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Ask a Queer Chick: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life for Girls Who Dig Girls

4.03  ·  Rating details ·  454 ratings  ·  74 reviews
Ask a Queer Chick is a guide to sex, love, and life for lesbian, gay, bi, and queer women. Based on the long-running and popular advice column for The Hairpin, but featuring entirely new content, Ask a Queer Chick cuts through all of the bizarre conditioning imparted by parents, romantic comedies, and The L Word to help queer readers and their straight/cis friends navigate ...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published February 2nd 2016 by Plume
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Disclaimer: I received an advance copy of this book free for review from NetGalley.

I've been putting off reviewing this book for five days now, which is pretty unlike my usual habits. I try to review everything as soon as I finish (unless it's like 2am and I have to get to sleep because I have work in the morning and need to actually use my brain for something other than filling the vacuum of my skull cavity), and it really bugs me to have unreviewed books staring at me every day from my Goodre
Nov 16, 2017 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: beginners of any age
Recommended to 7jane by: Debbie "DJ"
'Ask A Queer Chick' is originally the column the author has written since 2011 (she contributes also to other publications).

The book is for women attracted to women (trans women included), starting on the LGTBQ scene - with a chapters also for those who want to support them. The chapters: on coming out, guide to the subculture, on dating, sex (brief and not particularly detailed but sufficient starter), breakups, bisexual girls (and their particular troubles etc.), the chapter for straight supp
Lexxi Kitty
*I received this book from NetGalley in return for a fair review.*

My first book by this author. This is not my first LGBT nonfiction that I’ve read, but it is the first that I’ve read that is about current events. Well, no, I read that book about . . . okay, let me rephrase. This is the first LGBT nonfiction book about that appears to have been written from the millennial generation perspective.

I’m not actually sure if the book is from that perspective, especially since the author information
Katie Harder-schauer
I received a copy of this book through Penguin's First to Read program in exchange for an honest review.

This book isn't really for me because I'm fairly certain I'm a "normal" straight chick. That being said, a lot of the advice in this book is something that I think all women could benefit from, and there's a fair amount of advice that straight men could certainly benefit from concerning how to treat women. Honestly, enough of the advice would be beneficial for anyone with a romantic partner of
Rachel Wexelbaum
May 20, 2017 rated it did not like it
This book is a huge disappointment. King-Miller is a lesbian advice columnist, and should have published the real questions that she had received, along with her responses, instead of writing this one size fits all book. There is very little here that would be useful to anyone in the 21st century, and this author still promotes the lesbian haircut to "advertise". If we still lived in the 1950s this book might be great. ...more
Faith Simon
Jun 15, 2018 rated it liked it
I loved reading this!! I learned a lot, have loads to take into consideration in my daily laugh, gained perspective and now have a need to read anything else this author writes. A wonderfully quirky and personified narration present throughout this book makes for an enjoyable reading experience throughout. She certainly had lots of advice to give, I feel like every question I’ve ever had I’ve now received an answer for.
Okay, okay. I know what you're thinking. You're obviously not a queer chick, so why did you read this?

Well, not that I have to explain myself, but because: (1) a friend on Goodreads said it was really good (thanks Lexxi Kitty!), (2) I was wanting to read an LGBT-positive non-fiction book from NetGalley for a change, and (3) because there's actually a chapter for straight allies, which I do consider myself. If those aren't enough reasons, then I don't know what to say.

Lindsay King-Miller is an
Anna (Bananas)
Nov 11, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: memoir, f-f, lgbtqia
I’m not a good reviewer for self help books. I think they mostly include a bunch of crap you should already know. If you can’t figure it out on your own, are you really going to listen to some random author? However, this one is targeted at women who love women and the specificity encouraged me to give it a try. While some chapters did include helpful tips, in general the book was much too ....general. Most of what she outlined was common sense if you have any self esteem and life experience. Wh ...more
Mar 21, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This book made my heart smile and reminded me why representation is so important. I especially loved that the author is a bi lady and spent time speaking to bi erasure!
Feb 22, 2017 rated it it was amazing
What are you reading? "a dating book". That awkward moment when you know you can't come out to some people. Some people can be friends, or family, or acquaintances. Regardless of your sexual identity, empower yourself to read this book.

Chapters titled "Coming Out", "Of Mullets and Motorcycles: Your Guide to the Subculture", "I'm not Gay, but My Sister Is: Advice for Straight People", and "Bi Any Means Necessary: Notes on Non-Monosexuality" will guide you to appropriate chapters, if you choose t
Dec 09, 2015 rated it liked it
This book was....meh. Maybe because I got it thinking it was going to go into more of the subculture, or answer the questions that I had. However, it did have its humor, so that was a good point. The format was more of an "Ask ___" with responses and it didn't flow like a regular book would.

I would, however, recommend it for anyone to read so that they could have a little fun as well as learning more about a particular group of women (not to generalize, but).
Jul 29, 2019 rated it liked it
disagreed w a few minor things, and this format of nonfiction just isn’t my favorite type of book in general. however, i liked the author’s voice and she approached everything with compassion, which is very important and very good. and she gives good advice.
Feb 16, 2018 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Madeline McDaniel
Shelves: teen, nonfiction, advice, queer
exceptional, a literal handbook for relationships of all kinds, and most importantly, empowering to the reader. Favorite thing I encourage others to take away from this compendium -"don't settle for Mr.Okay, stop waiting for Mr.Right, and go look for Mr.Perfect"- { absolute gem :-) } and full of honesty. I recommend this book to all (queer, straight, allies, even not-yet-allies)

これ をお たのしみ ください
Jan 13, 2021 rated it really liked it
Good information about everything you need to know about being a wlw or a nblw! Lots of humor involved, and a really down to earth narrative.
Robin Lynn
Feb 04, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Ask a Queer Chick! Ask a Queer Chick is a natural extension of Lindsay King-Miller's popular "Ask a Queer Chick" advice column at The Hairpin. This column has been invaluable in the coming out and dating world for emerging queer girls all over. 
This book is fantastic. I've been reading Ms. King-Miller's column for a few years now, and her advice is always heartfelt, and delivered with a nice dose of irreverent humour. With chapters containing guidance on things from Coming Out, to Don't Stare a
Cynthia Corral
Dec 09, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: first-reads
I was given an early digital edition by FirstToRead, but was not able to finish it before it expired.
However what I did read was entertaining and likely informative to young people or even more adult women who are just realizing the direction their hearts point. It reminded me of a very old (1960s) book I was given by my doctor when I hit puberty, something like "On Becoming a Woman", but Ask a Queer Chick is more light-hearted, 50 years more current, and of course directed toward lesbians. The
Mickey Ran
Jan 24, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I'll be recommending this book to anyone and EVERYONE, regardless of their sexual or gender identities - no matter what part of the spectrum you identify with, you will find wisdom, humor, and straightforward good advice throughout this entire book! The author's strong and hilarious voice holds true on every page, with compassion and understanding. No matter what part of what spectrum you identify with, we've all got questions about how to live more honestly and authentically with our loves, our ...more
Feb 02, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: feminism
Some of my favorite lines from the book:
"Femininity and masculinity are value-neutral, and we're all in this together."

"If you're a kinky gal with a vanilla (or non-kinky) partner, or a vanilla gal with a kinky partner, it's important to remember that sexual preferences are value-neutral"

"Let's all try to remove hurtful words and phrases like 'LUG' and 'former bisexual' from our vocabularies, and replace them with more positive terminology like 'Hey, I made you brownies.'"

"Don't feel that you ha
Jan 17, 2016 rated it liked it
Received through Penguin's First to Read program. From this straight chick's POV, Lindsay King-Miller has succeeded in writing an informative book. It's a window into a world I'd like to know better so that I can better understand what my queer chick friends go through -- how to be an ally. Thus I especially appreciate the advice the author gives in chapter 7 -- clarifying proper terminology and suggesting how "not to be a dick." Seriously, it made sense. I enjoyed the author's sense of humor an ...more
Dot Miller
Jan 07, 2016 rated it it was amazing
This book was fantastic. Whether you are a Queer Chick, are related to, work with, know someone that is or simply want to understand better, a Queer Chick.... this is a MUST READ! This book covers it all... how to come out of the closet, if you haven't already, to dating and living together, all the way to the families and supporting those that have come out of the closet. I would recommend it to everyone. ...more
Jul 17, 2016 added it
This is a pretty basic intro to queer culture and would best serve teenagers and other women who are questioning but haven't come out yet and allies who have had very little exposure to gay stuff. ...more
Feb 17, 2019 rated it liked it
I would recommend this for people who are just now coming out, which I am not. It was pretty basic advice.
Jan 03, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: life
Some parts of this book are very touching and wise, kind of like queer manners. However, it's primarily for younger women who identify with woke ideology. ...more
Apr 26, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Fantastic and inclusive and very intelligent in a relatable way. Loved it!
Dec 16, 2019 rated it liked it
Don't take the length of time it took me to finish this book as judgement: babies show up and throw your whole reading groove off, and I hit a wall when it came to non-fiction some time ago. That said, finish this I did!

Originally, I picked this up because I'm an agony aunt slut. I think there was some expectation mis-match here: I had thought I was going to be reading letters and responses (ala the typical forum). What I got was more of a generic overview of being queer. Which, despite being a
Aug 25, 2019 rated it really liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Nicola M.
Jul 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This was the first book I read after coming out this year. It was recommended by a local coming out support group for women. It’s a great resource for those just entering the gay community and dating. It is specific to gay women (cis and trans) but does touch on, and include, each person and community within the LGBTQIA2S fold.

It’s clearly written and covers all the main topics (coming out, dating, sex, discrimination, etc) and while not an in-depth look at each of those areas (which the author
Martha Macabare
Sep 08, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Love love love this book! Excellent read!

A huge thanks to Ingrid Nilsen for recommending this book on her YouTube channel! And most especially a huge thanks to Lindsay for putting this wonderful book for all to learn from. I esp appreciate the bisexual chapter. It was so relieving to read through chapters and feel like I'm not alone and that my thoughts aren't completely weird. I learned so much from this read from how to be better at teaching those close to me on how to become effective allies
Jan 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I thought this was a light and fun read that addressed many different aspects of being queer in a respectful and insightful way. The author wrote with humor and tact. It covered a variety of topics, so I found something meaningful in each section. I would recommend for any lesbian/bi/queer/etc who is or might be, or to anyone curious about LGBTQ. Some sections are explicitly girl related, but others are applicable to everyone.
May 08, 2019 rated it liked it
This book was definitely good. I don't want to knock the writing style or the topics at all. Everything was readable and relatable. Unfortunately, this book didn't give me any new information or new perspectives. A great beginner book for anyone who does not know much about the LGBTQIA+ community, but something experienced or knowledgeable readers can skip. ...more
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Madison Mega-Mara...: #28: Ask a Queer Chick by Lindsay King-Miller 1 5 Feb 24, 2016 08:10PM  

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