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The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships

4.18  ·  Rating details ·  5,117 ratings  ·  553 reviews
Neil Strauss became famous to millions around the world as the author of The Game, a funny and slyly instructive account of how he transformed himself from a scrawny, insecure nerd into the ultra-confident, ultra-successful ‘pickup artist’ known as Style. The book jump-started the international ‘seduction community’, and made Strauss a household name—revered or notorious—a ...more
Published 2015 by Text Publishing
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Shake Speare He's so sincere. He's the sincerest person who ever lived. No way is his writing 'fluff'. It's a hard-hitting soul-baring expose of a man who has been…moreHe's so sincere. He's the sincerest person who ever lived. No way is his writing 'fluff'. It's a hard-hitting soul-baring expose of a man who has been to the top of the mountain and down in the valley of death. If you've ever wanted to know everything about Neil Strauss and didn't get enough from The Game, Everyone Loves You When You're Dead, and, uh, Rules of the Game, now you have another 500 pages ALL ABOUT STRAUSS! Boo-yah! He'll tell you everything about him, again, and also all these models he boinked and about famous people he knows personally and how he feels about it all. No detail is too insignificant or about Neil is left out. Truly THE story of our times.(less)
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Oct 20, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
So full disclosure: I was given a copy of The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships for review, I’ve hung out with Neil and I’m a former pick-up artist myself. So with all that in mind…

The Truth is an interesting book. It’s one that’s fairly easy to be cynical about. I mean, first Neil Strauss becomes famous* for writing a book that taught millions of dudes to try to use Svengali-esque techniques to get laid and now he’s writing about leaving it all behind and embracing mo
John Boettcher
Oct 22, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I suggest using protection while reading this book.

WOW! I don't even know where to START with this review. Needless to say I have never read anything more blunt and honest about such a controversial topic in my entire life. When the introduction to the book says, "They say a parent's love is unconditional. We'll see if that's true at the end of the book", you know it's going to be a whopper!

Neil Strauss, writer and author, tell the story of the last couple years of his life where he
Kevin Koskella
Oct 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This book had a deep and profound impact on me. I finished the 11 hour audio in 2 1/2 days.

I laughed and cried.

I'd probably have to write for days to articulate everything that was so amazing about this book. Neil's transformation within the book, and his vulnerability throughout were completely enlightening for me.

Coming from being one of the pioneers of the pickup movement, he found that he had to do some deep introspection, in the form of therapy and other methods, to
Kurt Russell
Mar 02, 2016 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This collection of words on paper is absolute garbage - A book about monogamy written by a man-baby who does not understand love. The word is literally used twice in the first 135 pages (I counted.) This fool wrote a book about love and doesn’t even understand the concept. Sex, lust, self-affirmation, trust, companionship… all these tangential issues get tossed about and explored, though the author’s vocabulary is incomplete and inexperienced. Would one trust a blind-man’s opinion of a painting? ...more

I have so many thoughts on this book.
So many, I’m actually not sure I'll have the patience and emotional stamina to go into all of them. But I’ll try because it is important.

This was a riveting read for me. So riveting at times that it was uncomfortable - in a very challenging, and therefore very good way. Some themes and passages really stressed me out, rattled me, made me very emotional.

I had to pace the audio-read to allow myself to digest, to reflect, to understand why this aff
Oct 25, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Oct 25, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It's a weird book. Strauss is a narcissistic lunatic, who runs all over the place trying to deal with himself. While this is extremely entertaining, it makes his conclusions feel like utter bull. Now he is all better. And I should believe this, why?

Some of his self deceptions border on utter madness. It never occurred to him that he wants to screw around, but that if he let's his gf screw around he is wracked with jealousy. When this happens to him - his jealousy - he is stunned. What? Why is t
Leo Robertson

Some interesting perspectives on relationships, intimacy and sex that were mostly better dealt with in Modern Romance.

It's so depressing to consider how many men there are doing shallow thing after shallow thing and derping all over the place, putting their needs not only before but at the expense of others, trying to figure out why they don't feel spiritually sated. I used to enjoy the empty look in their eyes when these men looked over my shoulder at parties to let me know I
Sean Goh
Oct 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book has a lot of things. It has honesty (in spades). It has sex (lots of it, with graphic descriptions). It has hurt aplenty. I'm aware that the author might have airbrushed the story to make it more coherent, but the downward spiral and subsequent long road to recovery made for a riveting read. A textbook on love avoidants and love addicts and all the assorted dysfunction that comes along for the ride.
Evidently, men have sex addictions, women have eating disorders. I suppo
Dec 09, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites, 2016
It's so rare to find a book that I binge on like it's the last food I'll ever get to taste again.
I love reading, but most books I read in a slow pace, savouring the words, taking my time to comprehend and make myself sure I am understanding the message behind the words.
This book, however, not only is easy to read, it's also incredibly addictive (just as Neil's behavior).

