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This Is How You Love Her: A Journey to Radical Self-Love
Not yet published
Expected 4 Aug 26A fiercely candid, funny, and sometimes heartbreaking blend of memoir and self-help on vulnerability, identity, and reclaiming your life
What if you didn't need Bali to find yourself? For fourteen years, Traci Saulsberry led communications at NBC, becoming one of the youngest Black executives at the company. She had everything a modern woman is told to want―the house, her son, the high-powered job. But when her carefully constructed life collapsed, Saulsberry was confronted with a question she'd been avoiding for Who was she, really?
Here I was, caught on my heels, with no backup lover to pick up the slack. Naturally, because I am a product of an adolescence spent binging rom-coms filled with sweeping tales, I wanted to run away and leave it all behind. I romanticized that there must be a flight to the farthest island on the edge of the world where I could just start over again. My archnemesis, reality, quickly snapped me out of that daydream. I wasn't going anywhere. I felt trapped.
This Is How You Love Her is a vulnerable narrative guide to uncovering your identity in life's small moments, right where you are. With wit and insight, heart and cinematic prose, Saulsberry weaves together pages from her journal, conversational guides, poetry, and reflection prompts in this memoir-meets-guide that gives listeners permission to get to know themselves at their own pace.
For anyone who's ever lost themselves in work, relationships, or the image they built to survive―this is your roadmap home. And this is how you love her.
What if you didn't need Bali to find yourself? For fourteen years, Traci Saulsberry led communications at NBC, becoming one of the youngest Black executives at the company. She had everything a modern woman is told to want―the house, her son, the high-powered job. But when her carefully constructed life collapsed, Saulsberry was confronted with a question she'd been avoiding for Who was she, really?
Here I was, caught on my heels, with no backup lover to pick up the slack. Naturally, because I am a product of an adolescence spent binging rom-coms filled with sweeping tales, I wanted to run away and leave it all behind. I romanticized that there must be a flight to the farthest island on the edge of the world where I could just start over again. My archnemesis, reality, quickly snapped me out of that daydream. I wasn't going anywhere. I felt trapped.
This Is How You Love Her is a vulnerable narrative guide to uncovering your identity in life's small moments, right where you are. With wit and insight, heart and cinematic prose, Saulsberry weaves together pages from her journal, conversational guides, poetry, and reflection prompts in this memoir-meets-guide that gives listeners permission to get to know themselves at their own pace.
For anyone who's ever lost themselves in work, relationships, or the image they built to survive―this is your roadmap home. And this is how you love her.
- GenresSelf Help
288 pages, Hardcover
Expected publication August 4, 2026
About the author
Traci Saulsberry
2 books15 followersI love love.
I write about all of its forms and all of its phases—messy, euphoric, ordinary, funny, heartbreaking, and, let's be honest, sometimes devastating.
Rom-coms are my favorite genre because I am certain we're all living our own little movies. I'm endlessly fascinated by the cinematic moments hidden in everyday life, and I love capturing them in my writing.
I live in Los Angeles with my beautiful son, Cameron, where you'll usually find me writing a dreamy poem, journaling, wandering bookstores, or reminding myself to pay attention to the ordinary moments that end up changing everything.
My hope is that my stories leave people feeling seen and remind them that the most important love story they'll ever live is the one they have with themselves.
NEWSLETTER: https://www.thisishowyouloveher.com/a...
INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/tracisaulsb...
I write about all of its forms and all of its phases—messy, euphoric, ordinary, funny, heartbreaking, and, let's be honest, sometimes devastating.
Rom-coms are my favorite genre because I am certain we're all living our own little movies. I'm endlessly fascinated by the cinematic moments hidden in everyday life, and I love capturing them in my writing.
I live in Los Angeles with my beautiful son, Cameron, where you'll usually find me writing a dreamy poem, journaling, wandering bookstores, or reminding myself to pay attention to the ordinary moments that end up changing everything.
My hope is that my stories leave people feeling seen and remind them that the most important love story they'll ever live is the one they have with themselves.
NEWSLETTER: https://www.thisishowyouloveher.com/a...
INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/tracisaulsb...
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This Is How You Love Her is the kind of memoir that reminds you healing never happens all at once. Traci Saulsberry takes readers through her coming-of-age story, the relationships that shaped her, the lessons motherhood brought, and the mindset it took to navigate corporate America while becoming one of the youngest Black executives at NBC.
The book is written like a play, which gives it a rhythm that feels personal and inviting. Between chapters, Saulsberry pauses to speak directly to Black women and fellow overthinkers, offering gentle reminders to loosen our grip on constant analysis and make room to actually feel, trust ourselves, and live.
I found myself underlining every time she returned to her journals. Watching expressive writing become a way for her to witness herself, process heartbreak, and reclaim parts of herself she thought she’d lost was powerful. As a therapist who practices bibliotherapy and expressive writing, I know the page can hold things we aren’t ready to say out loud, and this memoir captures that beautifully.
Reading about her professional journey was just as compelling. Saulsberry writes honestly about ambition, leadership, and what it costs to survive—and thrive—in spaces where you’re often the only one in the room. She never separates career from identity, showing how both were shaped by the same work of learning to love herself.
This is an encouraging memoir that feels like sitting down with a woman who’s lived enough life to stop pretending she has all the answers. Instead, she offers her story with honesty and trusts you’ll find pieces of your own inside it.
The book is written like a play, which gives it a rhythm that feels personal and inviting. Between chapters, Saulsberry pauses to speak directly to Black women and fellow overthinkers, offering gentle reminders to loosen our grip on constant analysis and make room to actually feel, trust ourselves, and live.
I found myself underlining every time she returned to her journals. Watching expressive writing become a way for her to witness herself, process heartbreak, and reclaim parts of herself she thought she’d lost was powerful. As a therapist who practices bibliotherapy and expressive writing, I know the page can hold things we aren’t ready to say out loud, and this memoir captures that beautifully.
Reading about her professional journey was just as compelling. Saulsberry writes honestly about ambition, leadership, and what it costs to survive—and thrive—in spaces where you’re often the only one in the room. She never separates career from identity, showing how both were shaped by the same work of learning to love herself.
This is an encouraging memoir that feels like sitting down with a woman who’s lived enough life to stop pretending she has all the answers. Instead, she offers her story with honesty and trusts you’ll find pieces of your own inside it.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
To start my review, I would like to thank Netgalley and Traci Salsbury for providing me an Advanced Readers Copy of this book in exchange for my honest review of this book.
Overall rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This was an incredibly written memoir.
This was a great story overall and I loved Traci’s progression and getting to see her story change in amazing ways over time. I related to Traci immensely and got some great life tips throughout the book! It was really cool to get to hear about a young black woman’s perspective working in a competitive work environment and I appreciated the dedication that was displayed in this memoir. My only reason why this wasn’t a five star review was simply that the beginning was a little long, but the pacing picked up quickly about halfway through the book. I really appreciated getting my first Netgalley Advanced Readers copy approved and I will look forward to reading more of Traci’s books in the future!
Overall rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This was an incredibly written memoir.
This was a great story overall and I loved Traci’s progression and getting to see her story change in amazing ways over time. I related to Traci immensely and got some great life tips throughout the book! It was really cool to get to hear about a young black woman’s perspective working in a competitive work environment and I appreciated the dedication that was displayed in this memoir. My only reason why this wasn’t a five star review was simply that the beginning was a little long, but the pacing picked up quickly about halfway through the book. I really appreciated getting my first Netgalley Advanced Readers copy approved and I will look forward to reading more of Traci’s books in the future!
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews