enGendered: God’s Gift of Gender Difference in Relationship

by Sam A. Andreades

enGendered celebrates the God-given distinctions between a man and a woman. It concludes that the more distinction is embraced, the closer a man and woman become. Thus gender, rightly understood, is a tool for intimacy. Written in a compassionate tone and winsome style, the volume speaks to Christians who want to know what the Bible says about gender differences and why. This theology of gender is also of value for people who struggle with same-sex attraction but want to follow Christ.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian, Marriage

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 1, 2015

Reviews

[Jeremy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I rated this book a 1-star not because it was poorly written or because I disagreed with perspectives given in the book, but because of the author's treatment of certain topics covered. Below are three examples:

1. In discussing women's roles, the author describes Deborah the judge as "assisting Barak in accomplishing his mission." While there are compelling biblical arguments for the full spectrum of stances on gender roles, some are obviously more troublesome for any given stance than others. For Andreades to bring up a character in Scripture who held the highest office in Israel and describe her leadership as assisting a subordinate male who was reporting to her and under her God-given authority displays either intellectual dishonesty or an unwillingness to seriously engage Scripture objectively rather than taking one's stance and shoehorning all of Scripture into it.

2. In discussing same sex attraction, Andreades cites one study and then makes a sweeping statement that basically anyone with same sex attraction can change their desires. This is an incredibly harmful generalization for those who experience same sex attraction, do not want it, and have not found any success in dismissing those desires (I am not speaking to acting on desires, simply having them). The fact that the author of the study referenced, Dr. Mark Yarhouse, would almost certainly disagree with Andreades claim on this point makes this all the more concerning (See Homosexuality and the Christian by Yarhouse).

3. Again, in discussing same sex attraction, Andreades, in a chapter of less than five pages, tells a story of a heterosexual marriage between people who have experienced same sex attraction and uses that story to insinuate, if not outright say, that everyone with same sex attraction should just get hitched to someone of the opposite sex and things will get better, though it will probably be hard.

I can understand people having any of these perspectives, but to write a book about them and handle the topics so cursorily seems irresponsible and dangerous. Some of the material in this book was handled very thoroughly and with expertise, but some with just the opposite.

[Rick Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review to follow.

[Isaac · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was asked by a close family member to read this so I did. Completely discounts the experiences of many LGBTQ people (one of the main studies references deals with interviews of men who were previously in homosexual relationships but are now in heterosexual marriages, but there are no interviews with trans or non-binary people, lesbian or gay people who have left heterosexual relationships, bisexual people, or people with a different cultural framework for gender (e.g. many indigenous cultures)). Thoroughly unconvincing for me, and I expect it will be for anyone except those who are looking for confirmation of their current beliefs.

[Cassiejoan · Rating 5 out of 5]

**Disclaimer: My dad published this, so yeah, I could be biased**
This was not only more readable than I thought it would be, but very enlightening. Though I have heard a lot of "church talk" about gender, I have not heard it discussed as Andreades does, causing me to think through my views on Biblical gender. Josh and I enjoyed discussing this one together and I'm glad we have hard copies to refer to. Definitely one that I will have to revisit and will shape our discussions with our kids.

[Eric · Rating 5 out of 5]

The writer succeeds in his goal of writing a "theology of Gender." It is thoroughly faithful to scripture and enlarged my thinking on the richness of the Image of God as expressed in Masculinity and Femininity. I valuable book, especially in the midst of the moral devolution we are in. Illustrations of God's grace and power in lives are throughout the book. It will make you think and plant you more deeply in that which is good and right and true.

[Catherine Lowe · Rating 4 out of 5]

A much needed and thought provoking book that encourages conversations about gender (masculine and feminine versus male and female) from a biblical perspective. I really liked how he differentiated the role of gender in close relationships including marriage, friendship, family, and church family from other relationships that are more superficial or business in nature. The author provided an outline and scripture references of "gender theology" at the end that I see being useful.

[Sarah Knox · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of good stuff. I learned lots. Highly recommend it!

[Matt Chan · Rating 1 out of 5]

UGH. I read this book because pastor recommended it. I tried to keep an open mind but GOOD LORD. If you are stuck in the 50s or something and convinced that we should double down on gender norms, then I guess this book is for you. I'm actually quite puzzle on the purpose of this book, because it's audience seem to be people who already agreed with the author. It seemed to me that this is just another futile exercise in preaching to the choir. More annoyingly, the author hid behind a facade of pseudo scientific method and jargon to deliver some half-baked and unconvincing conclusions about gender. I don't think there are any problems of using anecdotes to support your arguments IF they were presented as such. Calling a "research project" where he interviewed a handful (single digits, it seems) of men who "turned straight" after meeting their current wife. Somehow just of few data points from these interviews convinced the author that ALL "gay" men can be "turned straight". Evidently the author have either never heard of bisexual men , or worse, chose to completely erase their existence. There are so many, frankly, offensive insinuation that same-sex couples can NEVER have a relationship of the same quality of a heterosexual couple, and seem to imply that all failing same-sex relationships were due to the lack of fulfillment from the "complementary gender." Another thing that really irked me was how many verses from the scripture the author took, pretty much out of historical and literary context, and performed some amazing mental gymnastics to justify his conclusions. It was almost like every verse in the Bible, according to the author, points to some kind of polemic about the "necessity" of gender distinctions (what he really meant is gender norms, but he tries to say that's not what he meant, but I can't see how it WASN'T what he meant.)

Anyway, sort of a waste of time of a book; if you already believe in strict gender norm and also the inferiority of same-sex relationships, then by all means read this for some healthy dose of confirmation bias. Otherwise, there are much better use of your time.

[Bob · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books I've read in quite awhile. The concepts of gender and sexuality are a huge part of our culture today, but they are difficult to understand. It's a very confusing topic: why are there even genders? do they matter? If so, why and how? This book does a brilliant job of answering these in thoughtful, deep ways that will challenge you. It changed my thinking in quite a few ways, and especially considering the confusion in our culture today I think it would be profitable reading for anyone, at any place in life. It answered questions I didn't know I had, or hadn't ever had to face myself yet.

[Seth Channell · Rating 4 out of 5]

The most helpful discussion was on 1 Corinthians 11 (head coverings). Interesting point that in one scenario Paul challenges the cultural distinctness of his day and on another occasion he calls the church to conform to the cultural distinctness of his day. Important point for thinking through our current involvement with our society.

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book. Explores the theme of gender as a relationship between man and woman in marriage, family and church. Great biblical principles to help root important male-female relationships in scripture, rather than traditional or modern cultural practices.