I'm a straight monogamous woman. I'm as predictable as it gets. Lately I've been question the nature of
Mar 22, 2017 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition

For a long time this author indulged himself in a debauched sexualized lifestyle, after hitting his middle age he realized his loss of youth equalled a diminished status and so he sorted himself out and settled down with a much younger woman.

His father was an extremely sick man and his mother was selfish and inadequate with no comprehension of appropriate mother child boundaries. Children absorb the consciousness of the adults in their environment.When a parent is emotionally tied up
Twerking To Beethoven
Yeah, well, this was ok-ish but not as good as I was expecting it to be. The first part was excellent, what followed was just boring. Also, Rick Rubin is a pretentious, pompous, overblown, obnoxious twat, and he's all over the book. Fuck him.

That said, I loved Neil Strauss's biographies - The Long Hard Road Out of Hell, The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale - as well as his nonfinction. I really enjoyed both The Game: Pe
Peter Knox
I read The Game when I was in college, single, and entering the 'real world' - it was a thrilling read and absolutely helped with my personal confidence. The Truth recognizes The Game for what it is, seeking short-term pleasures at the sacrifice of long-term happiness. The Truth is The Game all grown up, and as I read it now as a married man seven years into my best relationship I realize I've grown along with it.

Strauss is a master storyteller of the human guinea pig non-fiction nar
Mar 20, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2018-3-stars
When I was in college, I read The Game. I soon ended up in a relationship that to this day I regret being in. It's not always a good idea to immediately pick the first available option. No amount of sex can equate to trusting someone. Having more sex with the same person doesn't make you morally correct. It just means you're getting proficient at having sex with the same person.

I enjoyed reading this book the first time, but upon another read it can be summarized pretty easily into 3
Missy J

It is very rare that I review a book that none of my Goodreads friends have read or that they "want to read" or are "currently" reading this book. Nobody! Nobody! Not a single person! (Except you Tiffany, but you never update your reading list!) So I think this review may be special!

This book has been a very long and exhausting emotional roller-coaster! The author Neil Strauss is very brave to publish this book. Since releasing "The Game," a book about pickup artists, the author has found himself struggling w
George A
I loved The Game, The Dirt, and Emergency, so I was excited for Strauss's latest effort. (It's not often that I bother pre-ordering a book.) So maybe it's because my expectations were so high, but this one turned out to be a disappointment.

Neil Strauss has (or had) severe issues with commitment, trust, and fidelity, and wrote a book about his attempts to solve them. That's fine, except instead of realising how messed up he is, or how personal his issues are, he tries to portray his misadventures as some
Dec 24, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book was a bit too intense for me.
To be honest, it was just too carnal.
It ended well, and I guess it was interesting to read all the different stages the author went through, but I think whatever end or motive he had in mind could have been accomplished a lot more simply. But then again, it's a semi autobiography, so the guy is free to write what he damn well wants and not care if some people can't stomach it:))

One other thing I would like to add:
There is alrea
Oct 30, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I read the Game so I had to read the sequel to see how it ended. So here's the big question: Is he a total fraud or just the most messed up man in America?

The book is like 80% debauchery and then 20% banality. He has to engage in every single sexual arrangement to finally decide that "I guess marriage is good?" I mean, most people could reason that out without assembling a harem of hot messes and going to a naked swingers retreat? Or is the hussle to just write about all his sexual escapades bu
Angus McKeogh
Pretty good. Starts out funny and thought-provoking as you follow Strauss through his journey into multiple relationships and sex addiction therapy. There’s even a brief interlude where he tries living in a commune. However, as the book wore on it tended to get repetitive and the last quarter was slathered in cheese. Quasi-relationship therapy book masquerading as a story. Entertaining but I’d still say the best book by him that I’ve read is Emergency.
Nov 03, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The book is highly interesting and very engaging. It kept my interest the entire way through. As a story of an interesting life, it is certainly up there in my opinion and could be worth 5 stars for that alone.

