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Lizzie Vogel #1
Man at the Helm
* * * NOMINATED FOR THE 2014 NATIONAL BOOK AWARDS AUDIOBOOK OF THE YEAR * * *
Man at the Helm, the debut novel from Nina Stibbe - the much-loved author of Love, Nina - is a wildly comic, brilliantly sharp-eyed novel about the horrors of being an attractive divorcée in an English village in the 1970s, and a family's fall from grace . . .
My sister and I and our little brother were born (in that order) into a very good situation and apart from the odd new thing life was humdrum and comfortable until an evening in 1970 when my mother listened in to my father's phone call and ended up blowing her nose on a tea towel - a thing she'd only have done in an absolute emergency.
Not long after her parents' separation, heralded by an awkward scene involving a wet Daily Telegraph and a pan of cold eggs, nine-year-old Lizzie Vogel, her sister and little brother and their now divorcée mother are packed off to a small, slightly hostile village in the English countryside. Their mother is all alone, only thirty-one years of age, with three young children and a Labrador. It is no wonder, when you put it like that, that she becomes a menace and a drunk. And a playwright.
Worried about the bad playwriting - though more about becoming wards of court and being sent to the infamous Crescent Home for Children - Lizzie and her sister decide to contact, by letter, suitable men in the area. In order to stave off the local social worker they urgently need to find a new Man at the Helm.
'All hail a book that's funny!' Barbara Trapido
'[A] joyous read, full of wit and charm . . . I am already longing for Nina Stibbe's next book' Observer
'Nine-year-old Lizzie (our narrator) is the perfect conduit for her creator, just the right mixture of childhood innocence and incredulity for the necessary deadpan delivery of Stibbe's particular brand of comedy. Read it and be charmed' Independent
'A beguilingly comic blend of naivety and precociousness' Sunday Times
Nina Stibbe was born in Leicester. She is the author of the hugely acclaimed Love, Nina, which was shortlisted for the Waterstones Book of the Year Award and won Non-Fiction Book of the Year at the 2014 National Book Awards. She lives in Cornwall with her partner and two children. Man at the Helm is her first novel.
Man at the Helm, the debut novel from Nina Stibbe - the much-loved author of Love, Nina - is a wildly comic, brilliantly sharp-eyed novel about the horrors of being an attractive divorcée in an English village in the 1970s, and a family's fall from grace . . .
My sister and I and our little brother were born (in that order) into a very good situation and apart from the odd new thing life was humdrum and comfortable until an evening in 1970 when my mother listened in to my father's phone call and ended up blowing her nose on a tea towel - a thing she'd only have done in an absolute emergency.
Not long after her parents' separation, heralded by an awkward scene involving a wet Daily Telegraph and a pan of cold eggs, nine-year-old Lizzie Vogel, her sister and little brother and their now divorcée mother are packed off to a small, slightly hostile village in the English countryside. Their mother is all alone, only thirty-one years of age, with three young children and a Labrador. It is no wonder, when you put it like that, that she becomes a menace and a drunk. And a playwright.
Worried about the bad playwriting - though more about becoming wards of court and being sent to the infamous Crescent Home for Children - Lizzie and her sister decide to contact, by letter, suitable men in the area. In order to stave off the local social worker they urgently need to find a new Man at the Helm.
'All hail a book that's funny!' Barbara Trapido
'[A] joyous read, full of wit and charm . . . I am already longing for Nina Stibbe's next book' Observer
'Nine-year-old Lizzie (our narrator) is the perfect conduit for her creator, just the right mixture of childhood innocence and incredulity for the necessary deadpan delivery of Stibbe's particular brand of comedy. Read it and be charmed' Independent
'A beguilingly comic blend of naivety and precociousness' Sunday Times
Nina Stibbe was born in Leicester. She is the author of the hugely acclaimed Love, Nina, which was shortlisted for the Waterstones Book of the Year Award and won Non-Fiction Book of the Year at the 2014 National Book Awards. She lives in Cornwall with her partner and two children. Man at the Helm is her first novel.
256 pages, Paperback
First published August 28, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 746 reviews
February 20, 2025
I cannot believe I read this 10 years ago! Wow. Well here is my original review.
When I read the blurb for this book I was super excited to read it, I really thought I was on to a winner with this book. I was expecting to be laughing out loud and smiling all the way through it. Instead I was groaning with boredom and wanting it all to end quickly and painlessly. Needless to say I felt this book was a real letdown.
Not long after her parents' separation, heralded by an awkward scene involving a wet Daily Telegraph and a pan of cold eggs, nine-year-old Lizzie Vogel, her sister and little brother and their now divorcée mother are packed off to a small, slightly hostile village in the English countryside. Their mother is all alone, only thirty-one years of age, with three young children and a Labrador. It is no wonder, when you put it like that, that she becomes a menace and a drunk. And a playwright.
So little Lizzie and her siblings move to a small village, you know the ones, where everyone knows your business? Their mother gains a reputation simply by being divorced (shock horror) but also because she is a bit, ahem, well....friendly to many local chaps, come in for a cup of coffee and stay the night type of thing.
The book is told purely from Lizzie's perspective, I found this got very boring after a while. The characters have no opportunity to shine either, I found them all very flat and one dimensional. This book should have been amazing, but it just wasn't.
