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Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Put You in Control
There’s a wide spectrum of emotional sensitivity, and it varies from one person to another. Some people oscillate between over-control and over-expression. Others stuff or hide their emotions for months before they finally blow their stack and “stand up for them selves” through overly aggressive behaviors.
People diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) for example, are are often emotionally sensitive, and may have problems with emotion dysregulation, but they aren’t the only ones who have trouble with managing emotions—we all do. There have probably been times in each of our lives when we can remember not being in our “right mind.”
When we are regularly undone by our emotions, we become victims of damaged relationships, trapped circumstances, self-sabotage, and illness. Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life offers help to all of us who want to gain the upper hand on our feelings and our lives. Even high reactors, people disposed to experiencing strong, even overwhelming emotions on a regular basis, will find its strategies easy to use and effective at managing frequent emotional flare-ups.
This book develops proven dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) techniques into worksheets, exercises, and assessments that show you how to pay attention to emotions when they arise, assess blocks to controlling them, and overcome them to eliminate overpowering feelings. Learn what emotional triggers exist in your environment and become less judgmental about yourself when you do experience a surge. Avoid or reduce the distress that strong emotions cause you. This workbook teaches you to reduce the impact of painful feelings and increase the effects of positive ones so that you can tolerate life's ongoing stresses and achieve a sense of calm coexistence with your emotions.
People diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) for example, are are often emotionally sensitive, and may have problems with emotion dysregulation, but they aren’t the only ones who have trouble with managing emotions—we all do. There have probably been times in each of our lives when we can remember not being in our “right mind.”
When we are regularly undone by our emotions, we become victims of damaged relationships, trapped circumstances, self-sabotage, and illness. Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life offers help to all of us who want to gain the upper hand on our feelings and our lives. Even high reactors, people disposed to experiencing strong, even overwhelming emotions on a regular basis, will find its strategies easy to use and effective at managing frequent emotional flare-ups.
This book develops proven dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) techniques into worksheets, exercises, and assessments that show you how to pay attention to emotions when they arise, assess blocks to controlling them, and overcome them to eliminate overpowering feelings. Learn what emotional triggers exist in your environment and become less judgmental about yourself when you do experience a surge. Avoid or reduce the distress that strong emotions cause you. This workbook teaches you to reduce the impact of painful feelings and increase the effects of positive ones so that you can tolerate life's ongoing stresses and achieve a sense of calm coexistence with your emotions.
206 pages, Paperback
First published January 31, 2003
125 people are currently reading
1039 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
March 26, 2009
a workbook on how to handle emotions. this is honestly something that is an ongoing struggle for me - i was taught as a child never to show emotion, which i decided meant that it wasn't okay to feel things. i'm also prone to periods of intense sadness and anxiety. i'm not one for self help books usually but this book is surprisingly practical and addresses current theory behind how emotional responses work.
June 7, 2016
Don't let your emotions run your life..." Don't let your emotions RUIN your life, I feel would be a more appropriate title for me.
This workbook definitely helped in the way of opening my eyes, however, I know it's up to me to actually do something about it.
This workbook definitely helped in the way of opening my eyes, however, I know it's up to me to actually do something about it.
June 19, 2009
While this is a workbook on behavior therapy, it is more than a workbook in that it is a life lesson about yourself. The premise of the workbook is that if you can change your "self-talk" you can change your behavior. I whole-heartedly agree with this standard that change is a result of our thinking. I rarely read self-help books. "Ho hum and ahhhhhh", they are put out in droves written with either common sense or fantastic "way out" theroys that seem unbelievable to me. Often you read so many sob stories you want to put the book down to get out of the dregs of the writing. This workbook is about you and doesn't everybody love that topic?
May 16, 2017
Because this book contains actual therapy, it can't be read at one sitting. I was very surprised finding out how reluctant I was to work through some issues, and to be honest, I haven't done most of the exercises. Out of curiosity I scanned all the book. I'm pretty sure it would help me immensely, because I am not able to detach myself from my emotions, and still be on top of my performance (I can't count when I'm stressed, and I burn all pots and pans). Therefore this is a book I might consider reading again during Christmas time, or take with me to some cruise vacation. From what I have seen, the method is very efficient, providing the person invests a lot of work and time into doing prescribed exercises.
July 21, 2014
Excellent resource. Easy to read and very helpful. The exercises and charting graphs make the information practical to implement.
The most helpful part to me personally was learning to "live in the moment" when I would normally be consumed with anxiety.
The most helpful part to me personally was learning to "live in the moment" when I would normally be consumed with anxiety.
April 7, 2013
Great tool for working with clients.
June 17, 2014
Really interesting book on how to interpret your emotions and challenge your thoughts.
July 5, 2016
The author uses descriptors such as "worrywart," and regards "intense emotion" and "outburst" as being the same thing. Those are just two examples of his lack of appreciation for the target audience. He also makes assumptions that the reader has experienced particular circumstances, and exhibits symptoms of dysfunctions that might not pertain to the reader at all. I would recommend this book to no one. In my opinion, if you need help with emotional issues, you would be much better served by reading self-help books by authors with at least PhD degrees in psychology, and many more years of experience treating diverse patient populations. For my situation, this book has been much more harmful than helpful. That's just my opinion. Your experience might be totally different.
June 24, 2015
This book was a review of the skills that I learned in DBT several years ago. It really helped me refresh my memory. There are lots of great exercises to do in this book. I would highly recommend it to anyone.
June 4, 2017
Overall a pretty good book however, I couldn't get past editing mistakes and some of the common sensical examples of emotional dysregulation. Helpful to a certain point and then fell short with the follow through
August 4, 2017
Good content on emotion regulation and interpersonal skills. A little light on crisis survival skills. The author stays consistent with the DBT philosophy and acronyms. Good self-help book or refresher for someone who has previously completed DBT treatment.
October 18, 2016
Very nice and clear guide for self-learning of some behavior and emotions management skills. A useful reference for counselors and therapists, who coaches people in emotions management.
January 8, 2024
This book, despite being around 20 years old, is a really valuable workbook for DBT. I looked into it originally as a supplement to help with ongoing mental health treatment, and found it to be exceptionally useful at reframing my outlook on emotions, how I deal with them, what it means to feel positively or negatively in the context of everything else. It was a good book with plenty of useful worksheets to help practice mindfulness and reframing thoughts. I thought it lost some steam in the back half and there were a few typos, but every chapter had valuable information and it is something I see myself thinking back on a lot moving forward.
June 1, 2017
Great and helpful read
Thoroughly enjoyed this book. The teachings were used daily. I need to buy the non-kindle version to make copies of the fill in worksheets.
Thoroughly enjoyed this book. The teachings were used daily. I need to buy the non-kindle version to make copies of the fill in worksheets.
April 23, 2022
It helped me connect with reality a little more that i would always thank this author.
March 21, 2023
This workbook offers actionable steps for conflict resolution and centering on behavioral changes for teenagers.
It is a very good book.
It is a very good book.
January 25, 2025
When I put the book down: the author gives an example of when a husband intentionally makes a sarcastic comment about his wife’s appearance. The author advises that the wife, instead of being aggressive, should realize that she is sad and convey that to her partner. This is a pretty outdated. In fact, most women would be angry at this sort of comment and have a right to be. The author also repeatedly gives examples of happy sad and angry emotions and I found this lacked precision. In general, I believe this book is quite amateurish.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews