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I'm the Vampire, That's Why

(Broken Heart #1)

3.87  ·  Rating details ·  8,909 ratings  ·  482 reviews
Broken Heart is the city with the highest rate of divorce and highest percentage of single parents in Oklahoma. And I, Jessica Matthews, have been a member of that club ever since my husband dumped me for his twentysomething secretary and then had the gall to die in a car accident. Now I’m not just a single mother trying to make ends meet in this crazy world....I’m also a ...more
Paperback, 321 pages
Published September 5th 2006 by Signet (first published September 1st 2006)
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3.87  · 
Rating details
 ·  8,909 ratings  ·  482 reviews

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Traci Wallace
Oct 26, 2011 rated it did not like it
I started this book thinking it was going to be a fun, light, sassy read. I really wanted to like it. But after a little over 100 pages I had to stop. Reasons for doing so:

It was very inconsistent – So many things contradicted each other. In one scene she burst through the roof of an RV, a handful of pages later, it was noted that the van had such strong walls/roof/floor that not even vampire strength could dent it. Umm ok???
Just like when she woke the first night she noticed her heart wasn’t b
Read this on my vacation. It was okay. Not life-changing or even as funny as I had hoped. I'm not reviewing it because I need to catch-up on 50 million things.
Feb 08, 2011 rated it did not like it
Shelves: abandoned
There's a difference between fun, lighthearted vampire fiction and the ridiculous. This one was ridiculous. It had too many elements:

* Jessica, a bitter ex-wife who's now an ex-widow, she's also the descendent of some Irish magic. Her ancestor's curse means no one in her town of Broken Heart, Oklahoma will ever find love. She is attacked by a monster, and then saved by the Irish non-monster version of the same person. Very confusing.

*Her husband's girlfriend has a change of heart and apologizes
I'm the Vampire, That's Why was a pretty good book. Jessica was a funny MC. She was a single mom who became a vampire. It also doesn't hurt that there's Patrick, the sexy Irish Vampire either.

Now I shipped the heck out of these two; However, life is cruel to me because Jessica was having trouble committing to him. Well, it could've been because of the whole weird bond thing that would have to happen.. and the fact that she has human ass kids too. The one thing that sort of threw me off was the w
Apr 05, 2011 rated it really liked it
Taken From:

There's a new breed of soccer mom in town-with fangs.

Does drinking blood make me a bad mother? That's the question single mom Jessica Matthews faces when she wakes from a savage attack sucking on the thigh of Patrick O'Halloran, a super-hot Irish vampire who'd generously offered his femoral artery to save her from death...only to make her one of the undead.

Jessica can't rest until the beast that did this to her is caught. Meanwhile, she's havin
Jun 23, 2008 rated it liked it
Story centers around a suburban mom (Jessica Matthews) who gets mauled by a hairy creature as she takes out the trash. She wakes up later to find that the creature nearly killed her and so she had to be Turned into a vampire. Thusly she discovers a whole world she didn't know existed that has vampires, wolf shapshifters, and humans working together, but they also have enemies. Starts off interesting, but about third or halfway through begins feel repetitive. Lots of mom jokes and snarking off at ...more
Jul 16, 2017 rated it it was amazing
My Thoughts - 5 out of 5 Unicorns - I loved it!!!
***I choose what I read and review based on what intrigues me!! I bought this in paperback, but no one tells me what to think, feel, or write about any book! I have also bought the rest of the series to read in paperback!! Woohoo!!

The cover is cartoony, and I really like it!

This is the first book in the Broken Heart series! Michele Bardsley is fast becoming one of my favorite authors. She makes the world come alive. This is for adults only due to
Mar 10, 2010 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: Paranormal Romance Readers
Is fear rith maith nά drochseasamh.
And that means what?
A good run is better than a bad stand.
Oh. And that means what?
It means, Jessica, that life is about choices. Sometimes you fight, sometimes you flee, but you never surrender.

This book in its sheer simplicity, has taught me this important life lesson. Also it tried to teach me Gaelic terms, which unfortunately, my brain refuses to process.

Jessica Matthews, single mom of two, was attacked and left bleeding to death on the pavement. She wa
Jan 15, 2009 rated it it was ok
Shelves: read-in-2009
I thought this would be a fun book to read, and it was, if somewhat annoying also.

It is about a single mother in the small town of Broken Heart, Oklahoma who, while taking out the garbage, is attacked and killed, but wakes up to find that she has been turned into a vampire. She also finds out that the same has happened to ten other people in Broken Heart. Most of the book is spent with her trying to figure out how to be a vampire and still raise her two children, all while falling for the hunky
May 16, 2011 rated it it was ok
2.5 stars. Guess the author is a big Mary Janice Davidson fan, apart from mentioning her in the book she also tried to copy her writing style without the same result.
This book definitely had its funny moments but it also had some WTF moments, too.
Don't know if I liked it enough to continue reading the series.
Mar 03, 2019 rated it liked it
Nothing spectacular or genre defining, but a decent read. Albeit, a bit long at times.
t'irla ~The Bookslayer~ t'irla's Talk Book Blog
Sep 13, 2011 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: anyone who enjoys humor and vamps
Shelves: owned
I went into this book as a filler, waiting to receive the next book in a series I was reading not really expecting much. It was a single book I had hanging around and I didn't have any of the rest of the series so I thought I was "safe". Well!! Imagine my surprise when I fell head over heels for Jessica and Patrick.