The two sisters take it upon themselves to write a list of potential new suitors for the role of "Man at the Helm" or in other words, a man for their mother to help the family claw back some reputation and make their mother happy. They also take it upon themselves to set up some meetings between their mother and the suitors, which does have some lightly funny moments amongst it on the way.
There are some nice moments, even a few slightly funny moments in the book, but not enough to salvage it. By the middle of the book it was just dragging on with a load of waffle and minor events that I was nearly asleep reading it. I don't think I would have missed much.
Their mother is useless, she drinks (alcohol) from early in the day, says she is "not suited to household duties" so therefore their house is pigsty and the girls have to pick up the slack and also help with their younger brother who hardly speaks at all. It's not really explained why either. The girls worry about social services finding out and them being taken away, hence their passion to find a man to sort things out for them with their mother.
It's got some sad tones underneath really, things like the girls traveling to London on trains on their own (aged nine and twelve) to get their mother's pills from the only doctor in the country that will prescribe them. It's not stated what the pills are but good hints indicate they are something like Valium. Tragedy for these girls, playing the parental role almost in role reversal.
It just doesn't have anything spectacular going on, it's paced quite slow and that does not alter at all and after a while it's a bit like the same story on repeat. It's certainly not as funny as indicated it might be, which is a shame as I was looking forward to that. Overall it was a very average and "okay" read in my opinion. It has some moments that are great but the majority is as bland as watered down custard.
Love this one, or dislike this one, that's up to you now. It did not float my boat or ring my bell. I think I could have skipped to the end chapter and missing NOTHING in the middle.
I received an ARC of this book thanks to the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.
::~~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~~::
Thanks so much for reading my review!
I hope you enjoyed it, if you did I’d be delighted if you leave me a “like” and I love to read your comments. If you’d like to connect you can follow me or please send me a friend request.
You can also find me on Amazon U.K. where I am a Top 500 Reviewer.
If you are an Author or Publisher and you’d like me to consider reading and reviewing your book(s) please just message me.
When I read the blurb for this book I was super excited to read it, I really thought I was on to a winner with this book. I was expecting to be laughing out loud and smiling all the way through it. Instead I was groaning with boredom and wanting it all to end quickly and painlessly. Needless to say I felt this book was a real letdown.
Not long after her parents' separation, heralded by an awkward scene involving a wet Daily Telegraph and a pan of cold eggs, nine-year-old Lizzie Vogel, her sister and little brother and their now divorcée mother are packed off to a small, slightly hostile village in the English countryside. Their mother is all alone, only thirty-one years of age, with three young children and a Labrador. It is no wonder, when you put it like that, that she becomes a menace and a drunk. And a playwright.
So little Lizzie and her siblings move to a small village, you know the ones, where everyone knows your business? Their mother gains a reputation simply by being divorced (shock horror) but also because she is a bit, ahem, well....friendly to many local chaps, come in for a cup of coffee and stay the night type of thing.
The book is told purely from Lizzie's perspective, I found this got very boring after a while. The characters have no opportunity to shine either, I found them all very flat and one dimensional. This book should have been amazing, but it just wasn't.
The two sisters take it upon themselves to write a list of potential new suitors for the role of "Man at the Helm" or in other words, a man for their mother to help the family claw back some reputation and make their mother happy. They also take it upon themselves to set up some meetings between their mother and the suitors, which does have some lightly funny moments amongst it on the way.
There are some nice moments, even a few slightly funny moments in the book, but not enough to salvage it. By the middle of the book it was just dragging on with a load of waffle and minor events that I was nearly asleep reading it. I don't think I would have missed much.
Their mother is useless, she drinks (alcohol) from early in the day, says she is "not suited to household duties" so therefore their house is pigsty and the girls have to pick up the slack and also help with their younger brother who hardly speaks at all. It's not really explained why either. The girls worry about social services finding out and them being taken away, hence their passion to find a man to sort things out for them with their mother.
It's got some sad tones underneath really, things like the girls traveling to London on trains on their own (aged nine and twelve) to get their mother's pills from the only doctor in the country that will prescribe them. It's not stated what the pills are but good hints indicate they are something like Valium. Tragedy for these girls, playing the parental role almost in role reversal.
It just doesn't have anything spectacular going on, it's paced quite slow and that does not alter at all and after a while it's a bit like the same story on repeat. It's certainly not as funny as indicated it might be, which is a shame as I was looking forward to that. Overall it was a very average and "okay" read in my opinion. It has some moments that are great but the majority is as bland as watered down custard.
Love this one, or dislike this one, that's up to you now. It did not float my boat or ring my bell. I think I could have skipped to the end chapter and missing NOTHING in the middle.
I received an ARC of this book thanks to the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.
::~~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~~::
Thanks so much for reading my review!
I hope you enjoyed it, if you did I’d be delighted if you leave me a “like” and I love to read your comments. If you’d like to connect you can follow me or please send me a friend request.
You can also find me on Amazon U.K. where I am a Top 500 Reviewer.
If you are an Author or Publisher and you’d like me to consider reading and reviewing your book(s) please just message me.
November 27, 2019
I adore this book. Apparently I'm drawn to stories of hapless, overwhelmed mothers. I don't want to examine why!
I also have a soft spot for precocious-kid narrators, and Nina Stibbe excels at this voice, having been a wise-ass kid herself. Man is Stibbe's fictionalized account of her mother and siblings' post-divorce move to a small village where the locals routinely snub (and occasionally exploit) them.
