More than Exist

by Bethany Lopez

Love can exit your life as quickly as it enters it, shattering your heart in the process.

It's been a year since my husband was taken from me in a tragic accident. I thought it would kill me. Now, I think I'm ready to start healing.

My mother says my idea of taking a solo cross-country road trip is crazy, but I see it as my road to recovery. Along the way, I'll have to deal with the poor choices I've made since Ricky died. I'll have to overcome the terror that his death has caused me. I'll have to find my balance again.

And once I meet Luke and his young son, I'll have to decide if I can take the risk to do more than exist and learn to love again.

Genres: Romance, Contemporary, Audiobook

268 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2015

About the author

Sign up for my Newsletter for more information about my writing: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/61969e...

Bethany Lopez is a USA Today Bestselling author of more than seventy published works, as both Bethany Lopez and DJ Bryce, and has been publishing since 2011. She's a lover of all things romance, which she incorporates into the books she writes, no matter the genre.

When she isn't reading or writing, she loves spending time with family and traveling whenever possible.

Bethany can usually be found with a cup of coffee or glass of wine at hand, and will never turn down a cupcake!

Literary Agent - Amanda Wooden, SBR Media amanda@sbrmedia.com

Reviews

[Bethany Lopez]

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[Heidi Hutchinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated that this book was broken into two parts. Which is very real to life with addiction and loss. There's the fall...and the fall...and the fall... And then the terrifying struggle of climbing out of it. Belle's story touched me and I am a better person for having read it. Thank you, Bethany, for this heartfelt addition to your already stellar library.

[Joy Novel Thoughts · Rating 4 out of 5]

This isn't the type of book I normally read. It's more about self-discovery than about falling in love. It's about addiction and recovery. It's about losing your soul mate and rebuilding your heart to let others in.

The first part of this novel is getting to know Belle and what caused her on a self destructive path and the second half is her healing.

I enjoyed this novel and I finished it one sitting. My heart broke for Belle and the things she went through that caused her such turmoil that she always wanted to feel numb. My heart slowly started to mend as she rediscovered herself and let heart feel love again.

My favorite quote from this novel was this, "Without love, there's no happiness. And without happiness, are you really existing anyway?"

If you are looking for a good book about self discovery and finding yourself again after tragedy strikes, this is a great book for you to pick up.

[Kassandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a sweet story about love and recovery Bethany Lopez weaves a brilliant narrative. Told from Belle's point of view you embark on a journey as she struggles to deal with overwhelming grief, guilt and finally learning to love again.

I was given an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Pavitra (For The Love of Fictional Worlds) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story isn't really much of a romance rather more of a "finding yourself" fiction with hints of romance! And it was a wonderful experience!

There are two parts of this story - but the whole book revolves around Belle and her quest to understand herself after loosing her husband, and the consequences of that loss!

In the first part, we see Belle start off on a road trip, in a quest to find her jest for life again, even though she has been increasingly partaking in some increasingly risky behavior since she lost her husband, and when those choices end up with her almost loosing her life? That denial and the consequences come to a head - and she needs to decide to make a plan to regain control of her life.

The second part of the story is the recovery and where Belle takes control of her life and finds new reason to live on, even with her realising it!

This is a story of a survivor - a survivor who triumphed over her addiction, and choose to hold on to a new lease in her life - and it was a wonderful story to lose myself into, for a couple of hours!

But here's my issue: while I understand that this was the story of triumph over tragedy and my heart hurt for everything that Belle went through, but somehow I wasn't able to connect to the story like I thought I would, and I know I should have, and I honestly tried, but I couldn't. I really couldn't. And this issue was exacerbated when Luke and Belle met.

Luke and Belle's romance was sweet and definitely going somewhere, when without a second thought, they both declare they are in love. I really wanted them to have a solid foundation before jumping into the love relationship!

