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優しいプライド

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病院で目覚めた志上里利は、自分が中学時代の同級生・保高慎二の乗る車に撥ねられたのだと知る―十年ぶりに再会した保高は、その病院の研修医だった。利き腕を怪我して不自由なところを、保高の部屋に招かれ甲斐甲斐しく世話を焼かれる志上。保高のことが気になりながらもつい反発してしまうが…。

待望の文庫化!書き下ろし短編も収録。

300 pages, Paperback

First published January 12, 2002

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砂原糖子

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Profile Image for Sophie.
2,638 reviews116 followers
January 25, 2015
I picked a rather sad one for my first book of the year, but I liked it a lot so I think that's okay.

I'll be honest: Shigami, the main character, does things I usually would find hard to forgive. And I'm not sure I forgive him, actually, but he does pay for his mistakes and changes himself. It's not quite like in one of Nagira Yuu's better novels, but it was satisfying enough for me.

At the beginning of the novel, Shigami is a successful host who has no problem with having several girlfriends at once - who he only sleeps with for the money, of course. But as he leaves the hotel after one of his dates, he gets hit by a car and ends up with a broken right arm. And if that wasn't enough, the driver turns out to be his classmate from middle school, Hodaka - someone Shigami doesn't have fond memories of.

Because of his injury, Hodaka offers Shigami to move in with him so he can take care of him. And it turns out that's a sharp move, especially since Shigami's appartment full of expensive clothes and furniture burns down a couple of days later. If you think that's a bit much tragedy all at once let me tell you two things: first, this is a BL novel and second, it's the punishment for the way Shigami treated his ex-girlfriend - he hit her, and she burnt down his apartment. I didn't really feel sorry for him there.

Anyway, we also soon learn more of Shigami and Hodaka's past. If you think Shigami was bullied in middle school, you guessed right, but if you thought Hodaka was one of the bullies, guess again. In fact Hodaka tried to defend Shigami, but that only made things worse and hurt Shigami's pride. There's actually more tragedy (a whole town's worth, actually) in Shigami's childhood, and while it doesn't excuse his behaviour as an adult, you can see why he turned out the way he did.

Thankfully it seems he can still change. Before he does though, there's a huge load of drama to take in though, so much that it felt a bit overdone at times. But what made up for that was every scene between Hodaka and Shigami.

The way the slowly grow used to each other. I am a sucker for scenarios like "forced to live together for some reason". Shigami's actions are really fucked up at times, but they make sense considering his character. I loved Hodaka's confession - that he was in love with Shigami in middle school, and now has fallen for him again - and I love that this time it was the seme who was a virgin and not the uke.

What I loved most though was that there was an "after" after the happy ending. It was two extra stories, one written especially for the bunko edition - the original story is actually over 10 years old - and the longer one was told from Hodaka's POV and set two years after the end of the main story. I love reading about a couple's every day life and how difficult it is to maintain a relationship but still figure out a way. And in this case it was even more difficult, considering Shigami's issues.

All in all, it wasn't exactly the perfect novel - for example, they both could do with friends who aren't them. And I can't say I liked the way women were depicted here either (although I hope the ex who burned his house down really never gets caught). There also was a little too much drama. But I still ended up loving Shigami and Hodaka a lot.

The illustrations weren't quite as good as the cover suggests, but several did a really great job of capturing the mood of a scene.

I was torn between three and four stars, and the final short story made me go for four. It definitely was good enough for me to want to read more by the author.

Edit: haha, I'm an idiot with too many books... Of course I've already read other books by her - the Kotonoha... books are also by her...
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