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That Thing You Do With Your Mouth: The Sexual Autobiography of Samantha Matthews as Told to David Shields
In That Thing You Do With Your Mouth, actress and voice-over artist Samantha Matthews offers—in the form of an extended monologue, prompted and arranged by New York Times bestselling author (and Matthews’s cousin once removed) David Shields—a vivid investigation of her startling sexual history. From her abuse at the hands of a family member to her present-day life in Barcelona, where she briefly moonlighted as a dubber of Italian pornography into English, Matthews reveals herself to be a darkly funny, deeply contemporary woman with a keen awareness of how her body has been routinely hijacked, and how she has been “formatted” by her early trauma. Her story is a study of her uneasy relationships with female desire, her tormentors, and her lovers—with whom she seeks out both the infliction and receipt of harm. This book is an attempt, sometimes self-thwarted, to break down sexual and emotional for Matthews, literary for Shields.
For them, the only response to the unspeakable is to speak, to do that thing you do with your mouth, as directly and honestly as possible. Their provocative performance refuses neat resolution or emotional pornography; it will have readers, from literary critics to Jezebel commentators, raving, raging, celebrating, talking.
For them, the only response to the unspeakable is to speak, to do that thing you do with your mouth, as directly and honestly as possible. Their provocative performance refuses neat resolution or emotional pornography; it will have readers, from literary critics to Jezebel commentators, raving, raging, celebrating, talking.
160 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 9, 2015
7 people are currently reading
647 people want to read
About the author
David Shields
75 books264 followersDavid Shields is the author of fourteen books, including Reality Hunger (Knopf, 2010), which was named one of the best books of 2010 by more than thirty publications. GQ called it "the most provocative, brain-rewiring book of 2010"; the New York Times called it "a mind-bending manifesto." His previous book, The Thing About Life Is That One Day You'll Be Dead (Knopf, 2008), was a New York Times bestseller. His other books include Black Planet: Facing Race During an NBA Season, a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award; Remote: Reflections on Life in the Shadow of Celebrity, winner of the PEN/Revson Award; and Dead Languages: A Novel, winner of the PEN Syndicated Fiction Award. His essays and stories have appeared in the New York Times Magazine, Harper's, Yale Review, Believer, Village Voice, Salon, Slate, McSweeney's, and Utne Reader; he's written reviews for the New York Times Book Review, Los Angeles Times Book Review, Boston Globe, and Philadelphia Inquirer. His work has been translated into fifteen languages.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
March 23, 2018
This was a difficult book to read on so many levels, and not necessarily because of the sex matter. This is a sort of memoir written by Samantha Matthews, an actress, at the request of her cousin, David Shields. She would send him emails of her sexual memoirs that he would then edit. I found that a little bit odd and a bit morbid. After reading the whole thing, the author felt like another one of her abusers, if just a voyeuristic one, but still felt like he probably got off reading her sexual recounts.
Samantha seems to get abused by her family in more ways than one. Her half brothers torment her sexually and verbally and emotionally abuse her. One rapes not just her body but her mind. Her parents do nothing about it, so they also in my mind are part of the rape. It's not a feel-good book. It will make you feel dirty reading it and sad for the way Samantha's views on sex have been warped and have affected her through her relationships with men and women. It doesn't help that her self-image is so damaged by it all. She is a hard judge about her body.
Difficult and disturbing read.
Samantha seems to get abused by her family in more ways than one. Her half brothers torment her sexually and verbally and emotionally abuse her. One rapes not just her body but her mind. Her parents do nothing about it, so they also in my mind are part of the rape. It's not a feel-good book. It will make you feel dirty reading it and sad for the way Samantha's views on sex have been warped and have affected her through her relationships with men and women. It doesn't help that her self-image is so damaged by it all. She is a hard judge about her body.
Difficult and disturbing read.
April 27, 2015
The book trailer:
http://youtu.be/9Qoxc4y7YOE
Fantastic read. At times it's rawness is a little unnerving, sort of deliciously uncomfortable. At other moments in the text I feel I'm reading about myself, especially certain honest, confessional passages. None of this memoir of sexuality and sex is contrived, although it could have been. And while raw it is never crass. It might be too much to say healing, but at the very least liberating. The disjointed storytelling works well to build tension as the authors delve into recurring streams of experience and thought. This way we jump back to a story or forward to one that serves to highlight, put in perspective, or develop a voice of the story. Overall excellent.
http://youtu.be/9Qoxc4y7YOE
Fantastic read. At times it's rawness is a little unnerving, sort of deliciously uncomfortable. At other moments in the text I feel I'm reading about myself, especially certain honest, confessional passages. None of this memoir of sexuality and sex is contrived, although it could have been. And while raw it is never crass. It might be too much to say healing, but at the very least liberating. The disjointed storytelling works well to build tension as the authors delve into recurring streams of experience and thought. This way we jump back to a story or forward to one that serves to highlight, put in perspective, or develop a voice of the story. Overall excellent.