This may not sound like promising ground for comedy, but Stibbe beautifully mines the irony of how much better equipped the kids are for dealing with the upheaval and even the rejection than their mother. A nifty and loving snapshot of earliest-1970s culture, class-consciousness, and women's issues, with one very good dog thrown in for good measure.
My go-to book to reread when I need to laugh.
I also have a soft spot for precocious-kid narrators, and Nina Stibbe excels at this voice, having been a wise-ass kid herself. Man is Stibbe's fictionalized account of her mother and siblings' post-divorce move to a small village where the locals routinely snub (and occasionally exploit) them.
This may not sound like promising ground for comedy, but Stibbe beautifully mines the irony of how much better equipped the kids are for dealing with the upheaval and even the rejection than their mother. A nifty and loving snapshot of earliest-1970s culture, class-consciousness, and women's issues, with one very good dog thrown in for good measure.
My go-to book to reread when I need to laugh.
October 12, 2022
Nina Stibbe is one of the rare authors who can talk about the sad, tragic, painfully shameful in such a way that it is impossible not to laugh. The unique talent and gold standard of the author of humorous prose, her books largely have an autobiographical basis. This is a mature gift that has managed to wait for its time. Imagine. that her first novel "With Love, Nina" (Love, Nina) was based on the impressions of thirty years ago from working in 1982-1984 as a nanny in the house of Mary K. Wilmers, editor-in-chief of the London Book Review.
Letters to my sister. written in those two years, formed the basis of the debut book, which was released in 2013 and was adapted by Netflix with Faye Marcy and Helena Bonham-Carter. And a year later, the autobiographical "The Man at the Helm" appeared. And right now, Phantom Press has released "Paradise", (Paradise Lodge, and I decided to read the backstory before reading it. And I'm charmed.
It's laughter through pain and instead of tears. A story of understanding and forgiveness instead of accusations and hatred, of which there are so many in today's life.
Сам себе ты рулевой
Но дело в том, что никто не может справиться с жизнью один, – если он по-настоящему один.
Англия, начало семидесятых, семья из верхушки среднего класса. Хороший лондонский дом с кухаркой и экономкой, личный водитель и крахмальные скатерти со столовым серебром. Трое детей: девочки одиннадцати и девяти лет, младший мальчик. Красавица мама, папа управляет наследной фирмой и дома бывает редко, а когда бывает, главное внимание уделяет манерам детей. Все скучно и респектабельно. До тех пор, пока не выясняется, что у папы роман с сотрудником.
Думаете будет про повесточку? Не угадали. После развода, который происходит как-то неприлично быстро, папа еще более стремительно женится на молодой красотке, и они принимаются плодиться и размножаться. Маме и детям куплен дом в деревне. Замечательно красивый дом в крайне недружелюбной деревне. Дело даже не в том, что между аборигенами и новыми сельскими жителями классовая пропасть. Дело в том, что мама одинокая разведенка, а в начале семидесятых женщина с детьми, но не в браке - это почти неприличный статус. Не говоря о том, что красивая одинокая женщина может представлять угрозу стабильности.
Местное общество отторгает их, выключенные из прежней жизни, не включенные в новую, они как между небом и землей. Мама в депрессии, которую глушит сначала алкоголем, позже добавляются успокоительные, и я сильно сомневаюсь, что это препараты лития, в семидесятые возможно в качестве антидепрессантов еще назначались производные лизергиновой кислоты. Так или иначе, их богатый дом неуютен, дети выглядят запущенными, а угроза попасть в органы опеки - все более реальной.
Срочно нужен Человек, который встанет у руля, наведет порядок в этой неразберихе, вернет маме покой и самоуважение. а семье респектабельный статус. Девочки принимаются искать такого. Совершенно четкая логика. Они пытаются устроить мамину жизнь не из странного стремления иметь отчима, а потому что уже травмированы жизненным крушением и боятся не пережить следующего. Череда грустных для участников и уморительно смешных для читателя событий проистекает оттуда, из вечного детского ужаса \перед сиротством и бездомностью.
Нина Стиббе из редких авторов, которые могут рассказывать о печальном, трагичном, болезненно-стыдном так, что невозможно не смеяться. Уникальный талант и золотой стандарт автора юмористической прозы, ее книги во многом имеют автобиографическую основу. Это зрелый дар, сумевший дождаться своего времени. Представьте. что в основу первого ее романа "С любовью, Нина" (Love, Nina) легли впечатления тридцатилетней давности от работы в 1982-1984 няней в доме Мэри-Кей Уилмерс, главного редактора Лондонского книжного обозрения.
Письма к сестре. написанные в те два года, легли в основу дебютной книги, которая вышла в 2013 и была экранизирована Netflix c Фэй Марси и Хеленой Бонем-Картер. А еще через год явился автобиографический "Человек у руля" . И вот прямо сейчас Фантом Пресс выпустил "Райский уголок", (Paradise Lodge, и я решила прочесть предысторию прежде, чем читать его. И я очарована.
Это смех сквозь боль и вместо слез. История понимания и прощения взамен обвинений и ненависти, которых так много в сегодняшней жизни.
Letters to my sister. written in those two years, formed the basis of the debut book, which was released in 2013 and was adapted by Netflix with Faye Marcy and Helena Bonham-Carter. And a year later, the autobiographical "The Man at the Helm" appeared. And right now, Phantom Press has released "Paradise", (Paradise Lodge, and I decided to read the backstory before reading it. And I'm charmed.
