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Glenn Hates Books Vol. 1: Brutally Honest Book Reviews

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3.91  ·  Rating details ·  66 ratings  ·  60 reviews
WARNING: There's a lot of unnecessary profanity in this book.
Why? Because... Because REASONS!


This book contains over 100 brutally honest book reviews. These laugh-out-loud reviews are offensive in every way possible. There's so much unnecessary profanity, it's crazy. But it's not the profanity or offensiveness that makes this book worth reading. It's the honesty.

You wil
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Kindle Edition, 229 pages
Published March 2nd 2015
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3.91  · 
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 ·  66 ratings  ·  60 reviews


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Glenn Conley
Mar 09, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  (Review from the author)
Shelves: reviewed
Okay, so this guy hates books. I get that. I fucking hate books too. But why’d he go and write a book about it? Isn’t that the most hypocritical thing to do? I mean, it seems like this guy literally wants to put a bunch of books in a pile and burn ‘em. Great. So, is he gonna include his book as well, in this pile of books he’s gonna burn? I doubt it. Fucking hypocrite.

Apparently, this book is a collection of book reviews from this asshole’s blog. It’s 229 pages of horseshit, that’s already on hi
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John Rachel
Mar 23, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Anyone who has had a lobotomy.
Recommended to John by: Glenn Conley, of course!
Glenn Conley is a genius. But more to the point, he is a very sick man. He gives sado-masochism a bad name, as if it weren't already a dreaded psychopathology.

I mean, this guy subjects himself to some of the worst books ever written, just to provide himself fodder for his insane, diabolical, vituperative, expletive-laced rants. Why he masochistically reads such garbage can only be explained by his rampant and incurable sadism - his need to mock and humiliate authors who unwittingly or unwillingl
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C.D. Gorri
Mar 20, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Where to begin?

First, I don't think Glenn hates books. I think Glenn has a deep and abiding love for books and all things literary. That said, this collection of book reviews from Glenn is as outrageous as it is funny. He is brutally honest in his opinions and uses very colorful language to express them. I didn't expect anything less!
He's like the Daniel Tosh or Ray William Johnson of the literary world. (Sorry if I have offended you, it was a compliment, really and truly!)

Second, if you are ea
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Zircon
Apr 11, 2015 rated it did not like it
One Trick Pony

To quote the author, a book has a beginning, middle, and an end. Glenn’s so called book, Glenn Hates Books, is simply a grouping of some of his reviews into five categories: 1 star thru 5 stars with no beginning, middle or end. Not much of a book according to his own standards as he wrote in a few of his reviews.

Glenn is a one trick Pony. He uses filthy words in his reviews to apparently appeal to a younger audience. I guess the vulgarity may be funny to a 14 year old, but even wit
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Nick Iuppa
Mar 30, 2015 rated it really liked it
This is a book written by a guy you could meet in a bar on any night, and you very well might end up beating the shit out of him… or vice versa. His title tells us that he hates books. He reminds us repeatedly that he’s a jackass. But he does something that I would never do (besides telling every one that I hate books and that I’m a jackass). He FINISHES the books that he doesn’t like. Then he gives each one (I fucking hate this book) star, and goes on a rant about what’s wrong with them. That w ...more
Thomas
May 30, 2015 rated it it was ok
Glenn clearly does not hate books. In fact, the sheer number of books he reads and the passion with which his reviews are written indicate a deep appreciation for books. The downfall for Glenn is that Howard Stern was and is already the King of Shock. The reviews exhibited in Mr. Conley's book are sorted by ratings, yet all contain the same smarmy, obnoxious, foul-mouthed content from cover to cover, starting with poor ratings and concluding with excellent ratings. The comedic effect of such tra ...more
Mehreen Ahmed
Mar 22, 2015 rated it did not like it
Mehreen Ahmed"s review

Really? Glenn Conley's, Glenn hates books---is a deviant,and humorless read of reviews. Ranging from 1 to 5 star reviews, this is a compilation of how he writes those reviews. What language should a one star attract and what sort of books according Glenn should attract a one star. While I hated his one star reviews, I loved his five stars. Riddled with many profanities, the 1 star reviews ignored completely the human faces sitting behind those books, engaged in the creative
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Laura
Mar 21, 2015 rated it did not like it
Shelves: indie-books, blogs
I would recommend this book to exactly zero people. It's so wildly offensive--and sickening--that people probably shouldn't even be exposed to it.

