Paint My Body Red

by Heidi R. Kling

Sometimes you have to lose everything to find where you truly belong.

Eighteen-year-old Paige Mason’s problems aren’t ordinary. Not anymore.

After the cluster of suicides at her Silicon Valley high school, everything changed. All her bright plans of attending a fancy private college, finding a solid group of girlfriends, falling in love...everything faded to ashes.

In order to feel something in the face of numb, dulling pain, she made bad choices. Dangerous choices. And now that she's been shipped back to her sick father’s dilapidated Wyoming ranch, Paige has a choice. Piece together the jagged edges of her past, or give up a potentially incredible future with Jake, the cowboy she can’t stay away from no matter how hard she tries...

Genres: Contemporary, Young Adult, Romance, Mental Illness, Contemporary Romance, Realistic Fiction, Ebooks

350 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 2, 2015

About the author

Heidi R. Kling writes books about normal girls in fantastic situations.

Her debut novel SEA (Penguin/Putnam) was a finalist for Northern California Book of the Year," an IndieNext Summer Pick, Goodreads “Mover and Shaker," Scholastic Reading Pick, and Gateway Reader’s Award Finalist among other generous accolades. SEA, which launched June, 2010, is a bittersweet love story set in the aftermath of the devastating 2004 Indonesian tsunami, and is set to relaunch with Entangled Teen December 4 as WHERE I FOUND YOU (Sea series #1) with its sequel WHERE THE SEA TAKES ME out April, 2018!


After earning her MFA in Writing for Children from the New School in New York, Heidi returned to the Bay Area where she lives with her family in a tiny seaside village like the towns in her books.

She's also the author of the acclaimed PAINT MY BODY RED (for fans of Speak and 13 Reasons Why), bestselling romantic comedy NOT OKAY, CUPID and the Spellspinners of Melas County series about feuding witches and warlocks.

Please visit her on twitter (Heidi R. Kling) where she loves to live-tweet TV shows, overuse gifs and chat with her readers about books, love and travel. She's very fortunate to write stories for a living and is grateful to you for reading them!
http://heidirkling.com

Reviews

[Hristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Update (July 8th 2017):
It took three trips to the post office: one civil talk with a lady who works there, one conversation that was on the verge of an argument with her younger colleague, and lastly talking to the controller at seven in the morning, to finally get this book.



Since I opened the package containing it, I haven't been able to put it down, the cover's mesmerizing, it keeps inviting me to stare at it.

This was the second time I read this book, and experiencing it again was somehow better than the first time around. I realized that I'm not too keen on the ending No, I didn't expect Paige's dad to survive, I really wanted things between her and Jake (which had a lovely build up) to have a bigger climax, but it felt like a balloon slowly deflating, rather than popping, and no, the epilogue didn't do it for me. But I'm gonna push that all aside because all the other parts of this story are just perfectly done. It made me angry at Ty, it made me giddy with excitement, it brought me to tears a few times, it made me finally turn the laptop on to write a review about something (it was overdue). I love the mysterious part of the story, I think the way Mrs. Kling incorporated the past is amazing (cause I actually read it, and I find those parts dull and uninteresting in many novels), but my favorite part would have to be the dynamic between Jake and Paige. What can I say, I'm a sucker for romance.

I'm definitely gonna read this one again (especially since I own a physical copy, something I can't believe I foreshadowed in 2015).


Original review (October 23rd 2015):

Copy received through NetGalley

Review on my blog illbefinealonereads

Confession. While Goodreads will tell you that it took me three days to read this book, I actually didn’t start it until yesterday. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m in bit of a reading slump. Maybe I expect a completely different book after reading the summary. Actually, the second one is completely true.

But once I started reading it, I was drawn to continue by the mystery it carries throughout. Mrs. Heidi R. Kling writes with an incredible style that turned this dark story into the most positive and hopeful book you’ll read this year.

The message you’ll find within is what kept me up till 2 am, rushing to finish it, not just because of a deadline I had set up for myself, but also because of the urge to find out what happens to Paige, what will happen to the ranch, what’s the next wonderful thing Jake will do.

Read it. You won’t regret it. Recommended by yours truly.

P.S. This book is also going on my physical copy wish-list. And that is the ultimate compliment I can give any book. I love it so much, that I need a copy to own.

[Claire (Book Blog Bird) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This review was originally published on Book Blog Bird

Paint My Body Red is the story of Paige, a high school senior who is sent to her ill father’s ranch in Wyoming for the summer from her home in California so that she can escape the aftermath of a spate of suicides that rocked her school. One by one, fellow classmates were killing themselves and Paige’s mother fears that she will be next.

Firstly, I think the author deserves a big round of applause for tackling such a sensitive subject with tact and grace. Suicide is, naturally, a very emotive subject and I think it took a lot of bravery to write this story. Interestingly, I found that the romance side of the story (and it’s very romantic!) didn’t detract from, or lessen the impact of the tragedies or the mystery that surrounded them.

I think the reason for this is the way the story was told; it switched between Paige’s current life on the ranch, and the months leading up to her being sent there. At the beginning of the book, Paige is this emaciated, nervy thing suffering psychologically and physically from the tragedy that hit her school and as the story on the ranch progresses she gets healthier and happier. Conversely, as the story of the suicides and her home life unfold in the flashbacks, everything gets worse and worse. It got to the point where I was looking forward to the Now chapters (on the ranch) and kind of dreading the Then chapters (back in California), looking through the gaps in my fingers and thinking, ‘Oh GOD, what’s going to happen now??’ Everything, her school life and her home life, basically turns to toxic waste.

Speaking of toxic, Paige makes some pretty awful decisions, romance-wise. The horrible, toxic, emotionally-barren relationship with her stepbrother (I know!) made my skin crawl, but at no point did I put the book down and think, ‘Nuh-uh. That wouldn’t happen.’ The author did a really good job of showing how grief-and-guilt-stricken Paige was around this time, so while the relationship was really skeevey, it always felt believeable.

Again, this acts as a really good counterpoint to the events in Wyoming and Paige’s blossoming friendship with Jake, a cowboy on her dad’s ranch. He was so lovely and kind to Paige and really helped her find her way again. Which reminds me: I have some rapidly-forming plans to go out to Wyoming (a place that until I googled it earlier today, I could not have placed accurately on a map) and find myself a nice cowboy!