It's laughter through pain and instead of tears. A story of understanding and forgiveness instead of accusations and hatred, of which there are so many in today's life.
Сам себе ты рулевой
Но дело в том, что никто не может справиться с жизнью один, – если он по-настоящему один.
Англия, начало семидесятых, семья из верхушки среднего класса. Хороший лондонский дом с кухаркой и экономкой, личный водитель и крахмальные скатерти со столовым серебром. Трое детей: девочки одиннадцати и девяти лет, младший мальчик. Красавица мама, папа управляет наследной фирмой и дома бывает редко, а когда бывает, главное внимание уделяет манерам детей. Все скучно и респектабельно. До тех пор, пока не выясняется, что у папы роман с сотрудником.
Думаете будет про повесточку? Не угадали. После развода, который происходит как-то неприлично быстро, папа еще более стремительно женится на молодой красотке, и они принимаются плодиться и размножаться. Маме и детям куплен дом в деревне. Замечательно красивый дом в крайне недружелюбной деревне. Дело даже не в том, что между аборигенами и новыми сельскими жителями классовая пропасть. Дело в том, что мама одинокая разведенка, а в начале семидесятых женщина с детьми, но не в браке - это почти неприличный статус. Не говоря о том, что красивая одинокая женщина может представлять угрозу стабильности.
Местное общество отторгает их, выключенные из прежней жизни, не включенные в новую, они как между небом и землей. Мама в депрессии, которую глушит сначала алкоголем, позже добавляются успокоительные, и я сильно сомневаюсь, что это препараты лития, в семидесятые возможно в качестве антидепрессантов еще назначались производные лизергиновой кислоты. Так или иначе, их богатый дом неуютен, дети выглядят запущенными, а угроза попасть в органы опеки - все более реальной.
Срочно нужен Человек, который встанет у руля, наведет порядок в этой неразберихе, вернет маме покой и самоуважение. а семье респектабельный статус. Девочки принимаются искать такого. Совершенно четкая логика. Они пытаются устроить мамину жизнь не из странного стремления иметь отчима, а потому что уже травмированы жизненным крушением и боятся не пережить следующего. Череда грустных для участников и уморительно смешных для читателя событий проистекает оттуда, из вечного детского ужаса \перед сиротством и бездомностью.
Нина Стиббе из редких авторов, которые могут рассказывать о печальном, трагичном, болезненно-стыдном так, что невозможно не смеяться. Уникальный талант и золотой стандарт автора юмористической прозы, ее книги во многом имеют автобиографическую основу. Это зрелый дар, сумевший дождаться своего времени. Представьте. что в основу первого ее романа "С любовью, Нина" (Love, Nina) легли впечатления тридцатилетней давности от работы в 1982-1984 няней в доме Мэри-Кей Уилмерс, главного редактора Лондонского книжного обозрения.
Письма к сестре. написанные в те два года, легли в основу дебютной книги, которая вышла в 2013 и была экранизирована Netflix c Фэй Марси и Хеленой Бонем-Картер. А еще через год явился автобиографический "Человек у руля" . И вот прямо сейчас Фантом Пресс выпустил "Райский уголок", (Paradise Lodge, и я решила прочесть предысторию прежде, чем читать его. И я очарована.
Это смех сквозь боль и вместо слез. История понимания и прощения взамен обвинений и ненависти, которых так много в сегодняшней жизни.
November 22, 2014
This book doesn't fit into a category easily. I found it to be very funny, but I felt uneasy and anxious pretty much the whole time I was reading it. The young narrator is compelling and the whole family is believable but odd. And endearing. Somehow they either laugh or accept with a shrug every crazy thing that happens to them, so I tried to, but I just kept feeling like things could spiral out of control at any moment. The kids articulate this feeling in their worry that they'll get sent away to a home because their mother isn't doing a good job of taking care of them. So I guess I took on their anxiety, and it was combined with my own outrage at the mother's inability to parent, but then I also took on their desire to take care of her. An odd set of feelings, but I guess that means that the writing took me on that journey. And again, moment to moment, a lot of it is very funny (albeit with a British sensibility, and there were times I thought I might not be getting some of the humor as it was referring to things I didn't know about).
Confused? I guess I am, but I do recommend it.
Copies of this book were provided to my book club by Little, Brown.
Confused? I guess I am, but I do recommend it.
Copies of this book were provided to my book club by Little, Brown.
December 6, 2018
I was planning on giving this book a solid four stars. It is funny. And clever. It has this perfect balance between darkness and humor; pain and hitting your funnybone. But then I decided I had to give it five stars because dear Lord look at all these people that have given it 2 stars or a DNF. And look at its overall rating. It certainly deserves higher than a 3.54.
It's a sad sort of a bedraggled funny which is just my cup of tea.
People complained because the characters were not developed fully. But people, look at who the narrator is. It's a little girl. She's giving this whole thing from her point of view. She is not going to develop characters. But if you want a developed character look at Maxwell the pony. You can't develop a pony more than that pony is developed.
It's a sad sort of a bedraggled funny which is just my cup of tea.
People complained because the characters were not developed fully. But people, look at who the narrator is. It's a little girl. She's giving this whole thing from her point of view. She is not going to develop characters. But if you want a developed character look at Maxwell the pony. You can't develop a pony more than that pony is developed.
