Worth the Trouble

St. James #2

by Jamie Beck

Cover girl Cat St. James’s picture-perfect life is anything but flawless. Luckily, she’s a master of hiding the truth from the camera. Relying on that skill, she conceals her latest secret from her family while attending her brother’s wedding. Her only trouble now is Hank Mitchell—the soft-spoken carpenter she’d once brushed aside. Seeing him at the reception underscores her private heartache and ignites unwelcome longing, which she promptly drowns in champagne.

Hank is no stranger to sacrifice, having set aside his own ambitions to take care of his family. One thing he won’t forsake is his pride, which Cat already wounded once. But when the maddening beauty’s reckless behavior forces him to rush to her rescue, he sets in motion a series of events that leads Cat to make a business proposal granting him his dream job.

When Cat and Hank mix business with pleasure, promises and secrets unravel, and each must decide if and what they’ll surrender for love.

Genres: Romance, Contemporary Romance, Contemporary, Chick Lit, Fiction, Audiobook, Family

322 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 23, 2016

About the author

Jamie Beck is a Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestselling author of 18 novels, which have been translated into multiple languages and have sold more than three million copies worldwide. She is a two-time Booksellers' Best Award finalist, a Women’s Fiction Writers Association STAR award finalist, a National Readers' Choice Award winner, and critics at Kirkus, Publishers Weekly, and Booklist have respectively called her work "smart," "uplifting," and "entertaining." In addition to writing novels, she enjoys dancing around the kitchen while cooking and hitting the slopes in Vermont and Utah. Above all, she is a grateful wife and mother to a very patient, supportive family.

Fans can learn more about her on the web (www.jamiebeck.com). She also loves interacting with everyone on Facebook (www.facebook.com/JamieBeckBooks) and Instagram (@writerjamiebeck).

My newsletter subscribers get monthly fun tips, a chance to win a reader gift box, and other exclusive content. Sign up now! https://bit.ly/JBeckNewsletter. For updates on discounts and new releases, follow me on BookBub at http://bit.ly/2GBcLM3. NO SPAM--EVER.

Reviews

[Syndi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Worth the Trouble is the last book I read in this series. Although, I do not remember a fond connection with other books, I like Worth the Trouble very much.
Miss Beck gentle and sweet story telling wins my heart. And Hank... oh he is such a gentle soul.

Miss Beck as always a talented writer. Her opposite attract chemistry is spot on. There are a lot of moral messages on this book. Especially about family and love. Both Hank and Cat is torn apart by their obligation.
I am happy they find their HEA.

4 stars

[Geo Marcovici · Rating 4 out of 5]

"A meritat strădania" este povestea lui Cat St James, un fotomodel renumit a cărei carieră se apropie de sfârșit. Iar conștientizarea acestui fapt vine alături de o lovitură cruntă pe care destinul a hotărât să i-o aplice: lupta cu infertilitatea, mai exact cu menopauza timpurie... și toate acestea în pragul nunții fratelui său mai mare - David și a celei mai bune prietene - Vivi.
O lectură alertă, o lecție de viață deosebită, emoționantă, care ne atrage chiar de la primele pagini și ne menține curiozitatea activă până la final.
Hank Mitchell este prietenul și angajatul fratelui ei Jackson, un bărbat serios și cu bun simț, a cărui viață privată este cu adevărat privată. Puține persoane au cunoștință despre faptul că acesta s-a angajat după terminarea liceului doar pentru a-și ajuta mama să le crească pe surorile sale.
Deși atracția dintre cei doi aproape că produce electricitate de câte ori se apropie unul de celălalt, ambii sunt frământați de griji și probleme care îi apasă și îi fac reticenți în a se implica într-o relație. Cu atât mai mult cu cât Cat a reușit să îl rănească atunci când a flirtat cu el doar pentru distracție, întorcându-se apoi la fostul iubit, care a reușit să-i dea viața peste cap tinerei.
O lectură care te face să te întristezi, să suferi alături de personaje și să te miri de curajul tinerei de a se ridica din momentul greu pe care îl traversează.
Împreună cu Hank, decide să îl ajute pe acesta să își realizeze visul de a crea mobilă artizanală. Astfel că investește timp și bani, învață despre această afacere, își folosește relațiile pentru a-l promova.
Ba chiar se implică într-o relație cu acesta, chiar dacă ține secret față de Hank faptul că nu poate rămâne însărcinată...
Totuși, cel care dă înapoi este Hank. Atunci când mama sa bolnavă este internată de urgență în spital, acesta decide să plece chiar în mijlocul unui eveniment ce este menit să promoveze parteneriatul lor, lăsând-o pe Cat să se descurce cu toate.
Deși recunosc că primul volum al seriei m-a încântat, acesta mi s-a părut mai slab. Ceva a lipsit. Am avut senzația că finalul acestei povești a fost scris pe repede-nainte, fără a da senzația de credibilitate. Mi s-a părut forțat.

