Feeling Loved: The Science of Nurturing Meaningful Connections and Building Lasting Happiness

by Jeanne Segal

Do your connections with friends, family, or romantic partners leave you feeling empty, dissatisfied, or out of sync? What you may be missing is the close bond that's only experienced with people who make us feel secure and valued--the experience of feeling loved.

Feeling Loved reframes the way we view love and connection and provides a new roadmap for getting the love we need. The book begins with a description of what we unwittingly do that hijacks our ability to feel loved and goes on to offer powerful researched-based tools to transform your relationships.

A clinical psychologist of more than thirty years and cofounder of Helpguide.org, author Jeanne Segal, PhD, is a pioneer in the psychology of connection. Her engaging and practical approach guides readers in developing new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting in order to make life-altering social and emotional changes.

In Feeling Loved, you will learn how to:
- Grasp the difference between being loved and feeling loved
- Identify the challenges that keep you from experiencing love and making others feel loved
- Use proven techniques to reduce stress and regulate out-of-control emotions
- Develop new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting to create emotional connections
- Transform your relationships with everyone in your life, from family and friends to coworkers

Segal makes new inroads into the science of relationships and explores the transformative power of nonverbal, face-to-face exchanges. Filled with inspirational, real-life stories, Feeling Loved provides a blueprint for getting the love and happiness we need.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Relationships, Mental Health

208 pages, Paperback

First published November 17, 2015

Reviews

[Kim Cataldo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I expected more from this book but it did help me start thinking about how feeling unloved as a child has effected other relationships.

[Rachel · Rating 1 out of 5]

This author goes on an anti-psychiatric med rant (stating that anti-depressants make it impossible to feel loved) for so long I could not make it through this book.

[Dante Erz · Rating 1 out of 5]

Admittedly, Feeling Loved is very far from my typical reading preferences, but it was an attempt to get out of my comfort zone. The format of the book is the telling of many stories that relate to the subject of the chapter. These stories are helpful because they give the reader a real life situation to make the subject more applicable. Segal, however, overuses these stories to the point where they dominate the book. The reader doesn’t get enough information of how to improve their life because so much of the book is taken up by the stories. Additionally to this, a large portion of the book is a marketing scheme for a specific meditation service. This is both useful and lessens the validity of Segal’s claims.

[Xuân Diệu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dạo gần đây mình muốn tìm hiểu về Thiền nên đã tìm và được gợi ý quyển sách này. Đây là một quyển sách thú vị. Mở đầu quyển sách, tác giả nói về cảm giác. Yêu và cảm giác được yêu hoàn toàn khác nhau. Trên thực tế, nhiều người cảm thấy cô độc vì không cảm thấy được yêu, và điều này dẫn đến trầm cảm, tự sát. Ví dụ, trong một gia đình, ba mẹ đều yêu thương 2 đứa trẻ như nhau theo một cách nào đó nhưng sẽ có đứa trẻ không cảm nhận được tình yêu thương của ba mẹ mà sinh chống đối. Khi người lớn hiểu được rằng, à, dù mình rất yêu con mình nhưng đứa bé dường như lại không cảm giác được yêu. Khi nhận ra vấn đề thì mới tìm cách giải quyết. Trong cuộc sống chúng ta cũng không ít lần gặp những tình huống tương tự. Ví dụ, người yêu mình rất tốt với mình nhưng mình cứ luôn ngờ vực, không cảm nhận được tình cảm đó. Loại năng lực cảm nhận này ảnh hưởng đến nhiều thứ cảm xúc khác trong cuộc sống. Với một đứa trẻ, hoặc một người bất kì, khi cảm thấy được yêu thương thì sẽ luôn có thái độ sống tích cực. Chính thái độ sống quyết định những điều tiếp theo.

Những thực tập thiền định trong sách sẽ giúp chúng ta tìm lại những cảm xúc chân thật.

[Cat Yanish · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book helpful and it had some good resources. I appreciated how it offered some alternatives to medication, and how it pointed at love as a way to deal with depression or anxiety. I didn’t really like the tone, I thought the book was actually a bit depressing, but it definitely helped me think of new ways to be a better communicator and to manage stress, so I’d recommend it to other people.

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to this book and thought it was pretty interesting. I didn't come away with anything definitive, just more of a desire to slow down and be aware of what I'm feeling and to disconnect from technology more.