The book redeemed itself in ways that you can't imagine in the epilogue - that little sneak left me all warm and tingling and I ended this book with a smile on my face! <3



For more reviews visit For The Love of Fictional Worlds :)
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[Melissa Mendoza · Rating 5 out of 5]

“He wasn’t wearing a backwards baseball cap, instead he had on a black cowboy hat, but there was no mistaking that chiseled, handsome face, and his striking blue eyes.”

5 emotional stars!!! Beautiful and full of heart!



This isn’t my first book by Bethany Lopez, and it certainly won’t be the last. I will say that this book isn’t for the weak of heart. It’s emotional and powerful, and hit you in ways no other book will ever hit you! I found myself ugly crying a few times. My heart was broken, battered, and bruise… but I loved every word, page, chapter.. You get it! If you’re ready for a book that will take you over the edge emotionally then this is the book for you!

*ARC provided by Author in exchange for an honest bitchin’ review.
Reviewed by The Sarcastic Bitch from Bitches N’ Books

[Cathie McManus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Life after the death of a loved one is difficult. Everyone handles it differently. I fell in love with the characters and rooted for Belle to find peace and love. This is a story about loss, addiction and recovery.

After Belle's husband, Ricky, dies unexpectantly, she spends the next year in an alcohol fog. Moving back East, she is forced to dance one dance at a club in Vegas. She meets and befriends Ginger, who is bubbly. She starts her dace for Luke but ends up breaking down.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. She enters rehab. After completing her stay, the manager gets Belle a cook position at a Ranch temporarily. She meets the owner, Luke.

Her new friends help keep her on a good course so she is more the existing.

[Ruby McDemon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed hearing this story of finding love after loss. I enjoyed Belle's trip across the country and the craziness she got into along the way. This story was sweet and heart warming. I loved joust about the entire story. I can't explain why but I found a sense of peace while listening and enjoyed the entire story. Susan did a great job narrating and her voice was so soothing it made the story even more peaceful for me.

[Renee Entress · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 star

I was pulled right into this story. The story has grief, addiction, heartbreak, and healing.

This is Belle’s story. Her story is about losing someone you love. The way some people spiral downhill. It’s about addiction and how to finally overcome it. Her story is hard and painful but once she pulls herself together she decides to take a trip. People are not happy about it but she knows it’s what she needs. Along the way she meets Luke and his son. She works for Luke but sparks fly. Can she let someone into her heart after all the pain of the last time? She needs to figure it out and decide what is best for her. Some days are a struggle but could Luke be the one to finally heal the broken pieces of her shattered heart?

There are some tear filled moments and some anger filled moments in this story. But all in all I felt I was able to connect with the characters and the story was a great read.

I recommend this book.

[Kimberly #Audiofile · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and full of action.
I really enjoyed this book.
Triggers are alcoholism and death of a loved one.
Coming of age story for a lady deciding to live again hence the title.

Narration was good and voice actor for the story well.
Gifted audio in exchange for an honest review.
4 stars

[Kriss Theibault · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing and Heart wringing

Overall rating: 5
Story quality: 5
Steam under the collar: 2
Character development: 5

More than Exist by Bethany Lopez has made its way on my very special list of All-time Favorite books! If I could give this book 6 stars or even 50 it would happen! The book touches the hearts of the readers through the Story of Belle. She has turned to alcohol to cope with the loos of her husband. After a year of living in state of numbness she sets out on the trip that will ultimately change her life. After ultimately hurting herself she comes to grips with the fact that her husband, family, friends would not want her to live this way and goes in to rehab. After rehab she needs a job and moves to the ranch the fate had brought her to and her life is forever changed by the Ranch and the men that live there.

More than Exist is an amazing book! Belle is one of the most relatable characters that I have found in a long time. The content of the book over all is a hard one to read. The loss of a husband, the loss of one’s self, a found addiction, and then the moments that change everything. I loved this book and yes it made me cry like a baby, I all but curled up in to a ball. Now that being said the tears were the good kind, the ones that you have when something is so sweet and life changes that you weep. I promise you will love this book!