[Ian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Two years earlier Cat chose another man over Hank. A man who turned out to be violent and abusive. Now she has kicked him to the kerb but fate once again throws her a curve-ball. In quick succession she learns that for a model 28 is over the hill, and adding to her problems she is diagnosed with early onset menopause and will not be able to have children.

Despite that she is determined to forge a new path, to land on her feet. When Hank delivers a hand-made end table to her best friend, Cat sees her chance. She sets out to convince him to partner with her in a business making exclusive hand-made furniture. But with an ailing mother and a younger sister he is putting through college, money is tight and he can't afford to risk what he has to follow his dreams.

Both have reasons why a relationship is impossible. Hank's family relies on him, and in Cat's mind her infertility dooms her to being the spinster aunt. For a relationship to have a chance, he will need to learn to follow his dreams and she will need to learn to open up.


Jamie Beck writes fairly typical contemporary romance. She follows the rules of the genre and honestly I can name a few books that share the same basic plot as Worth the Trouble. I would also say they don't do it as well as Jamie Beck.

The big names in Contemporary Romance, names like Jill Shalvis and Susan Elizabeth Phillips need to watch their backs. There is a new generation of writers who are making the genre their own, and Jamie Beck is one of them.

Many thanks to Montlake Romance and Netgalley for providing me with this ARC

[BookLover · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC requested through Netgalley, and kindly provided by Montlake Romance in exchange for an honest review.

After racing through the first book in this series, I was super excited to have the opportunity to read the follow-up. In the first book, we were introduced to the St. James siblings.

This book told Cat and Hank’s story. In Worth the Wait, we got a glimpse into Cat’s insecurities. Despite being a beautiful model and smart business woman, Cat never felt good enough. These esteem issues led her to makes some poor decisions, particularly when it came to relationships. I sympathized with her fear in getting involved with Hank.

Besides being a nice guy, Hank was a bit of an unknown going into this story. I loved him. He had a stressful and full plate in the form of a being a caretaker to his sick mom and younger sisters and working a busy construction job with Cat’s brother. He was sweet, vulnerable and a perfect match for Cat. I loved their story.

Jamie Beck’s stories are full of well written stories with rich characters. I always get lost in her stories. Great read!!!

I can't wait for Jackson's story.

[Alaina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Worth the Trouble is about David's sister, Cat, and their friend Hank. It is also a dual POV, which I just love reading/listening from.

From the first book, Worth the Wait you sort of knew about something that happened between Cat and Hank but you didn't really know their reaction from how everything went down between them..

Cat and Hank shared a night with sweet kisses. However, the next day Cat chose another man. A horrible man. Thank god she found reason one day, after seeing her best friend Vivi get hurt from her crazy psychotic ex. However, she definitely has to deal with the consequence whenever she sees Hank. WHICH IS ALL OF THE TIME APPARENTLY.

Now we all know that they both have feelings for one another because we are reading from both of their POVs - however, it takes them forever (seriously it was a snails pace) for them to finally man up and say what they felt out loud.

When they finally did that.. well, I was in love with them being in love. I loved them so freaking much that I screamed, shouted, jumped in the air, and was overall super ecstatic about them being together. Five hundred cheers for those two.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. I loved how they took things SUPER slow and everything ended.

I need the third book because it's about JACKSON.

