Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
REVISED AND WITH A NEW FOREWORD
ARE YOU GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT?
Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword
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In Getting the Love You W ...more
It is not a dreadful book and there are some good thoughts in it. However, as a sociologist, I have substantial issues with certain aspects of this book, of which I will outline three below.
First: the authors tend to use "global" terms li ...more
Really, though, this book's relevance surprised me, cynic that I am about this kind of book. Harville Hendrix is heavy on the nuance and light on the cheese, and his descriptions of "fusers" and "isolaters" are incredibly useful. (I determined I'm switchy with a lean towards "fuser".) And the exersizes are pretty cool, too. ...more
Interestingly enough, I heard a speech at my synago ...more
What's frustrating? . . . the gender norms expressed in the book. All too often, examples suggest women are (overly) talkative and emotional ...more
I gave it my best effort, really I did. But the love-seeking process described in this book struck me as so inherently selfish and self-serving as to leave me completely disinterested and ...more
It starts slow and is much longer than I think is necessary; several anecdotes could be removed. I almost gave up several ...more
The book zeros in on what you as the reader identifies as important to you in a relationship using a set of questions to discover those. Then it gives examples of how that will look in action.
This book, helped me realize that a man who wanted to marry, was not a good match for me. I begged him to read the book but he refused thinking I'm not sure what. It was a sign that the issues in the relationship would ...more
I was shocked after reading this because I realized how right the writer was about mixing our childhood wounds with the needs we expect to be fulfilled through our marriage. This led me to see things through an entirely different light, not so positive for me, and made me realize my own mistakes instead of being critical of my husband all the time.
"I have found this phenomenon in many of my clients. They react to their partners as if they were carbon copies of their parents, even though ...more
Every relationship you would have as an adult is affected by your childhood and your relationship with your parents or caregivers.
If parents really understood how much emotional damage they do to their children,they would think twice before inflicting such a pain upon them
They would have helped their children avoid years and years of failure and repeated patterns in relationships
They would have tried their best to treat and raise them ...more
The second section outlines the conscious steps we need to take to carve out a healthy relationship. As I was reading these pages, I ...more
In part two when it started talking about actual relationship behaviors and the exercises and principals I found it very in ...more
My husband and I are reading through the book and though it has only been a short time, my ey ...more
The problem is that more often that n ...more