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When Clowns Attack: A Guide to the Scariest People on Earth
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When Clowns Attack: A Guide to the Scariest People on Earth

3.64  ·  Rating details ·  56 ratings  ·  25 reviews
THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU
 
Coulrophobia--the fear of clowns--is very real and for good reason. You might think these red-nosed jokers are creepy, sure, but certainly not dangerous. You’d be wrong. Clowns never reveal their real names, and dress to obscure their identities. The rules of civilized society don't apply to them (what other stranger could offer candy to children a
...more
Hardcover, 136 pages
Published September 29th 2015 by Ten Speed Press
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Average rating 3.64  · 
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 ·  56 ratings  ·  25 reviews


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Erin *Proud Book Hoarder*

Plus there's no way you can slather greasepaint on your cheeks day by day and not start to think about it as war paint. And when war paint goes on the face, things can get violent real fast.

I received this book from netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I didn't know what to expect going in, figuring it was some sort of humor book - which it is. I never thought it would be so incredibly involved - every piece of costume is disected on a clown's evil meaning, every type of face paint, every
...more
Mauoijenn
This was kinda funny, out there and just plain weird.
Let the title of this book do the talking.
Etienne
Dec 01, 2018 rated it it was ok
Funny and childish... I was expecting something more adult and creepy! They go through all aspect of a clown adding absurd jokes here and there like every survival guide to «something». Not really original. A big joke! Not really worth it!
Jim
Oct 09, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: jims-reviews, humor
This book is insane. It's such a crazy idea, it's hard to doubt the veracity of its claims.

And October is the perfect month to read it. It kept me up more than once. Especially with the bevy of clown pictures designed to scare you into taking steps to protect yourself!

Exhaustingly researched, this little book will tell you all you need to know to defend you and your loved ones from the scourge that is clowns.

Their weapons:

With their ridiculous size, clown shoes constitute a deadly weapon, ac
...more
Debbie
Oct 17, 2015 rated it liked it
This really wasn't a book that you would just pick up and read. It's more like a gag book that you would give to people who really, really hate clowns (hence the reason I picked the book). Or a book you would keep in your restroom to read the short stories, while doing your business.

I did learn a few things while reading this book. But it was definitely difficult for me to look at the pictures as I am not really a huge clown fan myself. I mean I don't freak out about them, but they can stay at t
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Joseph
Nov 06, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: arc, survivalist, weird
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
A.R. Bonner
Reading this book took me back to the 6th grade. It was during the killer clown era in our small cyn try town. I remember teachers would remind us to beware of the creepy white van. Clowns are creepy! And because this book is about clowns it makes it creepy as well. However, I thoroughly enjoyed the creepiness and the humor in it.

I loved the detail it was as if you were literally standing in front of the clowns, preparing to defend yourself and sock the living daylights out of em. I think I'm p
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Tom
Jun 19, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Outstanding! This book should be on every family's bookshelf, and its four-step system for protecting self and family from these red-nosed jokers - assess, analyze, defend, protect - should be taught in every home. On top of that, it's a short, quick read. ...more
Brandi
Feb 23, 2016 rated it really liked it
Finally confirmed what we all knew about clowns, they are maniacal killers...
Sinead
Mar 28, 2018 rated it liked it
i have to say it was good i loved the humor in but i don't think some people will get it. I like how it was broken up into the different sections explaining things from names to different types of clowns ...more
Ietrio
Sep 21, 2017 rated it it was ok
Shelves: junk
This is another of those Zombie Survival books with a variation which is not big enough to make a difference. Unoriginal.
Robert Durough, Jr.
Sep 25, 2015 rated it really liked it
Do you suffer from coulrophobia? Paranoia? Violent tendencies? If so, do not read Chuck Sambuchino’s When Clowns Attack: A Survival Guide! However, if you can keep your emotions in check (and enjoy comedic satire), then it’s probably safe for you to move forward. I picked this one up looking for something off the wall that would have no connection with much of the political and theological pools in which I’m often steeped. How wrong I was!

When Clowns Attack could just as easily have been a serio
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Meaghan
Sep 30, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: e-galley
Fear of clowns — coulrophobia — is real the entire year but it is certainly exacerbated during the Halloween season. And with creepy clown sightings on the rise around the world, you can never be too careful. This tongue-in-cheek book will act as a guide to get you through the worst clown encounters.

