018, need-to-read-again

Aw, shucks. If that final chapter doesn't do you in after everything that came before it, you might not have a soul. ...more

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May 13, 2020 Alex Rob rated it did not like it

This book just isn’t good. I keep hanging in with all its self proclaimed profound coming of age tales, but its just descriptions of things. The author leans on bohemian nostalgia rather than writing that punches. I take it he is a star in the editing world but that’s probably what he should stick with.

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Feb 06, 2016 Greg rated it really liked it

In reading Rob Spillman’s coming-of-age memoir, I was reminded of something one of Don DiLillo’s characters said to describe another person in the recent New Yorker short story, “Sine Cosine Tangent.” “The vivid boy, she whispered. The shapeless man.” Indeed, Spillman seems to have had a vivid boyhood, characterized by living part time with each of his separated musician parents. He seems to have wanted to believe that his closeted gay father was a far more compelling figure than his mother, who In reading Rob Spillman’s coming-of-age memoir, I was reminded of something one of Don DiLillo’s characters said to describe another person in the recent New Yorker short story, “Sine Cosine Tangent.” “The vivid boy, she whispered. The shapeless man.” Indeed, Spillman seems to have had a vivid boyhood, characterized by living part time with each of his separated musician parents. He seems to have wanted to believe that his closeted gay father was a far more compelling figure than his mother, who was, after all, just a mother. With his father, he looked forward to road trips designed to feed his running fantasies; and living in Berlin, Aspen and Upstate New York—all exciting places peopled by all sorts of fascinating artistic types. Conversely, he found living in Baltimore with his mother to be stifling and looked forward to nothing more than escaping just as soon as possible. Both parents loved Robby in their own ways, but each maintained a certain distance from him, a situation that ultimately left him far too much on his own searching for an identity.

Using alternating chapters that give the narrative a sense of simultaneity, Spillman follows his childhood; and his later search as an adult for a bohemian writing lifestyle in Europe, patterned after Hemingway or Kerouac. Driven primarily by anecdotes, the narrative is both intimate and engaging. What Spillman fails to recognize throughout the memoir, however, —and only seems to come to terms with in the final pages—was that he was a perennial outsider who adopted several powerful coping mechanisms. He ran to escape. Although a talented runner, he never realized any of his running fantasies. One of the most troubling and curious anecdotes was his decision to leave his wife while she was obviously experiencing a medical emergency to go for a run through the rubble of East Berlin. He read widely and was obviously moved by what he read, but one gets the sense that this was another way to escape things he did not like, such as boring part time jobs. And most troubling of all, he aspired to being a great writer himself (probably influenced by his artistic father), but never really engaged with it. Instead he did things that actually interfered with it like drinking and partying to excess. Although a man known to like a party, Hemingway once said about writing, “All you have to do is write one true sentence.” Spillman wrote a whole manuscript for a novel that he later realized had no true sentences, so he discarded it.

Although the memoir is replete with colorful anecdotes and does not shrink from the truth, it can be frustrating to read because, filtered through the lens he creates, one sees a young man who was given far too little guidance and allowed to make far too many wrong turns and to venture down far too many blind alleys. He flunked out of college and had three major automobile accidents to mention just two. Clearly, he seems to have been prone to adopting risky behaviors that occasionally panned out, like electing to live in East Berlin prior to unification, but just as likely did not. Knowing that he landed on his feet in the end is a relief and a testament to his intelligence, perseverance and guile.
...more

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Apr 13, 2016 Steve Weddle rated it it was amazing

Rob Spillman’s All Tomorrow’s Parties is a memoir about identity, sure, but it’s also a story about belonging. Andrew Hudgins has a poem about a boy in a church pageant and the poem begins “A boy – ok, it’s me.” That’s the sense from reading Spillman’s magnificent book, a man telling a story about a character who is, who was, himself.

Spillman’s story moves between belongings: from Berlin to the states, from one divorced parent to the other, from artist to young man who doesn’t quite feel like an Rob Spillman’s All Tomorrow’s Parties is a memoir about identity, sure, but it’s also a story about belonging. Andrew Hudgins has a poem about a boy in a church pageant and the poem begins “A boy – ok, it’s me.” That’s the sense from reading Spillman’s magnificent book, a man telling a story about a character who is, who was, himself.

