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Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead
A groundbreaking women’s leadership expert and popular conference speaker gives women the practical skills to voice and implement the changes they want to see—in themselves and in the world
In her coaching and programs for women, Tara Mohr saw how women were "playing small" in their lives and careers, were frustrated by it, and wanted to "play bigger." She has devised a proven way for them to achieve their dreams by playing big from the inside out. Mohr’s work helping women play bigger has earned acclaim from the likes of Maria Shriver and Jillian Michaels, and has been featured on the Today show, CNN, and a host of other media outlets.
Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In gave many women new awareness about what kinds of changes they need to make to become more successful; yet most women need help implementing them. In the tradition of Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly , Playing Big provides real, practical tools to help women quiet self-doubt, identify their callings, “unhook” from praise and criticism, unlearn counterproductive good girl habits, and begin taking bold action.
While not all women aspire to end up in the corner office, every woman aspires to something. Playing Big fills a major gap among women’s career books; it isn’t just for corporate women. The book offers tools to help every woman play bigger—whether she’s an executive, community volunteer, artist, or stay-at-home mom.
Thousands of women across the country have been transformed by Mohr’s program, and now this book makes the ideas and practices available to everyone who is ready to play big.
In her coaching and programs for women, Tara Mohr saw how women were "playing small" in their lives and careers, were frustrated by it, and wanted to "play bigger." She has devised a proven way for them to achieve their dreams by playing big from the inside out. Mohr’s work helping women play bigger has earned acclaim from the likes of Maria Shriver and Jillian Michaels, and has been featured on the Today show, CNN, and a host of other media outlets.
Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In gave many women new awareness about what kinds of changes they need to make to become more successful; yet most women need help implementing them. In the tradition of Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly , Playing Big provides real, practical tools to help women quiet self-doubt, identify their callings, “unhook” from praise and criticism, unlearn counterproductive good girl habits, and begin taking bold action.
While not all women aspire to end up in the corner office, every woman aspires to something. Playing Big fills a major gap among women’s career books; it isn’t just for corporate women. The book offers tools to help every woman play bigger—whether she’s an executive, community volunteer, artist, or stay-at-home mom.
Thousands of women across the country have been transformed by Mohr’s program, and now this book makes the ideas and practices available to everyone who is ready to play big.
304 pages, Paperback
First published October 14, 2014
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January 17, 2015
Playing Big first came to my attention when it was published last year, in part due to its promotion in some feminist and quasi-feminist spaces I participate in online. But I wasn't sure enough of the book to spring for the hardcover, so put myself on the library holds list, and yes, it's taken this long for me to get a copy to read.
And boy, am I ever glad I didn't pay for it.
Mohr's heart is in the right place. She wanted to write a book that would help women overcome the internalization of the messages we receive from day one, that we're second-rate and should keep our mouths shut, so we can pursue our own big dreams and goals. And that is a wonderful goal. But the exectuion fell apart somewhat.
For one thing, it is pretty well a standard self-help book, with standard self-help advice: make friends with your inner critic, find and follow your inner mentor, step depending on praise or running from criticism, deal with fear, stop undermining yourself, figure out what your big dreams and callings are, chase them down to the ends of the earth. All fine, so far as they go, but not earth-shaking. I've read enough self-help books over the course of my life to know that making friends with your inner critic is the first piece of advice offered in almost every self-help book, and whether you call it your Inner Mentor or your North Star or your Peaceful Place or your Future Visualization or whatever you call it, that is always the second.
(Aside: I had three stages in my own self-help book journey: 1--I was young and proud and much too good for self-help books; 2--I was older and sad and decided maybe I could use help even if it came in the form of self-help books; 3--I am even older and either through the books I've already read or just the process of increasing curmudgeonization, I feel like I no longer need it. The Fuck-It Fairy has been and gone; now I figure if I do something and it turns out to be ridiculous and everyone laughs at me, well, at least I've brightened their days.)
For another, the feminist portion of the book seemed half-thought-out, at best. She acknowledges the reality of discrimination and sexism in shaping our world, our lives, and our personalities, but then doesn't really consider how that sexism will react to us in our new, fearless, uber-confident and self-mentored-up selves. If we are taught self-deprecation in order not to seem uppity, for example, it stands to reason that when we no longer self-deprecate, the world will not take it well. In my exeperience, one can absolutely expect a significant backlash to any move away from the feminine Norm of Nice.
Most of the research that forms the basis of the book is anecdotal and personal--of course, since this is self-help; one can't expect double-blind studies and statistical correlations. However, it is less that convincing, particularly when some of the anecdotes are of the "I listened to my inner voice, and it told me to send my first ever written piece to Forbes, and it got published!" variety.
The chapter on fear, though, angered me.
Mohr states that really there are two kinds of fear: pachad, which is the fear of things that don't actually exist, like monsters under the bed; and yirah, which is the fear felt when we confront the divine or other things larger than ourselves. Pachad we should ignore because what we fear isn't real. Yirah is telling us we should move forwards.
You may notice that there is a distinct lack of any discussion of the fear of real, present and immediate threats, like sabre-toothed tigers, abusive ex-husbands, or the imminent prospect of foreclosure on one's house. Both of the kinds of fear she does discuss mean, in her view, that you should move forwards towards your dream; but look, terrible things can happen and sometimes our fears are rational and realistic. The Universe is not a cosmic vending machine and we are not all guaranteed to have our dreams come true if we are nice people who want reasonable things. The worst can happen, and sometimes it does. Sometimes people fail, and it is irresponsible not to even discuss what to do when one's fears are realistic or even probable, and it boggles my mind that however many people read this manuscript and no one thought to wonder about the whole fear thing.
Here's my own personal advice on the fear thing:
As yourself three questions: What is the most likely outcome? What is the best case scenario? What is the worst case scenario?
If you can accept the most likely outcome, if the best case scenario is something you truly deeply want, and if the worst case scenario is something you can recover from, it's a good risk.
If the most likely outcome is not good enough, if the worst case scenario would crush you and you aren't sure you could recover, or if the best case scenario isn't amazingly fantastic, it's probably not worth it.
By all means, do some research or talk to people to figure out what those scenarios are; but just plunging ahead on the expectation that the Universe takes care of people with good intentions is silly and irresponsible.
~~~
There was a time in my life when a lot of this book's contents would have resonated with me and I would have dragged out my journal and earnestly completed all of the journaling prompts. If you are at that time in your life, I wish you good luck, god speed, and it almost certainly isn't as bad or as scary as you think. Keep breathing. You'll get there.