July 28, 2014
Before I even start the review ..Go out and buy this book immediately !
The story begins when a young wife overhears a phone conversation that she should not have heard between her husband and I assumed his lover.This will alter her entire life.
The story is told by her daughter Lizzie , she is a comical little girl of 9 and is the middle child. She has an older sister and a younger brother called little Jack. All their lives are altered when they leave their dad and move with their mother to a little English Village . Their mother is really struggling being alone , she really needs a man in her life so her children take it upon themselves to find her a man which causes many comical moments throughout the book. The book is not all funny as there is more serious and tender parts that really make you think and feel sorry for the characters . My favourite character is Lizzie, she is an optimist and has great spirit and motivation. If you enjoy a book with great female lead characters that will also leave you feeling happy then this is the book for you.
I received this book from the lovely people over at Lovereading.co.uk.
This book is going to be published in August 2014 and you will be able to buy it from Lovereading.co.uk and all other good bookstores then.
The story begins when a young wife overhears a phone conversation that she should not have heard between her husband and I assumed his lover.This will alter her entire life.
The story is told by her daughter Lizzie , she is a comical little girl of 9 and is the middle child. She has an older sister and a younger brother called little Jack. All their lives are altered when they leave their dad and move with their mother to a little English Village . Their mother is really struggling being alone , she really needs a man in her life so her children take it upon themselves to find her a man which causes many comical moments throughout the book. The book is not all funny as there is more serious and tender parts that really make you think and feel sorry for the characters . My favourite character is Lizzie, she is an optimist and has great spirit and motivation. If you enjoy a book with great female lead characters that will also leave you feeling happy then this is the book for you.
I received this book from the lovely people over at Lovereading.co.uk.
This book is going to be published in August 2014 and you will be able to buy it from Lovereading.co.uk and all other good bookstores then.
March 17, 2018
I enjoyed this book, in fact it made me laugh aloud in a few places. It is based in the early 1970s and took me back to when being a child of divorced parents was rare and unusual. The story centres around 3 children and their Mum and is told from Lizzie's point of view, who is the middle child. Lizzie and her sister decide that they need a "man at the helm" of their family. They embark on a crusade to find a suitable man, and the book is based on that. However, we learn a lot about a dysfunctional family and impact of others behaviour on the family. I love the way Nina Stibbe writes and adored "Love, Nina", this doesn't match that book but it's an enjoyable and light read with a lot of laughs thrown in.
November 1, 2015
Let me tell you how delicious this book is: Jane-Austen delicious. The particular pleasures of a Jane Austen book are wit and dignity in the face of impending financial doom. The doom is caused by crazy relatives and simply being a dependent female in a male-centric world, and the only cure is to find a good man.
Man at the Helm manages to take this antiquated, politically dicey formula and make it work in 1970's England with a nine-year-old narrator, her wise 11-year-old sister, and their sweet stammering little brother. Like Lizzie Bennet, Lizzie Vogel has to find a man, but not for herself. "If a lone female is left," says Lizzie's sister, "especially if divorced, without a man at the helm, all the friends and family and acquaintances run away.'" So the sisters begin a list of potential helmsmen, and on that list goes practically every man in the hostile village they've been exiled to after their father has an affair with a man named Phil and then re-marries, starting a new, cuter family.
Crazy Relative #1 is not their father, though. It's their beautiful, shell-shocked, socially-awkward mother, who takes to drink and begins to consume a disturbing number of anti-depressants. This would be tragic except for the tone and point-of-view: the girls' innocence allows them to see more of their mother's endearing traits than her self-destructive ones, and their mother actually is endearing. Her peak life experience was winning a playwriting contest in high school, so she manically, pathetically filters tragedy through farce. At every desperate moment, Mrs. Vogel writes snippets of unfinished scenes that show the droll side of her absurd predicament, and Lizzie constantly finds bits of dialogue like:
Adele: I see you've remarried.
Roderick: Yes, a more accomplished woman with a nice tinkling laugh.
Adele: But plumper?
Roderick: Well, not a boyish stick like you.
Adele: But you like boyish sticks.
Roderick: Not any more. I now prefer accomplished pears.
The rich, painful comedy that ensues as the girls take the train by themselves to London to procure side orders of pills for their mother, write letters to men in their mother's voice, and take over the housekeeping kept me happily knees-up in bed for hours, and that trickiest of all novel parts--the ending--is better than pie, better even than Victorian sponge-cake with hot tea.
Man at the Helm manages to take this antiquated, politically dicey formula and make it work in 1970's England with a nine-year-old narrator, her wise 11-year-old sister, and their sweet stammering little brother. Like Lizzie Bennet, Lizzie Vogel has to find a man, but not for herself. "If a lone female is left," says Lizzie's sister, "especially if divorced, without a man at the helm, all the friends and family and acquaintances run away.'" So the sisters begin a list of potential helmsmen, and on that list goes practically every man in the hostile village they've been exiled to after their father has an affair with a man named Phil and then re-marries, starting a new, cuter family.
