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Fire Down Below

(Gynazule #1)

by
3.39  ·  Rating details ·  2,115 ratings  ·  538 reviews
Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.

Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds fil
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Paperback, 282 pages
Published February 28th 2015 by Debra Anastasia
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Average rating 3.39  · 
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 ·  2,115 ratings  ·  538 reviews


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Debra Anastasia
Jan 06, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Recommends it for: Anyone that laughs at their morning fart.
Recommended to Debra by: I think it was the devil.
I was tempted to give this filth one star, but in the interests of this being its only 5 star review, I will commit to the whole shebang.

It is the worst story ever told. It's difficult to assign a genre to this pile of weirdness because it was rejected from every group it tried to join. So now it sits in its underwear crying to Ed Sheeran and hoping someone will call it pretty.

It is not pretty. It's supposed to be comedy, but with all the farts and cursing who the hell knows? Maybe it's a paro
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✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
Scientific BR with my MacHalo Freaks starting Nov. 7, 2015.



DNF at 31%

The author says in the acknowledgements that anyone who finishes this book deserves a medal. No shit.

Rarely have I read such a piece of trash. Who wrote this? A hormonal teenage boy? It sure seems like it. Compared to this book the American Pie movies are highly creative, intellectual masterpieces. This is just the most vulgar, tasteless, stupid, idiotic thing I was ever given to read. And what the hell is up with the author
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Belle Aurora
Feb 08, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Fire Down Below was unlike anything I have ever read. It was so awkward and cringeworthy and SO funny all at the same time!

I lost count of the amount of fart and poop mentions in this book, but I laughed every time!

Debra Anastasia is amazingly funny and has the ability to tell a great story aside from the funnies.

My fave line:
"Johnson reached into his pocket and pulled out...
HIS DICK!

No, it was a pocketknife."


This was such a great read!!!
Jessica  (Angie & Jessica's Dreamy Reads)
Um. Did....did that....yeah....she went there...is that...um...did she....whaaaaat.... how do I put this?

If memory serves me correctly, I don't recall ever reading a romance before where the heroine shat her pants. Or stood up in an Olive Garden and publicly declared her need for ointment for her vaginal afflictions. I mean, what the actual hell is happening in this book, Debra Anastasia?

I totally commend this author for what she did here. I got what she was going for, an outside the box, totall
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Monty Cupcake ☠ Queen of Bloodshed ☠
Well, I finally read this festering wound of a book. I felt I had to, since it was my fault for finding it, after all. I've certainly done my penance as I read this in full. Yes, in full. I now require the highest concentration of rubbing alcohol available for my memory. No one should have to be subjected to such a horrible book. It's like gangre on a hairy man's ass, that you're required to look at for hours, in close proximity.

I would rather brush the teeth of a rabid raccoon than ever read a
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Carol (StarAngel's Reviews) Allen
Book – Fire Down Below (Gynazule #1)
Author – Debra Anastasia
Publication Date – February 28, 2015
Genre – Humor/Romance
Type – Part of Series
Cliffhanger – Kind of
Rating –5 out of 5 Stars

Complimentary Copy generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.


My Thoughts - Story
My first thoughts when finishing this story was:



♦♦♦ 5 Poopilicious-Yeasty-Assalanche Stars ♦♦♦

I wanted to die last night when I read the last paragraph....NOOOOOOO Debra!! I so hate you now. 

You are a
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Natalie ✩★ The Biblioholic ★✩
I tried really hard to like this book, but within 5 pages, I realized I couldn't force it. It was funny. If you like dirty jokes and humor, you'll find plenty of that here and I loved that part. I even loved the side characters. I didn't like Dove. It was really hard to get into this chick. I wasn't on board with the romance between her and Johnson. Maybe it will be fleshed out and seem more real in the following book, but I didn't love this story enough to discover if that's true. So two stars ...more
Helena Hunting
Jan 08, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Much like a persistent yeast infection; this love story will make you burn with the fire of a thousand suns, and wish there was some kind of effective medicine to erase the the unyielding itch in your heart and your pants. Debra Anastasia writes underpants humour like no one else.
Louise
Jan 26, 2015 rated it really liked it
What a crack book!
I love the first half, got me laughing and crying. The second half was a doozy, it made me snort anyway most of the time it made me laughing out loud I don't know if I needed some eye bleach reading this.
This is one of my fav part in the story:
The male squirrel dropped his nut and jumped quickly behind the female squirrel,
The male squirrel refused to read Dove’s mind and started climbing on the female squirrel, The obscene, public intercourse ended with one final, furry p
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Michelle
Feb 27, 2015 rated it it was ok
When Dove goes to her local drug store to pick up her prescription, Johnson (the pharmacist) not only catches her eye, but shouts about her lady business; leaving our awkward Dove a little red in the face. A series of mishaps, misunderstandings and gas-gone-wrong moments ensue as Dove tries her best to seduce him.