Somehow or other, I did; or at least, I think I did. I did more tagging of pages that I agreed with than tagging of insights--in fact, I didn't tag any insights. Yep, still scared of things; no, it doesn't stop me; the inner critic is still vicious but I just smile and nod at her and keep on plugging; praise and criticism don't tell me what to do; etc. Maybe I'm just a smug and self-satisfied brat. In any case, I'll be sending this back to the library, where it can hopefully inspire and console someone else.
And boy, am I ever glad I didn't pay for it.
Mohr's heart is in the right place. She wanted to write a book that would help women overcome the internalization of the messages we receive from day one, that we're second-rate and should keep our mouths shut, so we can pursue our own big dreams and goals. And that is a wonderful goal. But the exectuion fell apart somewhat.
For one thing, it is pretty well a standard self-help book, with standard self-help advice: make friends with your inner critic, find and follow your inner mentor, step depending on praise or running from criticism, deal with fear, stop undermining yourself, figure out what your big dreams and callings are, chase them down to the ends of the earth. All fine, so far as they go, but not earth-shaking. I've read enough self-help books over the course of my life to know that making friends with your inner critic is the first piece of advice offered in almost every self-help book, and whether you call it your Inner Mentor or your North Star or your Peaceful Place or your Future Visualization or whatever you call it, that is always the second.
(Aside: I had three stages in my own self-help book journey: 1--I was young and proud and much too good for self-help books; 2--I was older and sad and decided maybe I could use help even if it came in the form of self-help books; 3--I am even older and either through the books I've already read or just the process of increasing curmudgeonization, I feel like I no longer need it. The Fuck-It Fairy has been and gone; now I figure if I do something and it turns out to be ridiculous and everyone laughs at me, well, at least I've brightened their days.)
For another, the feminist portion of the book seemed half-thought-out, at best. She acknowledges the reality of discrimination and sexism in shaping our world, our lives, and our personalities, but then doesn't really consider how that sexism will react to us in our new, fearless, uber-confident and self-mentored-up selves. If we are taught self-deprecation in order not to seem uppity, for example, it stands to reason that when we no longer self-deprecate, the world will not take it well. In my exeperience, one can absolutely expect a significant backlash to any move away from the feminine Norm of Nice.
Most of the research that forms the basis of the book is anecdotal and personal--of course, since this is self-help; one can't expect double-blind studies and statistical correlations. However, it is less that convincing, particularly when some of the anecdotes are of the "I listened to my inner voice, and it told me to send my first ever written piece to Forbes, and it got published!" variety.
The chapter on fear, though, angered me.
Mohr states that really there are two kinds of fear: pachad, which is the fear of things that don't actually exist, like monsters under the bed; and yirah, which is the fear felt when we confront the divine or other things larger than ourselves. Pachad we should ignore because what we fear isn't real. Yirah is telling us we should move forwards.
You may notice that there is a distinct lack of any discussion of the fear of real, present and immediate threats, like sabre-toothed tigers, abusive ex-husbands, or the imminent prospect of foreclosure on one's house. Both of the kinds of fear she does discuss mean, in her view, that you should move forwards towards your dream; but look, terrible things can happen and sometimes our fears are rational and realistic. The Universe is not a cosmic vending machine and we are not all guaranteed to have our dreams come true if we are nice people who want reasonable things. The worst can happen, and sometimes it does. Sometimes people fail, and it is irresponsible not to even discuss what to do when one's fears are realistic or even probable, and it boggles my mind that however many people read this manuscript and no one thought to wonder about the whole fear thing.
Here's my own personal advice on the fear thing:
As yourself three questions: What is the most likely outcome? What is the best case scenario? What is the worst case scenario?
If you can accept the most likely outcome, if the best case scenario is something you truly deeply want, and if the worst case scenario is something you can recover from, it's a good risk.
If the most likely outcome is not good enough, if the worst case scenario would crush you and you aren't sure you could recover, or if the best case scenario isn't amazingly fantastic, it's probably not worth it.
By all means, do some research or talk to people to figure out what those scenarios are; but just plunging ahead on the expectation that the Universe takes care of people with good intentions is silly and irresponsible.
~~~
There was a time in my life when a lot of this book's contents would have resonated with me and I would have dragged out my journal and earnestly completed all of the journaling prompts. If you are at that time in your life, I wish you good luck, god speed, and it almost certainly isn't as bad or as scary as you think. Keep breathing. You'll get there.
Somehow or other, I did; or at least, I think I did. I did more tagging of pages that I agreed with than tagging of insights--in fact, I didn't tag any insights. Yep, still scared of things; no, it doesn't stop me; the inner critic is still vicious but I just smile and nod at her and keep on plugging; praise and criticism don't tell me what to do; etc. Maybe I'm just a smug and self-satisfied brat. In any case, I'll be sending this back to the library, where it can hopefully inspire and console someone else.
March 8, 2016
Tara Mohr is on a mission to help women speak up and influence the world for the better. She says her lifelong calling is ”to recognize where women’s voices are missing and do what I can, in my corner of the world, to help bring them in.”
As a child, Mohr advocated for an English curriculum that featured more women authors and female protagonists. Today, she’s running a global leadership program and sharing its central tenets with a wider audience through her book, “Playing Big.”
Heartening and pragmatic, the book reads as if Mohr is giving an extended pep talk to an imagined reader who has great promise but craves support. “You are that talented woman who doesn’t see how talented she is,” Mohr declares in the opening pages. “You are that fabulous, we-wish-she-was-speaking-up-more woman.”
The message is a variant of the encouragement she’s given to thousands of women through her coaching practice. The book is a distillation of the best material generated in that laboratory--those exercises and advice that women found to be most helpful in creating the lives and careers they sought.
Mohr’s Inner Critic 101 Training and toolkit of 15 ways to quiet fears are worth the cover price alone. Collectively, the many lists, steps and journal prompts fill the void left by other manifestos that tell women what to do without explaining the mechanics of how to do it. For every grand declaration (“One of the most important mental shifts a woman can make to support her playing big is to start thinking of criticism as part and parcel of doing important work”), Mohr offers multiple tips and tools to make it concrete.
What the book lacks, though, is much of the fire and heart that makes manifestos persuasive and memorable. You’ve got to bring your own motivation to this text because it lacks the spunk of Lisa Bloom calling out women for letting celebrity culture distract us from social ills, or the sharpness of Anne-Marie Slaughter listing the 1,001 ways women are thwarted in efforts to advance. Mohr’s tone is decidedly pleasant (not accusatory), in keeping with her stated belief that “tender friendship” is more potent than criticism. While I appreciate how her writing reflects her gentle ethos, I must admit that saltier approaches make for livelier reading.
In fairness, the subtitle is “practical wisdom for women who want to speak up, create, and lead.” It wasn’t designed to awaken latent aspirations. It’s for the woman who already wants to lean in and doesn’t know how.