The first struggle is to confirm the presence of a clown. The book lists clues such as:

THEIR HAIR: Never a natural color, shape, or size. More often than not, it’s a clown-fro that looks like a pom-p
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Mouse
Feb 04, 2016 rated it it was ok
So....uh...this book happened! I guess that's the only way I can describe this book!
Is this a book? I don't really know what this thing is that I read?!?!
I stumbled upon this book at my local library, which is a shock since I'm surprised they'd even carry something like this! So I grabbed it without really thinking.
At first I thought...boy this book is gonna be a hoot! Do people even say things like that anymore....??....hoot?
But this book is like a prank gone too far and it just goes on and o
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astrea
Apr 30, 2015 rated it liked it
(I received an ARC copy of this from Netgally)

2.5/5

So I'm awful and totally got distracted by everything and forgot I was reading this. Ooops. That has nothing to do with the book just everything with me being a scatterbrained reader.

This book was okay. It had it's moments, but for the most part it just didn't really hit for me. I think I might have been expecting it to be a bit more like a horror book - to focus on aspects like clowns found in It, or Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Clowns like
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Richard Luzer
Sep 22, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Coulrophobia, the irrational fear of clowns, is apparently a much more widespread phenomenon than any of us could have imagined. If you are a sufferer, this could be just the book to drive you over the edge. Featured are warning signs of imminent clown attacks, a guide to clown gang behavior (including the significance of the color of those size 22 shoes), and the secret, nefarious influence of clowns throughout history. A section on warding off hordes of menacing clowns should prove popular (hi ...more
Thelonia Saunders
Aug 03, 2015 rated it really liked it
Clowns have always terrified me. The blanche faces akin to cadavers, permanent crimson smiles, the face that they so often work with balloons (which always seem on the bring of explosion), the fact that you may never know how many of them are in one of those tiny, tiny cars.

When Clowns Attack is an in depth exploration of that most terrifying of phenomena, the Clown. It tells you how they think, so you may learn their secrets and know how to avoid them.

It is always good to brush up on your enemi
...more
Sophia Christos
Sep 18, 2015 rated it really liked it
This book is a very funny and relaxing read. It made me consider clowns on a whole new, scarier level that I never before thought of. It describes all the sneaky ways why clowns are dangerous and how they cause trouble. My favorite part, which was also the most fascinating topic of the book, was where it mentioned all the clown riots throughout time and all the famous clowns in history. Who would have thought clowns worked together in groups like the mafia? Did you know there was an actual seria ...more
Sara Dahmen
Dec 23, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Highly entertaining, a bit tongue in cheek. What I liked was that it was not only witty, but that sometimes you had to stop and go - wait...he's making this up, right?! Just fun to have it feel like some of the humor was "fact" which in a way adds to the credibility of this purely entertaining and in-jest book. Just a funny quick read that anyone who has ever faced clowns (or been a clown in a past life) will identify with! ...more
Nidhal Ben Tahar
Oct 14, 2016 rated it really liked it
They say a good book is one which leaves you with more questions after reading it. This book proved to be OK. When picked it I wondered, who in the world took the time to write about the dangerous clowns. When i closed it I was perplexed, why was I even interested in reading such an argument, how could I take seriously in the first place.
Steve Rogers
Oct 11, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This is one of those books that keeps you wanting more. You read a page, turn to the next, and just find yourself flipping though one chapter to the next. If you have ever been disturbed emotionally by a clown, then this book is for you.
Jennie Bickel
Sep 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Got an advanced copy. Pretty funny book.
Aaron Badgley
Jan 28, 2016 rated it really liked it
One of the funniest books I have read, and most distrubing. I am always on the look out for a hyuck hyuck behind me while at the ATM. Thanks Chuck!
Amber
Nov 04, 2015 rated it it was amazing
The only funny thing about clowns is this book! A thoroughly enjoyable read from a gifted writer, I feel prepared!
megHan
rated it it was amazing
Oct 25, 2015
Roxanne
rated it really liked it
Feb 09, 2016
Viktória Larišová
rated it did not like it
Jan 08, 2018
Aoife Lennon
rated it really liked it
Oct 13, 2020
Marissa
rated it it was ok
Mar 11, 2016
Dave Tamanini
rated it liked it
Sep 25, 2015
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Madison Mega-Mara...: #128 When Clowns Attack by Chuck Sambuchino 1 2 Oct 09, 2015 10:39AM  

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