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The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships

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4.17  ·  Rating details ·  5,726 ratings  ·  620 reviews
Neil Strauss became famous to millions around the world as the author of The Game, a funny and slyly instructive account of how he transformed himself from a scrawny, insecure nerd into the ultra-confident, ultra-successful “pickup artist” known as Style. The book jump-started the international “seduction community,” and made Strauss a household name—revered or notorious—a ...more
Hardcover, Imitation Leather, 448 pages
Published October 13th 2015 by Dey St. Books, an imprint of William Morrow Publishers (first published January 1st 2015)
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Shake Speare He's so sincere. He's the sincerest person who ever lived. No way is his writing 'fluff'. It's a hard-hitting soul-baring expose of a man who has been…moreHe's so sincere. He's the sincerest person who ever lived. No way is his writing 'fluff'. It's a hard-hitting soul-baring expose of a man who has been to the top of the mountain and down in the valley of death. If you've ever wanted to know everything about Neil Strauss and didn't get enough from The Game, Everyone Loves You When You're Dead, and, uh, Rules of the Game, now you have another 500 pages ALL ABOUT STRAUSS! Boo-yah! He'll tell you everything about him, again, and also all these models he boinked and about famous people he knows personally and how he feels about it all. No detail is too insignificant or about Neil is left out. Truly THE story of our times.(less)
Trang He covers this at the beginning pages under "Full Disclosure".

"This book covers a period of approximately four years, during most of which my life was…more
He covers this at the beginning pages under "Full Disclosure".

"This book covers a period of approximately four years, during most of which my life was a roller coaster and many pledges of anonymity were required, particularly from men who wrecked their family's lives and women whose lives I wrecked. In order to compress it into a manageable length, reduce the complexity, get at the truth of relationships, and preserve anonymity, incidents, people, locations, and situations were moved, removed, compounded, or compressed, and certain identifying details, including names, have been changed. If you are reading this and believe you recognize yourself, think again. Your story is the same as that of most others in this book: You cheated and got caught."(less)

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Harris
Oct 20, 2015 rated it really liked it
So full disclosure: I was given a copy of The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships for review, I’ve hung out with Neil and I’m a former pick-up artist myself. So with all that in mind…

The Truth is an interesting book. It’s one that’s fairly easy to be cynical about. I mean, first Neil Strauss becomes famous* for writing a book that taught millions of dudes to try to use Svengali-esque techniques to get laid and now he’s writing about leaving it all behind and embracing monogamy? Like
...more
John Boettcher
Oct 22, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I suggest using protection while reading this book.

WOW! I don't even know where to START with this review. Needless to say I have never read anything more blunt and honest about such a controversial topic in my entire life. When the introduction to the book says, "They say a parent's love is unconditional. We'll see if that's true at the end of the book", you know it's going to be a whopper!

Neil Strauss, writer and author, tell the story of the last couple years of his life where he struggled w
...more
Kurt Russell
Mar 02, 2016 rated it did not like it
This collection of words on paper is absolute garbage - A book about monogamy written by a man-baby who does not understand love. The word is literally used twice in the first 135 pages (I counted.) This fool wrote a book about love and doesn’t even understand the concept. Sex, lust, self-affirmation, trust, companionship… all these tangential issues get tossed about and explored, though the author’s vocabulary is incomplete and inexperienced. Would one trust a blind-man’s opinion of a painting? ...more
Kevin Koskella
Oct 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book had a deep and profound impact on me. I finished the 11 hour audio in 2 1/2 days.

I laughed and cried.

I'd probably have to write for days to articulate everything that was so amazing about this book. Neil's transformation within the book, and his vulnerability throughout were completely enlightening for me.

Coming from being one of the pioneers of the pickup movement, he found that he had to do some deep introspection, in the form of therapy and other methods, to uncover why his childho
...more
Dani

I have so many thoughts on this book.
So many, I’m actually not sure I'll have the patience and emotional stamina to go into all of them. But I’ll try because it is important.

This was a riveting read for me. So riveting at times that it was uncomfortable - in a very challenging, and therefore very good way. Some themes and passages really stressed me out, rattled me, made me very emotional.

I had to pace the audio-read to allow myself to digest, to reflect, to understand why this affected me so
...more
Libby
Oct 25, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Nikmaack
Oct 25, 2015 rated it really liked it
It's a weird book. Strauss is a narcissistic lunatic, who runs all over the place trying to deal with himself. While this is extremely entertaining, it makes his conclusions feel like utter bull. Now he is all better. And I should believe this, why?

Some of his self deceptions border on utter madness. It never occurred to him that he wants to screw around, but that if he let's his gf screw around he is wracked with jealousy. When this happens to him - his jealousy - he is stunned. What? Why is t
...more
Leo Robertson
Jun 19, 2016 rated it it was ok
Eugh.

Some interesting perspectives on relationships, intimacy and sex that were mostly better dealt with in Modern Romance.