NOTE: the book does deal with alcohol addiction and that being said there are some sections that will be hard to read. But over all I have read worse. Bethany did an amazing job a tackling a hard subject and I encourage you all to read it!

I always give honest review and I want to thank you Bethany Lopez for the free copy of More than Exist for my honest review! Please go check out Bethany Lopez and her other Books she is amazing!

[Bitches N' Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Title: More Than Exist

Author: Bethany Lopez


“He wasn’t wearing a backwards baseball cap, instead he had on a black cowboy hat, but there was no mistaking that chiseled, handsome face, and his striking blue eyes.”


5 emotional stars!!! Beautiful and full of heart!





This isn’t my first book by Bethany Lopez, and it certainly won’t be the last. I will say that this book isn’t for the weak of heart. It’s emotional and powerful, and hit you in ways no other book will ever hit you! I found myself ugly crying a few times. My heart was broken, battered, and bruise… but I loved every word, page, chapter.. You get it! If you’re ready for a book that will take you over the edge emotionally then this is the book for you!


*ARC provided by Author in exchange for an honest bitchin’ review.

Reviewed by The Sarcastic Bitch from Bitches N’ Books

[Angela Cruz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a contemporary romance. This is a stand alone, but I would love to read what the future holds for Belle. I recommend this for teen and older, only due to the alcohol addiction and adult situations. This book is full of so many raw emotions of grief. A powerful book, a must read.

Belle loses her husband, and grief overtakes her. She starts secluding herself in their home. So she decides to sell their home and move. She struggles daily, and makes some decisions that she second guesses, but in the end it helps open her eyes. Belle decides enough is enough she needs a change, she needs to start to live again. She goes into recovery for alcohol addiction. Then she applies for a job where she in out in the county where she can breathe again.

favorite passages:
"My lair of depression."
"I knew what it was like to love someone that completely, and not want to believe they were gone from your life forever."
"Of course, our circumstances were quite different, but still, love is love and sometimes, even though your brain knows it's not rational, your heart refuses to let go. <3
"If I closed my eyes and imagined really hard, I could almost feel the ghost of his palm sliding against mine."
"Well, Mirabelle, you sure are going to pretty up this place, aren't you?"
"I've got to get back to the troop, but maybe later I'll give you a ride." I stood there speechless at his parting shot when I realized he was talking about the horse."
"The good kind,"Luke said with a grin and a wink, which automatically filled my head with naughty visions."

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mirabelle is struggling after a tragic accident takes her husband. After a year she finally sells her house and heads to the East coast to be closer to family. She makes several stops on her roadtrip and the people she meets all help her through in their own ways. Once she makes it to her parents house she has an accident that almost kills her and from there her life will change forever. Will she find her way back to happiness? Will she love again? Can she stay sober once she gets there?

I love this book! It starts with a road trip across the trip and with us finding out what Belle would and wouldn’t do to get through the day. She makes several stops and makes a few friends on the trip. She finally makes it to her parent’s place in Florida where she ends up in the hospital. The character is so well written that you truly felt every emotion that she felt. It was such a great plot as well. The author has an amazing writing style and I can’t wait to read more by this author. The flow and pace were perfect as well.

All in all I don’t think that there is a single thing that I would change about this book. It was perfect. It doesn’t happen often but this book brought me close to tears. They didn’t spill out but they were close so I would recommend having tissues nearby when you read this because you will most likely find yourself in tears. Again I can’t wait to read more by this amazing author. Such a great book!