[MissPosabule · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was short and well-written, but the advice sort of boiled down to "stop looking at your phone so much and go make a human connection". It was good advice, but I guess I was expecting something a little more profound.

[Naomi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a really basic level book that skims several tenets for giving and receiving love. It doesn't delve deeply but could be a good starting place for ideas on where you might want to dig more deeply elsewhere.

[Nathan Gokhool · Rating 3 out of 5]

Requred Readng for recovery

Wonderfully positive book of hope and guidance for people entering or in recovery i recomend it for either or you will find use for the techniques along your recovery Journey

[Ngoc Thao · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quyển này làm m��nh thất vọng vì không đào sâu về " CẢM GIÁC ĐƯỢC YÊU". Mạch chính của quyển này là về Stress/ căng thẳng / cách quản lý căng thẳng/ thiền định. "Cảm giác được yêu" chỉ là một mạch phụ mà đem đặt thành tiêu đề thì quá là lừa phỉnh.

[Morgan Sohl · Rating 2 out of 5]

I listened to this on audiobook. I think the book would probably be better but the narrator made this not fun to listen too.

[Angela Guerra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book. It includes good experiences and research.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very short read. My basic takeaway from the material is to be introspective & communicate well. Would have liked more practical information.

[LemontreeLime · Rating 4 out of 5]

Says quickly what most other books spend an extra 300 pages to say. Still worth the perusal.

[Sharon Pomeroy]

We need to show love more in life

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was helpful and gave me a lot to think about, but it didn't blow me away, either. I am glad to know about Dr. Segal's website, helpguide.org, and plan to use it a lot, especially the mindfulness tools and such. I would recommend this for those who are dealing with stress, feeling unloved, depression, anxiety, and the like. I think the way the book was organized is helpful, too, as she sort of sets the stage with some basic knowledge, uses case studies, gives you concrete tools, and more.

Note: I just saw on that website that she just passed away this year. Very sad. She left a great legacy of helping those who struggle with stress, mental illness, etc.

[Ms. Reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book from Goodreads First Reads in exchange for an honest review...

This book was "okay". It was very difficult for me to maintain interest in it, for the information started to feel very repetitive and boring. There were a lot of "scientific facts" behind connections between relationships and feelings of being loved vs. feeling loved, etc. but nothing I felt like I could actually benefit from, relate too, let alone receive advice from (though it did have some solid advice scattered throughout the book). This book wasn't bad and I'm sure it can benefit someone who deals with relationship or commitment problems, but it failed to captivate me and keep me interested.

[Jerri · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most profound insight was provided upon reflection of the suicide of a loved one. In essence, even though someone is surely loved, they may not feel it. It's a reminder that our words and actions may not have the intended impact. It depends upon the perception of the receiver, which is influenced by past experiences. Only listening to expressed thoughts can reveal what is really going on.

[Moira-ji]

Well, that didn't last long. Quite a lot of talking about what it's going to talk about without ever getting around to directly talking about it. Had to abandon this one. Maybe it should have been an essay.

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

heel nuttig boek, helpt om te zien wat je zelf kunt doen om je geliefd te voelen. goede achtergrond informatie over hoe emoties en stress op elkaar inwerken.

[catharine · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this book was doing the best it could.
But it wasn't particularly enlightening to me to hear a dozen different stories about people's struggles.

[Taija Morgan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some valuable insights to be found here.

[Kayla · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting listen. I might have enjoyed reading it more than I did listening to an audiobook, because I definitely spaced out at a few points. But it surprised me how many things contribute (or detract from) our ability to feel loved/make others feel loved, and how much we can influence that, particularly as recipients. Nothing groundbreaking, certainly, but it was alright.

[Nikki Dubert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Awesome book for getting in tune with your emotions if you are feeling disconnected. It also teaches you tricks to instantly calm yourself down in anxiety induced situations. This book has a companion website with special mind, body, and emotion meditation. I practice meditation off and on, but this was different. I had a fibromyalgia flare up for about two weeks and when I finished the 1st meditation it was gone!! I still held pain in about 3 locations, but everywhere else, it just went away. I felt less stress and better in tune emotionally. Free website helpguide.org

[Kerra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Parts of this book were helpful, but parts were not. I agreed with some advice and disagreed with other pieces of advice. Overall, I think it was a worthwhile read, but I also think that the book may be better suited for someone who had issues in childhood that make feeling loved difficult.