How to Say No to a Rapist and Survive

by Frederic Storaska

Explains the nature and varieties of rape, the desires and psychology of the rapist or rapists, and methods of avoiding and surviving violent sexual assault

Genres: Self Help

237 pages, Hardcover

First published February 1, 1975

Reviews

[Candace Lynn Talmadge · Rating 5 out of 5]

I reviewed a hardback copy of "How to Say No to a Rapist and Survive" for my college newspaper. Then I insisted that my friends read it. Not much later one of them was raped at knifepoint in her own apartment in New York City. She told me afterward, "I am alive today because I read that book."

It's still on my shelf, more than 30 years later.

This book is polarizing partly because the author dares to question the standard, pathetic personal saftey advice dished out to women by clueless men. Far from treating them as helpless, the author assumes women have brains and can use them to avoid danger or come out of it alive. When it was first published, it was the only book that treated women like adults. I loved it then and still do. I urge women all this time later to read it and heed it, even those who have martial arts training or who know how to use a handgun and carry one.

It's polarzing also because it gives women one piece of advice they desperately need to stop a man cold in his tracks, even if he is far bigger and stronger. Men hate having their vulnerabilities exposed, but women have the right not to be raped and need this information desperately. If more men understood that women would not hesitate to use the advice the author gives them about the testicle squeeze, there might be less rape.

In the film Braveheart, the young William Wallace pleads with his uncle to teach him how to use a sword so he can avenge his father's and older brother's deaths. The uncle taps him on the head and says, "First, use this." Next he points to the sword and adds, "Then, use that." Need I say more? Read this book!

[Ina Ruth · Rating 1 out of 5]

tl;dr This book is trash - find an empowerment self-defense class instead!

This book is insulting at best and harmful at worst. Storaska blames the victims of violence for their own experiences; neglects the most common situations and the most well-understood dynamics of assault; and strikes an odd balance between (1) telling women they aren't strong enough or smart enough to escape rape and (2) telling women there's absolutely no reason they ever "have to get raped." He assumes that it hasn't ever occurred to women to fight back. He also assumes it will deter a rapist if you just make yourself seem gross enough (like pregnant! EEeeeEEEwww!). None of this is correct. Nothing in this book is useful.

There absolutely ARE ways women can escape assault: mental, verbal, physical, you name it! But you won't find any of them in this book. If you're worried about your safety, find an empowerment self-defense class near you. Those teachers are trauma-informed; base their curriculum on research, statistics, and facts(!); and give you a realistic sense of how assault happens and what you can do about it. Do NOT read or trust this book.

[Lydia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ladies, have you tried: defensive vomiting?