Crazy Relative #1 is not their father, though. It's their beautiful, shell-shocked, socially-awkward mother, who takes to drink and begins to consume a disturbing number of anti-depressants. This would be tragic except for the tone and point-of-view: the girls' innocence allows them to see more of their mother's endearing traits than her self-destructive ones, and their mother actually is endearing. Her peak life experience was winning a playwriting contest in high school, so she manically, pathetically filters tragedy through farce. At every desperate moment, Mrs. Vogel writes snippets of unfinished scenes that show the droll side of her absurd predicament, and Lizzie constantly finds bits of dialogue like:
Adele: I see you've remarried.
Roderick: Yes, a more accomplished woman with a nice tinkling laugh.
Adele: But plumper?
Roderick: Well, not a boyish stick like you.
Adele: But you like boyish sticks.
Roderick: Not any more. I now prefer accomplished pears.
The rich, painful comedy that ensues as the girls take the train by themselves to London to procure side orders of pills for their mother, write letters to men in their mother's voice, and take over the housekeeping kept me happily knees-up in bed for hours, and that trickiest of all novel parts--the ending--is better than pie, better even than Victorian sponge-cake with hot tea.
September 23, 2014
Oh how I really wanted to love this book with all of its quirky charm and precocious narrator. I’m not sure what happened for me with Man at the Helm, but I just had so much trouble getting invested in it. Looking at other reviews, it seems as if I’m in the minority!
I think one of the biggest issues for me was the way the book was written. I felt as if Lizzie was just talking at me the whole time and that there was no depth at all to any of the character interactions or indeed the scenery and setting in the book. The village didn’t ‘come alive’ for me and I couldn’t really picture in my head any of the conversations the characters were having. That's always a red flag for me.
Man at the Helm is very dry—so maybe that’s just not my thing. I’ve seen it described as ‘hilarious’ and ‘laugh out loud funny’ but I didn’t get that from it at all. Sure there were some scenes that were humorous, but I didn’t laugh out loud at any point.
Stibbe's novel wasn't horrible, and again, I really wanted to like this book but it just didn’t do it for me.
I think one of the biggest issues for me was the way the book was written. I felt as if Lizzie was just talking at me the whole time and that there was no depth at all to any of the character interactions or indeed the scenery and setting in the book. The village didn’t ‘come alive’ for me and I couldn’t really picture in my head any of the conversations the characters were having. That's always a red flag for me.
Man at the Helm is very dry—so maybe that’s just not my thing. I’ve seen it described as ‘hilarious’ and ‘laugh out loud funny’ but I didn’t get that from it at all. Sure there were some scenes that were humorous, but I didn’t laugh out loud at any point.
Stibbe's novel wasn't horrible, and again, I really wanted to like this book but it just didn’t do it for me.
September 14, 2014
If a book can make you laugh out loud one moment and cry tears of sadness the next I think it's pretty brilliant. I'm sure this won't be for everyone - it's sometimes silly and over the top but completely entertaining. I just closed the cover and I'm already missing the company of 9 year old Lizzie and her family.
dnf
June 12, 2015Received this via Goodreads FirstReads in exchange for an honest review.
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I tried, Lovely concept but couldn't get into it... case of "it's not the book it's me" I suppose. I got another of hers in the same volume as this so I'll read that one at some point.
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I tried, Lovely concept but couldn't get into it... case of "it's not the book it's me" I suppose. I got another of hers in the same volume as this so I'll read that one at some point.
July 29, 2014
If you liked 'Love, Nina' (and if you didn't, stop reading my review, we're clearly not going to get on), you will love this too.
In 'Love, Nina', random things seemed to happen and then were never referred to again such as the incident where Nina struggled to write in her life-writing class to reproduce the incident where they led a horse upstairs. Well, if you ever wanted to find out what happened (to the horse and to the attempt to write it), you'll find out here.
In 1970s Leicestershire, Lizzie Vogel is nine when her father decides that ‘he was now in love with Phil from the factory’. His three children and soon-to-be ex-wife are sent away to live in a house he buys for them in a distant village (fifteen miles away being immeasurably far away back then).
Without a ‘man at the helm’, the family finds themselves ostracized by the community and the novel follows what happens in the quest to find a new man to steer the Vogel ship.
Although narrated by the adult Lizzie, the voice is still that of a nine-year-old and there gives emotional tug and pull between what a child sees and feels and what the wisdom and hindsight of adulthood give.
But mainly, it’s funny, very funny, a novel that reads like a memoir and probably is a partial chronicle of the writer’s life before the events of ‘Love, Nina’.
In 'Love, Nina', random things seemed to happen and then were never referred to again such as the incident where Nina struggled to write in her life-writing class to reproduce the incident where they led a horse upstairs. Well, if you ever wanted to find out what happened (to the horse and to the attempt to write it), you'll find out here.
In 1970s Leicestershire, Lizzie Vogel is nine when her father decides that ‘he was now in love with Phil from the factory’. His three children and soon-to-be ex-wife are sent away to live in a house he buys for them in a distant village (fifteen miles away being immeasurably far away back then).
Without a ‘man at the helm’, the family finds themselves ostracized by the community and the novel follows what happens in the quest to find a new man to steer the Vogel ship.
Although narrated by the adult Lizzie, the voice is still that of a nine-year-old and there gives emotional tug and pull between what a child sees and feels and what the wisdom and hindsight of adulthood give.
But mainly, it’s funny, very funny, a novel that reads like a memoir and probably is a partial chronicle of the writer’s life before the events of ‘Love, Nina’.
