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3.84  ·  Rating details ·  69 ratings  ·  9 reviews
Some people are destined for greatness. They could create fantastic pieces of art to be discussed throughout the ages, they could invest something which furthers mankind, they could even help solve world hunger or make important steps towards World Peace for everyone. These people could be your friends, they could be your neighbours. They could even be the person you unwit ...more
Kindle Edition, 34 pages
Published April 2nd 2015 by Amazon Media
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Average rating 3.84  · 
Rating details
 ·  69 ratings  ·  9 reviews

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Paul Nelson
Ted by Matt Shaw If you're a fan of Matt Shaw and you've read Rotting Dead F*cks then you'll probably remember good old Ted facing and shagging a zombie. This is  a short story all about Ted hence the title, on audio it's a shade under an hour and is narrated by Chris Barnes who does a lot of Matt's and Iain Rob Wright's work.
Ted is, for want of a better word, a complete twat, psychotic, racist, sexist and every other 'ist you can think of. Buckle up and step into the mind of a man you probably
Jennifer Pelfrey
Apr 14, 2015 rated it really liked it
En"gross"ing short story!

Interesting short story with the ever unlovable Ted! Ted has little to no respect for women or hookers and he is a racist.
Ted, with his unhappy life, calls up a hooker. When she arrives at his house he is SHOCKED! This is not the girl he wanted/ordered. Things have changed for Ted and will soon change for the worse for the hooker.
Be prepared to learn some new terms about sex, and most are just not pretty!
Sep 16, 2015 rated it it was amazing
ABR's original TED audiobook review and many others can be found at Audiobook Reviewer.

Queue the music.

Come and listen to a story about a man named Ted,
A crazy sociopath, would rather see everyone dead,
And then one day something happened that did not compute,
This happened while he was having sex with a prostitute.

Call girl that is, hooker, street walker.

The above little jingle pretty much sums up the story of Ted.

Matt Shaw once again delivers a disturbing tale, that is up there on the vulgarity.
Shadow Girl
Nov 08, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: need-reviews
Since the books in the White Cover Collection are short stories, I can’t go into a lot of detail without fear of ruining them for you. It’s not just about giving away the ending – there is so much awesome jam packed into each short that I don’t want to give much of anything away!!

I do know that Matt has verified my reservation in Hell with this story!
Yeah, Ted is a piece of human garbage, but some of his attempts at humor, (and some of his attempts at humanity), had me giggling like a kid who is
Apr 04, 2015 added it
Considering I'm not a fan of black comedy (no pun intended!), I surprised myself by actually enjoying this little story. I know Matt was pretty worried about the racist nature of the story but I found it only mild in its offensive content. In fact, I found it humorous in parts rather than shocking. Ted comes across as an Alf Garnet character, almost scarily endearing....

As the blurb says, this is a very short story. A little bit offensive but if you've read anything else by Matt Shaw, you should
Jan 30, 2016 rated it really liked it
This was a fun short read (and when I say 'fun' this needs to be taken in the right context). I'm not really sure the racism added anything to the story but the author is on safe ground writing about an encounter with a prostitute (okay. "Hooker" if you are not from the UK.) A good ending too.
great insight,taught me loads of new moves to try on the wife
Kelly Rickard
Sep 24, 2016 rated it it was amazing
A short dark and twisted story about a vile man. A racist psychopath who's date for the night is the blonde white lady he ordered. Read on to discover what happens
Cathy Blumenauer
Apr 22, 2015 rated it really liked it
Too short
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MATT SHAW was born, quite by accident (his mother tripped, he shot out) September 30th 1980 in Winchester hospital where he was immediately placed on the baby ward and EBay. Some twelve years later (wandering the corridors of the hospital and playing with road kill when he was on day release), the listing closed and he remained unsold, he was booted out of the hospital to start his life a

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