The ending of the book was wrapped up well. I’m a bit of a sucker for a neatly-tied-up HEA, and this book certainly delivered on this front.

All in all, I thought Paint My Body Red was a pretty good read and definitely worth checking out for those long cosy evenings now the nights are starting to draw in.

I was sent a copy of Paint My Body Red in exchange for an honest review. Many thanks to Entangled Teen!

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

This was such an incredibly moving book; by the end of it, I was in tears. There were a lot of difficult topics at play in this book, and I thought they were all handled extremely well by the author.

“What made the difference between choosing to die and deciding to live?
Was it the weight of sadness that buckled them over and dragged them away from all sane, rational thoughts with an anchor of hopelessness so intense they just gave up fighting?”

The main issue in this book was teen suicide. Throughout the book, we learnt more about why Paige was so deeply affected by not only these suicides, but many other serious incidents. I don’t want to give parts of the story away, so I won’t say what some of these other topics are, but I felt that they all fit into the story really well. They were handled with grace, but weren’t sugarcoated. Everything was raw and real and in your face. I think this book has the ability to create a lot of discussions about all these really serious issues that many young people face.

When we first began to learn about how the suicides at Paige’s school started, it hit quite close to home. The first student to die was described as happy, popular kid, who seemed to have everything going for him. At my school last year, a boy just like that committed suicide. I didn’t know him, but no one could believe it; he had apparently been such a happy person who always had a smile on his face. So yeah, I think the message that the book is telling is incredibly important; you can’t know what people are feeling behind the wall they put up, the face they show the world.

I think what stopped me from giving this book five stars was that I had mixed feelings about the main character, Paige. I understand that she was dealing with a lot, but I did find her a little annoying at times. Generally, it was to do with her commentary on Jake – the oh-so-gorgeous cowboy. There was a bit of insta-love going on, which I am not a fan of, so that was probably why she frustrated me. As it got further into the book, I came to understand her a bit more, and I was a little less judgemental. If I were to read it again, I would probably be a bit more understanding, and enjoy the beginning of the book more.

I absolutely adored the last section of the book, as we found how exactly what had happened before Paige went to the ranch. I also loved how Paige had grown after her time at the ranch, and how her life was looking a little more hopeful. There was so much emotion in those last few chapters, and it was such a great ending to the story.

“Most importantly we live. We live like crazy”

Overall, I think this was an amazing story that handles tough topics with a lot of grace. I wasn’t too sure how much I would enjoy it based on the description, but I’m really glad I gave it a chance. I would strongly recommend it to people who enjoyed Laurie Halse Anderson’s Speak, as it has a very similar tone.

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 'meaningful' stars from me

ARC kindly provided via NetGalley in exchange of an honest review

Something strange is happening in Paige's hometown, one by one teenagers suicide stepping in front of a train.
For that reason Paige's mother is sending her to her dad's ranch in order to prevent another suicide, fearing her daughter will be the next one to attempt it. There Paige will introduce us in a whole new world and she will introduce us Jake the hot and sexy cowboy.

What unexpected and unique story, it captivated me from the first page. The author did a great job she created a strongly and skillfully constructed story based in real facts, where the subject is highly sensitive (teenagers suicide).
I also like the narration referring to the past explaining the facts and of course about the present, this alternation was a fine touch in the story.
The book has interesting characters, Paige's thoughts keeps you in alert wondering (What's going on? What is she hiding??),Ty is really strange character i tried to understand his personality and his choices but it was a little bit difficult.
I must say i fall that i loved Jake's character as the introduction says he is 'full-fledged, hot-as-hell cowboy', i was totally fall in love with him. Such a lovely character! I can't a lot about the story i don't wanna spoil it's way better if read it and learn whats really happening, the only things that i can say its that the story is really suspenseful with some twists a lot of intensity and mystery.
At last i have to say that the author is passing a really good meaning with the her choice of story about teenagers committing suicides, it is
really worth reading it.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

First posted at Words Fueled by Love.

Well, this was an unexpected emotional story! I had so many feels while reading it - in less than 3 days. Most of those feels were heart tugging, teary-eye-filled emotions. There was also heart warming moments, and smiles too. I absolutely loved the setting of this story in Wyoming on a horse ranch. I loved that the main character is unplugged - no electronics, no social media, no cell phones, just God's country and creations. It's a beautiful book setting.

This story follows 18 year old Paige. Living in San Francisco, in a wealthy community, with kids who are all aspiring to great things following in the footsteps of their Fortune 500 families. But the emotional scars that most don't see is the pressure put on these kids to lead perfect lives, in their perfect families. The pressure leads many to take their own life. In one high school, the number of those is very high and Paige is sent to live with her Dad on his ranch in Wyoming the summer after she graduates. Her Mom is afraid for her, afraid that her depression over the deaths that have surrounded her will lead her to make the same tragic decision as some of her classmates.

While on this ranch Paige finds healing for her own soul in ways she wasn't expecting. Horses, cowboys, and simple living. The story goes back and forth from events "then" and events "now", as Paige writes in a journal to finally get off of her chest everything that led to where she is in the present. This is one of the avenues that bring about healing to her.

This book deals with some tough subjects - depression and suicide among the top two. It's very deep. It's very touching. And yet, I found it very therapeutic. I'm just speechless mostly. This was a new-to-me-author, but I loved the writing so much, I would definitely read from her again.

The only reason I didn't rate this 5 stars is because there was one moment about 75% in the book where there was an issue in incorrect details. I HATED to come across it because I knew it bugged me too much, which would affect my overall rating. Paige and Jake are out celebrating and she is described as wearing a "swirly white skirt and lace-up sandals". Further in the same scene a few pages later Paige mentions her jeans and her boots...but she's not wearing that. I have to be vague on purpose because there's too much going on with this scene that would ruin some juicy tidbits.

Contemporary Romance fans NEED to read this!

Favorite Quotes:
"You don't have to be chasing something in order to be happy."

"Sometimes you got to do stuff that scares you, Paige. That's how you know you're alive."

But he should know by now that life isn't black and white - it's red. And in that color is where we spend the whole of what matters, the vibrancy of life, the bloody mess of death, and the pulsing heart of love.

