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He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe In Himself
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He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe In Himself

4.15  ·  Rating details ·  492 ratings  ·  75 reviews
“Clinical psychologist Price offers one of the most significant books of the year in this new look at an old problem—the underperforming teenage boy… Price’s book brings an important voice to a much needed conversation.” —Library Journal (Starred review)
On the surface, capable teenage boys may look lazy. But dig a little deeper, writes child psychologist Adam Price in He’
Hardcover, 288 pages
Published August 1st 2017 by Sterling (first published May 3rd 2016)
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Average rating 4.15  · 
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 ·  492 ratings  ·  75 reviews

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Jenny Taylor
Oct 29, 2017 rated it liked it
Good advice about taking a step back and giving your son room to fail as a means of growing toward independence. My favorite piece of advice:

Don't drown him in reminders and requests. Instead, make him tired of hearing you ask, "What is your plan?"

And the follow-up to the inevitable answer of "I don't know":

"You will probably like the plan I come up with a lot less than one you come up with, so give it some thought."
This book really opened my eyes to some parenting fails that I need to change. I’m not exactly a helicopter parent but I’m close. Okay. I might be a helicopter parent. It has given me some strategies to employ when dealing with my kids, and ways to give them more independence in their lives.
I have some work to do on myself!
Feb 02, 2018 rated it really liked it
Everyone who deals with teen boys needs to read this. Everyone.
Lisa Smith
May 28, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction, owen
This is the first and only parenting book that was even slightly familiar with what we deal with daily. I plan to go back through and highlight what resonated so I can find it quickly when I need to.

That said, this book is focused on boys who opt-out of school. Ours opts out of pretty much everything. Getting him to college isn’t really on our radar. Our goal is to get him to interact with life and the world at large. I wished there was help for these boys in the book.

It was also painfully appar
Aug 17, 2017 rated it it was ok
Shelves: parenting, nonfic
This was a perfectly fine book but I don't think you need to read it. It's written for a VERY SPECIFIC audience and I don't know anyone in it.

It's written for middle/upper class parents who have somehow managed to find themselves with nearly no idea how adolescent development works. They are either raising their first teenager or their earlier ones were angels. They also never spent much time with teenagers.

Also, and importantly, they have some kind of issues where they are super immersed in t
Dec 31, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: my-boys
seriously - that good. This book is written for a very specific type of boy - and I happen to have one of those boys. I don't agree with everything the author said, but I listened and am now armed with additional knowledge and ways to help/cope/work with each of them as they grow.
Leslie Brewer
Jun 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I am so thankful I found this book. It has changed the way I see and love my son. Many of my friends have children who excel at both sports and school. I thought that was the goal. I compared him with what I thought he should be, instead of loving him for who he is now. I am sure my 12 year old will be very happy now that I will no longer be a walking self-help book giving him advise at every turn, and letting him learn his life-lessons from living his own life.
Nov 30, 2017 rated it really liked it
I have an opt-out kid, but found myself seeing a lot of both my teenage boys in this book. Asking about "the plan" has opened up lines of communication for us. Overall, it was a funny book with a lot of "hmmmm, that sounds mighty familiar" to it.
Dec 29, 2017 rated it really liked it
Wish I’d read this 10 years ago. Lots of good insight for communicating with teenagers.
Ezi-Chi Reads Alot
Parents of tweens and young adult men should read this book. It will give you some realistic tools to deal with attitudes and actions that baffle is parents. It really also helped me to calm down as I realized that my sons are actually normal. I may be interpreting certain actions incorrectly as well as taking things personally when they don’t have anything to do with me as a parent.
After reading the book, I took a deep breath and said to myself “we will be okay”.
Way-Way Pee
Feb 24, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was a great eye-opening book for me and such a relief to find a clear way to explain exactly how I feel. I enjoyed the audio version but also purchased the ebook so I can highlight it on my phone and a hard-copy in hopes that I can sneak it into my husband's TBRs.
Aug 28, 2017 rated it really liked it
I read this book because it was marketed to focus on raising boys with the ADHD however, it essentially applies to every male. Maybe we all have ADHD and do not know it.
Scaffolding is the best concept to explain the parenting advice. Offer guidance and support but you have to let your son do the building himself. There also needs to be a reevaluation of what type of building do you want. I think most of the advice is sane.
I'm not sold on the later school idea. I'm at work every day by 8 and my
Jan 07, 2019 rated it it was ok
Shelves: psychology
Do you have a teenage boy who struggles in school? Or do you have a younger son who you can imagine struggling in school as he gets older? He may be an otherwise capable young man but seems apathetic and unmotivated, to the point you think he’s not excelling simply because he’s lazy. Adam Prices says that’s the wrong conclusion to draw and one that leads to the wrong parenting approach to addressing it. Dr. Price argues that the real reason many young men are unmotivated is not that they don’t c ...more
Marci-Beth Maple
May 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
When parenting a teen, you often feel like you are completely out of your depth. This book was immediately relatable and not only guides you in seeing that your child is all right, but that you are too! Full of easy-to-understand explanations of scientific and developmental information that is absolutely necessary to understand, the second half of the book offers some really practical ideas and applications. A great read, and one I will recommend to friends, teachers and others who work with tee ...more
Sep 10, 2017 rated it really liked it
The topic of this book is very real. The demands on a teenager today are more intense than when we were teenagers, mostly in the academic sense. This book gave me some great perspectives of how to view this from my teenage son's perspective, and also how I can be the most loving and supportive parent to him and our daughter during these years. Highly recommended if you have a teenage son - if you don't, you won't find much of interest or application here.
Mar 26, 2018 rated it liked it
These types of parenting books are often hard to get into and hard to finish, but this one was necessary and helpful to me for one of my children at this particular time of my life. It offers sage advice on how to shift your thinking about your child and follows up with some very common sense, practical tips on how to move forward.
Gail Tolbert
Sep 16, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I absolutely loved this book. It’s the first one I’ve read in the area of understanding teenage boys that really spoke to me and made sense of this sometimes difficult season for families. In addition I came away feeling as if I had some useful tools that I could put to use immediately.
Dawn Liebherr
Mar 31, 2018 rated it really liked it
Really interesting read! I recommend it to parents of teen boys.
Jhon Thula
Mar 09, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Excellent book for any parent of a boy... the book is geared towards boys only so if you have a pre-teen girl this book is not for you.