As a useful guide to help others I found it less so.
There is some useful information earlier in the book while Neil was in therapy at the addition centre and then towards the end of the book there is a brief paragraph on various different therapies and resources the autho
Jan 18, 2016 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
3 1/2 stars. Everything this guy writes is well written, and there are lots of sections in here that I would consider quoting at people as I read it.

Strauss learned how to pick up women doing research for his book The Game (which is actually really good). This means that staying monogamous is much more of a choice for him than it is for most people, and it's a choice he doesn't want to make. Old fashioned and we're not biologically wired for it, etc.

But he's in love with a girl Ingr
Jan 20, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
My mind is blown. This book delivered way above expectation.

The Truth explores topics that we think about all the time when it comes to relationships. However, due to work, inertia, fear, or other excuses it's rare we're honest with ourselves, going out looking for the difficult answers. Most settle with mediocrity and compromise when it comes to relationships.

In this book, Strauss goes through intense relationship therapy, and experiments with all types of relationships until finding what wor
Oct 26, 2015 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I was interested in reading this since my gentleman friend was really excited to read it and he never gets excited about books. Neil Strauss, known player, turned romantic? The book kind of goes into Neil's doubts and fears about relationships, then rehab for sex addiction, then his flip to the complete other side where he gets into swinging/polygamy, then realizes it's all too much for him and wanting to find enlightenment and winning back the woman he was originally with.

While I re
Dustan Woodhouse
Audiobook version.

The length represented a solid commitment. It was worthwhile. There is something in this book and its diverse cast for everyone. And when you come across a sentence that shines a light in a dark place normally avoided - it is worth pausing and reflecting. Perhaps writing something down to come back to later yourself. It is entertaining, perhaps it is oversharing, certainly it is intriguing.

Thank you for putting yourself out there Neil. I have never read the game, being marrie
Jeff Finley
One of the BEST books on relationships I've ever read. I'm recently divorced after a 12 year monogamous relationship and have been reading a lot about polyamory so it was awesome to see Neil go out and try it for himself. I felt like it helped me heal so many limiting beliefs of my own about sex and love. I loved this book. I wrote a lengthy blog post about my feelings over at
Nov 14, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Wow. It really is one of those books you should read before getting thirty. Actually no matter your age the book makes you think on things that matter and to ask the right questions. One of the best reads of 2018 for me.
Tim Heile
Neil is a great doubt about that....and there is much to be learned from his journey. It would be easy to criticize the fact that in the end (spoiler alert) it doesn't work out for him in real life the way it's depicted in the end of the book, nonetheless I appreciate the seekers in this world.....the people who are brave enough to dig deep and do their best to be honest and deal with their issues. It's not easy work, and I'm not going to criticize him for trying. He's a hell of a s ...more
Francesco Portoso
Very useful to reflect about how our self-esteem, behavior, choices, and perspective in relationships are influenced by external factors that we are likely not aware of. The author goes through a long journey to understand what he really needs in a relationship to be fulfilled, with exhaustive analysis of each step. This leads to the importance of emotional health, usually lacking to certain extent in most of us. Fun to read, many lessons to be learned.
Aug 16, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is gross, selfish and beautiful. I found myself crying at times because of the open honesty and true healing undergone. This is not a fairytale, it is a story of someone hitting rock bottom and deciding they want to grow. My favorite quote, "They say love is blind, but it’s trauma that’s blind. Love sees what is." I see this book as it is.
Dec 02, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I found my way into the Neil Strauss world in a peculiar way. As a rock writer, he helped cowrite some of my favorite rock autobiographies of all time. I had assumed he was best known for his contribution to The Dirt, Motley Crue's infamous story. So when he did a book signing for his book "Emergency, This Book May Save Your Life," I decided to go to it not because I was particularly interested in his current book, but because I played in an all-girl Motley Crue tribute band and thought that it ...more
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Neil Strauss is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The Game, Rules of the Game, Emergency, and Everyone Loves You When You're Dead. He is also the coauthor of four other bestsellers--Jenna Jameson's How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, Mötley Crüe's The Dirt, and Marilyn Manson's The Long Hard Road Out of Hell, and Dave Navarro's Don't Try This at Home. He can be found at

His latest book, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships, w
“Most people seem to believe that if a relationship doesn't last until death, it's a failure. But the only relationship that's truly a failure is one that lasts longe than it should. The success of a relationship should be measured by it's depth, not by it's lenght.” 30 likes
“Lying is about controlling someone else’s reality, hoping that what they don’t know won’t hurt you.” 28 likes
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