February 7, 2015
I really loved this book. It's a very difficult thing to have your narrator be a young person and not have them come across as all ridiculous and precocious, I'm looking at you Flavia de Luce.
Lizzie, this narrator, does not come across that way. There is a reality and a feeling of being anchored in life that are so strong in her that you can't help but cheer her on.
Also, there is that one scene that catches you unaware while riding the bus to work on a Friday morning and you burst into tears. Brilliant.
Lizzie, this narrator, does not come across that way. There is a reality and a feeling of being anchored in life that are so strong in her that you can't help but cheer her on.
Also, there is that one scene that catches you unaware while riding the bus to work on a Friday morning and you burst into tears. Brilliant.
November 5, 2014
My first thoughts reading this book were critical of the flippant nature Nina Stibbe dealt with a serious situation following the fall-out of a marriage break-up. Then, after a little more pondering, I realised that the story was told through the eyes of 10 year old Lizzie who did not have the insight or understanding of the situation but merely coped with it in the best way she could. What we were getting from this author was a light hearted surface and an invitation to look beyond this into the reality of life for the depressed mother and her three children.
The view of the world through the middle child's eyes was beautifully portrayed. Sometimes laugh aloud funny, sometimes tragic but always with purpose and plan. The resilience of children was well drawn as was their need to make things better and right. Recommended.
The view of the world through the middle child's eyes was beautifully portrayed. Sometimes laugh aloud funny, sometimes tragic but always with purpose and plan. The resilience of children was well drawn as was their need to make things better and right. Recommended.
May 4, 2018
The Man At The Helm is an irresistible debut novel by Nina Stibbe. It is a laugh out loud and very funny!
After Lizzie's mother had listened to her husband's phone call, the following morning she took a pan of eggs and flung it over her husband. He screamed like a girl expecting it to be hot and fell of his chair.
Lizzie's mother tried to break the news to her three children that mummy and daddy have decided to split up and get a divorce.
Their father bought them all a house in a village fifteen miles away from the city.
With their mother's unhappiness the children agreed that their main aim in life would be to find their mother a new husband.
With this bright idea finding their mum a new husband they decided to contact, by letter, the suitable men in their new area and invite them to have a drink with their mother and hope that it would lead to marriage.
After Lizzie's mother had listened to her husband's phone call, the following morning she took a pan of eggs and flung it over her husband. He screamed like a girl expecting it to be hot and fell of his chair.
Lizzie's mother tried to break the news to her three children that mummy and daddy have decided to split up and get a divorce.
Their father bought them all a house in a village fifteen miles away from the city.
With their mother's unhappiness the children agreed that their main aim in life would be to find their mother a new husband.
With this bright idea finding their mum a new husband they decided to contact, by letter, the suitable men in their new area and invite them to have a drink with their mother and hope that it would lead to marriage.
December 3, 2014
I was in equal measures horrified and amused by this story of parental neglect and children fending for themselves. It's a wonderful recreation of a period in recent history - the 1970s - yet it has a much older feel to it, an innocence perhaps better suited to the 1950s. As for the children, their wit and self-sufficiency, their curious mix of worldliness and naivety, reminded me of The Treasure Seekers or The Railway Children.
There are plenty of hilarious incidents and misunderstandings (as well as some rather darker ones which manage to avoid sentimentalism), but the book does feel a little episodic. More of a patchwork of delectable set pieces but not a clear overall pattern or purpose.
There are plenty of hilarious incidents and misunderstandings (as well as some rather darker ones which manage to avoid sentimentalism), but the book does feel a little episodic. More of a patchwork of delectable set pieces but not a clear overall pattern or purpose.
May 3, 2017
I very much enjoyed Stibbe's Love, Nina when I read it last year, but ultimately found Man at the Helm rather disappointing. In it, Stibbe covers many of the same themes as in Love, Nina, and whilst it was lighthearted and funny, it lacked any real depth. I do like Stibbe's writing style, but the same ground was covered again and again, to the extent that it became almost horribly repetitive. It did not hold my interest past the 70-page mark, and never really picked up again. A shame.
did-not-finish
January 3, 2017I really loved how this novel started and it showed great promise in humor and story. Not long after the first few chapters it started dragging pretty badly, lots of repetition, nothing new introduced except minor variations of the same. I was starting new books and not caring about going back to it. Just in case I read another chapter, and decided I was not willing to read the final 2/3.
July 25, 2014
A nice quirky tale of a family who lose the man in their life resulting in the children thinking that they will have to help their mum find a new one! This is the first real novel from the pen of Nina Stibbe, although she has already had "Love, Nina" published - a series of letters written between her and her sister whilst working as a nanny in London. Ms Stibbe clearly has a way with words with a style all of her own. This novel, as with her previous work, is easy to read and explores numerous characters, mainly through the eyes of the children of the piece, which gives it a simplistic quality but not to the detriment of either the story or the style in which it is written, nor does it treat the reader as "simplistic", quite the opposite in fact. A book that is hard to put down - I always reached a point where I thought that will do for now, but ended up reading a bit more anyway. I particularly like that there is plenty of humour in here. I would definitely look out for Ms Stibbe's next literary venture!
