It's Not Fair, Jeremy Spencer's Parents Let Him Stay up All Night!: A Guide to the Tougher Parts of Parenting

by Anthony E. Wolf

Anthony Wolf's groundbreaking book focuses on the most difficult challenges of parenting post-infant to pre-teen children―setting limits and making demands. Dr. Wolf covers all the class parenting problem family disputes, including who's in charge (Mom or Dad), sibling fights, and divorce; day-to-day issues such as bedtime, grumpiness, and public tantrums; and problems that might not be problems after all, like aggression, lying, and spoiling. Positive, loving, and, above all, effective, this guide offers parents what they want more time to enjoy their children.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

264 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 1995

About the author

Published in the UK as Tony Wolf

Reviews

[Tiffany]

Probably should have read this 10 years ago.

[Jill Dombrowski]

Boundaries and love
The adults should be in charge
Business parents!

[Jennifer]

By the end of the book, I was getting frustrated with the author's writing style. He used a lot of hypothetical conversations between a parent and a child, which is not atypical for this type of book. However, he didn't always do a good job in explaining if a conversation was a good one or one to be avoided (and honestly, I couldn't always tell!) Sometimes he started a list of "Things not to do," or something like that, only to say that actually the last two items on the list were okay, or maybe great things to do. Too confusing!

Some of his examples also seemed contrary to each other. He has a hypothetical "perfect father" in a particular scenario, listening to the arguments of two of his kids, then helping them figure out how to solve their problem. In the next section, he warns parents *not* to listen to the arguments of their kids, that this will only serve to increase bickering in the future. Zuh?

It is possible that I missed or misread some of the author's points. I hope to reread the book before it goes back to the library, so I can take notes on some of the ideas that seemed to make sense.

[Charity]

It was uncanny how well the author describes parenting situations, their possible outcomes, and the thought processes of both the parent and the child during said situations. I took copious notes and feel like a better parent already as I keep thinking of it while dealing with my kids and nieces and nephews. He describes how it is that children can feel it is okay to treat you, the parent, horribly, but be nice to perfect strangers. It makes a lot of sense and helps to make certain unpleasant behaviors (tantrums, whining, arguing, defiance, verbal abuse) less of a personal affront to the parent. I recommend it.

[JoEllen Morris]

Summertime; time for my yearly parenting book. This book was pretty easy to read and also funny in some of the true-to-life situations. Of course no one ever agrees with everything the author says in a parenting book, but there are still some very good ideas that I want to re-read before returning it to the library. And also some advice I will never use. But I think in general it was a good read, and that reading parenting books helps me feel like I'm not such a terrible mom because at least I'm trying.

[Zoe]

10/9/11 - This parenting book is fairly fun and easy to read, still, like most reference books, I may never actually read every word of it, as I gravitate towards fiction. Anthony Wolf paints a clear picture of how our brains as divided into a "baby self" and a "mature self." When kids are with their parents, they revert to their "baby self." I find his logic very useful indeed in dealing with my children.

[Stephanie]

Recommended by our pediatrician, this parenting book describes how to deal with the "baby self". If the baby self is not allowed to feed off the parent, the "mature self" can be nurtured, according to the book. Lots of good tips and insights.

[Maura OToole]

Parenting book for the in-between years. I'll let you know if it works.

[Laura]

Liked it, esp. the parts about 'business parent.'

[Melissa]

I live by this book. Smart, practical, realistic approach to dealing with normal kid behavior that drives you crazy.

[Karen Anderson]

This book works! (at least for my kids- well worth the read!!)

[Ülker Saruhan sönmez]

Bugüne dek okuduğum en iyi ebeveyn kitabı diyebilirim. Son derece net ve öz.

[Sara Avrams]

Anthony Wolf knows what he is talking about. This is a wonderful adjunct to his first book, Get Out Of My Live, But First Can You Drive Cheryl And Me To the Mall.

[Pam]

Funny but real situations