We cannot control the wind, but we can adjust our sails.

Language Rating: 2 (medium)
Mature Content Rating: 2 (medium)
Final Rating: 4.5 stars!

[Kristine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Original review can be found at http://kristineandterri.blogspot.ca/2...

** I received an advanced readers copy from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!**

This book is both dark and uplifting at the same time. Told in the now and then the reader follows Paige as she tries to find her way through a very traumatic and difficult time.

The story is told in the "now" which is obviously after something serious happened and Paige is trying to recover and move on from it. As the reader you don't know exactly what happened until it starts going back to the "then".Little bits are revealed throughout the story. I have to admit that I was really drawn to the "then" part of the story which also happened to be the darker side of the story. Don't get me wrong, the "now" was also good but in a more wholesome way.

I can really see young people liking this book and the characters in it. Although Paige was a bit of a mess I can see people liking her and relating to her. I know readers will love Jake and the budding relationship between the two of them. The family connection and Paige's relationship with her dad was also extremely moving.

I found myself getting a little emotional at different points in this story which surprised me. I wasn't expecting that and it spoke volumes. Obviously I was invested in the story if it moved me. At times it felt like two different stories altogether but somehow it came together in a very entertaining way. I really enjoyed it.

[♡ Jeri's Book Attic ♡ Jeri the Romance Bibiliophile ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

[Carlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

You can find more of this review on my blog, Carlene Inspired.

Paige has agreed to spend the summer after high school at her dad's ranch in Wyoming, not so much because she wants to, but because she needs to get away. A string of suicides at her school have left her raw and disconnected. The smartest, most athletic, and popular kids are gone and her mom doesn't want her to be next. After years away from the ranch, Paige is surprised to see it bad condition, not realizing that her dad is incredibly ill. She also meets Jake, a handsome cowboy, who opens her eyes to a world she thought she'd left behind. As summer goes by, Paige finds herself again and processes the events from the school year prior.

I can't explain what this book did to me completely, but I can say this, it will leave you reeling. Heidi R. Kling writes about a very sensitive subject with tact, bravery (it's based on true events), and obvious experience. With a lot of grace, Kling writes about the suicides, the friends in pain, the worried family members, and Paige's processing of it all. Told in a past and present format, Paige's life in Wyoming continues moving forward, helping her grow mentally, and allowing herself to go back and write about what happened, the events, her feelings, what she wished she had done and how much it affected her. Without speaking about it anyone else, she processes it all alone.

The writing is beautiful, the "then" parts were raw and filled with heavy emotion, while the "now" Paige was slowly loosening up and finding her way. I liked Paige, a lot. While she may seem like the stuck up girl, as you get to know her, you find she's as lost as everyone else. You can feel her pain, as well as feel the worries the other characters have for her. As she deals with loss of classmates, she has to find a way to accept what her method of coping used to be. How she can forgive her parents, her stepbrother, and even herself. On top of that, her father's illness is a hard one, one that brings a whole new story line to the book. Heidi R. Kling not only wrote about suicide sensitively, but also long-term diseases and how that affects those in their life. There is also romance, something Kling wove into this story so smoothly you might not see it coming. It's the kind of romance that's a slow burn, that doesn't take over the story, and allows the reader to join the character in the journey. I saw strength in Paige and I really appreciated that the minor characters in this book, including her dad, his caretaker, and the cowboy, Jake, saw it in her too. The Wyoming Paige is like a different person, a different book, and yet it all comes together so well.

While Paint My Body Red is about a topic that's hard to imagine, experience, and talk about, the book itself is so easy to get into. With relatable characters, raw truth, and a lesson in acceptance, this book is one that I am happy to say I read and loved. I think it's a book that should be read, by everyone, and could easily be used to work with youth struggling through similar situations. I think it opens up a valuable discussion on self worth, honesty, and moving forward in life. This book may hurt to read, the sensitive subject may be too much for some, but I am grateful that Heidi R. Kling took the time to write something so meaningful and with such grace.

Many thanks to Netgalley and Entangled Teen for providing an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Ideally.Portia · Rating 4 out of 5]

UPDATE!! THIS IS AVAILABLE TODAY!!

**I received this book from the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review**

At my death paint my body with red paint and plunge it into fresh water to be restored back to life, otherwise my bones will be turned into stone and my joints into flint in my grave, but my spirit will rise. ―Crazy Horse

Honestly, I did not expect to love this book and enjoy it as much as I did. When it came up for review, I read the synopsis, thought it sounded interesting, so I went for it. I did not expect to become so invested in it, or to let it force me to feel so much.

What do you do when people all around you, your peers, are dying? By suicide? You start to wonder if maybe something is in the water. Then you seek out ways to help you cope and to feel something other than shock and sadness. In this case, Paige's search for something to distract her only lead to more trouble. So she is forced to go spend the summer between high school and college with her father, who lives on an amazing ranch and whom she hasn't seen in years.

How hard, how almost impossible it is to cling to the beautiful moments that keep us alive? Keep us fighting through those dark times when those moments are few and far between?

At the ranch, Paige becomes a new person. She finds herself, she finds happiness and love, while also being forced to face other forms of loss that she never expected. I absolutely fell in love right alongside her, and I also felt the pain and loss with her. I cried like 3 times during this book, I guess I'm feeling extra emotional these days. I don't even like horses! (that seems like a crazy thing to say, but its not. oh and no animals were harmed in the creation of this story.) In the end, Paige comes out stronger and braver than she ever was before.

What I did not know was that this was inspired by actual events, but one the author mentioned it, I remembered it in the news. In Palo Alto, in 2009, there was a cluster of teen suicides in a similar fashion as the book. The author tried to make some kind of sense out of it and wanted to protect her own children from the "contagious" suicides, so she created Paige and her story as an outlet. Originally, I though maybe something paranormal would be tied to it, but this story was much more meaningful than I could have expected.

This is a great contemporary novel that deals with SO MANY things, not just suicide. I definitely recommend this one!