Spillman’s story moves between belongings: from Berlin to the states, from one divorced parent to the other, from artist to young man who doesn’t quite feel like an artist.

Of this book, Anthony Doerr said: “If you’ve ever been young, in love, and desperate to live an authentic life, this book is for you: a ravishing memoir about a young man’s quest for art, meaning, and a place to call home.”

“Desperation” is a good word to associate with this book, with the character who inhabits it. He’s desperate to be an artist, desperate to be loved, to fit in somewhere. When he moves to the states following years in Berlin, he’s clearly a separate person from his classmates, distanced from them. The feeling the story evokes isn’t necessarily one seeking pity. The boy isn’t trying to fit in with this group, necessarily. He isn’t interested in the television shows that interest them, for instance. But he is looking for a place to belong, even if it is within his own skin.

Rob Spillman is editor of Tin House magazine and has written for the New York Times Book Review, Rolling Stone, Sports Illustrated, and many other magazines, newspapers. He worked for Random House and The New Yorker. He knows his way around sentences, around books.

In a sense, this book is quite similar to John Steinbeck’s Journal of a Novel, the letters he wrote to a friend while writing East of Eden. Only, this is more the journal of an artist, of someone who wants more than anything to find his mission as an artist, his place of belonging, his identity. Judging from Spillman’s remarkable work these past decades, he’s found it.

__

This review appeared at DoSomeDamage.com ...more

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Apr 07, 2016 Anne Martin rated it really liked it

Shelves: netgalley-arc

Rob Spillman has -so far had a fascinating life. Born to American expats on Fullbright scholarships, he was raised in Berlin at the time of the iron curtain. He came back to the U.S. with his divorced parents and lived in many different places, looking for "home". When the Perestroika got rid of the travel limitations and the two Berlins could be reunited, of course, Spillman wanted to go back. That is what he did in the very early nineties.
It is quite hard to describe Berlin after the second w ...more

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May 23, 2016 Zach rated it it was amazing

I first met Rob around six years ago, and he's among the people I respect most in the literary community. He's an ambassador for the written word, and he's an outspoken advocate for equity within the industry. If he offers an opinion on a subject, I know to give it due consideration. So for all I've looked up to him, it's was really great reading this memoir and learning more about his human side, too.

All Tomorrow's Parties is a pair of parallel stories covering Rob's childhood and young adultho ...more

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Jan 14, 2020 Gavin rated it it was amazing

Shelves: recycled, non-fiction, memoir-biography

Gets off to a bit of a slow start as the author gets his feet under him, but it picks up nicely in the first few chapters. It's worth staying with it. It is impressive how he develops his emotional awareness, and you feel as though you are really following the path of a boy growing up and becoming a man. I'm often impressed with how authors can describe a series of very similar emotions in different ways. In this case, the author feels rage, lonliness, emotional detachment and fear of facing his ...more

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Apr 06, 2016 Jason McKinney rated it it was amazing

You don't have to be a Tin House fan to enjoy Spillman's tale of his childhood in Berlin and Baltimore, followed by his growing up in his 20s in NYC and Berlin again. There's definitely some pretentiousness here and he does get a tad insufferable at times, but Spillman's writing and structure will win you over in the end. You'll also have an appreciation for his wife, who seems to have put up with quite a bit when they were first together. He's a talented writer though and has some great insight ...more

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Mar 15, 2016 Rachel rated it it was amazing

I have never read a book quite like this one. I wanted not just to travel to the time periods and places Rob Spillman was living in, but to be in his shoes and inhabit his experiences. His lively, enrapturing prose made that nearly possible. Spillman has incredible insight; here is someone laying bare for you many of his youthful aspirations, mistakes, and acquired knowledge, always with the intent of expressing to the reader that a true artist’s calling, the chasing of a dream, is never easy, b ...more

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Aug 03, 2016 Sidik Fofana rated it it was amazing

SIX WORD REVIEW: Fear and Loathing in the Berlins.