That’s not to say the book is just for corporate climbers. The text’s frequent references to women of diverse ages, professions, circumstances and aspirations suggests that the advice is widely applicable and effective. Mohr references women from many walks of life who have practiced Playing Big. For example, there’s a Silicon Valley sales director who wants to launch a new line of business, a researcher emboldened to approach a rival lab about collaborating, a social worker who wants to transition into advocacy, and a literacy specialist who wants to open a camp. The women could not be more different, but they all benefitted from Mohr’s core set of tools for quieting criticism, communicating powerfully and taking productive action.
Mohr’s focus on inner work, versus the details of salary negotiations or other tactics with narrow applications, assures the book’s appeal to a wide range of women. And unlike many women’s empowerment books, these practices are not meant to be deployed in a grab for more power and prestige. Mohr’s stated goal is to help women move past self-doubt to create whatever’s meaningful for them. It could be launching a business or winning a promotion, but it could also be leading a community initiative or writing an op-ed for the paper. As Mohr puts it: “This is the very heart of playing bigger: having the vision of a more authentic, fully expressed, free-from-fear you and growing more and more into her, being pulled by this resonant vision rather than pushing to achieve [external] markers of success.”
One of the most compelling portions of the book describes a conversation she had with her childhood dance instructor, who told her that American women were liberated but not empowered, because they lacked imagination. Mohr understood that to mean that women weren’t fully claiming their freedoms because they lacked a “specific, vibrant, compelling vision” for doing so. In short, they were stuck recreating the status quo of playing small because it was modeled all around them and they hadn’t cultivated the inner capacity to create new, better alternatives. This is a compelling idea that bridges the personal and social dimensions of Playing Big. When more women do it, more will see it and do it too.
At several points in the book, Mohr tries to raise the stakes of women playing big beyond the realm of individual happiness to evoke global import. (“In the minds of women around the globe lie the seeds of the solutions to climate change, poverty, violence, corporate corruption.”) She writes that women who speak up are “naturally” change agents and revolutionaries because today’s public, professional and political lives are “not yet reflective of women’s voices or women’s ways of thinking, doing and working.” This is too much of a leap for me. Sarah Palin speaks up, but what she says is ignorant and divisive. The content and intent of speech matters more than the mere fact of it. The elevation of women’s voices is necessary but not sufficient for positive social change.
Although Mohr’s rallying cry fell flat for me, the book’s practical advice remains valuable. It succeeds in equipping ambitious women, if not rousing them.
As a child, Mohr advocated for an English curriculum that featured more women authors and female protagonists. Today, she’s running a global leadership program and sharing its central tenets with a wider audience through her book, “Playing Big.”
Heartening and pragmatic, the book reads as if Mohr is giving an extended pep talk to an imagined reader who has great promise but craves support. “You are that talented woman who doesn’t see how talented she is,” Mohr declares in the opening pages. “You are that fabulous, we-wish-she-was-speaking-up-more woman.”
The message is a variant of the encouragement she’s given to thousands of women through her coaching practice. The book is a distillation of the best material generated in that laboratory--those exercises and advice that women found to be most helpful in creating the lives and careers they sought.
Mohr’s Inner Critic 101 Training and toolkit of 15 ways to quiet fears are worth the cover price alone. Collectively, the many lists, steps and journal prompts fill the void left by other manifestos that tell women what to do without explaining the mechanics of how to do it. For every grand declaration (“One of the most important mental shifts a woman can make to support her playing big is to start thinking of criticism as part and parcel of doing important work”), Mohr offers multiple tips and tools to make it concrete.
What the book lacks, though, is much of the fire and heart that makes manifestos persuasive and memorable. You’ve got to bring your own motivation to this text because it lacks the spunk of Lisa Bloom calling out women for letting celebrity culture distract us from social ills, or the sharpness of Anne-Marie Slaughter listing the 1,001 ways women are thwarted in efforts to advance. Mohr’s tone is decidedly pleasant (not accusatory), in keeping with her stated belief that “tender friendship” is more potent than criticism. While I appreciate how her writing reflects her gentle ethos, I must admit that saltier approaches make for livelier reading.
In fairness, the subtitle is “practical wisdom for women who want to speak up, create, and lead.” It wasn’t designed to awaken latent aspirations. It’s for the woman who already wants to lean in and doesn’t know how.
That’s not to say the book is just for corporate climbers. The text’s frequent references to women of diverse ages, professions, circumstances and aspirations suggests that the advice is widely applicable and effective. Mohr references women from many walks of life who have practiced Playing Big. For example, there’s a Silicon Valley sales director who wants to launch a new line of business, a researcher emboldened to approach a rival lab about collaborating, a social worker who wants to transition into advocacy, and a literacy specialist who wants to open a camp. The women could not be more different, but they all benefitted from Mohr’s core set of tools for quieting criticism, communicating powerfully and taking productive action.
Mohr’s focus on inner work, versus the details of salary negotiations or other tactics with narrow applications, assures the book’s appeal to a wide range of women. And unlike many women’s empowerment books, these practices are not meant to be deployed in a grab for more power and prestige. Mohr’s stated goal is to help women move past self-doubt to create whatever’s meaningful for them. It could be launching a business or winning a promotion, but it could also be leading a community initiative or writing an op-ed for the paper. As Mohr puts it: “This is the very heart of playing bigger: having the vision of a more authentic, fully expressed, free-from-fear you and growing more and more into her, being pulled by this resonant vision rather than pushing to achieve [external] markers of success.”
One of the most compelling portions of the book describes a conversation she had with her childhood dance instructor, who told her that American women were liberated but not empowered, because they lacked imagination. Mohr understood that to mean that women weren’t fully claiming their freedoms because they lacked a “specific, vibrant, compelling vision” for doing so. In short, they were stuck recreating the status quo of playing small because it was modeled all around them and they hadn’t cultivated the inner capacity to create new, better alternatives. This is a compelling idea that bridges the personal and social dimensions of Playing Big. When more women do it, more will see it and do it too.
At several points in the book, Mohr tries to raise the stakes of women playing big beyond the realm of individual happiness to evoke global import. (“In the minds of women around the globe lie the seeds of the solutions to climate change, poverty, violence, corporate corruption.”) She writes that women who speak up are “naturally” change agents and revolutionaries because today’s public, professional and political lives are “not yet reflective of women’s voices or women’s ways of thinking, doing and working.” This is too much of a leap for me. Sarah Palin speaks up, but what she says is ignorant and divisive. The content and intent of speech matters more than the mere fact of it. The elevation of women’s voices is necessary but not sufficient for positive social change.
Although Mohr’s rallying cry fell flat for me, the book’s practical advice remains valuable. It succeeds in equipping ambitious women, if not rousing them.
