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The Psychology of Romantic Love: Romantic Love in an Anti-Romantic Age

4.14  ·  Rating details ·  350 ratings  ·  22 reviews
What love is, why love is born, why it sometimes grows, and why it sometimes dies.

Have you ever wondered how romantic love evolves? What the difference is between mature and immature love? What role sex plays in romantic love, and whether love necessarily implies sexual exclusivity? And, most important, how can we make love last? Originally published in 1980, this updated
Paperback, 204 pages
Published February 1st 2008 by Tarcherperigee (first published July 28th 2000)
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4.14  · 
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 ·  350 ratings  ·  22 reviews

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Nov 20, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I picked up this book wanting to understand why we fall in love with some people and not others, and how to build and sustain a successful relationship and then marriage. I definitely am closing the book with a heightened sense of understanding that built on The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. I spent the last year really conflicted with myself and bewildered by other peoples behavior, and now, having read the final page, I have a new sense of clarity and understanding regarding my behavior and feel ...more
Apr 09, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: marriage
This is my first Nathaniel Branden read. While he’s well known (and criticized) for his work with self-esteem, which I have very mixed feelings about to say the least, this book proved to be a rather pleasant surprise. I thought he did the subject real justice and provided valuable food for thought -- I found myself in agreement with much of what he wrote regarding romantic love. He offered some wonderful advice/views that were very honest and grounded in reality, yet optimistic nonetheless. No ...more
Aug 31, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Of the various factors that are vital for success of romantic love, none is more important than self-esteem. The first love affair we must consummate successfully is the love affair with ourselves. Only then are we ready for other love relationships.

An autonomous individual is one who does not experience his or her self-esteem as continually in question or in jeopardy. His or her worth is not a matter of continuing doubt. The source of approval resides within self. It is not at the mercy of ever
Oct 27, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Super interesting book, a lot of food for thought. I really enjoyed going through the history of romantic love in the beginning of the book. The only thing I wasn't too fond of was the ending which was full of politically correct stuff like "divorce doesn't mean a marriage has failed". Just not my cup of tea.
Dec 13, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everyone
f you are in a relationship or want to be in a relationship—which is pretty much everybody!—you owe it to yourself to read "The Romantic Love Question & Answer Book," written by psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden.

The book addresses every conceivable aspect of romantic relationships and offers a wealth of insights and examples that can help people create a healthier, more intimate relationship. If you are not currently in a relationship, this book can help you make your next relationship a suc
Nathaniel Branden, after his disagreement with Ayn Rand, still kept his beliefs more or less in alignment with objectivism and individualism, and as a psychologist he adds a lot of aspects into the philosophy. He is a great thinker in his own right and is very capable of bringing philosophy and psychology into alignment with each other. Especially important and intriguing is the take he has on love(that I for a long time needed to find a book like this on), and in this book he explains how love, ...more
Oct 03, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Concluzii, idei și concepte despre iubirea romantică, acea formă de iubire specifică relației de cuplu, din perspectiva unui psihoterapeut care diferențiază iubirea romantică de alte forme de afecțiune față de semeni.
Ușor de citit, de înțeles și deschizătoare de perspective. După ce prezintă evoluția iubirii romantice, o dată cu dezvoltarea civilizației umane, autorul analizează nevoile care fundamentează iubirea romantică, apoi explorează cum alegem de cine ne îndrăgostim și, în final, propune
Aug 30, 2017 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2017, nonfiction
I had really mixed feelings about this book. There were parts I really enjoyed reading but the fact that this was written in the '80s shows in a lot of the author's (now outdated) ideas, particularly in regards to his discussion of LGBTQ couples/relationships. That alone was enough for the book to leave a sour taste in my mouth.
Ron Sharp Jr.
Apr 15, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Just finished, and already want to read it again to reinforce my understanding. Branden begins with an interesting cross-cultural history of romance, and ends with a critique of society's weakening of the word "love". An early pioneer in the study of self-esteem, he has much to offer on a variety of topics, challenging both the forlorn cynic and the hyper-romantic dreamer.

Lisa (Harmonybites)
Nathaniel Branden was once a close disciple of Ayn Rand--although he was purged from the ranks of her inner circle. You can certainly see her influence in this book--it's very self centered--and I don't mean to denigrate it by calling that. Branden's "The Psychology of Self-Esteem simply argues for the importance of self-esteem in a healthy psychology--and I'd agree with that. How revolutionary it is--as claimed on the cover of that book--I can't really judge. I do know that his theories fall in ...more
Bookworm Amir
Dec 29, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Dec 28, 2011 rated it it was ok
Shelves: book-club
2 or 3, 2 or 3, 2 or 3...

i hated it, then i thought it was ok, then i thought he made some good points, then i hated it again.

one thing is certain. nathaniel branden and i do not share a "sense of life."
Marjorie Elwood
May 15, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: relationships
There was the occasional flash of insight (for instance, the portion on inherent biological rhythms) but I found this meandered too much to offer any real help. Furthermore, it's extremely heteronormative.
May 29, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Read it twice, and would like to read it a third time. Learned a lot about myself! The principle of psychological visibility made a lot of sense to me.
Mary Woody
Aug 19, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was one of the best books I've ever read and this is the second time I've read it. I will read this again I'm sure.I believe every word this author writes.
Oct 26, 2007 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: psychology, favorites
Apr 19, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: book-club
Remotely interesting, but not sure I agree with his thoughts over all.
Jan 29, 2016 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-2016
Most of the time really boring, but sometimes really good (20%).

It took me forever to finish it.
Mar 12, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
An analysis of love as a reaction to virtue. When we are virtuous and alive, we see those things in others, we see ourselves in others. That is love. Missing something, though.
Nov 01, 2012 rated it really liked it
I loved his thoughts. I hate that I don't have what he describes. Knowing it is possible may be even more discouraging than staying a cynic.
Abner Huertas
Apr 19, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book. it will teach you about the history of romantic love and why is important for us to understand.
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Yosi Laban
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Jul 19, 2018
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Dec 27, 2017
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Jul 30, 2015
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Jul 07, 2017
Kevin Mulcrone
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May 23, 2018
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Feb 06, 2019
Ruchi Bhimani
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Jul 26, 2017
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Nathaniel Branden started reading Ayn Rand's "Fountainhead" in the summer of '44 as he was introduced to it by his sister and her giggling friends.

He met Rand in California where he attended college for psychology. She responded to his fan letter.

"Atlas Shrugged" was dedicated to Branden and he became her intellectual heir. The two carried on an affair, though each was married. After a dispute, t
“Never marry a person who is not a friend of your excitement.” 10 likes
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