April 6, 2016
A rather strange throwback of a novel. A cross between I Captured the Castle and Just William stories with a dash of P.G.Wodehouse thrown in. It's set in the early 1970s but could just as easily be the 1920s or 30s with its family living on inherited family business income and employing housekeepers and chauffeurs (at the start of the book). Narrated in the first person by the younger daughter, I found it funny and verbally dazzling for the first hundred pages or so but then the situations (the children's' search for the titular 'Man at the Helm' - a new partner for their mother) and the 'Just William' type escapades become repetitious. It's parade of rather stereotypical men also seem from a different, long gone era (e.g. The conman spiv).
Nevertheless, a generally light entertaining read - especially on a long journey.
Nevertheless, a generally light entertaining read - especially on a long journey.
April 27, 2015
I thought this book would be edgy and funny. Instead, I found it sad and disturbing, as the tween daughters set their mother up with any random male, married or not, to replace their father as the "man at the helm", often overhearing the sexual encounters that resulted, and enduring their mother's moods when the married men scurried off home.
The thing I found most disturbing was the casual cruelty of the characters, and the neglect shown the children by both parents for the majority of the book. The mother finally gets her act together at the end, but it is a long and tortuous road getting there.
The thing I found most disturbing was the casual cruelty of the characters, and the neglect shown the children by both parents for the majority of the book. The mother finally gets her act together at the end, but it is a long and tortuous road getting there.
January 16, 2018
Absolutely LOVED this book. It made me smile, chuckle, laugh out loud, and even cry. The writing is fab, every character brilliantly brought to life. Can't put into words how much I enjoyed reading it, but I would give it 10 out of 5 if I could. Ps I liked 'Love, Nina,' too, but this one's even better.
October 10, 2024
This book was such a droll and unexpected delight! It was witty and charming even when touching on decidedly un-charming events. I found it while browsing the shelves at the library after picking up another book I’d put on hold.
I love when the universe sends a good book to you out of the blue. I found one of my favorite books, The Philosopher’s Flight by Tom Miller, the same way. 📚 🤓 📖
I love when the universe sends a good book to you out of the blue. I found one of my favorite books, The Philosopher’s Flight by Tom Miller, the same way. 📚 🤓 📖
October 8, 2022
Despite taking me forever to read I did enjoy this book. It’s sad, funny, warm but definitely not a page turner!
February 17, 2024
This is really a 6-star book. Funny on every page and a charm to read. Brilliant from the first paragraph and never lost it.
July 10, 2015
I am a sucker for smart, precocious narrators, but it took me a while to click with 9 year-old Lizzie. Her world, via the author's dark humor, borders on the absurd. But once I accepted Lizzie's reality, filled with ponies, an absentee father,a drunk & drugged mother, casual observations of sex and worry over a selectively deaf little brother, I enjoyed this novel.
I love it's observations of relationships. Whether it's the big vs little sister dynamic, or the brutal disappointment of love gone wrong, Stibble does a great job of writing honestly and with a lot of humor. I struggled with Lizzie 's mom and her status as helpless victim -- but there's a payoff that probably wouldn't have worked any other way.
Quick and enjoyable. Easy to recommend for readers who can laugh at the dark side of life.
Read alike
Behind the Scenes at the Museum
I love it's observations of relationships. Whether it's the big vs little sister dynamic, or the brutal disappointment of love gone wrong, Stibble does a great job of writing honestly and with a lot of humor. I struggled with Lizzie 's mom and her status as helpless victim -- but there's a payoff that probably wouldn't have worked any other way.
Quick and enjoyable. Easy to recommend for readers who can laugh at the dark side of life.
Read alike
Behind the Scenes at the Museum
May 3, 2018
Come al solito great expectations but...
La scorsa estate mi sono imbattuta, quasi per caso, in 'Love, Nina' e siccome non facevo altro che piangere, l'avevo trovato una boccata di ossigeno, un pomeriggio in cui ho riso abbastanza, mi sono divertita e ho trovato una mini serie tv piacevole e divertente. Mi sono lanciata, quindi, sul questo libro certa di ritrovarvi la stessa atmosfera e lo stesso spirito. Beh mi sbagliavo, pure noiosetto a tratti.
Da leggere? Ma no, guardatevi 'Love, Nina' in terrazza e con una birra ghiacciata.
La scorsa estate mi sono imbattuta, quasi per caso, in 'Love, Nina' e siccome non facevo altro che piangere, l'avevo trovato una boccata di ossigeno, un pomeriggio in cui ho riso abbastanza, mi sono divertita e ho trovato una mini serie tv piacevole e divertente. Mi sono lanciata, quindi, sul questo libro certa di ritrovarvi la stessa atmosfera e lo stesso spirito. Beh mi sbagliavo, pure noiosetto a tratti.
Da leggere? Ma no, guardatevi 'Love, Nina' in terrazza e con una birra ghiacciata.
October 22, 2015
Charming book following the numerous ups and many more downs of A mother, her three children and Debbie the Dog. So touching in places as it is narrated through the voice of the middle child who doesn't always fully understand what is going on in her newly single mother's now difficult life. Some classic comedy moments as well made for a thoroughly enjoyable and worthwhile read. Original to boot which is always refreshing.
December 19, 2016
Off kilter humor about a deeply dysfunctional but ultimately appealing family. A great read if you are willing to run with the voice of Lizzie, our ten to eleven year-old guide to the Vogel clan. Perfect for fans of I Captured the Castle, Stella Gibbons, Barbara Trapido and Maria Semple. I won't be recommending this to everyone since some folks will be bored and others upset by a family in utter disarray.
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