June 17, 2015
This is one of the most important books I've read. I put its influence on my life next to the work of Brene Brown, Christiane Northrup, and Carol Dweck. These women have opened my eyes to parts of my life I had been ignoring. Tara Mohr did the same in relation to me finding my voice and the strength to listen to it. Every woman who has ever struggled with living the life they want needs to read this book. I'm grateful that at 37 I am starting to understand what it means to play big thanks to Tara's life work.
December 27, 2016
I really enjoyed this book. It gave me quite a few tips and tricks to apply in my daily life to think and play bigger. It helped me understand the value of my inner critic and gave me a different perspective of towards it. This books is definitely going into my To Be re-Read shelf.
August 12, 2014
So I'm just getting into the message of this book and it challenges me to think differently. At 58 years old that may be difficult because some things are so ingrained, but I will give it a try because I really want to be able to do more than what I am.
Thanks for a change of perspective.
Thanks for a change of perspective.
May 6, 2016
Didn't think I would enjoy this but it was fab! Now to do the exercises
July 24, 2023
A co-worker recommended this. I appreciate a lot of what Mohr said, and I appreciate she has a lot of professional experience coaching women to aspire for more. One exercise about picturing your future self was particularly helpful for clarifying some things about where I want to be heading. Otherwise, this is a lot of woo-woo feel-good personal experience where I prefer science and studies.
January 12, 2016
Overall, I really enjoyed this book. Is it a vastly different self help book than others on similar topics? Probably not, but there are several nuggets in this book that have stuck with me since I first read it a few months ago. There were a couple parts I skimmed over and basically read the highlights at the end of the chapter and feel I got the jist, but the majority were insightful and relevant.
In a nutshell, this book is for women who have great ideas, are smart and insightful, and could really make on impact in their community or in a business (their own or someone else's), but for some reason or another, just don't speak up or follow through, or are held back by a myriad of reasons, many of which she addresses (fear of criticism, fear of challenge, fear of life changes, own inner critic, etc).
I liked both her writing style and the straightforward organization of the book: clear, concise and to the point. Tara does not come across as bossy or arrogant, just a woman who found her gift, is aware of that in a humble yet competent way, and strives to help you find & ACT ON your own gifts. Like a knowledgeable friend/coach you are having coffee with who holds you accountable. And she offers quite a few useful tools to help you further in your action steps to playing bigger.
A few nuggets:
—Playing big happens when we listen to our inner mentor. She takes you through a visual on how to access her now and consistently to help guide you through your life and challenges. Rather than seeking external mentors as many women do, Tara stresses that every woman needs to able to access this inner mentor, and use her as a guide, not a destination. I think she goes farther than the standard advice of not listening to your inner-critic, and for whatever reason, seeing myself as a 65-year-old, wise, warm woman in a pretty strong visual sense has been very useful to me since I read it.
—Women who play big have one big differentiator: they leap. Leaping is not necessarily a bold or big action (ie., writing a book or taking 6 months to design a fancy website), it is the small, connective steps that help you reach a goal (writing one small blog post today, or set up a free website in 15 minutes). In other words, sometimes women get stuck in planning out all the details before taking any action, but Mohr instead suggests acting on small steps that help propel actions and goals into motion.
—The chapter I skimmed over was the one on fears, and the "new old way of looking that them" where she discusses "pachad" and "yirah" (Hebrew Bible terms) fears and understanding which one may be holding you back. She outlines several scenarios at the end of the chapter that provide illustrations on both and I felt this summed up the chapter well, and understanding which fear(s) might be holding us back.
—The chapter on how women dumb down their speech in emails and person was useful too, because I always used the words “just” and “actually” and she shows how ineffective these words are when she contrasts them with much stronger communication. This chapter also addresses that women who can manage to balance competence *and* warmth are typically seen as more successful and effective than women who are not regarded as warm, even if they are highly competent.
Overall, I do recommend this book and find enough in it to be worthwhile and useful.
****
An addendum:: Tara ends the book with a chapter on how she is balancing new motherhood with following your calling and "playing big" because of course, no matter what you expect will await you on the other side of having a child, it simply changes you and changes how you interact with your career and passions. (She wrote the book when she was pregnant). As a mom and business owner, I seek a tribe of supportive women who understand the balancing act, the ever-evolving journey and seasons of change and how we embrace that in our lives, while still managing to achieve personal ambitions, if we choose to. What changes most after a child is the ego, and Tara addressed that in her New Years update::
"My friend Lianne Raymond sees the chapters of our lives in terms of metaphors of organic growth – times for planting seeds, times for putting down roots, times for branching out and bearing fruit. I sense that the past decade or so for me was one of branching out and bearing fruit. And now is root time. Rooting down. I feel soft, heavy, humble.
I do not anticipate that my work will become less important to me. But it has already become less important to my ego. Hunger for accolades and achievement seems to be slipping away. The interest in what’s already here is greater, for me, than it’s ever been. And the call to be more courageous in my work is strong.”
In a nutshell, this book is for women who have great ideas, are smart and insightful, and could really make on impact in their community or in a business (their own or someone else's), but for some reason or another, just don't speak up or follow through, or are held back by a myriad of reasons, many of which she addresses (fear of criticism, fear of challenge, fear of life changes, own inner critic, etc).
I liked both her writing style and the straightforward organization of the book: clear, concise and to the point. Tara does not come across as bossy or arrogant, just a woman who found her gift, is aware of that in a humble yet competent way, and strives to help you find & ACT ON your own gifts. Like a knowledgeable friend/coach you are having coffee with who holds you accountable. And she offers quite a few useful tools to help you further in your action steps to playing bigger.
A few nuggets:
—Playing big happens when we listen to our inner mentor. She takes you through a visual on how to access her now and consistently to help guide you through your life and challenges. Rather than seeking external mentors as many women do, Tara stresses that every woman needs to able to access this inner mentor, and use her as a guide, not a destination. I think she goes farther than the standard advice of not listening to your inner-critic, and for whatever reason, seeing myself as a 65-year-old, wise, warm woman in a pretty strong visual sense has been very useful to me since I read it.
—Women who play big have one big differentiator: they leap. Leaping is not necessarily a bold or big action (ie., writing a book or taking 6 months to design a fancy website), it is the small, connective steps that help you reach a goal (writing one small blog post today, or set up a free website in 15 minutes). In other words, sometimes women get stuck in planning out all the details before taking any action, but Mohr instead suggests acting on small steps that help propel actions and goals into motion.
—The chapter I skimmed over was the one on fears, and the "new old way of looking that them" where she discusses "pachad" and "yirah" (Hebrew Bible terms) fears and understanding which one may be holding you back. She outlines several scenarios at the end of the chapter that provide illustrations on both and I felt this summed up the chapter well, and understanding which fear(s) might be holding us back.
