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Heuer Lost And Found

4.75  ·  Rating details ·  40 ratings  ·  26 reviews
Unrepentant cooze hound lawyer Jürgen Heuer dies suddenly and unexpectedly in his litter-strewn home. Undiscovered, he rages against God, Nazis, deep fryers, and analogous women who disappoint him.

At last found, he is delivered to Weibigand Brothers Funeral Home, a ramshackle establishment peopled with above average eccentrics, including boozy Enid, a former girlfriend wi
Kindle Edition, 213 pages
Published April 23rd 2015 by Summer Solstice
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A.B. Funkhauser Hi Margaret and thanks for your question. The door is physical and metaphorical. Here on earth, it's the back door in the second basement of the funer…moreHi Margaret and thanks for your question. The door is physical and metaphorical. Here on earth, it's the back door in the second basement of the funeral home. It is accessed by funeral home staff and flower delivery staff, so it is a limited access point to the business. It opens into a world where funeral home staff do their work away from the public--embalming,the primary task among them. For Heuer, who is not alive in the book, the door has a very different meaning: it marks the divide between the physical world of the funeral home--where he is trapped--and the world that waits for him, whatever that may be.(less)
A.B. Funkhauser Paperbacks can be ordered on April 23. I believe a hard cover version will be available at some point, but I'm not sure when.…morePaperbacks can be ordered on April 23. I believe a hard cover version will be available at some point, but I'm not sure when.(less)

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Rachael Stapleton
Mar 28, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Ms. A.B Funkhauser is a brilliant and wacky writer incapable of dumbing things down and amen for that. Her distinctive voice tells an intriguing story that mixes moral conflicts with dark humor, not too mention booze and cigarettes.

The book’s title refers to the lead character, a lawyer who dies in his home. As the body decomposes, the man’s spirit experiences euphoria, rage, disappointment and eventually hope. One of my favourite characters Enid, an employee of the Weibigand Brothers Funeral H
Apr 06, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Heuer Lost and Found is a quirky and irreverent story about a man who dies and finds his spirit trapped in a funeral home with an ex-lover who happens to be the mortician. He has to come to terms with his hoarding, degenerate past before he can escape. I love the character of Heuer, the Lawyer. He’s not a loveable character, but he’s as fascinating as watching a bug under a microscope. I found myself rooting for the guy, which is always the mark of a strong character. The characterization is ric ...more
Daisy Kourkoulakos
Mar 31, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Heuer’s difficult relationship with women and his mother seems to be a focal here, but so are references to friendship, loneliness and feelings of inadequacy. The irony that it’s an old girlfriend with a ton of problems taking care of him as his funeral director, is startling. The author depicts the flaws and human nature in both characters. This book is an incredible read that does not allow the audience to "fall asleep" at any time. A MUST READ! ...more
Kasey Balko
Apr 05, 2015 rated it really liked it
I didn’t know what to make of this at first, and then I was half way through it, and then I was at the end...but I didn't want it to be over. Funkhauser made me learn new words like “aegis” and then I was laughing too hard to notice that I was actually at a sad part. Like Breaking Bad’s Walter White, Heuer is not a likeable man, but I somehow found myself rooting for him. A strange, complicated character. I have to look at him again. I hope there'll be more where this came from! ...more
Linda Sienkiewicz
Apr 23, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This is not your typical ghost story, especially for dear Heuer, recently deceased. Such a puzzle of a man. His past affair with the funeral director, Enid, is also a puzzle, delivered in bits and pieces that kept me turning pages. Details about the funeral home business and what goes into preparing a body for viewing are fascinating, particularly a man who is unfound for days after his death. I never imagined the craziness that goes on behind closed doors, or what might be in the basement, eith ...more
A.B. Funkhauser
Mar 28, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Fellow author and international best seller Bernard Foong graciously penned this review, but was unable to upload it on Goodreads due to technical problems. At his request, I (very happily) reproduce it here. Thank you, friend.