[Dísir · Rating 3 out of 5]

The superficial life where only image matters is the one that Cat St. James knows and has lived. Now faced with a dying career and a medical diagnosis that renders her infertile, she's desperate to find a new distraction to take her away from that new reality. Setting Hank Mitchell in her sights for a proposition he can't possibly refuse, she throws everything into it, but Hank, already wary about being brushed off, wonders if he can trust her when all she'd done is to let him down and keep him out.

Family drama abounds (yet again) in this series - which is almost akin to watching a hyped-up version of a soap opera. 'Worth the Trouble' succeeds on the strength of Jamie Beck's writing that succinctly carves open the yearnings of the human heart, but even that can't draw my sympathies for the entire St. James family whose behaviour kept me cringing and shaking my head. In the maelstrom of revelations, I could only feel sorry for Hank the outsider, who was simply torn by his loyalties through no fault of his own. Having his innate kindness and compassion flung in his face by different members of the St. James family wasn’t what he deserved - Cat included, whose hypocritical and selfish actions were meant to protecting her own secrets and her barricaded heart at the expense of Hank's sacrifices.

Overall, that great deal of feeling and emotion that a pairing should invoke wasn't quite present for me, but I'll admit I'm curious enough to read more of Jackson St. James's book when it appears.

*ARC by netgalley
(Grateful as always, mind)

[Bette Hansen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very enjoyable read that is very well written with characters that are well developed and very intriguing. It was very nice the way the author gave us updates on all the characters we got to know in the first book. This is the second book in the St. James series from Ms. Beck but it is easily read standalone.

In this one we really get to know Cat St. James. She's always be the pretty impetuous St. James sibling so with her modeling career apparently coming near it's end, she's lost as to what the next step in her life should be. Hank Mitchell knows all about responsibility. It's all his life is about. After his father died and his mother began her decent into early onset Alzheimer's, caring for his mother and sisters has been firmly on his shoulders. Finding time in his life for anything else just isn't possible. His attraction to Cat St. James isn't something he can ignore though. Even though they had a rough initial meeting last year there is still something about her he can't resist. What starts as business quickly turns personal but will either of these two be able to go after what they really want??

A very good read and one I would definitely recommend.

[Clorie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 good plot stars

The only reason this wasn't 4 stars is because I really felt the ending was rushed. The idea was awesome and Cat and Hanks story and obstacles was by far the most interesting to me, but it wasn't flushed out enough.

They had fuel to make this an amazing book but it was just too rushed. Still good dialogue. Open and direct.

On to #3 and to find out if the other siblings ever find out the dad was a cheat and who Jackson is going to be with.

[Vikki Vaught · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Musings

There is lots of emotion in this book. I loved both the hero and the heroine. It was great visiting. With the characters from book 1. Can't wait to read the next one in this series. Happy 📚!

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful series.... on to the next one!

[Ivy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cat ist als Model international erfolgreich aber mit 28 ist ihre beste Zeit bereits vorbei. Und dann bestätigt ihr Arzt das auch noch... Bei der Hochzeit ihres Bruders ertrinkt sie ihre Unsicherheit und ausgerechnet Hank kümmert sich um sie, der Angestellte ihres anderen Bruders, den sie für ihren gewalttätigen Ex sitzen lassen hat.
Hank arbeitet bei Jackson, nachdem er alle seine Träume aufgegeben hat um seine vier Schwestern aufs College zu schicken und jetzt muss er auch seine Mutter pflegen, deren Alzheimer die Situation immer schwieriger macht.
Ein gemeinsames Business ist für Cat die große Chance, für Hank aber das große Risiko. Und Arbeit und Vergnügen zu mischen gibt erst Recht Schwierigkeiten. Vor allem weil das die Chance für Hank ist, Cat aber nicht riskieren will, dass er sich auch für sie opfert...