—The chapter on how women dumb down their speech in emails and person was useful too, because I always used the words “just” and “actually” and she shows how ineffective these words are when she contrasts them with much stronger communication. This chapter also addresses that women who can manage to balance competence *and* warmth are typically seen as more successful and effective than women who are not regarded as warm, even if they are highly competent.
Overall, I do recommend this book and find enough in it to be worthwhile and useful.
****
An addendum:: Tara ends the book with a chapter on how she is balancing new motherhood with following your calling and "playing big" because of course, no matter what you expect will await you on the other side of having a child, it simply changes you and changes how you interact with your career and passions. (She wrote the book when she was pregnant). As a mom and business owner, I seek a tribe of supportive women who understand the balancing act, the ever-evolving journey and seasons of change and how we embrace that in our lives, while still managing to achieve personal ambitions, if we choose to. What changes most after a child is the ego, and Tara addressed that in her New Years update::
"My friend Lianne Raymond sees the chapters of our lives in terms of metaphors of organic growth – times for planting seeds, times for putting down roots, times for branching out and bearing fruit. I sense that the past decade or so for me was one of branching out and bearing fruit. And now is root time. Rooting down. I feel soft, heavy, humble.
I do not anticipate that my work will become less important to me. But it has already become less important to my ego. Hunger for accolades and achievement seems to be slipping away. The interest in what’s already here is greater, for me, than it’s ever been. And the call to be more courageous in my work is strong.”
June 9, 2023
I'm on the cusp of a career change and this book helped with some of the fears I think a lot of people have when starting something new (e.g. "What if I'm awful at this new job that I have no reason to expect to be awful at, and in fact, the people I'll be working with/who hired me demonstrably believe I have the capacity to excel at it?").
August 3, 2018
I was a bit suspicious of this book - it came highly recommended by someone I respect, but still: I've seen SO MANY books about What Holds Women Back And What To Do About It that I worried there'd be nothing new to say.
TBH, there is quite a lot of stuff we've all heard before here. But hey, that's because so much of it is true and important. I don't mind being reminded of stuff that's true and important. And a few of the stories did feel a bit staged.
But there was also some stuff that felt fresh (and also true and important). I found the chapter on why girls winning at education fails to translate into women winning at work particularly powerful:
'What if girls are doing so well in school because school requires many of the same abilities and behaviors as being a “good girl”: respect for and obedience to authority, careful rule-following, people-pleasing, and succeeding in an externally imposed framework?... And what if because of the nature of school—the skills we develop there but also the abilities we lose—all that academic training translates into their success at midlevels in organizations, but it will not translate to their increased numbers as senior leaders, change makers, and innovators?'
That rings true to me, but I'd never articulated it like that before.
The no-BS, practical tips on communication are brilliant too: I catch myself 'hedging' all the time, and now I better understand why, and what impact it has, and how to stop doing it.
I also took the time to do (some of) the exercises, and was genuinely moved by the meeting with my inner mentor, the older, wiser me. It's not a particularly original concept, I know, but that doesn't make it any less powerful or helpful.
In summary, definitely worth a read if you're a woman with a sense that you're holding yourself back, but also if you're a man managing women: it might help you more aware of what's really going on when they ask a question in a meeting instead of putting forward an idea, or don't go for promotion when you thought they might.
TBH, there is quite a lot of stuff we've all heard before here. But hey, that's because so much of it is true and important. I don't mind being reminded of stuff that's true and important. And a few of the stories did feel a bit staged.
But there was also some stuff that felt fresh (and also true and important). I found the chapter on why girls winning at education fails to translate into women winning at work particularly powerful:
'What if girls are doing so well in school because school requires many of the same abilities and behaviors as being a “good girl”: respect for and obedience to authority, careful rule-following, people-pleasing, and succeeding in an externally imposed framework?... And what if because of the nature of school—the skills we develop there but also the abilities we lose—all that academic training translates into their success at midlevels in organizations, but it will not translate to their increased numbers as senior leaders, change makers, and innovators?'
That rings true to me, but I'd never articulated it like that before.
The no-BS, practical tips on communication are brilliant too: I catch myself 'hedging' all the time, and now I better understand why, and what impact it has, and how to stop doing it.
I also took the time to do (some of) the exercises, and was genuinely moved by the meeting with my inner mentor, the older, wiser me. It's not a particularly original concept, I know, but that doesn't make it any less powerful or helpful.
In summary, definitely worth a read if you're a woman with a sense that you're holding yourself back, but also if you're a man managing women: it might help you more aware of what's really going on when they ask a question in a meeting instead of putting forward an idea, or don't go for promotion when you thought they might.
April 11, 2015
Fantastic.
December 19, 2015
Amazing book! One of the best I have read in awhile.
March 6, 2016
Ladies, read this. It's time.
September 9, 2023
HIGHLIGHTS:
1. Hear the voice of self-doubt without taking directions from it.
- The inner critic protects us from risks.
2. Inner-Mentor: seek your own wisdom and guidance instead of waiting for someone else
- American women are liberated but not empowered.
3. We fear non-specific outcomes.
- Get curious about what the underlying fear is.
4. Unhook ourselves from praise and criticism.
- Fear of criticism makes us play smaller.
- Hooked on praise can make women self-sabotage.
- Why are our thoughts so loaded with what other people think of us?
- Feedback tells us about the person giving the feedback. Feedback is not about me, it tells us if we are reaching the people we are intending to reach.
- Playing big will get criticism.
- Criticism is not a signal of a problem. It means you are doing important work.
- The higher up you go, the more you have to improvise and think on your feet.
- Women are taught to be a “good student”, works against them later in careers (Over-preparation).
- Access what you already know. Be the source of ideas.
5. DEFINE THE TYPE OF FEAR: Pachad vs. Yirah
- Pachad is “projected or imagined fear,” the “fear whose objects are imagined.”
-Overreactive, irrational, lizard brain fear:
- The fear of horrible rejection that will destroy us or the fear that we will simply combust if we step out of our comfort zones.
- Yirah “the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to, inhabiting a larger space than we are used to inhabiting.
- The feeling we feel when we are on sacred ground.
6. HIDING:
- This before that “but first I must”
- “Designing at the Whiteboard” - over-preparation alone and not including the people who will be involved.
- Over-complicating and talking myself out of getting started. Simple is good enough. Endless polishing. “Done” is better than over-polishing.
- Side-stepping your own perspective to gather other people’s.
- Over-educate: “I better get a Ph.D. in that” before I’m qualified to move forward.
7. LEAP:
- Leap to learn.
- Learn by doing.