So I have to say the start of this story had me laughing pretty badly but then things just fell off. A lot of over the top humor that didn’t have enough seriousness to it to make this s
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JAIME
Nov 05, 2015 marked it as nope-nope-nope
Shelves: fuck-no
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??!!

I am not reading this.
Blushing Reader
Feb 15, 2015 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2015-books-read
I am not sure what to say. I can't decide what I think about Fire Down Below. I read this over a week ago and while some parts still have me snickering, others I can't bleach out of my mind, lol. I have stated in past reviews that would read anything Debra Anastasia wrote and this sure tested that theory! I cringed, gagged, and had my mind boggled while reading this book (and I still feel a bit dirty).

If you are a fan of stoner comedies, like Harold and Kumar, or enjoyed movies like Porky's, the
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Leisa
Jan 08, 2015 rated it it was amazing
From the sick and twisted mind of one of the most spectacularly funny people on this planet, Fire Down Below will forever redefine what you think of as hilarious. Fair warning, Debra Anastasia will run away with your heart. (And your panties.)

A literary event not to be missed.
1-Click Addict Support Group
Feb 22, 2015 rated it it was amazing
So, have you ever had a friend tell you, “don’t look now, but…”? Or have you ever driven past a horrible car wreck on the highway and you can’t help but look? Have you ever seen someone get severely injured and not been able to help them because you sat there in stunned disbelief? All of that is this book. And then some.

I will warn you now not to read this book but if you are anything like me you will not heed this warning, and you will do what you want anyways.

If you do decide to disregard my
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Stephanie   GooglyEyes
Feb 20, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor-comedy
*crickets*




What....the....hell was that? I feel like I need to take a 2 hour shower.
The best way to describe this book, Slapstick. Its like 3-Stooges meets, well, someone pretty gross.
Lots of fart and dick jokes. If those offend you, do NOT read this book. I will admit, I had to read this book in small doses. While I did actually laugh out loud, the humor was a bit much for one full on sitting.

Dove, the heroin in this book seems pretty quiet for the most part. Very awkward, that's for sure. Her
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Jaime Fiction Fangirls
This is a giant fucking joke right?!? Is this a way for authors to punk us bloggers into sounding like complete idiots?
This book was awful. The fart jokes and genital talk were juvenile at best and were in abundance. This book made me cringe more often than smile but somehow I still couldn't stop reading it!!
How did I fall in love with these characters....how?!?! Why did I NEED to know how this played out? Why do I need more?
A reader today asked me if I recommend it. My reply was as follows:
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Heather the Queen of (Smut)Books
"I'd rather #selfie on the shitter than finish reading this book."

Yes. That.





Buddy Read with my fellow Freaks.

I just...that blurb...I...fuck it. I have to know what the fuck...

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Jen
Feb 16, 2015 rated it it was ok
I'm so sad to say that this book just wasn't for me. I'm sure it's a case of "It's not you, it's me." It started out funny, but just fell flat for me. The characters seemed a bit childish for me. I still want to read more by this author. Please don't take my word for it. It may just work for you.
Gretchen  (About That Story)
This was just crazy and obnoxious and funny as hell! All those things that happen you don't want to talk about or admit too, they were covered. I felt like a 10 year old reading something I shouldn't and I enjoyed ever second of it.

In the midst of the madness is this insane cast of characters that are so outrageously over the top you can't help but love them. I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. Let me be clear, this was was over the top, potty mouth, ridiculous humor... if fart
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Xtina Marie
 photo review_zpsjjprooze.jpg


Holy Crap! Still laughing

Wow, this was amazing! I've chuckled before while reading..I've smiled many times while reading, but FDB had me in hysterics! I woke my husband up reading in bed next to him, because I was shaking the bed so hard with my laughter. I don't know, maybe he thought I was masturbating and wanted in on the action..