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful, sensitive writing about difficult subject matter. I've read tons of books in which teen suicide and healing from the suicide of a friend or a loved one is a major theme, so I can say with some authority that Heidi Kling does a great job presenting it. It's a love story and a mystery rolled up in one, it's about coming to terms with what has happened, and finding a way to have a positive effect in the world from a negative experience. But at the same time, it's unlike any of the "suicide" books I've ever read. I loved this book, and found myself staying up late, night after night, to finish it. I don't want to give anything away, except that you've got to read this book.

[Moriah Chavis · Rating 5 out of 5]

*This review is also on A Leisure Moment (Paint My Body Red Book Review)*

**I received an e-copy of this book via NetGalley from Entangled Teen in exchange for an honest review**

I’ve had this book on my TBR pile since I read Heidi R. Kling’s Not Okay, Cupid. Let me warn you, Paint My Body Red is nothing like that book. Cupid is lighter and focused around the romance between Hazel and Felix. Paint has a guy and a girl, but instead of one story, you get two.

Paige Mason was surrounded by death. When suicide became an epidemic in an affluent California town, her mother shipped her off to Wyoming to live with her father for the summer. That was story number one, the now. Paige’s dad had been diagnosed with ALS a few years prior, but the only contact that she had with him was through email. When she gets to Wyoming, she’s shocked at how much the disease has affected him. The story with her dad played as an undercurrent to her healing from the events that happened in California. She had to see him as a new man, not the man that went to the bottle when everything went wrong or whenever he so desired. Instead, he was only the guy that her younger self remembered the best: the one with catchy sayings and a big heart. He didn’t play as large a role as some of the characters, but he helped her heal and become a new Paige.

Also part of her now was Jake. I found it impossible not to fall for Jake. Even if you don’t love cowboys, you’ll love him. He had all the charms of a southern gentleman and the honesty of Veritaserum. In the midst of Paige’s darkness, he was the light that broke through and made her feel alive again. I loved every scene with Jake and couldn’t wait to see how their story would end.

Paige’s then followed her to Wyoming. In California, where trains were taking the lives of teens that appeared to have promise and hope for their future, she also had Ty, her stepbrother. Their relationship had draw. But if you’re expecting the type of relationship like in Estelle Maskame’s DIMLY trilogy, this was not it. This was dark and mysterious in the midst of the brightness happening in her now. I’ll admit, I didn’t think I would feel anything but disgust with Ty’s character, but call me shocked. I felt sorry for him. I pitied him. Kling did so well with his character, bending and shaping him so that it’s impossible to feel only disgust toward him once you get to know him.

Overall, I’m so glad that I read this book. It’s not one story but two, and each chapter of the then left me wanting for more. You have to read the whole thing out a pure curiosity about how Paige’s then affected her now. Paint My Body Red is full of hope and sadness, darkness and light. It’s a story of falling down as much as it is about building yourself back up. Kling has shown that she can write romance with heart and hope, but with this story, she’s shown us that she can also write something that makes your toes curl and want—need—to turn the next page.

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[Ambur · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loved Heidi R. Kling's writing ever since I first read Sea, so when I heard about Paint My Body Red, I was extremely excited!!! The description sounded dark and edgy, with the promise of some romance involving a swoon-worthy cowboy, which sounded pretty amazing to me. Sure enough, I started the book, and couldn't put it down!

Paint My Body Red is about Paige. When she was younger, her parents divorced, and her mom moved her to California, away from her family's ranch in Wyoming. She goes back years later, after a series of suicides takes place involving students from her school, and when she gets to the ranch, she sees just how much it has changed and how her father's health has declined due to ALS. While the circumstances of her return were sad, I loved seeing Paige make herself at home once again on the ranch. I loved seeing her get to know her father again, and their relationship was one of my favourite parts of the novel. I loved seeing her get to know the woman that her father loved, Anna. And I especially loved seeing her friendship with Jake evolve. I just really loved this story! The characters immediately pulled me in, and I genuinely cared for Paige. It was amazing to see how time on her father's ranch helped her overcome what she experienced back in Palo Alto.

While there is a romantic element to Paint My Body Red, I loved that the story wasn't defined by romance. Instead, the story was largely about Paige healing and growing stronger on the ranch. The story itself was told in an extremely interesting way. Paige narrates the entire book, but it alternates between her present and the events that happened to her back in California, which she records in her diary. Writing out what happened acts as a catharsis for Paige, and her time on the ranch helps her ground herself. She's able to find happiness and joy despite the people she lost, and the abuse that she suffered. I absolutely loved this method of revealing Paige's past—it was unique and engaging.

I also loved the romance in the story, and thoroughly enjoyed Jake and Paige together. I loved their banter, and they brought out the best in each other. They worked extremely well together, and it was fantastic to see their relationship evolve from friendship into something more, especially since it was founded on trust. I also really loved that Jake was a cowboy! There's something so attractive about a boy with the manners of a gentleman, who is still willing to kiss the crap out of a girl. ;) Even better that he never pressured Paige, and that their relationship was never rushed.

Overall, I absolutely loved Paint My Body Red. I loved that it was such a dynamic story, and that it covered such important topics. Suicide, rape, depression, and life-threatening illnesses should never be brushed aside, and I thought it was amazing that Heidi R. Kling approached all of those topics in Paint My Body Red. This story is so important, and it delivers such a powerful message about life, valuing the life you're given, and working to overcome the things that hold you back. I thought that it was a complex, mysterious, and captivating story, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone!

[Erica Chilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a copy of this title to read and review for Wicked Reads

5 Stars

Suggested Young Adult age-range: mature 14 - 16 due to dark content, suicide, grief/mourning, and sexual content. More told than shown, but that didn't dampen the impact of the moral. Parents, gauge your child's maturity level, but I do believe it's an appropriate and necessary read to broaden all minds.

Genre: Young adult | Coming of Age | High School Graduate transitioning to college | Dark subject matter | Slight mystery/suspense feel | Realistic Romance | More heart-warming than heart-breaking |

_____________

I wasn't sure what to expect when I began Paint My Body Red. I enjoyed the storyline- the location. Going against the norm, a girl who was born in Wyoming, raised in California, returns to her roots for a few months before she ventures to college on the East coast. Paige says goodbye to the demons of her past while giving her final goodbyes to her father, all the while reconnecting with the land and finding love where she least expected it.

My emotions ran the gamut from smiling to bawling my eyes out, and then back again in a roller coaster ride of emotions. I don't wish to ruin it by giving a play-by-play. But I will say there was no insta-love, no cheesy eye-roll-worthy teenage girl obsessed with boys inner monologue. No overplayed and overused tropes of jealousy and miscommunications to take the place of real storytelling. Fluid, the book flowed as reality.

Paige: a strong female lead. A good role model. Neither whiny nor perfect. Flaws forged the character into someone who acted and reacted most certainly human. As an eighteen-year-old, Paige doesn't fall into the trap of being bossy/TSTL/know-it-all/helpless yet does-it-all. Anti-cliche. The girl was a well-rounded character with traits that followed human nature.

Adult readers may find Paige's earlier actions hard to swallow, but one must remember what it felt like to be newly 18. In my 30s, I'm just now able to recognize things I would have been too blind to see in my late teens. Be empathetic while reading this very tough subject matter.

The parents were flawed as well- all the side characters were, but not overtly so. Even those who could have been vilified were painted with an empathetic brush. There was no right or wrong, only consequences and life lessons worth learning.

My only partial negative, I had difficulty engaging with the book in the beginning. Not the Now sections. Then was difficult for me to grasp at first. The flow was a bit jarring, the Now | Then | Now | Then in short bursts, sometimes only a half a page in a time-frame. I was never confused as to what was happening when. But by the middle of the story, the flow eventually evened out and became fluid.


I enjoyed Heidi R. Kling's voice, storytelling, even with the dark subject matter. I'd recommend it to those who need a highly emotional read, but be forewarned to keep the tissues handy. Anyone who needs a warm, cuddly read, please come back when you're emotionally ready.

Would I read more by this author? I intend to see what other stories Kling has written.

[Erica (storybookend) · Rating 4 out of 5]

From reading Kling’s other novel, Sea, I knew that Paint My Body Red would be beautiful and suffused with emotion. And it didn’t disappoint. The writing was nice, the characters were real and deep, the storyline was so, so intriguing. The only thing that I didn't like (which is the reason why I gave this book a 4 instead of a 5) was there was too much usage of the f-word for my tastes (and a little bit of sexual content). But, that is just me, and it didn’t necessarily take away from the story. Sometimes I felt the swearing fit the characters—I guess—but I still didn’t care for it. However, that was the only bad thing for me. The rest of the novel was good.

For most of the novel, I could not stop reading. I was so anxious to find out the truth, find out what really happened to Paige and what happened with Ty. Ty was a mystery, and I wanted so much to find out more about him. That’s part of the reason that kept me reading. Ty was such a broken character and he needed love, but he just went searching in the wrong place for it.

I really liked the set-up of the story. It’s told in the now of Paige’s story, and then it goes into flashbacks of her past as she writes in her journal in an attempt to sort out what happened and to let her feelings out. I felt that this added depth to Paige’s story and allowed the reader to live what Paige went through. It was actually hard to read sometimes, as I found out bit by bit what Paige was going through. I felt her pain. This is one thing that I think Kling does so well. She really gets people and how people think, and so the emotions that her characters have feel real. And for me, even if a book isn’t written amazingly with beautiful writing and complex, intriguing plots, as long as it has the right emotion, I will love that book.

This book, however, didn’t lack in plot or character development or writing style. Basically it had everything good going for it. I particularly liked Jake and his charm and honesty. He was what Paige needed. He helped show her what real love could be like. That was a beautiful romance, definitely not without its trials, but, I think trials help make something beautiful and stronger. A lesson exemplified through Paige as she found her own strength and courage and love for herself.

This book was such a great read. I would recommend it to readers looking for a deeply emotional, haunting story that is so dense that it’s hard to read sometimes because it hurts, but that’s so intriguing you can’t put it down, and that is so beautiful because of its characters trying so hard to live and love.


*I would like to thank the publicist for Entangled TEEN for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for a review!*

[Rachel Geiger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly, this is a book that will stay with me for awhile. The subject is extremely tough, and it can be very emotionally draining for me personally. Meaning, I can only take so much of really sad situations in books but at the same time, this is a significant story that needs to be told. I felt like the author did a good job at being sensitive and honest at the same time. She handled the tough stuff with a large amount of grace, which is always respectable to me.

I felt like the narration was clever, I've never read anything like it before. Basically, the main character is writing about the chain of events that led her to coming to stay with her father for the summer before she goes off to college. She writes all these details in a diary and the chapters are titled to mark the "then and now" sequence of events. Anyway, it was very tastefully done and I liked that the author was able to stand out with her storytelling.

In the then chapters, we get to see the toxic relationship that unraveled between Paige and her step-brother Ty back in California. This was unnerving for me at times, because I automatically could sense that something wasn't right with him, but I also did enjoy the way the author revealed the information. There was a decent balance between the "then and now" chapters. Meaning, while the flashbacks were gradually worse and worse as Paige's life begins to go to shambles, her current life is pretty great as she spends time on the ranch in Wyoming with the hot and sweet cowboy Jake.Read full review on Go Read A Book

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sooo... Most of the time after finishing a book I dive straight to another one. But there are sometimes where you finish a book and simply need a time to THINK about it. And this book is one of them.

I had a love/hate relationship with this one. I hated and liked Paige. But honestly I hated her at the start of the book but ended up loving her. She grows from being an annoying, idiot girl to a brave, strong and wise woman.

As the blurb of the book says Paige is shipped off to her dad's Wyoming ranch. She's in a bad shape, having nightmares and a past mistake ghost hunting her every night. She's numb and not living at all, and it's not until she's in Eight Hands Ranch again, where she starts discovering herself again.
The book is told from Now and Then, we are told little by little what happened in Paige high school, what happened with her and her stepbrother Ty. And we get to see too, how Paige starts living her life.

The characters where beautiful described and were far from perfect, they where REAL. They made mistake. Some of the little some of them huge, but at the end most of them tried to get past it and keep living their life. Some of them didn't and "checked out".

I felt most of the story real, and I'm so glad I had the opportunity to read it. This is a book I totally recommend.

**ARC received via Netgalley.com, thanks Netgalley and Mrs. Altenburg for the e-copy.**

[Laura Hernandez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC when I signed up and was selected to host the book tour. I made no guarantee of a favorable review and the opinions expressed here are my own.