By the way, won this in a Goodreads Giveaway.

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Jun 27, 2017 Nicole Marble rated it did not like it

Supposedly about Berlin and reunification but more about teenage angst.

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Sep 06, 2017 Taylor Lindsay rated it it was amazing

This memoir is one of my favorite books.

In an early chapter, eight-year-old Robby sneaks a few U.S. Dollars in his sock from West to East Berlin with his father, an accomplice in purchasing cheap sheet music. “I came to crave this danger, savored it as much as my seemingly inexplicable survival – but quietly, the desire so surreptitious you’d never, ever know that about me.” It's like an intimate motif, this feeling, I saw it popping up through the whole book, and it made the whole experience o This memoir is one of my favorite books.

In an early chapter, eight-year-old Robby sneaks a few U.S. Dollars in his sock from West to East Berlin with his father, an accomplice in purchasing cheap sheet music. “I came to crave this danger, savored it as much as my seemingly inexplicable survival – but quietly, the desire so surreptitious you’d never, ever know that about me.” It's like an intimate motif, this feeling, I saw it popping up through the whole book, and it made the whole experience of reading it very touching, without feeling overly sentimental.

For those who don't know, this is the Tin House Magazine editor. He recounts his quest for self-discovery and his need to “live for art” at age 25 in Germany - months after the Berlin Wall fell, years after he lived there as a child.

More fun facts: The 52-year-old Brooklyn editor and author began writing his story in 2006 several years into his career at Tin House. At age 13, his daughter successfully went on tour with her band “Care Bears on Fire” in 2009 – he came along as her groupie. Now based in Park Slope and teaching at Columbia University, he puts to paper in his early chapters a familiarity with New York City life that rings almost-painfully true to anyone who's lived there also. “I was freelancing as a writer and a fact-checker, while also attempting to write fiction. We were doing what we had vowed – live for art in the creative capital of the world. We were scraping by with an exuberant, drunken group of writer friends willing to put up with high rent, low pay, and shaky prospects. I however, was restless.”

In alternating chapters, Spillman recounts his boyhood in Berlin, adolescence in America, and his adult trajectory through Berlin with his wife, novelist Elissa Schappell. The characters are great and real and Very New York or Very German but not caricatures.

With each page, Spillman’s clutching earnestness makes moments of reflection (which he recalls with striking clarity) as resonating as moments of peril. The result is a story that both reassures and thrills, instead of overpowering with what could have been a flood of action and little resonating wisdom. He creates an adventurous ambience with not only his narrative tone, but a playlist in the form of song titles preluding each chapter, ranging from concertos to Sonic Youth hits. Readers familiar with each song get a leg up on the chapter’s vibe – readers who aren’t would be rewarded by looking them up.

Spillman likes literary Easter eggs apparently. The book is peppered with century-spanning philosophical quotes. This may be the book’s one weakness – some academic references, coupled with a quick aside about their speaker, might confuse the unfamiliar reader. But on the whole, his choice to defer articulation of a certain feeling to one of the masters, brings this meaty fullness to his text.

Favorite part: In a scene from his boyhood, we find Robby speeding away on a bike from losing-team punishment and scolding camp counselors. When he escapes to the beach, he jumps in the ocean. “I lost myself. I would chase this feeling for years… but here, this first time, my bubble was easily burst. As Proust wrote, ‘The anesthetizing influence of habit having ceased, I would begin to have thoughts, and feelings, and they are such sad things.’”

Do read it.

...more

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Jul 03, 2020 Nick rated it really liked it

Spillman is a brilliant writer and this memoir of Berlin during its most interesting decade is worth the read. The best parts are set in the historical moment of wall coming down, East Germany opening up, and the several cultures colliding openly where all had been hidden before. The coming of age story also included resonated with me because my father was on a similar journey as Spillman's, but it reads as if the parties involved were still alive and Spillman was fearful of offending them. He h ...more

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Jan 24, 2019 Ashod rated it really liked it

I'm a sucker for place as character and this book is full of 'em: Underground raves in Berlin, Aspen forests in Colorado, Portuguese fishing villages, Baltimore house parties, East Village dives. Ultimately, it's a passionate love story but along the way the passion extends to art, culture, travel, running, punk music and any number of other topics relevant to my interests, making it a thoroughly enjoyable read. ...more

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Oct 22, 2019 Jay Hinman rated it it was ok

Definitely found this one to be pretty inane, with loads of made-up witty dialogue and some pseudo-introspection that still positions Spillman to be more of a wildman than he actually was. I liked the locations and many of the setups but found so much of this to be rose-tinted memories that didn’t find a whole lot of purchase outside of the person who lived them.