[Jennifer Carlock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me start off by saying THANK YOU to Bethany Lopez for writing such a beautiful book! I mean WOW, I'm never an ugly crier but this one had me wiping tears!
This story takes you on the compelling journey of a woman battling alcoholism after the loss of her beloved husband of 12 years. Belle turns to the bottle every time her emotions get the best of her and before she knows it, it's a full blown habit. It's a relentless struggle to do even mundane things without a drink, it consumes her while trying to mask the pain.
After some time and a lot of thinking she decides to take a road trip to see her parents and try to start over in a way. She ends up embarking on a marvelous journey where she meets some pretty amazing people and a few speedbumps along the way.
The saying that "everything happens for a reason" comes to mind while reading this. After a stint in rehab Belle gets the opportunity to do what she loves again, cook! She ends up finding herself again and opening up her heart to new friends, she finds happiness again after such a dark period in life.
There's so much that I'd like to say but I hate to ruin the pure experience of reading this book, it's truly wonderful! I found it so easy to place myself into Belle's shoes even though I've never experienced such a loss or battled an addiction.
Note: the author gave me this book in exchange for an honest review and I honestly enjoyed it!

[Maddy's Reading · Rating 4 out of 5]

*~*~*ARC provided generously by the author in exchange of an honest review *~*~*
This is the story about a woman's journey from a tragedy that she faces in her life, how she loses her way and then finds herself again.
The book hits you with a shocker in the first page when we get the news of Belle's husband's death.
The story begins one year after her husband's death when she goes on a road trip. She is suffering from addiction and we see how easy denial is for people who are addicted. She has to do something she's never done before, makes a new friend on the way.
After facing the hard reality of her addiction, she decides to take control of her life and begin anew. That is when she meets Luke. Luke is a hard working, compassionate, sweet and handsome cowboy. He has a ten year old son and Belle is their temporary housekeeper and cook.
This is a wonderful journey to be a part of. The struggles are real. And when Belle comes out the winner, you want to celebrate with her. Good read :)

[Angi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free ARC of this book and am voluntarily writing an honest review.

A year after the death of her husband, Belle hits rocks bottom. She has become an alcoholic to numb the pain. She leaves California to return home to Florida to distance herself from the memories. Once she hits rock bottom she enters rehab and slowly begins to rebuild her life and herself. She soon meets Luke and begins to work on his ranch when she leaves rehab. Will Belle discover how to love again? Although there is a love story in this book, it is a secondary plot line. THe main story line is about falling apart, grieving the loss of a loved one, merely existing and going through the motions of life. This book is also about learning to love again, rediscovering one's self, living life again. This is a beautifully written story and I was in awe of how Bethany Lopez created a story line that invoked many different emotions! A definite must read!!

[Paula D · Rating 5 out of 5]

Belle's life changed the minute her husband got killed from a motorcycle accident. Belle started drinking to take away the pain plus she decides it's time to move so Belle drives from California to Florida and gets her purse stolen has to strip to get it back meets Luke and Ginger .Then ends up getting drunk and falling into a pool. Belle then goes and gets help. Belle then gets a job as a house keeper but guess who the guy she works for it's Luke. Will Belle get over her husbands death and not drink anymore? Will Luke see the real Belle? Great story about death and addiction of overcoming and moving on and deserving of being happy! 5/5 stars Reviewed for Sweet & Spicy Read provided for a voluntarily Advanced Reader Copy of this book **** I

[Sarah Sargent · Rating 5 out of 5]

More than Exist by Bethany Lopez is a fantastic read. It took me a little to get into the story, however it is defiantly worth the read. Belle has been through a lot, she lost her husband in a tragic accident and that is where this story begins. She drinks to escape the pain, to stop thinking, to be numb. At one point we will all drink to this stage. Belle has to do it every day, she’s an alcoholic….A cross country road trip is the new adventure and the rock bottom that she needs. The romance scenes are tastefully done and leaves a lot to the imagination. When Belle finally finds something that she is happy with and happy with life, she finds what she is looking for. The only spoiler that I will share. Have tissue ready you will want them…..