June 5, 2015
This book was very difficult to read at times, but it was so much more than I expected. The author says it's a book about childhood trauma and how it affects adulthood , but it's really about being human and how we move through the world with pain. Very powerful.
September 14, 2021
Nothing is more thrilling to me than observing a mind be honest with itself, contradict itself, remember, reflect, change, feel, doubt. Shields is a master of assemblage— the form is like an act of translation, lending coherency to someone else’s thoughts. I admire Samantha Matthews’ ability to fall into thoughtful reflection without sentimentalizing or feeling bad for herself. This book is odd and heavy and frank and funny. Not faultless but something new
February 13, 2022
An eye opening autobiography of sorts from a voice over and dubbing actor who worked on adult movies. Matthews pulls no punches and Shields presents her story unflinchingly.
January 17, 2016
I really enjoyed this. I hope it doesn't get overlooked in the grand scheme of things. The writing style was surprising and refreshing. Imagine a deep, in-depth, raw, real interview with all of the questions removed and only the true grit of beautiful emotional honest answers left. What you think this book is about, it's not. What you desperately need it to be...it is. I'd love a second book to know more. Get even deeper.
May 14, 2016
Who would have thought that David Shields would direct and piece together such a satisfying exploration of one woman's sex life? The oddity of that woman being Shields's cousin goes away pretty quickly though, thanks to the candid stories and openness of Miss Matthews.
June 9, 2015
This was a raw look into this woman's private thoughts. Like listening to her stream-of-consciousness rant in one sitting. Or a therapy session. Enticing and mysterious and human.
August 11, 2023
This only took me an hour and twenty minutes to read. Even if it’s a quick read don’t let it fool you, it’s intense. Not sure what I was expecting but this wasn’t it. I feel like I have a lot of unpacking mentally to do. A lot of trauma fit into a short read.
I really want to include a part that stuck with me though:
“Being with a new person can be an exploration of yourself; it makes you new to you. It seems to me one of the difficulties with marriage—and one of the reasons I’m not sure I want to ever get married again is the way couples stop talking to each other the way they once did. Either because you don’t want to enter into a certain conversation or because it’s too much effort, so you end up being a couple that talks, but not really about anything too close to the bone, and all you get is a kind of distance. It’s like being in a long-distance relationship, in which you’re forging a separate life (maybe even a bit of a separate identity), but without the physical distance.”
I really want to include a part that stuck with me though:
“Being with a new person can be an exploration of yourself; it makes you new to you. It seems to me one of the difficulties with marriage—and one of the reasons I’m not sure I want to ever get married again is the way couples stop talking to each other the way they once did. Either because you don’t want to enter into a certain conversation or because it’s too much effort, so you end up being a couple that talks, but not really about anything too close to the bone, and all you get is a kind of distance. It’s like being in a long-distance relationship, in which you’re forging a separate life (maybe even a bit of a separate identity), but without the physical distance.”
June 14, 2017
Typically, sex in literature is not my thing. It tends to make me feel embarrassed for the author as I think about them sitting in their study or their local coffee shop thinking of a new way to describe the physical happenings when a woman becomes aroused. I read a lot, and there are only so many flower analogies one gay man can take. That said, this book is nearly entirely sex and I loved it. It is an sexual autobiography that feel more like a book about the human condition rather than her tender flower opening up to show her glistening and engorged stamen (see, fucking gross).
At any rate, I really loved this book and her honesty. Much of it -- if segmented correctly -- would make for great monologues.
At any rate, I really loved this book and her honesty. Much of it -- if segmented correctly -- would make for great monologues.
November 16, 2018
3.5 ⭐
This was a difficult read. You have to be prepared for some really uncomfortable stuff. This rawness of the book would be 4 or 5 stars, but I settled on 3.5 because I had a hard time with the format of the text. The broken up interview responses had me wondering what else was going on in Samantha's story. Perhaps that is what Shields was going for, but it didn't work for me.