It's so depressing to consider how many men there are doing shallow thing after shallow thing and derping all over the place, putting their needs not only before but at the expense of others, trying to figure out why they don't feel spiritually sated. I used to enjoy the empty look in their eyes when these men looked over my shoulder at parties to let me know I had to contin
...more
Ffiona
Mar 22, 2017 rated it it was ok

For a long time this author indulged himself in a debauched sexualized lifestyle, after hitting his middle age he realized his loss of youth equalled a diminished status and so he sorted himself out and settled down with a much younger woman.

His father was an extremely sick man and his mother was selfish and inadequate with no comprehension of appropriate mother child boundaries. Children absorb the consciousness of the adults in their environment.When a parent is emotionally tied up with an unh
...more
Sean Goh
Oct 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book has a lot of things. It has honesty (in spades). It has sex (lots of it, with graphic descriptions). It has hurt aplenty. I'm aware that the author might have airbrushed the story to make it more coherent, but the downward spiral and subsequent long road to recovery made for a riveting read. A textbook on love avoidants and love addicts and all the assorted dysfunction that comes along for the ride.
____
Evidently, men have sex addictions, women have eating disorders. I suppose both shar
...more
Íris
Dec 09, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2016, favorites
It's so rare to find a book that I binge on like it's the last food I'll ever get to taste again.
I love reading, but most books I read in a slow pace, savouring the words, taking my time to comprehend and make myself sure I am understanding the message behind the words.
This book, however, not only is easy to read, it's also incredibly addictive (just as Neil's behavior).

I'm a straight monogamous woman. I'm as predictable as it gets. Lately I've been question the nature of monogamy by observing m
...more
Twerking To Beethoven
Yeah, well, this was ok-ish but not as good as I was expecting it to be. The first part was excellent, what followed was just boring. Also, Rick Rubin is a pretentious, pompous, overblown, obnoxious twat, and he's all over the book. Fuck him.

That said, I loved Neil Strauss's biographies - The Long Hard Road Out of Hell, The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale - as well as his nonfinction. I really enjoyed both The Game:
...more
Peter Knox
Oct 26, 2015 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2015, non-fiction
I read The Game when I was in college, single, and entering the 'real world' - it was a thrilling read and absolutely helped with my personal confidence. The Truth recognizes The Game for what it is, seeking short-term pleasures at the sacrifice of long-term happiness. The Truth is The Game all grown up, and as I read it now as a married man seven years into my best relationship I realize I've grown along with it.

Strauss is a master storyteller of the human guinea pig non-fiction narrative and r
...more
Joey
Mar 20, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2018-3-stars
When I was in college, I read The Game. I soon ended up in a relationship that to this day I regret being in. It's not always a good idea to immediately pick the first available option. No amount of sex can equate to trusting someone. Having more sex with the same person doesn't make you morally correct. It just means you're getting proficient at having sex with the same person.

I enjoyed reading this book the first time, but upon another read it can be summarized pretty easily into 3 simple step
...more
Missy J
description

It is very rare that I review a book that none of my Goodreads friends have read or that they "want to read" or are "currently" reading this book. Nobody! Nobody! Not a single person! (Except you Tiffany, but you never update your reading list!) So I think this review may be special!

This book has been a very long and exhausting emotional roller-coaster! The author Neil Strauss is very brave to publish this book. Since releasing "The Game," a book about pickup artists, the author has found hi
...more
George A
Apr 16, 2017 rated it liked it
I loved The Game, The Dirt, and Emergency, so I was excited for Strauss's latest effort. (It's not often that I bother pre-ordering a book.) So maybe it's because my expectations were so high, but this one turned out to be a disappointment.

Neil Strauss has (or had) severe issues with commitment, trust, and fidelity, and wrote a book about his attempts to solve them. That's fine, except instead of realising how messed up he is, or how personal his issues are, he tries to portray his misadventures
...more
Laleh
Dec 24, 2015 rated it liked it
This book was a bit too intense for me.
To be honest, it was just too carnal.
It ended well, and I guess it was interesting to read all the different stages the author went through, but I think whatever end or motive he had in mind could have been accomplished a lot more simply. But then again, it's a semi autobiography, so the guy is free to write what he damn well wants and not care if some people can't stomach it:))

One other thing I would like to add:
There is already quite enough undeserved pre
...more
Mehrsa
Oct 30, 2018 rated it liked it
I read the Game so I had to read the sequel to see how it ended. So here's the big question: Is he a total fraud or just the most messed up man in America?