Über Hank lässt sich nicht Schlechtes sagen, außer dass er wirklich zu gut und aufopfernd ist. Und wie das mit den Guten so ist, wird auch er ausgenutzt. Eine Situation mit seiner Schwester hat mich stellvertretend für ihn wirklich wütend gemacht und auch Jackson, der mir sonst wirklich sympathisch war, hat ihm viel abverlangt.
Cat war mir sympathisch, oft aber auch zu stur. Dafür war ihr Enthusiasmus und ihre ambitionierte Art beeindruckend.
Beide verbringen viel Zeit damit abwechselnd an sich und an dem anderen zu zweifeln und zu verzweifeln. Aber trotz der ganzen Negativität hat mir die Geschichte um die beiden gut gefallen. Und dank der emotionalen Darstellung der jeweiligen Gedanken, Monologen und Auseinandersetzung werden beide nachvollziehbar.

Es ist typisch Contemporary, natürlich ist das Ende vorhersehbar aber der Weg dahin hat mich gut unterhalten. Und auch wenn der Plot nichts absolut Neues ist, war wenigstens der Verlauf ein wenig anders. Auch wenn Einiges an Kitsch dabei ist.

Ich mag die St. James und nachdem mich bei dem ersten Buch noch Vieles gestört hat, hat mir das schon besser gefallen. Und die Andeutungen zu Jackson’s Problem und der Interventionen bin ich gespannt wie es mit ihm weitergeht.

[Viviana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cute read. I was very annoyed with Catalina a lot of this book. :)

[Laurie Bouchard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

This book was just as good as the first one in the series. I can't wait to start book 3. Easy reading and hard to put down.

[gary cromer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good read

Love the St. James Book 1, Book 2, and excited to read Book 3. Covers everyday busy lifestyles with a twist of romance. Thank you, Jamie Beck! Kristy Cromer

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a solid 4 star book for me until 90% where I dropped a star because this view point is not it for me.

“I’d already be a dad if Alison hadn’t aborted our child. But she didn’t love me. She didn’t want to marry me. And she didn’t want to be a mother.”
"Then Alison decided to terminate the pregnancy. She wouldn’t even consider having the baby and letting me raise it on my own, even though I begged.”
So I don't agree that she has to take his opinion into account whether to have the baby. Its her body. Yeah it sucks but I personally think him calling her selfish proves her point. Your feelings don't matter as much as that of the person carrying it and realistically say she have the baby. How would that baby feel knowing its unwanted by its mother? Go adopt ffs. Just really pissed me off.

That being said. Onto the two actual main characters. I found her storyline very hard. Struggling with my own fertility at the moment and this just hit me in the feels. I saw another review to say they didn't like Cat but I did because I felt her struggle there.

Romance was good in the end.

[A Klue · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one was a mixed grab bag for me, folks. Finding out at the beginning, the main couple could have already had a HEA if the heroine had not chosen to go back to her on/off again boyfriend after briefly meeting/flirting with the hero several months ago, I wasn’t sure I wanted to get involved in their second chance romance. Of course, the restraining order she had to get against her now ex confirms she didn’t choose wisely. Basically, she was hoodwinked by his extreme impress the girl dating techniques when he returned in the previous book and whisked her off to see the world in his jet.

What had me continue reading this one to see if it was worth the trouble of weeding through that kind of drama? Well, mostly the good guy hero and the glamorous heroine. The ex does make an appearance in this one, but in a negative “no love still lingering here” kind of way, at least not for her.

The majority of this book had the main couple doubting themselves, each other, and so much drama about other negative things in their life, I started to feel they never were going to find it in their hearts to commit to one another. But it was great to see them find healing and peace when they did let their guards down and acted as a couple.

What did I like? The famous model heroine and the good guy hero were sweet together, when they weren’t arguing, that is. It’s pretty hard to say anything bad about him at least. She, on the other hand, was feisty, obviously used to flirting/batting her eyes and getting her way pretty much all the time, but was also portrayed as a sad damsel in distress over the fact she recently found out she couldn’t have children. Hence, why she kept refusing to be in a long term relationship with a man, because she felt she’d be robbing him of fatherhood.

Though I read through to the end, I was somewhat exhausted by the back and forth love connection of this main couple.

Though the hero had so much responsibility heaped on him he didn’t need/want more drama in his life, he was a little too quick to give up on his lady love at one point. She, however, ultimately made him happy, so I’m glad the good guy did wind up with the girl he truly wanted. She certainly seems to recognize/appreciate now what a great guy he is.