This book was beautifully written. The author wrote this in past and present tense and she did an amazing job with the way she wrote about the subject matter which is teen suicide. A dark read with many emotional moments. The story line moved at a perfect pace and the characters are full of depth.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought that this was a very well written story. Although it was dark on some aspects, Paige learns to find herself and matures a lot along the way. I found myself longing to know how things were going to end for Paige and flipping through the pages faster and faster. This story flowed really well and I liked how it was written in Paige's past and the present. It gave you a backstory to be able to relate to and understand how Paige was where she was at in life.

Paige is a young lady that has been sent to her father's ranch in Wyoming from California by her mother. There have been several suicides that have taken place by Paige's classmates and her mom is afraid that she is going to be next and end up committing suicide, even though she doesn't demonstrate any signs. What Paige is not ready for is how sick her father really is. No one had told Paige how her father had deteriorated and was not even able to talk or walk. Paige learns to accept this with her father and makes the most out of the time they have left with him. The other thing that Paige was not ready for is how hot her life long friend, Jake is now all grown up. Paige and Jake were good friends growing up and Paige has many good memories with him, but now she can't take her eyes off of him or stop thinking about him once she gets a glimpse of the new Jake. Luckily for Paige, Jake lives and works on the ranch!

I really liked how we got to go back and see how the suicides effected Paige in the book and it was not just her recounting the accidents. It was real time when they were happening. It helped to understand things so much better and this was brilliant by the author I thought. I felt that I was right there with Paige experiencing all of it with her.

Paige has to remember what all she used to do on the ranch before fitting back in. She has to get back in the saddle and ride again as well. When Jake helps her get a horse ready to ride on morning before they head out on a journey to bring some cattle back, Paige is sent on her own journey to get used to things again. I really think this was a turning point for Paige in getting back to her roots. Everything came right back to play for her and it was like she had never left.

Jake was such a likeable character. He did not push himself on Paige and he gave her space to make her own decisions. He was always there for Paige when she needed him and he was protective of her, but never pushy. After an accident that Paige has one night, Jake begins to express his true feelings for Paige and that is when we start to swoon over Jake, in my opinion. Jake encourages Paige to so things that are not comfortable to her and to take chances. He is always there to help her, but he wants her to be happy with what she decides to do as well. Paige is hard headed and Jake knows that about her. There is some steamy romance mixed into this story along with all the hardships that Paige has had to go through.

Will Paige and Jake get their HEA or will Paige run back to California and forget all about her time at the ranch? This story caught me by surprise in that I could not put it down! I wanted to find out how things ended so I kept reading and reading until I was finished and upset that there was no more. You will not be disappointed in this one! Thanks Heidi R. King for a great read and I can not wait for more from you in the near future!

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an amazing book. I wasn’t 100% sure right at the beginning about what I’d think of it, but the more I read, the more I loved it. It’s another book that focus on a taboo topic i.e. teenage suicide. The writing was so raw, so emotional, so utterly fantastic. Thank you Netgalley for providing me a copy in exchange for a honest review. I gave this book 5 out of 5 stars.

The intense summary, and beautiful cover, is what first drew me to this book. The story is told from two different time periods (kind of): ‘Then’ and ‘Now’. The ‘Then’ parts come from the ‘Now’ Paige remembering and writing it all down. Each is equally riveting in their own unique way. In a way, I looked forward to the ‘Then’ parts the most, so I could find out what had happened in Paige’s past. I was about 95% correct with my assumptions. With that said, I really loved the ‘Now’ parts too. I loved reading about Paige being back on her family ranch, reconnecting with her sick father, interacting with the ranch hands, especially Jake. I don’t really have a thing for cowboys/country boys, but he was totally swoon-worthy.

I really appreciated the fact that Heidi went places with this novel that maybe other authors would have skirted around. She wasn’t afraid to lay it all out there in her book, and I loved it so much more for that. She showed us the good, the bad, and the ugly (excuse the cliché). I found myself crying several times while reading this book. My heart went out to Paige for everything she’d gone through, everything she was still going through/dealing with on the ranch. I really liked most of the characters (Paige, her dad Gus, Anna, and Jake). I kind of liked Ty, or at least didn’t mind him, in the beginning of the book, but my opinion changed the further we got into Paige’s story.

I don’t want to give anything away, but this book definitely kept me on the edge of my seat, wanting to read more and more. The story was fast-paced, and very engaging. I’d highly recommend it, especially when you get to see a genuine cowboy that’s pretty much a dream come true. Jake was beyond amazing, and he’s going on my book boyfriend list. The ending of the book was great, and I almost wished the book wasn’t over, just so I could keep reading. I bought the Kindle version, and I’ll be rereading this beautiful book again and again.

There were so many great lines in this book! When I did my progress updates on Goodreads, I added about 9-10 of my favorite lines from the entire book. Here are several of my absolute favorites: “It’s easier to lose myself in the darkness of my life when I’m alone.” and “If I write it on paper, it may pop the cork off the bottle my chest is holding so tightly closed. If I write it on paper, I might be able to breathe again.” and “I understand his philosophy. But he should know by now that life isn’t black and white—it’s red. And in that color is where we spend the whole of what matters, the vibrancy of life, the bloody mess of death, and the pulsing heart of love.” and “…things happen. Bad things. Good things. And we can’t do anything to stop them. Sometimes life just has to play itself out.”

Final note: Read this book! It was such a touching story, and I’m so glad Heidi believed that it had to be one novel. I’m sure you’ll be as enthralled with this book as I was.

[books are love · Rating 4 out of 5]

Received in exchange for a honest review.

this was unique and wonderful. As we watch Paige slowly unburden herself of the guilt and open up again we see a new young woman emerge. Watching her find room in her heart for love and finding her dad and a family that loves without burdens but because they do is wonderful.