[Marika · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the story. It's not an easy read, when there is grief and the subsequential road to recovery is never easy, but that's WHY I love this story.. it's a journey of self discovery for Belle. . Because when she lost her husband she didn't know who she was anymore and what happiness was..so she decided on a road trip that would allow her time to think and decide what to do.
Belle has her problems and the way she deal with them..well let's just say everyone deal in different ways and she found a way to cope even tho she realise she has a problem.. I swear I felt for her, my heart broke..
The process of healing is not an easy one but I was so proud of her and the love she could allow herself to feel and live again.
A powerful story that shows the bad alongside the good and happy!

[Chasidy · Rating 5 out of 5]

More than Exist captured me from the very beginning. My heart ached for Belle and the loss she went through. This story touches on the real life struggle of loss and addiction.
A year after losing her husband, Belle sets out on journey to discover herself again. She meets some friends along the way. She had an encounter with Luke in a strip club in Vegas. Who would have thought months later they would meet again. More than Exist takes you on a journey of heartbreak, addition, healing, and love in unexpected places.
This is my first Bethany Lopez book and it will not be my last.

[Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

4* read.
First thing to say is I loved the cover, it was different and eye-catching.
This was a really emotional read about self discovery, love, recovering and healing. It starts where Belle gets some terrible news and then you go on her journey with her from then which was heartbreaking. The addiction side was really hard to read at times but the author did it justice.
Can't wait for more from this author.

[Teri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know what I was expecting but it totally wasn't this story. The story of Belle recovering from loosing the love of her life. She went through the phases of recovery in steps as she rediscovers her desire to live and not just exist. Along the way she not only finds herself happy and at peace but finds a place to call home. Now all she has to do is put the past in it's place and trust love again. A well written emotional read. Beautifully done.

[Ashley Stevenson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I voluntarily reviewed an Advance Reader Copy of this book. This story was unique and inspiring one woman and a journey to heal also to learn to live again. Sometimes it won't be easy to let go of something or someone but find a guide of light to lift you toward peace and happiness. Love is sometimes painful and amazing but with the right person be truthful happiness.

[Stefanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are looking for a book that will pull emotions out of you like no other, then look no further. Within the first couple of pages I was crying and couldn't get enough. This is a beautifully written and impactful story. It's a story of healing, addiction, and heartbreak. This book is the perfect recipe for an epic story and one you won't soon forget.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book packed a ton of emotion. The grief and loss that Belle feels is palpable.

I recently read the Night & Day novella and was delighted to see Ginger and Big Mike from that novella in this story. Finishing this makes me want to reread the novella now that I know Ginger better.

Belle and Luke are helping each other and the growth of their relationship was beautiful to listen to.

[Nancy Metsch · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the first book I read by Bethany, It's not what I excepted and it was very hard at times to read it, because of the nature of the story. But I did like it

[Renea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this read. It explores the topic of alcoholism that isn't touched on in a lot of books.
I really liked the relationships between the characters.
I will read more by this author.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

i loved Belle's story. and its always a plus for me with cute little kiddos involved.

[June · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book felt bland, and shallow, never getting deep into the issues it included.

At first, I thought the heroine being alcoholic is a good twist that could add depth to the story. However, it wasn't properly explored. Although she hid it from people around her, she admitted that she had a problem rather easily after she accidentally got injured. Then, we didn't get to see the recovering process, her life at the rehab. In the next chapter, she was already all right, ready to leave the rehab.

It seemed like the addiction was just a gimmick to show the heroine's grief over her husband's death, and maybe to give the heroine a reason to talk about her feelings with the hero even when it's difficult so that there would be no unnecessary drama stemming from miscommunication.

The avoidance of miscommunication in itself is a good thing. But it was still disappointing that the addiction issue wasn't treated as something more important and serious. Well, at least the heroine got very close to drinking again near the end, albeit it being the only time the addiction issue became a focus.

