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Lies at the Altar: The Truth About Great Marriages
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Lies at the Altar: The Truth About Great Marriages

3.89  ·  Rating details ·  421 Ratings  ·  83 Reviews
In her bestselling book, Dr. Robin L. Smith reveals how to turn vows made at the altar into realistic plans for a long and happy marriage. For those who are about to walk down the aisle, for those who are already married, and for those contemplating a deeper commitment, Dr. Robin Smith's Lies at the Altar addresses the unspoken needs, unasked questions, outrageous expectat ...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published April 10th 2007 by Hachette Books (first published January 1st 2006)
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Kris - My Novelesque Life
3 STARS

"For those who are about to walk down the aisle, for those who are already married, and for those contemplating a deeper commitment, Dr. Robin Smith's Lies at the Altar addresses the unspoken needs, unasked questions, outrageous expectations, and hidden agendas that damage relationships. By examining traditional, nondenominational wedding vows, Dr. Robin shows how to use them to build a happy, healthy, satisfying, and long-lasting marriage--the kind of marriage many of us have never even
...more
Sarah
Mar 05, 2007 rated it really liked it
Great book to read no matter what kind of relationship you are in. Read before I was married and learned a lot. One I will read again in a few years and will most likely learn more new things from it. Author doesn't say how wonderful her marriage is and that everyone should be like her. Most of the stuff she talks about she went through herself and is giving advice on how to improve the situations or avoid them all together.
Amber
Oct 25, 2007 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: single and married
Man....do i have a lot to say about this book... This book was good for me while I was married and after...and truthfully I wish i would have had something like this to read before I got married. This book doesnt' tell you that your marriage is bad or anything like that, but it goes into more of how to make it good. how to make one work and how it won't work if....
so good. i recommend it to EVERYONE
Tinsley
Mar 22, 2014 rated it liked it
I had to read this for a Sociology class and I knew going into it, it wasn't going to be smart for me. I'm not good with self help books.

But this was so insightful and it really made you think. I learned a lot about myself and my relationship just from reading this. I liked the little exercises too!
Devon
Aug 21, 2007 rated it really liked it
Even though I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon, I picked up this book because I love Dr. Robin. This is a must read for anyone contemplating marriage or anyone who wants to improve the quality of their relationship.
Karan Johnstone
I've got to stop getting all these books that Oprah recommends. After 4 years, I still haven't finished this book!
Michelle Alstead
I loved this book. It's the most helpful relationship book I have ever read. It's great for if you're dating, not dating, married about to get married. Everyone should read this book!
Rosalyn Leigh
it's hard for me to rate this. while i enjoyed it for the most part and even found myself nodding my head in agreement with some of the points made here it was hard for me to take the author's words to mean that she is completely all-knowing. she's very confidant in her opinions and takes on each of the situations she used in here to demonstrate her points on "lies at the altar" but i couldn't take everything she said in stride. i noticed that pretty much all of her marriage counseling scenarios ...more
Ann
Jan 17, 2009 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I guess I should have known this from the title, but this book was extremely negative--certainly more focused on the lies that afflict relationships than on the potentially great marriages built on Truth.

Interestingly enough, she said almost nothing that I disagree with, but I found the whole thing depressing. She told story after story of mistakes her clients have made in their marriages and the misery that resulted. She never talked about ways to make a great marriage and her focus seemed to f
...more
Kim
Feb 09, 2014 rated it liked it
The opening of this book is a bit extreme. Dr. Smith gives lots of examples of couples who stood up and told "lies at the altar" (her phrase) because they didn't truly love each other in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, until death did they part. Her phrasing sounded harsh - so many people go into marriage with the best of intentions.

But as the book went on, I realized that Dr. Smith was trying to make the point that good intentions alone do not make a good marriage. She makes a compel
...more
Tara
Oct 02, 2011 added it
I have to be honest and say I didn't read this book word for word. I skimmed it. It was recommended to me by a friend. Though I agree both parties need to talk and be honest with each other from the beginning and really talk honestly and deeply when they are ready to be married but Dr. Smith makes me question everything. Her book almost turned me off from being married, ever, to anyone because their they are not 100% percent or I'm not. She makes everything a "lie at the alter" even when a mothe ...more
Gemma
Nov 19, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A must-read for anyone who is married, going to get married, or wants to get married. A lot of people delude themselves into thinking that having a wedding will magically make all their relationship problems go away. It's no wonder so many marriages end in divorce. This book delves into the lies we tell ourselves for the sake of a relationship. But is a relationship that requires you to live a lie worth it? If your marriage can survive living in truth, then it will thrive, and both spouses will ...more
Shannon
Jan 23, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
For anyone who is thinking about getting married, you should read this book. Dr. Smith helps you and your partner analyze yourself as an indivdual, each other's separate beliefs, and what you expect out of each other and the relationship. She includes quizzes and prompt questins to help you and your partner anticpate the future. In other words, she helps you look beyond the Hollywood reason for getting married, ("We are so in love.")
Defintely take a look at the book, it can only help you and yo
...more
Thata
Feb 13, 2008 rated it really liked it
Shelves: inspiring, must_read
Masuk ke dalam perkawinan memang bukan masuk ke dalam dunia dongeng. Tetapi juga bukan memasuki medan pertempuran.

Perkawinan adalah babak lain kehidupan bagi yang baru saja memulainya. Dan sebagaimana babak- babak lain dalam kehidupan, di dalamnya ada usaha, dan pemikiran supaya tidak terlilit masalah, dan mampu mengatasi bila ternyata ada masalah.