- Share your gifts with the world NOW. You have two weeks. Gets your adrenaline flowing. Puts you in contact with the people you will be impacting.
8. HEDGES: Undermining Words
- "just" - apologetic. I have a concern about...
- "Actually" - I'm surprised I have a strong position
- Kinda / Almost - not asserting ideas
- Sorry, but
- "A little bit" - downgrading the time requirement
- Disclaimers - our thinking is progress. "Let's do some brainstorming about this."
- "Does that make sense?" - I believe I'm confused. --> How did that land for you?
- Uptalk: Valley girl - Raising pitch at top of the statement.
- Fast-talking: Use power statements. Pace and pauses.
- Using a question instead of a statement. Make a clear point of view with a statement.
Warm & Competent: Women have to monitor this more than men. Perceived lack of warmth. Keep demonstrating warmth and increase competence over time.
- Bids for connection.
- Self-Check when writing emails. Catch and fix.
9. Practitioner of Topic vs. official expert.
Cross-trainer: expert in one field to apply it to another field.
10. LET IT BE EASY:
- Choosing the right goal
- Practical support that makes the change doable.
- Drivers vs. "self-discipline" that we think we are required to have to be consistent.
- Add more self-love, then design habits.
- Don't set the wrong goal ("should"). Gift goal - magnetic pull because they are what we truly desire.
- Find Allies & Champions: Accountability puts you in motion.
RESOURCE
taramohr.com
1. Hear the voice of self-doubt without taking directions from it.
- The inner critic protects us from risks.
2. Inner-Mentor: seek your own wisdom and guidance instead of waiting for someone else
- American women are liberated but not empowered.
3. We fear non-specific outcomes.
- Get curious about what the underlying fear is.
4. Unhook ourselves from praise and criticism.
- Fear of criticism makes us play smaller.
- Hooked on praise can make women self-sabotage.
- Why are our thoughts so loaded with what other people think of us?
- Feedback tells us about the person giving the feedback. Feedback is not about me, it tells us if we are reaching the people we are intending to reach.
- Playing big will get criticism.
- Criticism is not a signal of a problem. It means you are doing important work.
- The higher up you go, the more you have to improvise and think on your feet.
- Women are taught to be a “good student”, works against them later in careers (Over-preparation).
- Access what you already know. Be the source of ideas.
5. DEFINE THE TYPE OF FEAR: Pachad vs. Yirah
- Pachad is “projected or imagined fear,” the “fear whose objects are imagined.”
-Overreactive, irrational, lizard brain fear:
- The fear of horrible rejection that will destroy us or the fear that we will simply combust if we step out of our comfort zones.
- Yirah “the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to, inhabiting a larger space than we are used to inhabiting.
- The feeling we feel when we are on sacred ground.
6. HIDING:
- This before that “but first I must”
- “Designing at the Whiteboard” - over-preparation alone and not including the people who will be involved.
- Over-complicating and talking myself out of getting started. Simple is good enough. Endless polishing. “Done” is better than over-polishing.
- Side-stepping your own perspective to gather other people’s.
- Over-educate: “I better get a Ph.D. in that” before I’m qualified to move forward.
7. LEAP:
- Leap to learn.
- Learn by doing.
- Share your gifts with the world NOW. You have two weeks. Gets your adrenaline flowing. Puts you in contact with the people you will be impacting.
8. HEDGES: Undermining Words
- "just" - apologetic. I have a concern about...
- "Actually" - I'm surprised I have a strong position
- Kinda / Almost - not asserting ideas
- Sorry, but
- "A little bit" - downgrading the time requirement
- Disclaimers - our thinking is progress. "Let's do some brainstorming about this."
- "Does that make sense?" - I believe I'm confused. --> How did that land for you?
- Uptalk: Valley girl - Raising pitch at top of the statement.
- Fast-talking: Use power statements. Pace and pauses.
- Using a question instead of a statement. Make a clear point of view with a statement.
Warm & Competent: Women have to monitor this more than men. Perceived lack of warmth. Keep demonstrating warmth and increase competence over time.
- Bids for connection.
- Self-Check when writing emails. Catch and fix.
9. Practitioner of Topic vs. official expert.
Cross-trainer: expert in one field to apply it to another field.
10. LET IT BE EASY:
- Choosing the right goal
- Practical support that makes the change doable.
- Drivers vs. "self-discipline" that we think we are required to have to be consistent.
- Add more self-love, then design habits.
- Don't set the wrong goal ("should"). Gift goal - magnetic pull because they are what we truly desire.
- Find Allies & Champions: Accountability puts you in motion.
RESOURCE
taramohr.com
May 22, 2017
I am not a big fan of books like Ms Mohr’s to be honest. I will read them on occasion but they are not top priority on my list. However, I have to say, I am glad I had to read this for work since I write book reviews. I am on the fence as there are some parts I enjoyed and some parts I rolled my eyes at.
Ms Mohr’s approach to the book to help women overcome being treated like second-rate citizens is a fantastic ambition. In some parts of the book, she succeeded, in other parts, the execution failed.
It felt like most self-help books, only in this case, she angled it specifically for females. There was not much that made me feel like I am reading something new. This made me roll my eyes a little as I am not a big fan of self-help books per se. however, personal bias aside, I do know of many women who would benefit from this book especially if they are at a loss as to how to deal with being a woman in the 21st century workplace.
I think the reason why I am on the fence with this book is due to the fact that there are parts in here that seems a little airy-fairy. I thought I was the only one who felt this way but I noticed a few other reviewers felt the same too.
Let me elaborate. One of the reasons I am not a big fan of these self-help books is that at times, some of the chapters tend to be rather… a tad idealistic. I do not have much patience for books that tell you that if you think positive thoughts, you will be able to achieve whatever you set your mind to. On one hand, there is some truth to that as positivity helps, but on the other hand, it takes more than positive thoughts to bring you success, there is hard work, good contacts (sometimes), and a little luck too. There were some anecdotes in the book that were like that and made me cringe a little as I read it.
The positives is that not all the book will make you cringe. There are other anecdotes that were quite relevant and helpful, especially if you are a woman who is facing some personal challenges at the moment. Her style of reading is fluid and I did quite enjoy that.
Overall, a decent enough read if you love those self-help type books targeted at women. If you are looking for a good read, there are many others out there.
Ms Mohr’s approach to the book to help women overcome being treated like second-rate citizens is a fantastic ambition. In some parts of the book, she succeeded, in other parts, the execution failed.
It felt like most self-help books, only in this case, she angled it specifically for females. There was not much that made me feel like I am reading something new. This made me roll my eyes a little as I am not a big fan of self-help books per se. however, personal bias aside, I do know of many women who would benefit from this book especially if they are at a loss as to how to deal with being a woman in the 21st century workplace.