Debra Anastasia has such a great storytelling ability! I can totally see these pages unfolding into a sitcom, maybe one on HBO or Cinnemax though lol

Can't wait f
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Jo - •.★Reading Is My Bliss★.•
I was going to say that this book should come with a warning but it already does, not just from Debra but from lots of other authors and bloggers too.
This book was like reading Debra's twitter feed in book form. Seriously, if you follow Debra on social media you will already be semi- prepared for the ride that this story will take you on, if you don't follow her then you are well and truly going to wonder what the hell is going on!

No subject or orifice is off limits in this crazy story that will
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L.J (Lisa Jane)
Jan 14, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: series, arc
*ARR (Advance Reader Review) - copy provided as a gift in exchange for an honest review...


Ever just sit there and think......I have no words..just ...none....speechless...blank, void, shocked LOL

So The first thing I want to point out in my review is WOW!!! Congrats to Deb for having balls of steel and not only writing this hot mess, but publishing it as well.
The next thing is - wth did I just read. Revolting, disgusting, crude, romantic, odd, strange, a hot fucked up mess and HILLARIOUS!!!!!!!!!
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⊱✿⊰ Alicia ⊱✿⊰
Feb 09, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: lol, rom-com, omfg
OMFG!!!!!! PMSL, I have a sick mind and sick humour and this book was just HILARIOUS. I was laughing so hard I woke my man up (he did not get it). Looking forward to the next laugh fest :)
Susi
Jan 13, 2015 rated it it was amazing

Fire Down Below tells the story of Dove, a young woman suffering from issues, you know, down below. Her new pharmacist, Dr. Fitzwell (I love this name) and several of Dove’s kooky friends are sure to entertain you. Their lives and daily interactions are quite unusual in a twisted and inappropriately humorous way.

Debra has no filters when it comes to writing and this story is evidence that her talent comes across in all genres. Speaking of genres, what genre is this?

Fire Down Below is shocking bu
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Paula Radell
Feb 24, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Fans of Debra Anastasia, unite! This one will blow your knickers off...in more ways than one.

Not a fan of Debra Anastasia? Read it anyway. Find out why.

I can't say I wasn't warned. I can say that despite the warnings, I was woefully unprepared for this steaming hot pile of literary excrement. I can also tell you:

My book virginity has been irretrievably lost. #TotallyWorthIt.

Fifty Shades of Grey? Loved it. Fire Down Below can best be described as Fifty Shades of Brown ... but I loved it, too, de
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Hollie

Absolutely fucking ridiculous - but ohhhh so funny

This book was CRAZY. I'm not even sure how to rate it so I guess it's better to break it down:

The pros:
* HILARIOUS - I cannot tell you have many times I busted out laughing. This is one of those books best read alone, not in the company of others because it will cause some hard core giggling
* The characters (even secondary) were unrealistic, but you couldn’t help but like them all
* The writing style was one of a kind and irresistible
* Loved the c
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Iza
Jan 15, 2015 rated it really liked it
1. What did I just read?
2. OMG I couldn't stop laughing!
3. If there's anyone with lady-balls big enough to publish this, that's Debra!

This book is a joke, ridiculous and you will laugh your soul out. It's full of cliches and you won't know whether to cringe or laugh.

Sometimes, I did both.

Dove had some facepalm-worthy moments, while Johnson was stinkin' cute - yes, his name made me snort.

But I was surprised by one of the side characters - there's an array of them, they're all crazy and funny - w
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I’d just rather read 📚
It was vulgar. Hard to get through all the inappropriateness. Some of it was funny but more of it was soooo wrong! I mean, I have a foul mouth but jeez, the stuff in this book would put a sailors mouth to shame!!
Loz
Feb 16, 2015 marked it as did-not-finish
dnf @ 55 pages in.

really funny to start but gets a bit ridiculous as it goes along. it's probably just a case of 'it's not you, it's me' as i usually enjoy some pretty out there humour but i wasn't feeling this one. maybe one day i'll try again.
Mary Elizabeth
Feb 04, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: copa-author
All joking aside, Debra is the funniest person I know.

Full Review to come.
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… he walked a tightrope five stories up just to hold my hand.

Gaze: I moved into the building next to Pixie when I was eleven. She blew bubbles through my window. I shot my Nerf gun through hers. We both had secrets, but one of us was fated to get hurt. I wanted it to be me.

Pixie: When I was afraid of the dark, he would shine a light in my window. We shared our popsicles and I taught him how to get
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