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Jul 10, 2018 Alison rated it liked it

I liked this, but not wowed. Continually jumps back and forth between childhood/youth and his 20s, which wasn't all that hard to keep track of but was repeatedly jarring, particularly when each chapter could be as short as two or three paragraphs. ...more

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Sep 08, 2018 Kristen rated it it was amazing

Shelves: memoirs

An engaging memoir about what it means to live a true artist’s life. I enjoyed the book as a whole, and was fascinated by the author’s experiences as an expat in the incipient days of the former East Germany. I loved the references to music, art and film throughout.

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Jan 31, 2016 Geeta rated it liked it

Shelves: 26-in-2016

I read this in galley via Netgalley, so I don't know how much the Kindle changed the formatting and how that affected my reading of it.

Spillman uses the occasion of living in post wall, pre unification East Berlin to reflect on his life from his birth to musician parents in Berlin (West), their split, his early childhood in Berlin, the return to the States, and his constant search for home. Neither of his parents seem able to provide this; home, he believes, is Berlin.

He returns as an adult wi ...more

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Mar 15, 2016 Susanna rated it really liked it

Shelves: nonfiction, memoir, coming-of-age, music, tin-house-workshop

I eagerly awaited this book, because I'm such a fan of Tin House, and I've heard Rob Spillman talk about what he looks for in a story or essay, so my expectations were high. The more I knew about the book, the more I wanted to read it -- I too sought something more from my existence through art as a young person, I too suffered through parental vagaries, I too have a connection with Germany, and I too found my path through punk music and its offshoots.

The book took a while for me to get into -- ...more

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Mar 17, 2016 Michael rated it it was ok

I’m glad I read this book. The author is a writer and he tells the story of how he grew into that. He does it by alternating chapters - first his childhood, step by step across the years. The other chapters are in one brief period as a young adult. He and his wife and a friend (accompanied by other friends along the way) go to Europe, eventually arriving in Berlin (where he had lived in some of his childhood). They arrive in Berlin as the Wall is falling and in the in-between-time of the real o ...more

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May 15, 2016 Kam rated it really liked it

Very good book. Excellent journey. The destination – not so much, and I will write about that, with spoiler warnings.

This is great involving reading. The journey, the struggle the author goes on. Descriptive, muscular detail. Berlin, Chautauqua, Aspen – musician parents. Back and forth between the past and a more current present.

I was very caught up in this and really loved it.

And then he ended it. Here's your spoiler alert. You can start reading after the second set of three asterisks:

*** What ...more

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Aug 16, 2016 Dana rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: kindled, library, read-in-2016, nonfiction

Again, a book I didn't like or hate. I originally read the first chapter through the Buzz Books Spring/Summer 2016 release. That chapter was about being invited to an East Berlin rave being held under the Wall in an abandoned subway station. That was intriguing enough for me to track down the rest of the book. I kind of wish I hadn't.

The book alternates chapters between Rob's childhood in West Berlin/Rochester/Baltimore/Aspen, and his life in Portugal/East Berlin after the Wall came down but bef ...more

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About Rob Spillman

Rob Spillman

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Rob Spillman is Editor and co-founder of Tin House, a sixteen-year-old bi-coastal (Brooklyn, New York and Portland, Oregon) literary magazine. He is the 2015 recipient of the PEN/Nora Magid Award for Editing as well as the 2015 VIDO Award from VIDA. Tin House is the recipient of the 2015 Firecracker Award for General Excellence and has been honored in Best American Stories, Best American Essays, B ...more

Books by Rob Spillman

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