"Author A. B. Funkhauser strikes a macabre cord with her book "Heuer Lost and Found". Written from the perspective of an undertaker, she gives her readers a ringside seat at the Weibigand Mortuary where Enid, a middle aged woman with a taste for scotch, arrives on a Monday
Suzanne Fairbrass Stacey
Mar 30, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Not really horror or occult, this book mixes soul searching with some pretty off the wall humor. When a lawyer dies in his home with his spirit body for company, he must pass the time reminiscing with the walls while learning to move objects with his mind. Once his body’s found by a sexy coroner he madly wants to date, he finds himself stuck at a funeral home with a bunch of odd strangers including an ex girlfriend who likes to drink. What does a guy have to do to get on with his after life? Sca ...more
Mar 28, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This beautifully written, quirky, sad, but also often humorous story of Heuer and Enid - one living and the other a spirit stuck between this world and the next - gives us a glimpse into the fascinating, closed world of the funeral director. Years after their relationship ended, the past catches up to both of them in the most unlikely place - the funeral home. Fresh writing filled with rich vocabulary, this story features a vivid cast of colourful, living-breathing characters. This one will keep ...more
Diana Harrison
Apr 10, 2015 rated it it was amazing
The macabre black comedy Heuer Lost And Found, written by A.B. Funkhauser, is definitely a different sort of book! Her protagonist Heuer dies but his spirit hangs around as he waits for his body to be collected a week later from his dirty, litter strewn flat. In the funeral home, ready to be embalmed, he finds out it's an ex-girlfriend, now alcoholic, who will do the process. Add to that a talking rat...
You will enjoy this book with its mixture of horror and humour.
Malay A. Upadhyay
Mar 27, 2015 rated it it was amazing
There’s a sense of detachment to be found in people who deal with the deceased. Life, though, is not without its upheavals as long as one remains within its bounds. So how do you deal with the application of a spicy story to such resigned protagonists? Enter, Ms. Funkhauser with her masterpiece.
To put things in perspective, let us consider a phone call to a funeral house early in the story. It begins with the line: “This is Werner Heuer, Herr Forsythe. My wife and I have need of your services to
Shyla Wolff
Apr 22, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I was given this ebook in return for an honest opinion.

I started out a bit confused in reading this. Unlike some who can read for large blocks of time, I couldn’t. The timing threw me off such that I had to go back several times. That said, this book was unique and chock full of character depth.
It definitely makes you have second thoughts about funeral homes, and reminds us – we are all human.
Again – the entire approach to this dilemma of Heuer being stuck between planes was well thought out and
Dawn-Jane Dusomos-Guay
Apr 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Multifaceted characters layered into a modern plot with plenty of sub cues based in the past. Heuer and Enid in their own way are similar so it makes sense that they’d come together again even if the circumstances are strange. Though spirit and funeral director never meet face to face, their simpatico is strong and their conversations are heartbreaking and real. The staff at the funeral parlour are good for laughs! Charlie, Dougie and poor old Robert the intern, who has to put up with a lot, bre ...more
Maighread MacKay
Mar 28, 2015 rated it really liked it
Heuer, the lawyer, is not a likeable character, but by the end of the book you are rooting for him to succeed in being "found". The other players in this macabre drama are a hodge-podge of oddballs that bring to life a few days of goings on at Weibigand's funeral home. The story is character driven and the reader is drawn in by the various foibles that make up different aspects of human personality. A.B. funkhauser has done an excellent job of showing the realities of the funeral business and it ...more
Jennifer Branch
Mar 31, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Heuer Lost and Found was not necessarily my cup of tea. With that said, I had trouble putting the book down. I was completely drawn in and needed to know what was going to happen next. I had trouble understanding why Heuer was the way he was, until I 'met' his parents. If you are looking for a page turner, I definitely recommend this book.
Marissa Campbell
Mar 27, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Mesmerizing, gritty, hilarious, and unlike anything you've ever read before. I could not put this book down. Seriously, you will not be disappointed. ...more
Carl R.
Jan 18, 2016 rated it really liked it
The world A.B. Funkhauser draws us into in Heuer, Lost and Found isn't a familiar one for ninety percent of us. Make that ninety-five. Even if you're a devotee of Six Feet Under, you'll step into strange territory when you enter the confines of the Weibigand Brothers Funeral home and the mind of Jurgen Heuer.