The book is like 80% debauchery and then 20% banality. He has to engage in every single sexual arrangement to finally decide that "I guess marriage is good?" I mean, most people could reason that out without assembling a harem of hot messes and going to a naked swingers retreat? Or is the hussle to just write about all his sexual escapades bu
...more
Angus McKeogh
Jul 30, 2018 rated it liked it
Pretty good. Starts out funny and thought-provoking as you follow Strauss through his journey into multiple relationships and sex addiction therapy. There’s even a brief interlude where he tries living in a commune. However, as the book wore on it tended to get repetitive and the last quarter was slathered in cheese. Quasi-relationship therapy book masquerading as a story. Entertaining but I’d still say the best book by him that I’ve read is Emergency.
Joe
Nov 03, 2015 rated it it was amazing
The book is highly interesting and very engaging. It kept my interest the entire way through. As a story of an interesting life, it is certainly up there in my opinion and could be worth 5 stars for that alone.

As a useful guide to help others I found it less so.
There is some useful information earlier in the book while Neil was in therapy at the addition centre and then towards the end of the book there is a brief paragraph on various different therapies and resources the author tried which left
...more
Mender
Jan 18, 2016 rated it liked it
3 1/2 stars. Everything this guy writes is well written, and there are lots of sections in here that I would consider quoting at people as I read it.

Strauss learned how to pick up women doing research for his book The Game (which is actually really good). This means that staying monogamous is much more of a choice for him than it is for most people, and it's a choice he doesn't want to make. Old fashioned and we're not biologically wired for it, etc.

But he's in love with a girl Ingrid, so after
...more
Carl
Jan 20, 2017 rated it it was amazing
My mind is blown. This book delivered way above expectation.

The Truth explores topics that we think about all the time when it comes to relationships. However, due to work, inertia, fear, or other excuses it's rare we're honest with ourselves, going out looking for the difficult answers. Most settle with mediocrity and compromise when it comes to relationships.

In this book, Strauss goes through intense relationship therapy, and experiments with all types of relationships until finding what wor
...more
Tess
Oct 26, 2015 rated it it was ok
I was interested in reading this since my gentleman friend was really excited to read it and he never gets excited about books. Neil Strauss, known player, turned romantic? The book kind of goes into Neil's doubts and fears about relationships, then rehab for sex addiction, then his flip to the complete other side where he gets into swinging/polygamy, then realizes it's all too much for him and wanting to find enlightenment and winning back the woman he was originally with.

While I realize he had
...more
Dustan Woodhouse
Dec 26, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Audiobook version.

The length represented a solid commitment. It was worthwhile. There is something in this book and its diverse cast for everyone. And when you come across a sentence that shines a light in a dark place normally avoided - it is worth pausing and reflecting. Perhaps writing something down to come back to later yourself. It is entertaining, perhaps it is oversharing, certainly it is intriguing.

Thank you for putting yourself out there Neil. I have never read the game, being marrie
...more
Jeff Finley
One of the BEST books on relationships I've ever read. I'm recently divorced after a 12 year monogamous relationship and have been reading a lot about polyamory so it was awesome to see Neil go out and try it for himself. I felt like it helped me heal so many limiting beliefs of my own about sex and love. I loved this book. I wrote a lengthy blog post about my feelings over at http://makermistaker.com/the-truth ...more
Tauri
Nov 14, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Wow. It really is one of those books you should read before getting thirty. Actually no matter your age the book makes you think on things that matter and to ask the right questions. One of the best reads of 2018 for me.
Mack Hayden
Nov 30, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fun-fun-fun
This book is arguably even more absurd than its predecessor. It takes sex addiction rehab, swinging, Eastern-tinged ritual orgies, doomed polyamorous arrangements, and a whole lot of chaos for the author to come to the conclusion that maybe he shouldn't think exclusively with his little brain. It's astonishing it isn't written in blank verse, such an amazing journey of self-realization should've only been put to paper as an epic poem. Like Sisyphus pushing his rock, Neil Strauss tries to justify ...more
Francesco Portoso
Sep 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Very useful to reflect about how our self-esteem, behavior, choices, and perspective in relationships are influenced by external factors that we are likely not aware of. The author goes through a long journey to understand what he really needs in a relationship to be fulfilled, with exhaustive analysis of each step. This leads to the importance of emotional health, usually lacking to certain extent in most of us. Fun to read, many lessons to be learned.
Rae
Aug 16, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book is gross, selfish and beautiful. I found myself crying at times because of the open honesty and true healing undergone. This is not a fairytale, it is a story of someone hitting rock bottom and deciding they want to grow. My favorite quote, "They say love is blind, but it’s trauma that’s blind. Love sees what is." I see this book as it is.
Oisín Hoy
Feb 17, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2020
Wow so powerful. I love Neil's way of writing. I feel like I'm living his journey when I'm reading his books. This is another deep dive into relationships. His quest to find his ideal. Lots of experimentation. Fascinating. A page turner
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Neil Strauss is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The Game, Rules of the Game, Emergency, and Everyone Loves You When You're Dead. He is also the coauthor of four other bestsellers--Jenna Jameson's How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, Mötley Crüe's The Dirt, and Marilyn Manson's The Long Hard Road Out of Hell, and Dave Navarro's Don't Try This at Home. He can be found at www.neilstrauss.c ...more

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