I think the reason why I am on the fence with this book is due to the fact that there are parts in here that seems a little airy-fairy. I thought I was the only one who felt this way but I noticed a few other reviewers felt the same too.
Let me elaborate. One of the reasons I am not a big fan of these self-help books is that at times, some of the chapters tend to be rather… a tad idealistic. I do not have much patience for books that tell you that if you think positive thoughts, you will be able to achieve whatever you set your mind to. On one hand, there is some truth to that as positivity helps, but on the other hand, it takes more than positive thoughts to bring you success, there is hard work, good contacts (sometimes), and a little luck too. There were some anecdotes in the book that were like that and made me cringe a little as I read it.
The positives is that not all the book will make you cringe. There are other anecdotes that were quite relevant and helpful, especially if you are a woman who is facing some personal challenges at the moment. Her style of reading is fluid and I did quite enjoy that.
Overall, a decent enough read if you love those self-help type books targeted at women. If you are looking for a good read, there are many others out there.
December 3, 2017
I had a very open mind about the book before I stared reading it. Very disappointed, here are a number of points why I would never recommend it to anyone:
1. The Title
The author says that women "play low" in their professional lifes, and should "play big". Why do I have to "play" to be big? Am I, as I am not enough?
2. Fake Personas
The author claims that every time you are in doubt, it's not really you but your "inner critic". You should give this critic a face, name, voice etc. And when you need advice you should not turn to yourself but to your "mentor". Again a different persona that lives in your mind and gives you advice. It has a face, name and a favorite type of food.
There is so much wrong with this idea I don't know where to start. Do men have to have their inner critics and mentors living in their mind in order to succeed? No. Why do women need that? I think it's also a crazy thing to have besides your own self two more people living inside your mind. I really thoght that the author was joking. It also takes attention from your real thoughts away and makes other (fake) people responsible for your actions. It's very redicilous.
3. Ten ways to X
I believe there is no easy solution for a complicated problem. Well, the author claims always there is only 3 ways to do this and 7 ways to do that. Many of the points are very poor described. There is also no studies mentioned that prove her claims and techniques.
4. Style of writing
She mentioned that she has read so many spiritual and psychological books. This book is a mix of those many times cheap written books which only purpose is to sell.
In a nutshell: it's a fast food restaurant experience reading it.
1. The Title
The author says that women "play low" in their professional lifes, and should "play big". Why do I have to "play" to be big? Am I, as I am not enough?
2. Fake Personas
The author claims that every time you are in doubt, it's not really you but your "inner critic". You should give this critic a face, name, voice etc. And when you need advice you should not turn to yourself but to your "mentor". Again a different persona that lives in your mind and gives you advice. It has a face, name and a favorite type of food.
There is so much wrong with this idea I don't know where to start. Do men have to have their inner critics and mentors living in their mind in order to succeed? No. Why do women need that? I think it's also a crazy thing to have besides your own self two more people living inside your mind. I really thoght that the author was joking. It also takes attention from your real thoughts away and makes other (fake) people responsible for your actions. It's very redicilous.
3. Ten ways to X
I believe there is no easy solution for a complicated problem. Well, the author claims always there is only 3 ways to do this and 7 ways to do that. Many of the points are very poor described. There is also no studies mentioned that prove her claims and techniques.
4. Style of writing
She mentioned that she has read so many spiritual and psychological books. This book is a mix of those many times cheap written books which only purpose is to sell.
In a nutshell: it's a fast food restaurant experience reading it.
April 20, 2016
3,5/5 - Na mijn valse start met de kurkdroge Nederlandse vertaling (alleszins, de inleiding was te droog, verder ben ik niet geraakt), ben ik naar de audioboek versie van dit boek beginnen luisteren. Dat ging onmiddellijk een stuk vlotter. Tara Mohr heeft een aangename stem om naar te luisteren en brengt haar boek heel erg vlot.
Playing Big verbaasde me op een positieve manier, de tekst was op een intelligente manier geschreven (ok, ik beken, ik heb het over het algemeen niet op zelfhulpboeken) en er zaten niet te veel spirituele stukjes in het boek. Tara brengt een hele resem aan redenen aan waarom vrouwen het lastig hebben om aan Playing Big te doen, die ze ook allemaal onderbouwd met anecdotes of verwijzingen naar wetenschappelijke studies. Ze geeft daarna evenveel manieren en ideeën om wel Big te spelen.
Of ik ook daadwerkelijk iets ga toepassen uit dit boek is wel nog de vraag, want (nadeel aan een audioboek) ik had soms een beetje moeite met alle ideeën en tips op een rijtje te zetten. Ik heb ook geen van de schrijf- of denkoefeningen uit het boek gedaan (opnieuw nadeel van een audioboek), maar als ik die ooit toch nog wil doen dan heel ik de Nederlandstalige versie wel weer uit de bib. :)
Playing Big verbaasde me op een positieve manier, de tekst was op een intelligente manier geschreven (ok, ik beken, ik heb het over het algemeen niet op zelfhulpboeken) en er zaten niet te veel spirituele stukjes in het boek. Tara brengt een hele resem aan redenen aan waarom vrouwen het lastig hebben om aan Playing Big te doen, die ze ook allemaal onderbouwd met anecdotes of verwijzingen naar wetenschappelijke studies. Ze geeft daarna evenveel manieren en ideeën om wel Big te spelen.
Of ik ook daadwerkelijk iets ga toepassen uit dit boek is wel nog de vraag, want (nadeel aan een audioboek) ik had soms een beetje moeite met alle ideeën en tips op een rijtje te zetten. Ik heb ook geen van de schrijf- of denkoefeningen uit het boek gedaan (opnieuw nadeel van een audioboek), maar als ik die ooit toch nog wil doen dan heel ik de Nederlandstalige versie wel weer uit de bib. :)
August 4, 2014
I won this in a Good Reads First Reads drawing!
3.5 stars. With a bit of editing or tightening, I think the final book would be almost 4 stars. The introduction is almost 30 pages, and the chapter lengths vary widely; some are over 30 pages, some are barely fifteen.
Despite lots of reading and hearing about motivational and leadership types, I'd never heard of Tara Mohr until I won this book. She seems to be a life coach with a perennially optimistic perspective. The book is about teaching women to make an impact in their workplace or volunteer place or community or family. One can do this by "playing big," or overcoming the internal barriers and external forces that hold one back from success. Her book is really a how-to guide to achieve these ends, to stop negative talk, let go of fear, and get over destructive ways of thinking. She encourages readers to keep a journal and provides questions to enhance self-awareness. Some of her exercises seem silly and didn't work for me (visualizing my inner mentor), but others are helpful or thought-provoking, at least.