Also, how the heroine made peace with her husband's death, just like her getting over the addiction, wasn't shown to us readers, which was another disappointment. She more or less jumped from "not okay" to "okay" during the time between Part I and Part II.


It felt like a bad plot as well. If the author didn't mean to explore the addiction issue, why did she use a half of the book basically only to show that the heroine was alcoholic? That part could've been made a lot shorter.

That way, more pages could've been spent on the romance and the relationship could've developed more slowly, which I think was more fitting considering the heroine's past and the fact that the heroine and the love interest knew each other for a short time. More details concerning the romance could’ve been included as well.

The heroine's relationships with the others at the ranch could've also been more explored, which would make it more understandable when she got so panicked, thinking she was going to lose the life at the ranch, everyone there. But since those relationships were barely introduced, it seemed like she was just being melodramatic.

I actually felt like I was reading a shortened version, some parts taken out of the book. The author just told us the heroine became close to those at the ranch rather than showed how she did it.

I felt that way maybe partly because the romance was also very simple. Sweet but a bit boring. There was no building up, or no real drama. Without the heroine's guilt concerning her late husband, it probably would've been something like, "They met. They found out they were attracted to each other. They got together. The end." In fact, what actually happened wasn't much different from this. Although the heroine initially pushed the love interest away because of the feeling of guilt, she got over it fairly quickly.


Actually, everything went too smoothly for the heroine in Part II. She got along with everyone at the ranch easily. When she became almost overwhelmed by the desire to drink, her friend conveniently appeared to stop her. The woman whose place the heroine was filling temporarily conveniently decided to retire so that the heroine wouldn't have to leave the ranch.

Not that she had hardships except for her grief and addiction in Part I. This whole book rather lacked drama.


In a way, it felt like the author threw everything she wanted to write about in this book only to end up falling short in all aspects.


But my biggest problem is how this book treated strippers, and the prejudice against them.

Belle, the heroine, disapproved of the ex-boyfriend of Ginger, her stripper friend, when he became upset at finding out about her job, calling him an asshole. And she told Ginger that Ginger didn't have to be ashamed of being a stripper.

Later in the book, however, Luke, the love interest, showed hesitance toward hiring the heroine because he thought she was, or had been, a stripper. The reaction is pretty much based on the same prejudice Ginger's ex-boyfriend had. In fact, Luke's prejudice was stronger. He jumped to the assumption that Belle wasn't trustworthy at least with children just because he thought she was a stripper, and he didn't want to give her a job.

And yet, Belle didn't point it out at all, showing no anger or disapproval toward such a blatant prejudice and discrimination, not just outwardly but also inwardly. Maybe because she was too busy defending herself, saying she hadn't been an actual stripper, as if it was okay for Luke to distrust her if she were really a stripper.

This attitude of Belle's made me wonder how much she had meant what she said to Ginger when Ginger was hurt by her ex-boyfriend's attitude toward her job.

Maybe Belle meant the words at that time because defending strippers costed her nothing then. But she clearly didn't care enough to defend them even when it could cost her a job opportunity. She didn't care enough to feel anything about Luke's prejudice against strippers despite still being friends with Ginger, even.

And she didn't seem to be even aware of her inconsistent attitude, much less feel bad about it.


This thing about strippers made me dislike Belle, and the author. Because I suspect the author made Belle befriend Ginger and Ginger's ex-boyfriend become upset about her being a stripper so that she could make she, and Belle, look holier, like they didn't have any prejudice toward strippers unlike some people like the said ex-boyfriend.

Though as I mentioned above, Belle's reaction toward Luke's prejudice and discrimination against strippers completely ruined the attempt, showing that the author didn't care about strippers and just used them to make her look good.

I even suspect that this desire of the author's to make herself and the heroine good is the reason why Part I dragged for no apparent reason. Unless she stretched Part I because the romance, which was the major focus of Part II lacked substance so much that it couldn't become a book on its own, that is.