Buku yang harus dibaca bagi mereka yang sedang mencari pasangan hidup, berencana menikah, atau sudah menikah dan ingin terus menjalaninya tanpa merasa
...more
Carey
Aug 23, 2007 rated it liked it
A must read for anyone about to get married. Not your typical "Is this the person for me?" book. There is a section full of questions and many of them are not the normal questions that people ask of their significant others. The chapter about till death do you part was particularly insightful. It's not just about sticking around if your spouse becomes incapacitated but thinking about how the everyday things you do to yourself that can impact your health plays into the "till death do you part" as ...more
Megan
May 05, 2014 rated it it was amazing
My college professor recommended that everyone read this before getting married. If you can get past the beginning she offers some really great advice and perspective of marriage. At the beginning I felt like she was telling me that all marriages are destined for failure, but by the end it is more optimistic. I really liked the questions just simply so I could reflect upon my owe ideas and expectations. My other favorite part was the marriage table.
Rahmadiyanti
Dec 02, 2007 rated it liked it
Shelves: marriage
Buku yang berusaha menggali lebih dalam tentang sejauh mana mestinya seseorang menghadapi dan menjalani pernikahan yang sehat (bukan karena terpaksa, tuntutan usia, lingkungan, dsb). Sudut pandangnya menarik, meski beberapa bagian menurut saya terlalu detail, dan apakah perlu? Tapi sejauh bijak melihatnya, saya pikir buku ini bagus untuk dibaca. Bukan hanya oleh pasangan yang akan/mau menikah, tapi juga yang telah menikah. 31/2 bintang lah.
Brooke
Jun 04, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Dr. Smith gets right to the point in this must read book for anyone seriously considering marriage. Too many people romanticize marriage to the point that they never talk with their partner about the major points of a partnership; the issues that often times are causes for divorce. There is an actual list of issues to go through so that you and your partner can incite conversation on serious issues that otherwise may not have come up. I highly recommend this book.
Theresa
Sep 01, 2010 rated it it was amazing
A must read for everyone who is considering a long term commitment. It thoroughly explores the questions that are inevitable in all relationships. I read it after 14 years of marriage and aside from the issues I experienced in my marriage, I now have a better understanding of how colossal relationships really are. I urge you to read it, Everyone! Even if you are already involved in a marriage or a long term relationship.
Liz
Aug 22, 2009 rated it did not like it
I thought the start of the book was just giving people excuses to get a divorce. I was listening to this book and I kept thinking as depressed Robin Smith sounded. I think she needs to stop being negative and eats some carbs. Overall, the author states the obvious at times and is over dramatic... read the book if you need an excuse out of a relationship....
Shayne
Aug 14, 2007 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone married or about to be
This woman isn't LDS but she definitely has some great insight into why people do what they do after they are married. She is great helping you understand that your behaviors during marriage may stem from things you didn't even realize were affecting you and that your marriage perception may have been skewed from the very beginning. Great read!
Jen
Oct 16, 2007 rated it liked it
I think everyone read this book. The author brings up some great topics to discuss with your partner. You don't have to be the same or think the same to be in a relationship, but you do have to communicate. She has wonderful ideas for communication and important subjects you should discuss with your partner.
Vickie Maria
Sep 16, 2016 rated it it was amazing
THis book is a must read before getting into any type of a relationship, especially marriage. One will really find out a lot about themselves. There are question and answer activities for husband & wife to participate in before and after marriage. It hits all areas from where to attend church, finances, love, dating, abuse, abandonment, to childhood issues. A very good book, highly recommended.
Lizelle DuPlessis
Jun 22, 2012 rated it it was amazing
People who intend to make a success of their marriage or life-partnership should read this book. This is a book about relationships and since we are all involved in relationships at some point in our lives, it is important to enter such a relationship prepared, which is what the content of Lies at the Altar does. It is a fantastic read!
Hayu Kurniasih
Jul 20, 2007 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: everyone
Hmmm it reveals how to turn vows made at the altar into realistic plans for long and happy marriage.

As a single female who is still looking for her Mr. Right, this book broaden my view about marriage and relationship. The point is that you have to be true to yourself, coz the truth will set you free.

"When I discover who I am, I'll be free" - Ralph Ellison
Jamie
Jun 02, 2008 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: people curious to failed marriages
Read this book during the eve of my friend's wedding day. It was actually her book -- a gift for her wedding shower. Good gift although I would even buy it for people in any serious relationship. However, having a book tell to mentally make decisions in a constructive manner instead of emotional charged decisions is hindsight I feel. Good book---i just hope people can put it into practice.
Ruth
Nov 20, 2009 rated it really liked it
This was an excellent catalyst for thining about tough issues. It's a little, hard. Especially for a person who is in a failing or difficult marriage. It's no nonesne and forces you to examine your relationship and where you've come from, but I think it's a valuable read for anyone considering getting married, or married already.
Stephanie Pender
Sep 03, 2007 rated it liked it
Yes, I know it looks cheesy, but reading this book should be required before anyone commits to a partner. It calls you on the issues you're avoiding, thinking they're going to get them worked out once you commit. It has a list of questions that seems bound to find any issues you might want to work on now, rather than torture each other with later.
PaddedPaws
Jun 05, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: non-fiction
This book is a great tool for people planning to get married. Dr Smith talks about the areas where couples may face challenges and how to address them before getting married. Sometimes people get married when they are very much in love, but still do not know their partner very well. This book offers some ways to open the line of communication on intimate subjects.
Kristen
Nov 30, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Excellent book for single not dating, single dating, single-divorced and married people. It's not only applicable to marital relationships but all relationships. It makes you take a better deeper look at who you truthfully are and why and what could be motivating certain reactions. I'd recommend to anyone.
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