3.5 stars. With a bit of editing or tightening, I think the final book would be almost 4 stars. The introduction is almost 30 pages, and the chapter lengths vary widely; some are over 30 pages, some are barely fifteen.
Despite lots of reading and hearing about motivational and leadership types, I'd never heard of Tara Mohr until I won this book. She seems to be a life coach with a perennially optimistic perspective. The book is about teaching women to make an impact in their workplace or volunteer place or community or family. One can do this by "playing big," or overcoming the internal barriers and external forces that hold one back from success. Her book is really a how-to guide to achieve these ends, to stop negative talk, let go of fear, and get over destructive ways of thinking. She encourages readers to keep a journal and provides questions to enhance self-awareness. Some of her exercises seem silly and didn't work for me (visualizing my inner mentor), but others are helpful or thought-provoking, at least.
August 22, 2016
Amazing.
"The past was a world defined, designed and led by men. The future - we hope - will be a world defined, designed and led by women and men. The present is the transition. Those of us born into this time were born into a unique and remarkable historical moment, a moment of in-between.
...
You don't have to intend to be a change agent. When a woman truly begins to play big according to what that means to her, she becomes one, naturally."
My sister had told me that she loved Tara Mohr and thought that every woman could hugely benefit from reading this book. I agree on both counts.
I used it as a mini-course to understand my current personal, professional and spiritual obstacles and how to grow beyond them. The Inner Mentor chapter alone is worth its weight in gold. Tara is all about bringing compassion to the process rather than whipping yourself onward, which only exhausts and alienates your real self in the long run.
So many phenomenal tools in here to evolve into personal freedom and a better, more effective human being. Love is an infinite force.
<3
"The past was a world defined, designed and led by men. The future - we hope - will be a world defined, designed and led by women and men. The present is the transition. Those of us born into this time were born into a unique and remarkable historical moment, a moment of in-between.
...
You don't have to intend to be a change agent. When a woman truly begins to play big according to what that means to her, she becomes one, naturally."
My sister had told me that she loved Tara Mohr and thought that every woman could hugely benefit from reading this book. I agree on both counts.
I used it as a mini-course to understand my current personal, professional and spiritual obstacles and how to grow beyond them. The Inner Mentor chapter alone is worth its weight in gold. Tara is all about bringing compassion to the process rather than whipping yourself onward, which only exhausts and alienates your real self in the long run.
So many phenomenal tools in here to evolve into personal freedom and a better, more effective human being. Love is an infinite force.
<3
November 27, 2016
Hmm.
There are so many parts of this book that I have highlighted.
Every seeker has a medium, something OUT in the universe that speaks with the seeker. For me, books have been that medium. Every time, I hit a stonewall, I find books. They speak to me. It feels that the writer wrote the book for me, only for me. So I can learn and move to the next part of the journey.
It feels such an intimate one-on-one conversation that I can't believe the writer had any other reader in mind while writing the book but me.
PLAYING BIG was one such book for me this year.
Especially the chapter on the Calling.
I needed to know. Just know what I already know.
There are so many parts of this book that I have highlighted.
Every seeker has a medium, something OUT in the universe that speaks with the seeker. For me, books have been that medium. Every time, I hit a stonewall, I find books. They speak to me. It feels that the writer wrote the book for me, only for me. So I can learn and move to the next part of the journey.
It feels such an intimate one-on-one conversation that I can't believe the writer had any other reader in mind while writing the book but me.
PLAYING BIG was one such book for me this year.
Especially the chapter on the Calling.
I needed to know. Just know what I already know.
November 4, 2014
received a copy of this book for free through Goodreads First Reads- I had never heard of Tara Mohr until I won this book
The introduction is a little long, but if you are thinking of making a career move/change, want to make a bigger impact around you OR if you have a major undertaking/project that you are bogged down on getting started or are stuck in progressing due to talking yourself out of it this is the book for you. Make sure to get out your highlighters & note book, because you will want them with this how-to book
The introduction is a little long, but if you are thinking of making a career move/change, want to make a bigger impact around you OR if you have a major undertaking/project that you are bogged down on getting started or are stuck in progressing due to talking yourself out of it this is the book for you. Make sure to get out your highlighters & note book, because you will want them with this how-to book
February 4, 2015
I received an advance reader copy from goodreads first reads. There were a few chapters that really resonated with me and gave me some pratical tips to start playing big now. There was a section on how we diminish ourselves in our speech and emails and this information was really helpful to me. The section on our inner mentor and what kind of clothes they wear etc was a little too airy fairy for my taste. Overall there are some good tidbits for women in leadership positions.
December 23, 2016
This was another life changing book for me. Some concepts are not new, but the examples Tara gives from her practice and real-life stories are what allow you to see where you need to change.
She doesn't sugar coat it either - you'll always have critics, even more when you start to "play big."
This is the book I wish I had when I graduated college. Met my goal to finish it before the end of the year so that in 2017 I can focus on the concepts and track my growth!
She doesn't sugar coat it either - you'll always have critics, even more when you start to "play big."
This is the book I wish I had when I graduated college. Met my goal to finish it before the end of the year so that in 2017 I can focus on the concepts and track my growth!
November 10, 2014
A wonderful book for women of any age. Tara is like a loving friend, seeing more in you than you see in yourself. She encourages women to follow their callings (which she defines differently than most) and to share their talents with the world. An enjoyable read with journaling questions at the end of every chapter to help the reader to absorb the lessons.
July 5, 2017
This book has really changed the way that I think about success, my place in the world, and questioning what has made me successful in the past and might not work now that I'm wanting to play big in my career and my life as an adult. I hope she writes a similar book for men in the future - there is too much goodness here that applies to both genders.
June 12, 2016
I LOVE this book. It made me become aware of what is keeping me from doing what I really want to do and how I can change it. I bet there is even a chance for men to get deep insights out of it. A must read for every woman who wants to step aside from their doubts.
December 12, 2016
As far as self-help for women in the workplace goes, this is a really useful book! I don't normally pick these up but I enjoyed Tara's presentation at my company. There were definitely parts that made me go, 'hmmm...' and re-evaluate how I see/do things. Recommended for guys too.
June 10, 2017
"playing big is about learning how to use your voice to change systems. it's about refocusing your attention on your longings and dreams, and playing big is going for them." really enjoyed the authors genuine motivation for writing this. the Inner Mentor exercise was eye opening
October 13, 2017
While there are good nuggets of advice, much of this I've heard before (and better written). It is almost as though this is the way she speaks and presents, which doesn't always translate well into writing.
October 28, 2017
Loved this book. Packed full of useful thoughts and suggestions. The distinction between two kinds of fear, the inner mentor meditation, the email checklist - these have all been immediately useful. I'm sure I'll continue to refer to it.
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