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He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe In Himself
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He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe In Himself

4.02  ·  Rating details ·  145 ratings  ·  28 reviews
“Clinical psychologist Price offers one of the most significant books of the year in this new look at an old problem—the underperforming teenage boy… Price’s book brings an important voice to a much needed conversation.” —Library Journal (Starred review)
On the surface, capable teenage boys may look lazy. But dig a little deeper, writes child psychologist Adam Price in He’
Hardcover, 288 pages
Published August 1st 2017 by Sterling (first published May 3rd 2016)
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Jenny Taylor
Oct 29, 2017 rated it liked it
Good advice about taking a step back and giving your son room to fail as a means of growing toward independence. My favorite piece of advice:

Don't drown him in reminders and requests. Instead, make him tired of hearing you ask, "What is your plan?"

And the follow-up to the inevitable answer of "I don't know":

"You will probably like the plan I come up with a lot less than one you come up with, so give it some thought."
Aug 17, 2017 rated it it was ok
Shelves: nonfic, parenting
This was a perfectly fine book but I don't think you need to read it. It's written for a VERY SPECIFIC audience and I don't know anyone in it.

It's written for middle/upper class parents who have somehow managed to find themselves with nearly no idea how adolescent development works. They are either raising their first teenager or their earlier ones were angels. They also never spent much time with teenagers.

Also, and importantly, they have some kind of issues where they are super immersed in t
Aug 28, 2017 rated it really liked it
I read this book because it was marketed to focus on raising boys with the ADHD however, it essentially applies to every male. Maybe we all have ADHD and do not know it.
Scaffolding is the best concept to explain the parenting advice. Offer guidance and support but you have to let your son do the building himself. There also needs to be a reevaluation of what type of building do you want. I think most of the advice is sane.
I'm not sold on the later school idea. I'm at work every day by 8 and my
Dawn Liebherr
Mar 31, 2018 rated it really liked it
Really interesting read! I recommend it to parents of teen boys.
Mar 26, 2018 rated it liked it
These types of parenting books are often hard to get into and hard to finish, but this one was necessary and helpful to me for one of my children at this particular time of my life. It offers sage advice on how to shift your thinking about your child and follows up with some very common sense, practical tips on how to move forward.
Marci-Beth Maple
May 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
When parenting a teen, you often feel like you are completely out of your depth. This book was immediately relatable and not only guides you in seeing that your child is all right, but that you are too! Full of easy-to-understand explanations of scientific and developmental information that is absolutely necessary to understand, the second half of the book offers some really practical ideas and applications. A great read, and one I will recommend to friends, teachers and others who work with tee ...more
Sep 10, 2017 rated it really liked it
The topic of this book is very real. The demands on a teenager today are more intense than when we were teenagers, mostly in the academic sense. This book gave me some great perspectives of how to view this from my teenage son's perspective, and also how I can be the most loving and supportive parent to him and our daughter during these years. Highly recommended if you have a teenage son - if you don't, you won't find much of interest or application here.
Nov 30, 2017 rated it really liked it
I have an opt-out kid, but found myself seeing a lot of both my teenage boys in this book. Asking about "the plan" has opened up lines of communication for us. Overall, it was a funny book with a lot of "hmmmm, that sounds mighty familiar" to it.
Feb 02, 2018 rated it really liked it
Everyone who deals with teen boys needs to read this. Everyone.
Dec 29, 2017 rated it really liked it
Wish I’d read this 10 years ago. Lots of good insight for communicating with teenagers.
Sep 08, 2018 rated it it was ok
The parts about child development are good but this book isn’t very helpful. He has no actual plans in this book that would ever actually work with a lazy teenage boy. He seems to think what they need is more work they’ll never do to figure out why they’re not doing work. He contradicts almost everything he says in the book and he wastes tons of pages assuming you’re some kind of helicopter parent. Also skip chapters 4 and 5 where he is just a blatant sexist. He talks about how women don’t have ...more
Apr 07, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting
Good book approaching a topic that I don't think you see enough of - teenagers (really, with or without ADHD) who are smart but struggle in school.

The book is a little long and I think some of the sections could be condensed, but I appreciated the insight into brain biology.