Jessica is your normal everyday single Mom. Patrick is your millennium + old Vampire. Patrick and his group decide Broken Heart, Oklahoma is a good place to set up offices since their
Abandoned this, tried to read it again, and abandoned it again after slogging through some more chapters.

Couldn't stop rolling my eyes while reading.

It was just too absurd--the story too pat, and with vampires being the ultimate Mary Sue. Need anything? Poof! Vampires magic anything you want out of thin air. Need to get somewhere? Poof! Vampires fly there. 11 people dead? Poof! Vampires resurrect them all as more vampires! Need to learn combat? Get vampire-magicked sword from thin air and voil
Jul 11, 2010 rated it really liked it
I REALLY enjoyed this one A LOT!...there were a bunch of laugh out loud moments and a few heartwarming ones too (if you're a'll relate). The story is told in 1st person..from the "h" point of view and she's very funny! I don't usually go into any details in my reviews 'cause I'm always afraid that I'll give away too much I'll just say that if you're a fan of vampire humor ...and you have a "thing" for Scottish vamps! I DO!..then def. check this one out! Super cute l ...more
Oct 21, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Extremely enjoyable. I heartily thank the fellow shopper at Barnes & Noble who recommended it to me.
Wow, is this what women are reading right now? I bought this set at the library expecting some fluffy chick lit about vampires and instead I got - well, THAT - but also a lot of sex. Page after page of silly lovemaking scenes with a too gorgeous vampire who's way too possessive.

I liked Jessica, the turnblood. There were funny parts but really this entire book was just a pretence. They only needed a thin plot to divide the many sessions where they keep "doing it".

I got annoyed. I rolled my eyes.
Literary Ames {Against GR Censorship}
A single parent protagonist? And of under-18s too. Something different -Whoo-hoo!

The humour for me was hit-and-miss (Woobies? Seriously?) but what really intrigued me was Jessica's relationship with her dead husband, Rich and his mistress, Charlene and their baby, little Richie. The emotional side of things. You can't help feeling for Jess while she's trying to figure out how to deal the mistress of her dead husband now permanently entrenched in her life as another new vampire, sharing the same
May 10, 2012 rated it did not like it
Shelves: 2014
People often lament the quality of the writing in the Twilight series but compared to this Twilight is a masterpiece. Yes it is that bad.

The story follows Jessica Matthews newly turned vampire who is also a widow bringing up two children in a small Oklahoma town. I didn't expect it to be Shakespeare just a fun read. But it reads as though it was written by a teenager and one who uses expressions like "anyhoodles", "chickiepoo" "ooey-gooey-do-me-mode" "tough noogies" may be this is the way they
Truth to be told, I was not sure I’d like this book when I first downloaded it to my trustee calibre. Some of the chick-lits that are supposed to be funny are either really funny or annoying. I am glad to say this is a satisfying and fun read.

The heroines voice, was thank goodness not annoying and whiny; though it reminds me of an amusing, teenager with a sarcastic and snarky humour. It gets irritating and rubs me off the wrong way every now and then because she keeps acting more like a child t
Lady Allison
Jul 26, 2010 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: Funny vamp book fans
Recommended to Lady Allison by: Angelique Anderson
Shelves: shifters, vamps
Jessica Matthews is still getting over the death of her cheating husband and learning how to manage being a single mom when she is mauled by a crazy lycanthrope and wakes up undead. Along with 12 other citizens of her tiny town, Broken Heart, in the middle of Oklahoma (makes me wanna sing the song). Her Master, Patrick O'Halloran, is a sweetheart of an Irishman & one of the oldest vampires alive (well, undead). He also happens to be her soulmate.

There is a lot of courting, almost sex, and a
Mrs. Missive
Apr 23, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-2011
Why oh why is this series not in ebook!?!?!?!? It is just wrong I tell you! This book was so much fun!

I loved the author's and the main character's snarky sence of humor. This book had me laughing out loud.

Our main character is a single mom of two who gets attacked on the way to take out the garbage. Her son's chore by the way. Many of the situations/interactions took a little leap of faith on my part as a reader, but's a world with vampires. Let's suspend our belief a little.

Jessica i
Nov 10, 2010 rated it really liked it
This was a really funny, sweet book. I liked it a lot.

Who would think you could get turned into a vampire while taking out the garbage. Well it happened to Jessica Matthews, and 10 other people that same night.

