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336 pages, ebook
First published November 3, 2015
"Here's a secret. I want to matter. I want to be known. I want to be myself. I want you to write this day on a piece of paper and put it inside Big. And one day, when you open him, you'll read about me and think, 'God, that day with Trent was one of my favorite days ever."
"Step one : Change happens. (The wreck.)
Step two : Pretend the change doesn't exist. (What wreck?)
Step three : get angry the other person can't be who they used to be. (You're a wreck.)
Step four : Create change. (Wreck this.)
I wish I could hate them and mean it".
"It took millions of years for that ocean to beat rocks into sand.
We're not that broken."
Forgiveness (n.) releasing the toxins of bitterness.
Peace hid from me this year, and I'd searched for it at Metal Pete's, in therapy sessions, in long runs on the beach, and hours of Star Time. I hadn't found it hiding among that dark, black sea of sparkles or anywhere else. But tonight, in the gentleness of my friend stretched out next to me, breathing in and out so rhythmically that he sounded like breaking waves, it felt within reach again.
"Cassiopeia was a queen," I said.
He took his eyes off the sky. "Like you."
"Um, not exactly, Romeo, since she went around boasting about her unrivaled beauty."
He laughed. "That does sound like you, but..." He turned back to the sky. "You should boast about your beauty."
"Max." I didn't mean to sound so condescending, but it came out that way before I could correct my tone.
"I'm not joking."
He huffed."God, I'd like to kick Gray Garrison in the nads." He sat up and forced me to do the same. His hands cupped my face and he locked eyes with me. "Look at me."
We were inches apart. There was nowhere else to look.
"Your face is beautiful, but I'm not some shallow asshole who falls in love with a face. You hear me?"
That rasp in his voice was perfect.
I braved an answer. "Yes."
"Sadie, you could go through a million windows and nothing would change."
MANY THANKS TO HARPER TEEN FOR THE REVIEW COPY IN EXCHANGE FOR AN HONEST REVIEW
"Best friends, even former ones, were supposed to understand crap like social anxiety and scar exposure."
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Wear a tank top in public.
Walk the line at graduation
Forgive Gina and Gray
Stop following. Start leading.
Drive a car again.
Kiss someone without flinching
Visit the Fountain of Youth
Once upon a time, there were four friends, two couples, who stopped being friends before they stopped being couples. Little questions niggled the back of their heads like splinters buried in the skin. Questions of trust and intention. Who loved whom the most? What if he wasn’t the best person for her? What if she wasn’t?
No one talked about the questions, because talking ruined plausible deniability. Talking burst the bubble of innocence. Talking ended the happily ever after.
These were the truths they believed.
And they were lies.
They should have talked while there was still something to say.
"From what I could tell, happiness was getting stuck with someone and never feeling stuck."
"Where one goes, the other follows."
"Scars tell a story, but this week, you decide what that story's going to be."
"Sometimes the journey to let someone love you is the journey to loving yourself."
"I missed Trent like I missed the person I used to be. Makeup covered parts of the my, scars, but nothing covered up grief.”
"I think maybe everyone is a mystery. Even the people we know really well."
"Then, somehow, you have to accept that you're still here, and that maybe, just maybe, there's a reason. Find the reason."
“Maybe forgiveness was giving the past less power to hurt me. Or even building new memories that were stronger than the painful ones.”This is an extremely character driven novel, but it does not have bad pacing. We spend so much time in Sadie’s head and while knowing her feelings about everything is good on one hand because we get to know her fully and completely, it’s hard to branch out and connect to the other characters.
“Sometimes a hand is an anchor. His held me to the world.”The romance was close to perfect; it added to the story and was not an in-your-face thing. Max is so supportive and the two are great together. Their relationship was one of my favorite elements of the book.
This is the turmoil, despair, and self consciousness lurking within Sadie. This is her trying to somehow come to terms with Trent's death, with her own newly scarred appearance, her fears, and her new obstacles. It's such a gorgeous and heartbreaking journey, tears are welling just thinking about it. I think that no matter what, everyone will find some aspect of Sadie to relate to. We've all suffered loss, and fears, and self doubt. We've all had roadblocks and challenges and gut wrenching sadness. So even when Sadie does things that may be selfish, or immature, or even self deprecating, it's so plain to see the pain she's in. The thing is, she never gives up. She may take a step back, but she always tries to regain her ground, eventually. Sadie was both broken and brave, and so incredibly, imperfectly human.
Ah, the relationships of Sadie. There are many, and they are all incredibly dynamic in nature.