Book 1 - Worth the Wait, Pages: 304, 3/14/15, (Vivi & David)
Book 2 - Worth the Trouble, Pages: 322, 2/23/16 (Catalina & Hank)

Goodreads Romance Safety Gang: She walked away from him a little over a year ago and went back to a previous boyfriend, which she regretted. Hero seemed determined to resist her at first, which included getting cozy with/kissing a girl named Amy, at a wedding. Cat’s ex-fiancee comes back, but she doesn’t want anything to do with him.

(This review is based on Kindle Unlimited version, not ARC ebook.)

[Rachael · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yikes

I don't see why she felt the need to throw in some anti-choice rhetoric toward the end. Or to have a character think that an infertile woman would 'never become a mother' as if birthing a child is what makes a mother.

This book was fine for the first 60% or so, but then it dragged on and eventually hit me in the face. Just, the idea that a woman STOLE something from a man by having an abortion - boy, you are 30 years old, why don't you find someone else to have babies with instead of wallowing like an asshole.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

This wasn’t as good as some of Jamie Beck’s other books. I wanted more on Hank & Cat’s emotional connection vs the physical. I’ll still finish the series, because I’m really interested to finish Jackson’s story. Overall, not terrible. Some parts were stretched out unnecessarily & other parts needed more depth. Good bones.

[Gwyneth Cage · Rating 2 out of 5]

4 stars but demoted to two because I find it very upsetting that the whole Jackson thing was about how his gf “stole” his baby from him but seriously it should be her choice if she doesn’t want to destroy her body even if she wouldn’t have to raise the kid herself

[Alyse · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book just didn't work for me. I felt that it focused on how "crappy" Cat and Hank found their lives. Idk Found them both shallow in different ways. =/

[TJ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great writing, just had trouble liking the main characters.

[Danielle's · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s fair to say I’m a fan of Jamie Beck. Anything with her name on I know I’m going to love before I even know what it is about. This is the second book in the St James series. I would recommend you read the first book before this one because this one gives you more to the happily ever after for David and Vivi. Both are free if you have kindle unlimited which is an added bonus. With this said Worth the trouble can be read as a standalone.
This book is about Catalina’s story (David’s sister from book one). Her last relationship was a bad one and she is beginning to notice a pattern to the kind of man she tends to date. Cat is a cover girl and she seems to attract men who want her as a trophy rather than what is deeper than the surface. To the outside world her life appears to be glamorous and picture perfect. Underneath the glossy photo, Cat has discovered some life changing information and worries about the impact it could have on a potential partner’s life. When she looks back at her previous relationships she realises they were fairly shallow but now she is worried she can never have anything more meaningful.
Hank is a close friend of the family and works with Cat’s brother (He is introduced to us in book one). He is a sweet gentleman who works as a carpenter. He has always had a thing for Catalina but after the brush off she gave him last year he is a little more reserved. Cat has her eyes set on a business venture between the two of them and Hank has his heart set on making her his. This is a diverse romance with elements of real life troubles.
Like most of Jamie Beck’s books she likes to give a good dynamic to the story therefore making the characters more complex. Life isn’t perfect and this reflects in her books. I really enjoyed this one 5* out of 5. I look forward to the next journey she's ready to dream up and I will be on board for the ride.
*I received this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anxiously awaited this book 2 and wasn't disappointed. I love Jamie Beck's writing.

The St. James siblings caught my heart in Worth the Wait and I couldn't wait to read Cat and Hank's story. Cat is in a high fashion world and yet there is nothing superficial or fake about her. She is a down to earth, family loving, acceptance seeking woman who was forced to rely on her looks when she didn't have the faith and support of her dad. She is just wanting someone to see the real her, not the pretty face.

Hank has his focus stuck on raising a sister and taking care of a sickly mother, but he can't fight his feelings for Cat. The only thing is he doesn't know if she is playing games with him when she steps away from her glamorous lifestyle.

Hank and Cat have a sweet yet cantankerous story. Cat is one that puts walls up to protect herself but with Hank being a contractor with he erect his own walls to protect himself from Cat's games or will he be the one to knock down Cats's walls.

