Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
REVISED AND WITH A NEW FOREWORD
ARE YOU GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT?
Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr.
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It is not a dreadful book and there are some good thoughts in it. However, as a sociologist, I have substantial issues with certain aspects of this book, of which I will outline three below.
First: the authors tend to use "global" terms li ...more
Really, though, this book's relevance surprised me, cynic that I am about this kind of book. Harville Hendrix is heavy on the nuance and light on the cheese, and his descriptions of "fusers" and "isolaters" are incredibly useful. (I determined I'm switchy with a lean towards "fuser".) And the exersizes are pretty cool, too.
Interestingly enough, I heard a speech at my synago ...more
What's frustrating? . . . the gender norms expressed in the book. All too often, examples suggest women are (overly) talkative and emotional ...more
I gave it my best effort, really I did. But the love-seeking process described in this book struck me as so inherently selfish and self-serving as to leave me completely disinterested and ...more
It starts slow and is much longer than I think is necessary; several anecdotes could be removed. I almost gave up several ...more
I was shocked after reading this because I realized how right the writer was about mixing our childhood wounds with the needs we expect to be fulfilled through our marriage. This led me to see things through an entirely different light, not so positive for me, and made me realize my own mistakes instead of being critical of my husband all the time.
"I have found this phenomenon in many of my clients. They react to their partners as if they were carbon copies of their parents, even though ...more
Every relationship you would have as an adult is affected by your childhood and your relationship with your parents or caregivers.
If parents really understood how much emotional damage they do to their children,they would think twice before inflicting such a pain upon them
They would have helped their children avoid years and years of failure and repeated patterns in relationships
They would have tried their best to treat and raise them ...more
The second section outlines the conscious steps we need to take to carve out a healthy relationship. As I was reading these pages, I ...more
فهي حياة تتخللها أزمات عاطفية .. تجعلها تنحرف عن مصيرها المعهود
وهو البقاء لأبد الأبدين
يطرح د/هارفيل هندريكس ..
فرضية وهي ما أظن إنها حقيقةٌ مثبة ..
كون معظم مشاكلنا تبدأ من مهدنا .. وتتخذ أشكالاً متعددة
والحل ليس في الطرفين بل الحل في تاريخهم الأسري الحافل بأزمات .. عاطفية وجسدية
وهنا تقع أهمية الكتاب ومسؤوليته .. هي الأخذ بيديك إلى بر الأمان بعلاقتك بشريك حياتك
من خلال البحث والتج ...more
هذا ما فصله الكاتب بشكل سلس و محبب بأن صراعاتنا الزوجية و أساس انجذابنا لشركاء حياتنا يكمن في تجارب الطفولة ولكي نحظى بعلاقة تتميز بالالتحام الروحي والحب فيجب على كلا الشريكين معالجة جراح الآخر وحين يفعل هذا سيكون قد عالج بعضاً من صفاته الذميمة في نفس الوقت.
أرفق الكاتب تمارين عملية في نهاية الكتاب ليطبقها الأزواج وهذا أضاف قيمة للكتاب بالنسبة لي ...more
The reader was very dry, I had a hard time mentally focusing while he spoke. He wasn't the worst I'd heard but he was in the bottom 50%
Apparently the version I listened to had been updated to make it more palatable toward non-traditional relationships, they also removed a section that they discovered was actually ...more
Hendrix and I have preaching and church ministry as a young adult in common. I love this about him. What I don't love is that his psychology model is born of psychoanalytic and Freudian models. He believes that we marry unconsciously to heal the wounds that our early lives have inflicted upon us, and that good marriages heal those wounds.
I believe instead that we marry others who feel instinctively familiar, like family, to us. In both good and bad ways. And that is our own work, our i ...more
Still, it has useful information, such that I recommend reading it for anyone who is in a relationship, whether that relationship be a great one or a tense one, or in between those two. It describes what we (unconsciously) look for in a partner and why. It describes written and verbal exercises couples can do together to improve communication. These alone mak ...more
My husband and I are reading through the book and though it has only been a short time, my ey ...more