To describe almost anything about the plot here is to act the spoiler, but I do have to mention that Heuer is dead, though we don't realize that for a page or two, and that he's watching his
Rocky Rochford
Mar 28, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Having received my copy of the work personally from the author, the first thing I have to mention, is that although not my usual cup of tea, but Heuer Lost and Found, is without a doubt a great story to get into and stay captivated by.

The setting may seem a little unorthodox and considered slightly macabre, but that is what made this work. This is a story that to me, felt like it abides by its own set rules and the pace is brilliantly maintained by the ever wordy A.B. Funkhauser. Even with an
John DeBoer
Jun 17, 2016 rated it it was amazing
At the heart of A.B. Funkhauser's story is a narcissistic misanthrope/sociopath whose only dealings with his fellow human beings have been self-centered. But when he dies, he's forced to examine the life he's led. At the end, he still still denies - somewhat - that his life had been LOST, of no worthy account, but he does come to an understanding of sorts and FINDS a version of the truth, including that the start of his sojourn among the living started put as a lie.

The story is told on several l
Frederick Crook
Apr 19, 2016 rated it really liked it
This is a witty, fun look into the functions and disfunctions of a funeral home on a busy weekend. All of the characters, including the main character, a lawyer by the name of Jurgen Heuer, are flawed and not completely likeable. Heuer falls dead and wanders about in a ghostly state, trying to interact with the people of the funeral home.

Overall, this is a fun read, though I did lose track of what was happening every once in a while and had to back up. This is a very enjoyable read and I'm looki
Annette Vettese
Had difficulty reading the last chapter through tears...
A wonderful story of love lost and found only to be lost again, forever. It awakens that forbidden love from our past when we were too young or perhaps to naïve...
This is not just a love story... taking place in a funeral home the spirit of Heuer, Enid's first love, lingering between here and the hereafter, dredging memories of what once was and what could have been.
Would love to see the movie version in the near future.
Jul 13, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Funkhauser's story is quirky, original, sometimes gross and often funny; I honestly couldn't put this book down until it was finished. (At times, the book reminded me of Six Feet Under). I loved the characters, as warped as they were, they were so endearing, especially Enid. A fun read -- looking forward to more from this author. ...more
Shaun Baines
May 08, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Chocked full of dark humour, Funkhauser takes us behind the scenes of a frenetic funeral parlour. It's a unique setting - certainly one I've never come across before - and the detailed descriptions of the procedures therein highlight an in depth knowledge of this area. Add to this a troupe of complicated, colourful characters and you're set for a bumpy ride.

It's an ensemble piece, but Heuer takes centre stage as the corpse. His spirit lingers around the parlour, drawn to one of the employees who
Truant Memphis
Feb 22, 2021 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone.
Shelves: favorites
My review is also on Amazon under the title's ebook page:

Deft prose and richly drawn characters highlight dark comedy, and Funkhauser's knowledge of the industry she illuminates is gripping, adding immersive depth to the world she creates inside the funeral parlor. All of this coupled with gonzo humor provides an often hilarious, often squeamish page turner. An excellent novel more than worthy of your time.
Sally Moore
Apr 07, 2015 rated it really liked it
I really enjoyed this quirky, funny, dark book. The POVs are deep, intimate, off-kilter and unpredictable. The setting is one many authors back away from, but what happens to our life after our death and its effect on the people we touch is a poignant subject from which to mine a story, and A.B. Funkhauser does this masterfully. I had some issues with the two female characters who at times seemed too alike, especially in voice, and I wonder if they could have been more effectively rendered as on ...more
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A.B. Funkhauser is a funeral director, classic car nut and wildlife enthusiast living in Ontario, Canada. Like most funeral directors, she is governed by a strong sense of altruism fueled by the belief that life chooses us and we not it.

“Were it not for the calling, I would have just as likely remained an office assistant shuffling files around, and would have been happy doing so.”

Life had another

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