[Heather andrews · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love when a woman surprises her man especially when the man doesn't think she had it in her, “did I?” And she remembered? That had to mean something. He noticed coleslaw, corn bread, and a cold beer on the table. “Cat, this is really thoughtful. I didn’t know you cooked.” Hank is good man and tries to help his woman out whenever he can, “I loved unpacking your lingerie . Show me what you’re wearing today.” He nuzzled the spot beneath her ear and she felt the corners of his mouth curl in anticipation of her reply." I enjoyed this book, Hank was a good man.

[Christa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this contemporary romance featuring Cat and Hank and thought it was a good addition to the series. It is a second chance at romance sort of story, taking place after Cat had bypassed Hank for another man a couple of years previously. Cat and Hank were good characters. Cat had some serious self esteem issues even though she was a famous model. Hank was a very protective and caring character. I enjoyed their story.

[Melinda Tan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such fun. I just read your interview responses and they helped me relate to your books even more. I do love that they are "escapism". I am hooked immediately by your writing, and the character conflicts are very relatable. I love them. The only reason I gave it a 4 is because I wanted ANY type of mishap in the bedroom...to make my life more normal! Selfish...I know.

[Missy Shipp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just when I thought the second book in the St. James series could not possibly be as good as the first book, I was ecstatic when I started reading it. Great series! I'm looking forward to the next book which doesn't come out until November.

[Linda Morey · Rating 3 out of 5]

It had a few themes -what happens when you age out of modeling -drinking to excess -taking risks by both for new careers . I do think Cat was a little shallow -wanted her own way not thinking about Hank’s obligations . He was great character.

[Elena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Me gusta mucho esta serie. Estoy deseando que publiquen la historia de Jackson

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honestly Cat is just annoying. I had really expected more from her after reading St James 1, and for her story and life to have more depth (after the whole controlling boyfriend issue in the first book).

She created ALL her problems in this book:

Her best friend was seriously hurt because she couldnt see reality and let her controlling boyfriend go until someone did get hurt, I was completely surprised it wasnt her, although if it was she prolly would have let him get away with it, and would have kept getting back together with him over and over again (Because as she kept saying to herself though out the entire book "she deserves assholes").

She used her secret as another excuse not to get close to anyone, didnt give Hank a chance to make up his own mind, took that option away from him right from the start, and had intended to take that option away from anyone in the future. Now no one will ever want her, not only because she only likes assholes and no one real could ever love someone who loves assholes, but because she cant have kids, whine whine whine. Only asses like me, only asses like me, why do only asses like me. BECAUSE you are not a real or fully developed person who wants someone who isnt an ass, and when you finally meet someone who isnt an asshole you not only turn him into one, you also project assholeness onto him!!!!!! UUUggghhh.

Then when the asshole controlling, abusive ex-boyfriend shows back up she still doesnt man up and actually do something real about it, like throw him in jail where he belongs, she just slaps another restraining order on him fantasizing that another year will make him forget about her when the past year hasnt dampened his stalking, controlling abusive nature for one second. I can guarantee she is going to end up dead on the same day the second restraining order is lifted. The only reason I am reading the 3rd book is to find out when, upheaving and interrupting Jacksons story, he is going to kill her and how, lol.

It gets two more stars than it deserves because of Hank.

PS:
Another thing to mention is the sex. In all three of these books sex equates love. David and his girlfriend have sex and Vivi assumes that because they do they love each other and nothing should be wrong with their relationship. David and Vivi have sex in the first book (the same night he hasnt quite broken up with his girlfriend, just sends her home) and she is over the moon because she thinks he finally loves her, but all through out hes been an asshole to her so that should have been obvious. In the second book, it is the same thing, if Cat and Hank have sex it has to be because of love and sex means that there is love between them. I mean take for example: after the first time her and Hank have sex she knows she going to fall for him because it was great sex, she doesnt know anything else about him or his personal life but because they had some great sex she is scared of love? What? You had great sex with your stalker abuser too, that should tell you something. Sex equals Love, Sex IS Love, Love IS Sex is very prominent in these books and frankly quite disturbing.