When I first started to read the then sections,which are powerful, I didn’t like all aspects of Paige. She was a user. She used Ty as a outlet for pain and when things got real she hurt him. HE was in a horrible place and yes was a horrible person but she did use him for her own needs and than didn’t care to help him by speaking out. I mean yes things happen and she doesn’t shoulder the blame because Ty was the person in charge of himself but she did use him and that was wrong. What was happening in California had a impact on her in ways she didn’t think until she began to see it after separating herself from it. It is her Dad,Anna and Jake that help her find her way. They don’t pry, but accept her as is and doesn’t care about what happened in the past but about the here and now. They are there to support and listen when she needs it but not bury her in the past or her pain. They want her to move on and find peace and herself again.

Her dad was sweet and it was sad to see him the way he was. But he played a pivotal role in showing Paige that when life gets tough fight for what you believe in and love. Fight for life as well. They got close as Paige found that she loves the city but needs the cowgirl in her to create balance. Her dad helped her see what love with no forced ways is needed to heal and become who you are meant to be.

Jake oh Jake. He is so so amazing. He helps Paige the most by showing her patience, kindness, support and belief. Belief in her and that she isn’t her past but a strong stubborn woman who is worthy of love and kindness. That she isn’t to blame for the bad but that things happen and there is no reason sometimes but that we need to learn to live and move on. Accept that bad things happen and move on.

Jake shows Paige so much love and friendship. This is a great relationship for Paige because he accepts and loves all of her. He doesn’t judge even after reading her past but loves her unconditionally. he shows her kindness and support. He is hard working, smart sweet and loyal. He is the perfect balance for Paige and as the book goes on and they get closer and closer you see this more and more. Seeing them fall in love was a breath of fresh air and great to have occur.

This is a book on finding acceptance within yourself and with others while moving on and opening yourself up to love and finding yourself. A book on love and moving on from the past- a past that is painful but not your fault. A unique book that shows us patience and love. Acceptance and forgiveness of yourself.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paint My Body Red!!! First things first: I received an ARC through NetGalley.
The book came out yesterday, so if it's something you are interested in, you should check it out.
 
There is that quote towards the end of the book, that I want to start this review with. Cause it's one of those quotes that I want to write down everywhere and that I had no trouble with tattooing it on my forehead.
 
"But he should know by now that life isn't black and white - it's red. And in that color is where we spend the whole of what matters, the vibrancy of life, the bloody mess of death, and the pulsing heart of love."
 
The book is just beautiful. The story is that special kind of sad beautiful, that tugs on every single one of your heartstrings. It's the kind of beautiful when a person goes through a lot and finally is able to start healing. And not just the story is beautiful but also the writing. I'm in love with the author's writing. Cause let's be real, a story about a teenage suicides is a tricky story. I can only imagine how hard it is to write something like that, to write it the right way. The author did it beautifully and tastefully.
 
The characters were wonderfully written. There were so many layers to every one of them and they were just really well thought out. At first I couldn't connect with Paige, who is the main character of this story. But through the pages she really grew on me. And now that i have finished the book, she is one of those characters that will hold a special place in my heart. She is just that important to me now. She grew so much in the story. I loved the difference between the 'then' and the 'now', how she acted and how she changed.
 
I also really loved the family aspect of the story. I mean this could have been a story about Paige going to her daddy's farm and meeting Jake and it would have all been about these two and their love and what not. But the author made it about love, but the love of family. Paige reconnecting with her father. Finding a second mother in Anna. Finding Jake, who truly believes in her. Of course they fall in love. But it's beautiful. It's slowly growing. It isn't rushed and it makes so much sense. And the love between Paige and Scout, that beautiful and stubborn horse (the connection between these two brought me back to my love for the tv show Wildfire!!!).
 
I won't say much about the plot, cause I had seriously no idea what I was getting into when I started reading this book and it surprised me and I feel like it's the best way to read this book. Not knowing and enjoying every turn of event.

[Zareena · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not sure what I expected from Paint My Body Red but it was a great read! Paige is being sent to her father’s ranch for the summer to protect her from the events of the past year and to give her some distance from everything before university.

There are lots of threads that the author pulls together in Paint My Body Red: Paige’s father’s illness, the mystery behind the suicides and Paige’s involvement, Paige healing, and the romance with Jake. First the plot. Last year a string of suicides occurred at Paige’s school, people she had grown up with. In flashbacks we see what happened and how Paige was affected. I wasn’t sure what to think about the string of suicides but one thing for sure was that Paige’s mental health began to decline, especially after she got sexually involved with her stepbrother. We find out what happened through the flashbacks and in pieces so there’s Tia tensions that runs throughout the book, which made me want to read on.

Everything we learn about Paige’s past is disturbing but when Paige heads out to Wyoming and her dad’s ranch she is determined to get better. So often characters in YA books who have been through something traumatic are anti-therapist and don’t seem to want to face what happened. But Paige didn’t do that. She slowly goes through what happened to her and she doesn’t make decisions that she knows will hurt her progress. Also, I really liked Paige’s character: she’s quiet but also determined. One thing I didn’t like about Paige was that in the flashbacks she seemed to be really selfish at times.

I really enjoyed Paint My Body Red and the romance made it even better. Jake is the love interest and the author did a wonderful job of building friend hair between Paige and Jake before even suggesting something more. Paige knows she’s not ready for any type of relationship and she takes the time to get to know Jake as a friend. When they do finally get together it was really sweet. Similar to Paige, Jake is a pretty laid back person but he compliments Paige really well. Also, did I mention he’s a cowboy? Yeah ;) . Having said that, I thought all the secondary characters, including Jake, were a bit flat and could have done with more development. The author spent so much time on Paige – which worked really well – but Jake’s character had the potential to more, so that was slightly disappointing.

Overall Paint My Body Red was an enjoyable read. It is certainly not a light read and at times it was a little disturbing but the author handled all he topics wonderfully and I’d definitely recommend picking this one up :)

Young Adult/New Adult
4 stars

Thank you, Entangled, for providing me with a review copy! All views and opinions are my own.

[Ally · Rating 3 out of 5]

NetGalley.

Wow. Paint My Body Red is definitely one tale that'll stick long after I finished reading its last page. The best parts are its plot, character, and the main character's relationship with the sort-of antagonist. And I can't forget about the main character's friendship with a wild horse!

Here we go. Let's dive in.