Very well written, concepts explained well and fully documented. Probably one of the best "parenting" books I've read
Lise Fleuette
Jun 18, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
This book changed my life by changing the way I view my son. It has helped our relationship tremendously. I cried several times in relief and understanding as I listened to the audiobook version. The wisdom in these pages is helping my husband and I be better guides for our son as he enters young adulthood. Thank you so much Dr Price!
Wade Wiegel
Jun 12, 2019 rated it really liked it
Good insight into the adolescent mind of a boy and the challenges boys are uniquely facing in today's electronic driven (social media, video games, etc.) culture.
Janeen Kime
Feb 24, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Loved this book! Highly recommend for any parent of boys or even anyone who works with boys in a leadership capacity! It helped explain some behaviors in an easy way and gave clear answers to how to help our boys succeed!!!
Jenni Morgan
Feb 13, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I wish I would have read this book when my son was in 5th or 6th grade. Dr. Price is spot on. I felt like he was reading mind and that he for sure had met my son. Haha! The information is relevant, valuable, and needed. I am thankful for what I have learned, and I am pleased with the results of the practices we have already put in place. I now have access to a toolbox I did not even know I needed. Know better do better.
Suzanne Strack
Sep 20, 2017 rated it liked it
I find it hard to rate this book, because I was specifically looking for something when I started reading it, and didn't get that result. Does that make it a "bad book?" No, it just wasn't dead-on for me. Specifically, it put some of the blame on teen-age boys opting out on the parents, and discusses "helicopter parenting." I would completely agree that is the case some of the time. If you do everything for your child, and don't let him fail, he will stop doing anything, because 1. he doesn't ha ...more
Feb 10, 2020 rated it really liked it
Chapter 11 for strategies to use at work
Joseph Roach
Feb 10, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: family
Need to re read this book I’m a few years as my boys approach the teens. Good content
Apr 07, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting
Good book approaching a topic that I don't think you see enough of - teenagers (really, with or without ADHD) who are smart but struggle in school.

The book is a little long and I think some of the sections could be condensed, but I appreciated the insight into brain biology.

Another reviewer said that the book is for a very specific audience of parents. I don't disagree with this, but unlike that reviewer I feel as though I could get some things out of it even if I'm not guilty of the overparent
Sep 08, 2018 rated it it was ok
The parts about child development are good but this book isn’t very helpful. He has no actual plans in this book that would ever actually work with a lazy teenage boy. He seems to think what they need is more work they’ll never do to figure out why they’re not doing work. He contradicts almost everything he says in the book and he wastes tons of pages assuming you’re some kind of helicopter parent. Also skip chapters 4 and 5 where he is just a blatant sexist. He talks about how women don’t have ...more
Apr 04, 2019 rated it really liked it
I think this book is useful for parents who are unable to see the world from their son’s perspective. The main point I took from it is to stop demanding your son be someone he’s not. To do this, you must take the time to step away from everything you think you know about him. For the average person, who is mired in thoughts of self, this can be hard. A simple example is the mother who is subconsciously worried about their son’s grades because it will make her look like a bad parent. Or the dad w ...more
Cari Borchert
May 16, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting
Ironic? Fitting? Writing this review after my son's 8th grade graduation. Within the first few chapters I recognized my son in the author's description as a kid who is not lazy but afraid of failure. The author mostly referred to teenage boys in the school setting, where, in general my kid has that figured out. But, as the author explains, he has control, confidence, competency, and a connection to his school work, and therefore does well. When it comes to work at home and those "C's" are missin ...more
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