Shields = 3 stars
Matthews = 5 stars
Regardless of the fact that the entirety of the text is Matthews' own words, I constantly felt the editing and presence of Shields. I read the book for Samantha's story, and wish that she had been the one to edit the hundreds of pages of interviews.
This was a difficult read. You have to be prepared for some really uncomfortable stuff. This rawness of the book would be 4 or 5 stars, but I settled on 3.5 because I had a hard time with the format of the text. The broken up interview responses had me wondering what else was going on in Samantha's story. Perhaps that is what Shields was going for, but it didn't work for me.
Shields = 3 stars
Matthews = 5 stars
Regardless of the fact that the entirety of the text is Matthews' own words, I constantly felt the editing and presence of Shields. I read the book for Samantha's story, and wish that she had been the one to edit the hundreds of pages of interviews.
May 18, 2022
The Thing You Do With Your Mouth appeared on not just top ten lists for 2010, but it also appeared on lists of books men should read. While I sympathize with women who have been abused by men, I felt that Samantha Matthews was, at least at a subconscious level, blaming herself for all the abuse she suffered. At least that's the way it comes across in the writing of David Shields.
Unfortunately, for the veracity of the book, Samantha Matthews sets up Shields as an unreliable narrator very early on. You can't help but think that everything is filtered by the male co-author.
Unfortunately, for the veracity of the book, Samantha Matthews sets up Shields as an unreliable narrator very early on. You can't help but think that everything is filtered by the male co-author.
August 5, 2023
Refreshing meditations on sex, and the power that we can both harness and lose to it. Samantha Matthews (a pseudonym for an American actress living in Barcelona) leads us through her personal musings, reflecting on her early childhood abuse and its subsequent ripples throughout her life. This is not a standard 'survivor' narrative; nowhere in Samantha's vocabulary can the words 'survivor,' or 'trigger,' be found. She refuses to pigeonhole herself as someone defined by their abusers. 'That Thing You Do With Your Mouth' shows us that nothing can define us unless we so choose it to.
March 13, 2023
David Shields is the most underrated writer in the history of books. I could read him until my eyes bleed. How he never broke through to a mass audience still spooks me. Although, I guess my thinking everyone should love Shields' work is a hint as to why I feel separated from most of the human race on a daily basis. Good for your depression, this one is.
September 13, 2017
I guess I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to take from this book that isn't in any other trauma-recovery narratives. And where is the author, in the editing from hundreds of pages of dialog down to 160? I was disappointed.
December 8, 2018
3.5 stars. This was a quick read and I enjoyed how it felt like Matthews was sitting with you telling you the story of her life, but it felt like it was missing something. Something more suitable for an oral tale than a written down sort of memoir.
June 21, 2018
Starts out with fire and buzzing but eventually settles into a narrative that is familiar.
June 11, 2020
This book resonates with those who can listen.
June 10, 2016
I had the pleasure of attending an interview with David Shields and receiving a signed copy of this book from him a few months after its publication. That interview set up this book for me, and intrigued me to read it--now I'm glad I did.
This is a memoir/autobiography-as-told-to David Shields by American actress Samantha Matthews (which, of course, is a pseudonym). I read it in just a few hours, because while short, it is that engaging. Having not read a lot of memoir, I was surprised but pleased by its form. There are no chapters, no sections, really no chronology or organization. The passages are short and at times read almost like prose-poetry. These passages are intercut with italicized dialogue, supposedly spoken by Samantha as she dubs Italian pornography into English (a job which the book heavily emphasizes).
This book is certainly about life after trauma. It's also about people, and how they treat us, how we treat them, how they disappoint us and are disappointed by us. At times the trauma narrative seems to take a back seat, but you can see how it's informing Matthews' life and decisions, years later. The final scene reminds me of an episode of Kimy Schmidt wherein Kimy says she enjoys watching horror movies because it's funny what other people find scary. That is the kind of spirit and hope that this book embodies, and for that, I absolutely recommend it.
This is a memoir/autobiography-as-told-to David Shields by American actress Samantha Matthews (which, of course, is a pseudonym). I read it in just a few hours, because while short, it is that engaging. Having not read a lot of memoir, I was surprised but pleased by its form. There are no chapters, no sections, really no chronology or organization. The passages are short and at times read almost like prose-poetry. These passages are intercut with italicized dialogue, supposedly spoken by Samantha as she dubs Italian pornography into English (a job which the book heavily emphasizes).