Jessica wakes up to her fangs in the femoral artery of Patrick O'Halloran, master vampire and her soul mate. The problem is Jessica doesn't believe in soul mates, she's a widow with 2 small kids, who was in the middle of a divorce when her husband died.

So the premise of this series is that
Parts of this book amused me to no end, but parts were a little churlish. As an example, the amount of times the author used the word woobies to refer to testes numbered at least 4. I always thought that a woobie was a child's security blanket. I guess you learn something new everyday. Even with woobie-madness, I still laughed out loud a few times while reading this and enjoyed the book.

If you're a fan of authors like Katie MacAlister or MaryJanice Davidson, you will likely enjoy this style of
Jun 04, 2010 rated it really liked it
Shelves: pnr, elves-fae, vampires
Funny book about a vampire mom.

In short she is trying to find a way to tell her kids she is a vamp, then she has to deal with her cheating husbands mistress who is also a vamp, and her feelings for another vamp. All while trying to figure out who is torturing people and vamps alike.

I have never read a book by Michele Bardsley, but it was great! The book keeps a good pace and has plenty of interesting characters.
Apr 14, 2009 rated it it was ok
I liked the author's witty style it was a fun read. But what really turned me off and got me annoyed was that there was so much "sex" it was all about the guy and how gorgeous he was..and how it was hard for the main character to stay away from him.. and blah turned out to be kinda trashy with all the talk about sex.

I guess what I was looking for was a fun read with "Clean" romance...
Aug 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2019-read
I absolutely adored this story, she was hilarious, the plot kept you focus and on edge an overall wonderful read. Can’t wait to read the series
Jan 09, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is a re-read. I read it the first time in January and now again in October.

So, the first time I read it I didnt like Jessica...not so much. Although I still find her indecisive about Patrick until the last freaking minute. I liked her this time. I think Michele did some improvements because I didnt find the mistakes this time that I noticed when I first read it. I didnt feel any plot holes or missing information that I did last time either. I found Patrick just as hot and endearing as well
Cid Tyer
May 21, 2010 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2010-books, favorites
This was an adorable book. My friend Suzan told me I’d like them but I didn’t jump on into reading them until now, and I quite simply must read them all! The writing is delightful; I laughed so hard!

The Setting — is Broken Heart, Oklahoma, where the population is primarily single parents, most of whom are nursing broken hearts, thus the tiny town is quite aptly named.

The Characters — are quirky and funny. I really liked the main character, Jessica, and her struggle to be both undead and a mother
Sep 06, 2009 rated it did not like it
Alright, I go into each book with an open mind and a willing spirit of adventure, ready for the author and the story to take me where it will, and hoping to enjoy the ride.

I made it about 1/2 through this book and hit the brakes. Stop the ride, I wanna get off.

The author's style really isn't bad from a literary stand-point. It's the execution of the plot that really had me going, "Why the hell am I reading this?"

I I can't even describe how little I cared. It's a great idea. I l
Crystal S
This was a funny and occasionally cheesy book. I enjoyed it, especially since it's been a while since I've read a less-than-serious paranormal.

Stars are lost for a few reasons. It had too many characters (I get that this is the series introduction, but still). I had a hard time remembering who is who. Occasionally, especially at the beginning, it seems that Jessica is not very concerned about her children. She makes up for this by the end though, so perhaps it can be chalked up to the stress an
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Goodreads Librari...: Add kindle edition of "I'm the vampire that's why" 2 150 Jul 02, 2013 07:19PM  

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New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Michele Bardsley writes humorous paranormal romances and funny paranormal mysteries. Michele likes to write, read, crochet hats, drink wine, and eat chocolate!

Visit her website!

Other books in the series

Broken Heart (1 - 10 of 14 books)
  • Don't Talk Back To Your Vampire (Broken Heart #2)
  • Because Your Vampire Said So (Broken Heart #3)
  • Wait Till Your Vampire Gets Home (Broken Heart #4)
  • Over My Dead Body (Broken Heart #5)
  • Come Hell or High Water (Broken Heart #6)
  • Cross Your Heart (Broken Heart #7)
  • Must Love Lycans  (Broken Heart, #8)
  • Only Lycans Need Apply (Broken Heart, #9)
  • Broken Heart Tails (Broken Heart, #10)
  • Some Lycan Hot (Broken Heart, #11)
“Patrick: Is fear rith maith nά drochseasamh.
Jessica:And that means what?
Patrick: A good run is better than a bad stand.
Jessica: Oh. And that means what?
Patrick: It means, Jessica, that life is about choices. Sometimes you fight, sometimes you flee, but you never surrender.”
“Why are you naked?" "The better to feed you, m'dear." He pointed between his legs and my gaze roved along his cock. Then I saw his forefinger tapping his inner thigh. "Femoral artery." "Riiight. And the major vein in your neck wasn't good enough because… ?" One black brow winged up and those delicious lips curved into a naughty smile. "Ah. Because then I wouldn't have had an excuse to get naked.” 16 likes
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