Another reviewer said that the book is for a very specific audience of parents. I don't disagree with this, but unlike that reviewer I feel as though I could get some things out of it even if I'm not guilty of the overparent
Mar 25, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I recognized my son sometimes

This book sometimes feels as if it is written about my so and sometimes seems completely off base. I would like to try some of these exercises with my son but he would shut down so completely and I worry I could do more harm than good to our relationship.
Sep 09, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: giveaways
I received a copy of this book through a Goodreads giveaway. I found the subject matter very interesting and many of the exercises are helpful in opening up conversation with teens. This book focuses on teenage boys but I think parents of girls, especially those with ADHD would find this book very helpful. The author is very knowledgeable and the book was well written.
Dec 02, 2017 rated it really liked it
This was really a great resource filled with brain research about how the adolescent brain works and how it's very different from the adult brain. It gave lots of scientifically based reasons why your child may choose to "opt-out" rather than always do his best. The tips were helpful, but not life-altering if you've been raising a headstrong child since birth. ;-)
Voni Kinderknecht
Nov 16, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book is perfect for any parent of a teenage boy. I love the goal setting sheets found in back. It teaches you how to get really good at listening and how to better communicate. I’m currently using the ideas and our relationship is improving immensely.
May 19, 2017 rated it really liked it
I received a copy of this book from a Goodreads giveaway. I found this book really interesting. It goes into many of the differences between boys and girls and how that can relate to learning. It also talks about what parents can do to help motivate their sons and help them to succeed.
Gail Tolbert
Sep 16, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I absolutely loved this book. It’s the first one I’ve read in the area of understanding teenage boys that really spoke to me and made sense of this sometimes difficult season for families. In addition I came away feeling as if I had some useful tools that I could put to use immediately.
Aug 26, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I love to read parenting books, but I don't usually review them. This book is the exception. Very highly reviewed, it's extremely accessible and well written. I think it's an important read for all people working with adolescent boys.
Annemargaret Olsson
Feb 24, 2018 rated it really liked it
I had an entire review here and when I tried to add a quick edit - the system deleted everything!! I had originally rated this book with three stars, but felt that I had to come back and raise it up to four stars. I keep thinking back to what I learned from this book - how it truly changed my view of my daughter and were she is with her growth and learning journey. What I REALLY liked about this book was that it referenced a LARGE number of books - many of which I have on my bookshelf and have n ...more
Anne Warren
Mar 22, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Every boy needs more compassion

The questions of parents throughout & appendix of worksheets / tools are worth the read.
I took this with a broader view than academics - more about how we reinforce autonomy in life & children’s self esteem.
Amy Decker-haas
Apr 10, 2018 rated it liked it
Excellent reminders of how teenage & male brains operate. Some good advice on ways to let go and have your son take more charge of his "destiny". Provides good tools/charts/lists to help you identify what will be most helpful.
Nov 06, 2017 rated it it was ok
I had high hopes for this book. The examples and descriptions of situations and boys sounded familiar. But the answers and solutions seemed basic no-brainers of parenting. Or there was all the blaming parents towards the end. I found nothing really useful in this book.
May 15, 2018 rated it really liked it
Good book for parents of teen boys...especially ones that are not super motivated. I did feel like it was sort of narrow in its scope, as it mostly talked about how "opt out" kids relate to school, instead of in a broader scope of life.
Ryan S. Matheson
Must read

Must read for any parent with boys. This book came at a perfect time when my wife and I felt we had tried everything possible to motivate our son and help him succeed...I now feel hope.
Jul 10, 2018 rated it really liked it
Couple of dated assumptions about gender, but a great reminder to lay off with the hovering.
Suzanne Strack
Sep 20, 2017 rated it liked it
I find it hard to rate this book, because I was specifically looking for something when I started reading it, and didn't get that result. Does that make it a "bad book?" No, it just wasn't dead-on for me. Specifically, it put some of the blame on teen-age boys opting out on the parents, and discusses "helicopter parenting." I would completely agree that is the case some of the time. If you do everything for your child, and don't let him fail, he will stop doing anything, because 1. he doesn't ha ...more
Apr 20, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: won-on-goodreads
I have two sons (currently 12 and 10), and I can see myself returning to He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe In Himself a lot over the next few years. The premise of the book is that teenage boys chose to opt out, not because they are lazy, but because of a fear of failure. In addition, the author discusses how the teenage male mind works. There are tons of tips for parents (and for boys, as well). I've been putting some of these tips into action already, and so far, I've been pleased ...more
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Nov 26, 2018
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“DO NOT TAKE ANY OF THIS PERSONALLY. Although it may seem like it, he is not taking you for granted, rejecting you, or even hating you. He is just trying to separate. Taking things personally will lead you to feel angry, frustrated, hurt, and even guilty. It’s these feelings that destroy your equilibrium, not your son.” 0 likes
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