This book is certainly about life after trauma. It's also about people, and how they treat us, how we treat them, how they disappoint us and are disappointed by us. At times the trauma narrative seems to take a back seat, but you can see how it's informing Matthews' life and decisions, years later. The final scene reminds me of an episode of Kimy Schmidt wherein Kimy says she enjoys watching horror movies because it's funny what other people find scary. That is the kind of spirit and hope that this book embodies, and for that, I absolutely recommend it.
February 13, 2017
The honestly that rings through this book is amazing and heartbreaking.
August 5, 2016
so david shields interviewed samantha matthews, asking her questions initially about her job as a voice over actress for dubbed porn films. this interview stretched over 700 pages and became a narrative about abuse, intimacy, and the relationship between those two things and sex. shields edited this down to a tight 113 pages, forging a powerful series of vignettes that speak to the broader theme and sort of rotate between being funny, being said, and feeling like an expression of total truth. i feel like there's more to it though! it blew right by, leaving tons of questions that i have to imagine were answered in those 700 pages. But what you have is the memoir of an intimacy addict, wherein intimacy is defined through a confessional manner of relationship. "that thing you do with your mouth," is ultimately not sex in any traditional sense: it's talking.
May 2, 2016
Matthews is unapologetically intimate/open/honest about her life and the role sex has played.
This book is a disjointed view into a woman's life. As the reader, we are permitted glimpses but not full stories. Piecing the vignettes together make Matthews relatable as a sexual being while maintaining some of her privacy.
The stories that were shared with Shields have been thinned and curated into a slim but powerful book. It is elegant in how it depicts Matthews as an conscious, strong, curious, smart, sexual woman who is not innocent nor naïve. There are no judgements about her decisions or life choices. She is herself--a sexual being. Simple as that.
I highly recommend it, especially to my woman friends.
This book is a disjointed view into a woman's life. As the reader, we are permitted glimpses but not full stories. Piecing the vignettes together make Matthews relatable as a sexual being while maintaining some of her privacy.
The stories that were shared with Shields have been thinned and curated into a slim but powerful book. It is elegant in how it depicts Matthews as an conscious, strong, curious, smart, sexual woman who is not innocent nor naïve. There are no judgements about her decisions or life choices. She is herself--a sexual being. Simple as that.
I highly recommend it, especially to my woman friends.
July 24, 2023
Refreshing meditations on sex, and the power that we can both harness and lose to it. Samantha Matthews (a pseudonym for an American actress living in Barcelona) leads us through her personal musings, reflecting on her early childhood abuse and its subsequent ripples throughout her life. This is not a standard 'survivor' narrative; nowhere in Samantha's vocabulary can the words 'survivor,' or 'trigger,' be found. She refuses to pigeonhole herself as someone defined by their abusers. 'That Thing You Do With Your Mouth' shows us that nothing can define us unless we so choose it to.
September 19, 2024
What in the sweet home Alabama is going on here. David Shields is her COUSIN. Samantha was abused by her family, primarily her half brothers, sexually, verbally, and emotionally. David, HER COUSIN, encouraged her to tell her story, not though a thoughtful recollection of her life but through SEXUAL STORIES that he had Samantha email to HIM, that he would then edit and compile to make this disgustingly male gazey account of her life 🤢🤮 It’s voyeuristic, and he’s just another one of her abusers via this book as far as I (and many) are concerned.
June 3, 2016
Another McSweeney's subscription book. I read all the blurbs and thought it was going to be amazing. Instead, I feel sort of let down. Her story wasn't that interesting, it wasn't that horrific, it wasn't that touching, there weren't any aha! moments or learning experiences or growth. It felt very much like a dull person's diary. There's a reason most people don't publish those. It's not because they are private, it's because no one wants to read them.
Not recommended.
Not recommended.
June 24, 2015
The book was compelling to read. I had a hard time putting it down before bed. The feeling that I got from the book is that there is no difference between us as people, we are all the same. We are broken in our own ways even if its not abuse. I enjoyed the book.
Disclosure I received my copy from a Goodreads Giveaway.
Disclosure I received my copy from a Goodreads Giveaway.
September 11, 2016
Terrifyingly honest insight into sex life of an American actress. Samantha Matthews shares a lot on her personal history, insecurities and weird little crooks of psyché which make he happy and make her scared at the same time.
Difficult read. Completely worth it.
Difficult read. Completely worth it.
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June 22, 2015meh.
July 28, 2015
I'm a fan of Shields project to use the written world to illustrate reality. Reality literature may be the proper and necessary anecdote to reality TV.
April 29, 2016
I don't like using the word "raw" to describe something that isn't food related but it's the only thing that fits. Raw and honest.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews