The World Needs A Father: A Trainers Guide

by Cassie Carstens, Wendy Hinman (Editor), David Liprini (Editor)

If the family unit is a fundamental building block of society, the nucleus of that unit is the father, and when he causes damage, the ripples affect everyone. Drawing from decades of first-hand experience and a wealth of academic research, this book delves into the depths of the catastrophe that is fatherlessness, laying it open from an academic and personal perspective, and presenting a thorough, practical solution. The book was written with the intention of capturing the core of The World Needs A Father Master Trainer course in a format that is easy to access and digest, but it is also an invaluable resource for anyone who wants to be a better husband, father or mentor. It will challenge you, convict you, and encourage you to be the best father you can be within your context. While it is rooted in Christian ethics and values, the truth and practical value that it expresses is just as relevant to people of a secular inclination, adherents to other faiths, or those who subscribe to no particular faith at all.

Genres: Christianity, Parenting

322 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 10, 2015

Reviews

[Abraham Dishan · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books on the role of Father and the importance on whatbit means for a family to be led by the biblical principles.

[Aaron Wong]

Carstens, C. (2019). The world needs a father: A trainers’ guide. (3rd ed.). South Africa.

Borrowed from Andrew

Luk 1:17 | Predicated to John the Baptist preparing the way for the Lord, he needed to turn the hearts of fathers to children and the disobedient to the righteous’ wisdom. - p. 6

6️⃣ dimensions of humans - spiritual, physical, emotional, social, intellectual, environmental - p. 10

👨🏻An involved father fosters increases EQ📈:
•tolerance & ability for strange, stressful, frustrating situations😰
•happiness & locus of control😊
•curiosity & exploration🧭
•problem-solving🕵🏼
•managing emotions & impulses appropriately😌
•initiative🙋🏻‍♀️
- p. 13

Children are taught to live by modelling relationships - husband-wife, parent-child, siblings. This results in positive peer relations, less tension, independent conflict resolution, better tolerance & adjustment, longer friendships & marriages. - p. 14

👨🏻For 6yos, their image of God is commensurate with their father’s. We are God with skin on!🍌 - p. 16

🏺Potters of the clay for each age:
•0-6: 🧑🏻mother ➡️ intellectual🧠
•6-11: 👨🏻father ➡️ basics, physical👤
•12-18: 👧🏻peer ➡️ social👯‍♀️
•19-21: 👨🏻father ➡️ identity🪪
•22-: 🇸🇬culture ➡️ training🏋🏻
- p. 18

🏡Home phase (age & characteristic developed):
👨🏻Father:
10-11. Identity (Values, Friends, Choices)🪪
9. Sexuality👩‍❤️‍👨
8. Body, Soul, Spirit👤
7. Competencies☑️
6. Emotional Security / Validation / Discipline🔐
🧑🏻Mother:
5. Strengths💪🏼
4. Industry or Inferiority🏭
2-3. Autonomy or Uncertainty✍🏼
1. Intimacy (Trust or Mistrust)♥️
- p. 19

Years 2️⃣-3️⃣:
•let them make decisions and hold them to their choice, so they see the consequences
•tantrums sometimes happen as they can’t express themselves linguistically, when they see life doesn’t always go their way
•shape their will without breaking their spirit
•give 3h of daily attention e.g. reading, brain games
•emotionally-pleasant environment
•fine motor skills: dough, blocks, necklaces, puzzles, scissors, painting
•gross motor skills: physical, throwing/catching, strollers, buckets
- p. 23-24

Years 6️⃣-8️⃣:
•affirm strengths💪🏼
•foster unstructured play, emotional regulation, reading vocabulary, father-son sexuality talk, empathy
Years 9-11:
•affirm girls’ physical beauty👸🏻
•choose battles wisely🥊
•Dad’s embrace to shoulders🫂
•sociability: 🏡Home to Group-Adventure🏘️
- p. 25-27

Phase 2: The Group-Adventure Phase (12-18 years)
•peer community
•explore, building the creative problem-solving areas of the brain
•belong in this world outside the safety of the family, to find identity in the peer
•brain chemicals: dopamine for new achievements, acetylcholine for exclusion threats, serotonin for exploration
p. 27-28

Ages:
17-18: Leadership Development/EQ
14-16: Relationships/Guardrails/Team
13: Rite of Passage
12: Peer Group Initiation
- p. 28

Year 12: mood swings
Year 13 (rite of passage): You’ve tasted your next life phase. You’re no longer a child, but becoming an adult, so we’ll reason with you to make good decisions, which lead to success. You’ll learn about team, trust, roles, and friendship and see how home principles & values hold up to challenges. You’ll see how acknowledging and ignoring guardrails reap different results.
- p. 28-29

Years 14-15:
•team qualities: social roles, trustworthiness, communication, conflict management, decision making
•disengaging with parents ➡️ engaging with friends
Years 16-18:
•awareness & opinions on social issues
•key relationships
•amygdala: emotional intelligence
•leadership capacity
- p. 30-31

Phase 3️⃣: Stepping Out & Up (19-25yo: father v culture)
26: Success Season Starts
22-25: Tertiary or On-The-Job Training
👨🏻21: Rite of Passage Into Manhood
👨🏻19-20: Identity (Values, Friends, Choices)
- p. 31

Years 19-20:
•personal identity🪪: right values, friends, choices, mission statement
•children return after Group Adventure phase to seek wisdom for adulthood
•🧠frontal lobe matures
•group identity & belonging ➡️ life meaning & contribution
•dopamine, serotonin ➡️ nonadrenaline
Year 21: rite of passage
Years 22-25: empowerment through university, job, spouse
- p. 32-33

[Anakii Eugene · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author of this book provides real guidance. Practical book. This book was a kind of motivation to act properly while I was reading it. This book also requires a lot of practice. I think I will need to come back to it later on to refresh my memory. I think reading this book with someone else and discussing it, can bring much more benefits than just reading it alone without discussing it with another reader.