Glenn emailed me a few months ago, asking for a copy of my novel to review, and in turn asked me to review his recently-published work. I diligently started reading, only to bump across him saying how a 9-year-old boy deserved to be raped. What the actual fuck. Can we just stop there? Not only did he condone rape, but rape of a child.

I emailed Glenn sa
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Susan Day
Mar 16, 2015 rated it it was amazing
You shouldn’t read this book if you are an author and you think you’re talented and have something significant to offer the literary world.

You shouldn’t read this book if you have no sense of humour.

You shouldn’t read this book if you are easily offended by swearing (lots of it!).

And you probably shouldn’t read this book if you love books.

In fact, no one should read this book.

Well, except people like me with years of experience in the literary / author world who need a great laugh and a genuinel
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Dixie Conley
Mar 06, 2015 rated it it was ok
Shelves: reviewed
This is a book of book reviews. Some profane (okay, almost all profane) and some thoughtful (not many). I give it two stars: one star because you can't give less than one and the second star because the reviews are funny. I could have given it three stars, but as many of the reviews lament the lack of violent sex in the books in question, I just can't take this volume that seriously. Book reviews should tell me something about the books in question, something that lets me know whether or not I w ...more
Roderick Vincent
Apr 16, 2015 rated it really liked it
Disclaimer: if you haven’t read one of Glenn Conley’s reviews, you won’t get this review because it is done in a Glenn Conley style.

Disclaimer 2: By clicking the spoiler, you will be acknowledging your acceptance of lewd, over-the-top profanity, characteristic of a Glenn Conley review, and proof that you are one damn sicko.

Disclaimer 3: This is a review of a review book by a reviewer who writes reviews. The author, a reviewer, asked for a review of his reviews in exchange for an honest review. G
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Jordan Anderson
Mar 15, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction, 2015
I don't know Glenn personally. Nor was I, in any way, asked to give a review for this book. I just happened to stumble upon it on Kindle Unlimited and give the thing a shot.

Well, actually, not all of that is true. The not being paid or asked for an honest review is, but I did know about this book, and I do know Glenn...sort of. Like I said, I don't know the guy personally, but ever since he liked one of my reviews on Bentley Little's "The Vanishing" (we both HATE the author), I've found myself f
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K.S. Marsden
Mar 27, 2015 rated it liked it
Ok, this is a first for me - a book review about book reviews.
This is possibly one of the hardest reviews I've ever had to do, so bear with me.

Glenn Conley has put together a collection of over 100 book reviews.

The Good
I like reviews. I confess that every time I want to waste a little time (usually when I'm supposed to be editing), I click through the reviews on my Goodreads news feed; then do that addictive thing of looking at other reviews for those books, because I'm curious about one reactio
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Lindsay Bassett
Mar 09, 2015 rated it really liked it
I was on Glenn’s blog and a few of his reviews made me laugh. I like reading book reviews almost as much as writing books, so I clicked the button to follow his blog. Then something strange happened. I found myself on Amazon.com, mesmerized by the cover of this book.