First of all, I want to say that I'm not an expert at abusive relationships involving rape. (It has never happened to me, thankfully, and what I know comes from secondhand sources.) But what happens in Paint My Body Red seems realistic, and the main character's (Paige's) very wrong relationship with her stepbrother (Tyler) is horrible and downright frightening. The power play between the victim and the abuser is disgustingly fascinating, and I can't help but hope Tyler goes and die a very painful death. Preferably alone. Where he can rot while his soul wanders the earth forever and never rests.

(Okay, I clearly took too much time reveling in that.)

Paige is healing from her nasty experiences in the present. She meets Jake, and suddenly, she is thrown for a twist. She doesn't know where to start, and she is very, very likable. Though she starts off as slightly naive, she becomes stronger. She doesn't get broken down, and it is clear that being on the ranch is doing good things to her. Being friends with a wild horse is helping her heal even more.

Jake is sweet and kind. He's an old friend of Paige, a blast from the past. I wish the author dived a bit more into his character, because he has a whole bunch of potential. (Though the ending part of the book doesn't exactly make him likable. The girl you're in love with was worried about you, Jake! Call her!)

Six suicides. Contrary to what the synopsis sounds like, it's not from supernatural causes. I heard from somewhere that suicide rates peak up when someone kills themselves. It's quite ghastly (but I have to raise my eyes at that large number. Six suicides in a single school? A bit far-fetched).

The plot goes by quickly, and it's split between the past and the present. The present parts are simply the best, which is all I have to say on that subject. The ending, on the other hand, falls weak at some areas, but it gives a good send-off.

Overall, Paint My Body Red is the kind of book that has that one relationship that haunts people. The descriptions are quite freaky, and the story never makes me bored. Not for a moment. This one is definitely for those who have a strong stomach for darkness and duplicity.

Rating: Three out of Five

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[Suze · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paige is on her way to her father's ranch to spend the summer there. After traumatic events at home she needs a change of scenery before the start of her first semester as a student. Jake, a nice guy who isn't much older than Paige, is picking her up from the airport and he's taking her to the place that used to be her home. When she arrives at the ranch nothing is like she remembered it. Her father has ALS and while before there were plenty of people now there are only two people left who are taking care of him. Slowly Paige's body is starting to heal and she's finally able to tell her story. She writes it all down in a diary. Even though she likes Jake she isn't ready to let someone in again, too much has happened for her to be able to do that...

Paint My Body Red is a beautiful story about a girl who's had a difficult time. Paige needs to get away from that life. At Paige's high school students were committing suicide. Heidi R. Kling managed to write about that in a sensitive way. I was curious to find out what happened to Paige and could really feel her pain. I read this book in one sitting, because I couldn't put it away. I had to keep reading to see what would happen to her and to find out what happened in her past. There are two different types of chapters, a then and a now part which works really well. It's clear what is what and it makes the story easy to follow.

I instantly liked Paige, but because of what she says about herself I was on guard. She went through something traumatic and when she arrives at the ranch another difficult situation is waiting for her. I think Heidi R. Kling wrote about ALS in such an honest way. It was both sad and loving. Paige has so much to deal with. Sometimes life is like that and I admire the sensitive way Heidi R. Kling deals with all of those issues. She's written such an excellent story. Her writing is gripping and I think this book is really, really good.

[T. Rosado · Rating 5 out of 5]

5+ SHOCKINGLY BEAUTIFUL STARS!

Although tough material was tackled in this sociologically current novel, I closed the book after the last page and let out a happy sigh. Heidi Kling, you rocked this novel!

I will honestly admit that I had some reservations going into this book due to the subject matter - suicide, illness, rape, and death. I would have completely cheated myself if I hadn't delved right in. The book is written in Paige's POV, but that doesn't hinder what we experience with the other characters in the story. With Paige's conversations, descriptions and inner dialogue, Heidi Kling was still able to take every role in this book, major or minor, and give them authentic and believable voices. This is incredibly true with Paige as she is forced to grow up quickly with the events that take place around her, but yet she still longs to be mommy and daddy's little girl. Paige is probably one of the most well-written and honest characters that I have read all year. As for the romance, I couldn't love a hero more than Jake. He's the perfect laid back cowboy for Paige and the intense recovery from her tumultuous year. After a book like Paint My Body Red, I'm reminded why I love to read.

I was given a copy of Paint My Body Red from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

[Jessica Brooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paint My Body Red is a tough read about a tough girl who makes some tough choices (some of which she ultimately regrets, but when one is going through hard times, one doesn't always make the best decisions).

The setting flips back and forth between current time and the past in two completely different states, slowly unravelling the storyline as you learn how things got to be the way they are whilst watching Paige come out of her shell as she re-acclimates herself to her dad and where she grew up.

Paint My Body Red is a good read; though almost two totally different books (both with the main character). With that said, Heidi executes it well, and I never found myself annoyed at having to be in one place while the book was in the other. In the end, you get exactly what you were hoping for. I think anyone who enjoys YA contemporary reads, country/cowboy contemporary reads, romance, and tough issues (like suicide) will appreciate this book.

*I'd say this book is highly UPPER YA due to MANY situations.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paige is a senior who gets sent to live on her father's ranch following a string of suicides at her high school. Her mother fears she is next, so she is sent to spend time with her ill father, but what she doesn't expect is to find herself in a completely different world, with a cute cowboy learning more about herself than she ever expected.

The storytelling was my favourite aspect of this book - I felt as though I was in the story and when an author can create that kind of imagery, it stays with you long after you close the book. The characters were all a part of me as I read the story and Paige was relateable in the best possible way. The story is told in two sections, with one part being the current day happenings of Paige's new life on the ranch and the second part is her diary entries explaining what happened to those around her in her high school just before she moved. This worked really well for this story as it kept me interested throughout, wanting to know what was going to happen now as well as what had previously happened. I would highly recommend reading this book.

[Deitre · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve had this book on my TBR pile since I read Heidi R. Kling’s Not Okay, Cupid. Let me warn you, Paint My Body Red is nothing like that book. Cupid is lighter and focused around the romance between Hazel and Felix. Paint has a guy and a girl, but instead of one story, you get two.

Read the rest of the review!

[Ingrid Paulson · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing and moving novel. Heidi Kling's prose is gorgeous and brings this story to life.

[Dayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really surprising read! Review coming soon.

Happy reading!