They say “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” I do what I want. The flaming book cover made me want to buy this book even though my internal monologue was advising against it. “Lindsay, this book is just a copy and paste of reviews fro
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M.K.
Mar 20, 2015 rated it really liked it
Glenn Hates Books
Brutally Honest Reviews - Vol. 1
by Glenn Conley
4-Stars

This is the first time I’ve reviewed a book about book reviews. If you are an avid gamer, you may recall video-bloggers named the Angry-Video-Game Nerd, Zero-Punctuation-Guy and the Nostalgia-Critic. It seems to me, Glenn-Hates-Books is in the same category, only for books, not movies and games.
Most interesting here is Glenn’s criteria for stars. This the exact thought process most of us go through when deciding on how to rat
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James McCormick
Mar 28, 2015 rated it really liked it
In many respects this book is a breath of foul mouthed fresh air, the perfect antidote to overly pretentious literary reviews. This is a guy, who like most readers, is interested in characters and plot and wants above all to be moved and entertained, given a reason to keep reading, and woe betide any author who doesn’t do that.

Brutally honest and in your face, Conley has his own unique style that sticks a finger up at all and everyone. At first it felt like sticking my face into a buzz saw (espe
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Wayne Elsner
Mar 16, 2015 rated it really liked it
I really didn't know what I was getting into when I agreed to review this book. As it is an accumulation of around one hundred book reviews that have been written by Glenn Conley, it really doesn't fit into the usual idea of what a book is and certainly not within the realm of what I would usually read. Still I took it on and in the end found that I read it quickly and actually enjoyed it. Sure there was an over abundance of unnecessary swearing, but I was fully warned in the beginning so it was ...more
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A book hater, who writes a book, hmmm.....
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So when asked to review this I thought why the hell not, although personally I thought he was far to nice to Gone Girl. That flaming pile of shit was a complete waste of my fuckin time but whatever.
Some of the reviews were pretty fuckin hilarious, some rather disturbing, animal fucking seems to be a rather common occurrence in his book selection, lots of lacking psychopaths, and rape but not rape. Acid would greatly improve a lot of these books.
But se
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Lasa Limpin
Mar 25, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Glenn Conley is a damn fun writer. He knows how to turn a sentence into a surprise. That's real talent. In the back of this book he says he wrote stories--I want him to write stories. But he says he was twelve and they sucked. For the love of Hercules, you were twelve, of course they're going to suck. Write some more. With boobs and bazookas and suchlike. Because you've got talent at the sentence level.

Reading these reviews, honestly, was more fun than I've had reading a lot of novels lately. I
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Candace Talmadge
Mar 21, 2015 rated it really liked it
Glenn doesn't really hate books. At least, not all of them. But the ones he does not like he gleefully rips to pieces, and usually picks nits even with the books on which he bestows 5-star reviews. His "low-brow" approach reminds me sharply of Joe-Bob Briggs, the fictional drive-in movie critic from Rockwall, Texas who reviewed movies in a now defunct newspaper, the Dallas Times Herald. Except Joe-Bob couldn't use any profanity because his work appeared in a family newspaper. Glenn labors under ...more
Deborah McClatchey
Mar 24, 2015 rated it really liked it
I wasn’t sure what to expect with this book of reviews...just reviews? Oh no! There is plenty to absorb in each short review. But however you want to put it…it’s done in brutal honesty. While reading, I had the feeling I was watching my favorite comedian Lewis Black on stage! Hilarious! The assessments are quick and to the point so you can read through them rather quickly – which makes you want to keep on going to get to those 5 star reviews! Glenn lays it out with his expressive nature, and he ...more
Emma Jaye
Mar 10, 2015 rated it liked it

Glen is a very angry man. If profanity offends you, don’t read this.
Saying that, my seventeen year old son thought it was great. He’d quite like to keep Glen in his backpack to pull out when people annoy him just so Glen could swear at them. The three star rating is a cross between his enthusiasm, and me quaking in my boots.
I’m an author…
Dyane Forde
Mar 24, 2015 rated it really liked it
“Here is my book: Glenn Hates Books Vol. 1. It's a collection of hilarious book reviews that are sure to amuse you. That is, if you have a sick sense of humor, as I do.”
Well, Mr. Conley warned me. His reviews are definitely not for the faint of heart.
I’ll begin by saying that I found this a hard book to review. How do you critique a book containing the author’s feelings and opinions about what he’s read? And, if he chose to express those opinions in the most prickly and colorful way possible, t
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Sally Gould
Mar 20, 2015 rated it it was amazing
The title of this book could be “Glenn’s Quest for Books Worth Reading”. Obviously, he doesn’t hate the idea of books, because he spends so much time reading them. But often he doesn’t like what he finds - flaws. And while his profane language might give the impression he doesn’t care, I think he cares very much. Why else would he say, “It’s really sad that Dan Brown’s books have become so formulaic”?

This book comprises Glenn’s reviews of a range of well known and unknown books. He begins with
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Rick DeStefanis
Mar 22, 2015 rated it liked it
First of all, Glenn doesn’t hate books, just poorly written ones. Glen Conly’s book of reviews ranges and rages from one-star vitriolic personal attacks on authors to five-star honest, accurate and insightful observations. If suggesting an author deserves anal or oral rape doesn’t offend you, then this is your five-star compilation of reviews. If you can get past more blatant pornographic exposition and language than the average Marine drill-instructor uses, then this is your book. I believe thi ...more
Ella Drayton
Mar 21, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Recently I was approached by Glenn to review my book, The Letters and when he mentioned his book, I agreed to review it. I must say I was more at ease with agreeing to review his book than I was to let him review mine. And the reviews in this book (and the ones on his blog/Goodreads) are precisely the reason why I was scared to let him review my book.

Glenn claims to hate books. If you read just his one-star reviews, you might really believe that he is telling the truth. He's not, though. I'm on
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Steve Vernon
Apr 06, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: book-reviews
Does anyone out there remember Joe Bob Briggs? That Texan movie reviewer who used to hang out in front of drive-in movies and give ratings based on breast count and pints of spilled blood?

How about Jeff Foxworthy - or better yet, Ron White, the REAL funnyman of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour?

Well, that is the sort of style of review we are looking at here. Glenn Conley writes raunchy redneck book reviews that are NOT for the easily offended. I am talking about blue language, scatological humor and
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David Tanager
Mar 28, 2015 rated it liked it
This collection of reviews offered quite a stark contrast to the typically dull and safe book reviews found on Amazon. Laden with profanity and vulgar words the reviews pull no punches which at times were refreshing and humorous.

I think that this type of product has its place, and being that this is only Volume 1, I think the writer can actually have a marketable idea, if a few changes are made. First, I enjoyed the harsh critiques from 1-3 stars, but when I got to the 4-5 star reviews I grew d
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J. Woods
Mar 22, 2015 rated it really liked it
If you’re into crude humour then Glenn Hates Books Vol. 1 Brutally Honest Book Reviews is for you. It is obscure and comedic and I found myself laughing out loud while reading this book. The raw honesty in each review is proof of Glenn’s passion about his reading choices and it’s palpable in this collection of reviews.

I liked how Glenn has grouped each star rating reviews together - first the 1 of 5 Absolutely-F*#@ing-Terrible Stars, then we move onto the 2 of 5 Makes-My-Head-Hurt Stars, then 3
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Sara Lunardi
Apr 19, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: new-authors
Glenn is a guy who literally cut to the chase. If he doesn't like a book, things take a bad turn: “I want to gather every copy, and burn them all. I want to take the author, and slap them across the face with their stupid book.” Poor authors, I feel so sorry for them, really I am.

I burst out laughing many times while reading this book, and to be honest, it hadn't happened to me for a very long time. And not just because of the funny profanity it contains or the humorous style, but because Glenn'
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Review of Glenn Hates Books, Vol. 1 1 8 Apr 29, 2015 12:51PM  
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I didn’t learn to read and write until I was in the 3rd grade. Because, lets face it, I’m a fucking idiot. Well, that’s not entirely true. Not the idiot part. I’m totally a fucking idiot. The bit about why it took me so long to learn…

You see, I hated school. No, you don’t get it. I’m saying, I fucking HATED school. I especially hated the reading and writing lessons. They made my tiny little head h
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